Awesome Drunk Stories...

We used to invite our friends over after the club for more drinking and music... woke up one morning to find someone had taken a dump in the shower of my spare restroom. NOT COOL!
Even worse was having to clean that $h!t up!
To this day none of my friends will fess up as to who did it, needless to say.. we stopped inviting people to come over for after parties. LOL

Totally reminds me of when my sister in law, not admitting it at the time, peed in our clean laundry basket right in front of our bed... Seriously did not know she was that drunk lol. But man did our room smell funky in the morning... yuck!!!

Love these

PANTERA! Dying

Ummm I guess I should mention this was two years ago......I am an adult you know ;p LOL

I've loved reading these...

and I gotta say I don't remember enough of drunken times to tell stories.

Except this summer after comic con drinking rum back at my friends' hotel room and somehow losing my bf, while looking for someone else, and going floor to floor looking for him - stealing 'do not disturb' signs all the way. We found my bf back at his car, too drunk to do much but get sick and be argumentative. It went way too downhill from there to want to type that out.
Before that point was hilarious, tho.

Went out on the town, had too much to drink (prerequisite to having story like this). Taxi home and got out about 10 yards from my house. Next thing I remember is waking up in somebody's front garden about 400 yards further down the hill. I didn't wake up naturally actually, I was prodded awake by the police and given a nice free lift back to my house. Minus my mobile phone too, still to this day don't know where that ended up. No idea why i chose that garden instead of my house.

In the first year of our marriage my husband would go out on Friday nights with the partners from his firm and proceed to get tanked on Guinness as they paid the tab downtown. He felt that the 1 hour train ride home was enough to sober him up after 8-10 Guinness. One Friday night he came home and said let's go to bed. So we went into our bedroom and he proceed to fall asleep while I watched tv. I finally conked out at some time around midnight. I woke up around 3 a.m. needing to use the restroom so got up and did my business. As I came back into our bedroom I noticed my husband was not in bed. I called his name and looked on the side of the bed thinking he'd fallen off. NOPE. I go out the other door (we had an attached bath) and see if he went into the other bedroom or the rest of our apartment. NOPE! At this point I'm kind of freakin' out as he's NOWHERE to be found in the apartment. I go back into our bedroom and noticed that the sliding doors to our walk in closet are ajar. I go to the closet and open it up to see him NAKED leaning against the shelf. I ask him what he's doing and he says "NOTHING" and then goes back to bed. Suspicious of what was really going on I turn on the light and notice that the floor is all wet as is the pile of clothes waiting to be taken to the dry cleaners. I look up at the light and notice condensation around it. Mind you I'm 1/2 awake at this point. I tell him I think the upstairs apartment bathroom is leaking and I'm calling the maintenance number. I proceed to call and tell them what I think is going on. As I get off the phone my husband tells me to call them back and tell them I was wrong. I'm like NO, why should I do that? He then admits he was urinating in the closet. So I told him I wasn't going to call back maintenance, he would have to. So, he called them and said something to them so they wouldn't come out and disturb our neighbor. He then looks at our puppy and says to her "Daddy acted like a baby Sheltie tonight Harley, he's in the doghouse with Momma!" Needless to say, I made him clean it all up and take in the pee pee clothes to the cleaner! To this day he's not allowed to have more than 2 Guinness as he acts like an A** everytime he drinks a lot of it!

I lived with my dad in HS, he was a typical cowboy bar fly/brawler. His favorite thing to do on a Fri/Sat night was to get drunk, get laid and get in a fight (not necessairly in that order). As long as those were accomplished at some point during the weekend he considered it a successful weekend. I have a TON of stories of my dad and his drunken antics. This is my favorite one.... My dad was 46, approx 2-3 months before he passed away.

Once upon a time....I woke up one Sat morning and opened the front door to have my usual cup of coffee on the front "patio". It wasn't a REAL patio, my dad had got some used patio furniture and placed it under this huge pine tree in our front yard.

Anyhow, our neighbor from down the street (Leroy) was this very nice elderly man (70+). He lived w/ his daughter and son in law. That particular AM his truck was parked in our driveway. My dad's cowboy hat, cigarettes, lighter, etc...were scattered through the yard and driveway. I figured my dad caught a ride from Leroy and went *kitten* over tea-kettle in the driveway.

My dad wakes up about a half hour later, pours a cup of coffee and as he sits down next to me asks "What the hell is Leroy's truck doing here?" (Really, Dad?) So I told my dad I had no clue, that I woke up and it was there in the driveway! So my dad started "backtracking" and remembered that he bought Leroy a draught Bud Light @ the local bar and they had shared a few pitchers, blah, blah, blah....

Not long after my dad finished his backtracking I look down the street and I see poor ol' man Leroy standing on the sidewalk looking for his dam truck, walking across the street and scratching his head. My dad had to walk over there and tell him that he left the truck at our house.

It took them both about 45 minutes to put all the pieces together and figure out wtf happened the night before.

Apparently once they had closed the bar down, Leroy gave my dad a ride home - I suspect my dad invited him in for another beer (or 6) and when Leroy was ready to go home....he forgot he DROVE to the house from the bar. So he walked home (which was 3 houses down).

Needless to say, Leroy wasn't allowed to hang out with my dad after that. LOL

Good times!

bump to read later lol!!

My husband and a buddy of his were drinking crown royal and crown royal black along with jager bombs and a few other random drinks. He said he was sh*tfaced and to take him home. so we get home and hes staggering around the house to try to find the bedroom. Finally 10 mins later he makes his way to the bedroom sits down and says crap i gotta pee now so trying to get him he trips over a cord and falls and hits his ear on the corner of the way (which is still actually bruised) so he was so ticked that he fell he punished himself by running his head under hot water. I said honey arent you burning yourself he says no i cant even feel it i deserve to be burned. so i told him to come to bed so he makes his way back to the bedroom. as we walk in the door he looks up at a picture of a bull ( we have hanging in our room) and says "stand back baby i got him he wont hurt you" (referring to the bull) whips out his gun and tries to aim steadily at the bull pic i said what the hell are you doing he said im going to kill the bull so he doesnt eat us in our sleep. i then pulled his gun away from him and he passed out. next day had no recolection of the night. i thought it was hilarious.

While in college, a few friends and I decided to hit up a local fraternity house ..y'know.. to kinda keep the ball rolling after spending the last half-hour funneling beers back to back. We arrived and things were going...well normally I guess. There was dancing and all of that until I arrived in one of the rooms to find a friend of mines standing on the table---butt naked. I calmly tried to talk her down, only to have her reassure me that this was a common deal for her. I shrugged it off, but her boyfriend (who was present) was pretty upset.

Needless to say, my drunk tush was slightly embarrassed by the way they acted.. though now that I look back on it, I'm not sure why. In any case, I decided to leave.. without saying anything to the people I arrived with. Campus was only a block away, but the road was pitch dark, and I'd arrived at the frat house without a jacket (it was about 40 something degrees out), and a pair of house shoes (Heck it was a frat house, not the Ritz!). I stagger back on campus where I find my friend who worked in a freshman dorm at that time. The look on her face when I swung open the doors and schlepped my way inside was priceless. she graciously allowed me to sleep in the lobby until she got off at 5 a.m. and would then drop me off at my dorm.......

.Buuut the plans changed when halfway through, I awoke to two guys lifting me up and dragging me down the freshman stairs while MY friend protested. Apparently when I didn't come back to the dorm where I reside and when the people I'd left at the frat house returned home looking for me, it set off red flags for some other friends.. and so went a search party to find me. in any case, the entire next day, I had people knocking on my door and asking if I were alright.

Highlights:

I was at a bar with 2 levels to it, we were down stairs and in order to leave had to go upstairs. I refused. They insisted that I HAD TO, there was no other way out. I informed them that because of fire reg's there was so another exit, and they had to 'find it'. They finally convinced me to walk up the stairs and in the process we all almost fell down the stairs cause my friend had been given tequila, which turned her into a man hating b**** and she thought a guy had touched her. The bouncer sitting at the top of the stairs was laughing so hard he was crying.

Me an 2 of my friends were at ones apt drinking for a b'day. The b'day girl decided she needed a cake, but we were all to drunk to drive (my now ex husband was there as well) so we were going to walk. As we are walking out of the apt complex I'm going on and on about being arrested for being drunk in public, they were ignoring me. Right up til they saw a cop car. They turned around and we started walking back toward the apt as the cop pulls up beside us. He asked if we were ok or if we were 'just out walking' we assured him we were fine, he drove off, we ran into the apt, all 3 tackled my now ex having fits about how the cops were after us and we were going to jail an he had to hide us. By the time he convinced us to let him look out the window, there was no cop. To this day he thinks we were full of it. He and the soberest of the 3 of us (not me) went to the store (he was stone cold sober) and got a cake. They made it 'anatomically' correct using icing and a candle. A candle that would not go out and stay out. Trying to get the candle to go out: The b'day girl caught her hair on fire (flash fire, got mostly dead ends) spit on the candle, and I threw water on it (we'd been drinking clear rum. nobody saw me get water, they thought it was rum. they all screamed no as I threw it). We were making drinks with real strawberries. When it was my turn my now ex tried to get the knife away from me. The blade was at least 6 inches long. I whirled around and holding my knife up informed him that I could cut the strawberries. The b'day girl was sitting on her kitchen table, poking her legs saying she was numb. I hauled off and hit her as hard as I could. When she doubled over going OUCH ~ I chewed her out for lying about being numb. Poor girl had a bruise in the shape of my hand the next day. We had a cake fight. There was cake on her ceiling!! They called the maintance service at around 2 am cause the other girl was sleeping with the one that was on call and wanted to see him.

At the last co Christmas party I went to I got so drunk I couldnt walk without holding on to someone. They were doing 'dirty santa' and I insisted my SO pick a certain present. On the way home I was telling him how to drive as proof that I would have been fine to drive (uh no) When we got home I walked in and started stripping as I went thru the house. Puked 3 times before I got to bed. When I did get to bed the room was spinning so I put one hand and one foot on the wall (that doesnt work) While I was laying there, he got sick (from listening to me) so I called poison control (just fyi they will call back the next morning) I rounded that night out by having hysterics because I was SURE I had either embarresed him at the party, or gotten him fired.