Honest Question - Men & strip clubs

I think your friend should be deciding if there is a problem with it, not you or a bunch of random people on an internet forum. *LOL*

Clearly, I will make a decision based on everyone's feedback here and force her to adhere to what I have decided.

LOL Awesome!

To be clear... She asked my opinions. My thought was "If it doesn't bother you, then it doesn't matter what I think."

But in my head, I'm wondering if it were my SO, would it bother me?? I'm really not sure...

That's what I would say to a friend, and to answer, it would bother me, yes. Of course it's not the same as any other bar... It's the same as any other bar, only you're paying the women to take their clothes off to dance seductively for you. LOL And there are many couples who have no problem with it, there are couples who love it, and there are couples who don't appreciate it. Mine? We're the latter.

My DH goes to stuff like that every year or every other year when there's a bachelor party, other than that, nah. He's happy to encourage me to do any number of things that aren't fit to mention here, and I eagerly ablige, or come up with others. LOL If that wasn't enough for him, I honestly would take an issue with it.
If your friend looks at it differently, that's her beeswax, though. Though I do think many women are just pushed to act like they're cool with it, and I don't really like that. KWIM? Like pretending it's about her "confidence" and such. No, if you view the world differently, good for you, but in a relationship, the two people should care about each other, and how the other person feels.

I personally think its trashy. I think men who pay for a lap dances are paying to cheat. Its exactly like paying for a hooker. If its just like going to any other bar, why doesn't he just go to another bar then?

Because his friends are there. Also there's no indication he's actually paying for lap dances. He's hanging out with friends.

IMHO here. Paying for sex doesn't = paying for a lap dance.

I personally think its trashy. I think men who pay for a lap dances are paying to cheat. Its exactly like paying for a hooker. If its just like going to any other bar, why doesn't he just go to another bar then?

Eye candy.

I that it is a decision made between two people. If one party is not okay with it, then the other needs to evaluate which is more important - the relationship or going to a strip club. I don't ever think it's right to be dishonest with your mate -- well...except when they ask "Do these pants make my butt look big?" Then...??

Another important point: Once you've known a REALLY EFFED UP stripper ... they all just kind of seem like sad little girls. I mean, I can put that aside to see some t!tty every now and then, but when I leave I always remember the dancer I used to hang out with who had a controlling, disgusting, oil-baron sugar daddy .. she may have been gorgeous, nails always perfect, hair shiny and nice, but her life was far from fabulous...

So, basically, again, dudes that kick with strippers aren't typically in to strippers, so I really have like, one million percent no problem with it.

Truth. Right there.

Another important point: Once you've known a REALLY EFFED UP stripper ... they all just kind of seem like sad little girls. I mean, I can put that aside to see some t!tty every now and then, but when I leave I always remember the dancer I used to hang out with who had a controlling, disgusting, oil-baron sugar daddy .. she may have been gorgeous, nails always perfect, hair shiny and nice, but her life was far from fabulous...

So, basically, again, dudes that kick with strippers aren't typically in to strippers, so I really have like, one million percent no problem with it.

ABSOLUTELY dead on. This girl was polished to a T from a physical standpoint. It was mind boggling to me because she didn't come from the type of money or family to do that, but in her personal life...she was "white trash." I hate using that term, for the record, but it's the easiest way I can describe her. Plus she drank every single night we went out and got totally smashed. In the end when I should have been furious enough to want to ruin her whole life, I just felt sorry for her.

Another important point: Once you've known a REALLY EFFED UP stripper ... they all just kind of seem like sad little girls. I mean, I can put that aside to see some t!tty every now and then, but when I leave I always remember the dancer I used to hang out with who had a controlling, disgusting, oil-baron sugar daddy .. she may have been gorgeous, nails always perfect, hair shiny and nice, but her life was far from fabulous...

So, basically, again, dudes that kick with strippers aren't typically in to strippers, so I really have like, one million percent no problem with it.

Truth. Right there.

I think I'm too old [blush], I don't understand the last paragraph. Men who frequent strip clubs aren't into strippers? Or men who date strippers aren't into strippers?

I think theres nothing wrong if you go 2 or 3 times a year........around my age alot of guys are getting married so visits are more frequent due to bachelor parties etc....
I myself am planning on a trip within these next 2 weeks.

Last time I was at one was last year :bigsmile:

Another important point: Once you've known a REALLY EFFED UP stripper ... they all just kind of seem like sad little girls. I mean, I can put that aside to see some t!tty every now and then, but when I leave I always remember the dancer I used to hang out with who had a controlling, disgusting, oil-baron sugar daddy .. she may have been gorgeous, nails always perfect, hair shiny and nice, but her life was far from fabulous...

So, basically, again, dudes that kick with strippers aren't typically in to strippers, so I really have like, one million percent no problem with it.

No kidding! My husband and I used to know a couple and she was a stripper. They were a hot mess!

Interesting. I've been to many strip clubs, and yet, not once have I paid for sex. I guess I possess the strongest willpower on the planet.

You ARE paying, in overpriced drinks and with your reputation.

What? I don't get the reputation thing. Is there some kind of a public list of people who frequent strip clubs?

i guess i don't have an issue with it. my husband dated a stripper he met at the strip club. they moved in together, and he found out she just loved to be naked. she would clean naked, cook naked, everything. after a while, the sexiness really wore off! he dumped her, and moved out.

i go with him sometimes, and we discuss who we think is pretty, who has the best body, etc. I wish he'd go more often. i love when he goes. he gets all turned on, comes home, and i reap the benefits. what's not to love! saves me the work!!

My former (women's barbershop) chorus was comprised of at least 50% strippers. My long standing quartet lead was a dancer. We thought nothing different of her than anyone else, and supported her decision. On the "side," she ran a horse farm, sang in a punk band with her chef husband, and was a great person.

My first thought is, "That's really expensive and a waste of money...."

Once and a while, fine....I personally wouldn't be ok with a SO going all the time. I've dated a few guys that have said its just a waste of money when they have a girl at home that will get naked for them for free and there's a happy ending :bigsmile:

What do you think of Men that frequent strip clubs? Let's say, Guy in question has friends that work at the club, friend's wives/SOs that work at the club. So he goes frequently, stating it's no different than any other bar...

Discuss. This is an honest question. I need an outside perspective to figure out my own feelings about it *LOL*

Eventually he will pay money for sex...or he already has. Unless he happens to have the strongest willpower on the planet.

I question the veracity of this statement.

I don't know what veracity means, but I question the exactitude! = )

Just 'cos you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. If your friend is worried, she should go with him and make a night of it. I have absolutely no problem because I know my husband is coming home to me.