When does the abuse stop?

richx83
richx83 Posts: 334 Member
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
I was out walking this evening and as a car drove passed one of the girls in it shouted fat ***** at me. This is not the first time this has happened in my life, 10 years ago i actually had a car stop in the street so that the people in it could shout abuse at me, it was shortly after this that i stopped going out and gained most of my weight.

I am at a point in my life now where I am trying to boost my confidence and start talking to girls, when things like this happen it does make me wonder if i should bother yet.

Anyone else had experience with abuse or bullying because of size?

Rich
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Replies

  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
    Wow, that is awful. If I were you I'd smile and wave at them. Totally throw them off.
    I'm so sorry people are such jackbutts.
  • bryan02
    bryan02 Posts: 29
    wow that is terrible.. where the heck do you live?
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    All I'm can contribute, Rich, is a shout out to stay strong. Don't let any jacka$$es ruin your confidence and drive to get healthy. Hang in there.

    Some people really suck.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    I'm sorry that really sucks. How old are these people? Not that age is any excuse but really.. I hope these are not adults or my faith in humanity will take another nosedive.
    Just keep doing what you're doing.
  • meshellmybell76
    meshellmybell76 Posts: 139 Member
    I am so so sorry that happened to you. Keep on keeping on. They will get theirs!
  • WickedMouse
    WickedMouse Posts: 343 Member
    The fact is, kids are cruel and mean. They probably have been yelling that at everyone they pass, overweight or not. Don't take it personal, and don't let them make you feel that way. In 10 years they will be on MFP trying to figure out if they should be eating their exercise Calories.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I think you should start carrying rotten eggs in a sack to throw at asshats like that.
  • ronda_gettinghealthy
    ronda_gettinghealthy Posts: 777 Member
    Wow that is terrible and totally uncalled for....just smile wave and say thank you and continue on... they are the ones who are really hurting to have to stoop to such a level for fun and enjoyment, how empty and sad their lives must be...
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    What happened says a great deal about them and virtually nothing about you. I have never witnessed this kind of behaviour in my life, so I don't imagine it is common, because I'm super old and I get around.

    I know it's difficult to not let things like this affect you, but you cannot let a group of unkind and presumably stupid people dictate how you feel about yourself.
  • heathera1980
    heathera1980 Posts: 58
    Do not let some stupid girl ruin your self-confidence! Consider the source...probably a teen who you shouldn't really care much about anyhow. The real ladies won't judge a book by it's cover. Keep on walking tall!
  • myshell26
    myshell26 Posts: 113
    Absolutely! When I first began trying to lose weight, I decided I would try to jog a little each day until I could go a mile. I had a car full of kids stop and tell me that I would give myself a black eye and start an earthquake if I didn't stop jogging. I haven't jogged outside since, but it didn't stop me from trying to lose weight. These people have to put other people down to hide their insecurities. We'll get the last laugh in the end though because we are going to stay the course and become healthy and helpful citizens. Kill them with kindness. : )
  • natticus55
    natticus55 Posts: 2
    I was walking home from Tesco the other day and a car full of guys shouted 'fat b****' out the window at me and im only a UK size 16!, needless to say i was really hurt and went home for a little cry. People that bully others have no confidence of their own and are pathetic, dont let it get you down because YOU are the better person.
  • JRMcCaghren
    JRMcCaghren Posts: 114
    Holy crap! I've moved about 6 times all over the U.S. and have been fat at every place, but never has this happened. If I had been there, I'd kick the *kitten* out of the car, but that's really not a good idea.
  • agentscully514
    agentscully514 Posts: 616 Member
    Who raised asshats like that? God, some people are truly horrid. I hope karma comes around and bites their *kitten* good.

    Sorry you had to deal with that. I know it all too well.
  • littlewrists
    littlewrists Posts: 25
    I'm 5'6, 118lbs and have a 24inch waist and I get called fat almost once a week. People are disgusting and love to bring others down.

    It helps me stay motivated, though, and remember that I'm not there yet.
  • Scarlett_S
    Scarlett_S Posts: 467 Member
    People suck. I am sorry that happened to you. Just keep in mind (and I know its hard) that people that would do something like that have to be internally messed up and severely lacking in true confidence. Don't let it keep you from your goals, as I can see you are doing well.

    After a certain time, things like that really won't bother you. Honestly - you'll feel so good about your goals, your health, and what you are doing, that you will just feel sorry for them.
  • cbbarge
    cbbarge Posts: 250 Member
    That's what middle fingers are for. The next time someone in a car yells insults at you use them liberally!
  • OSUalum
    OSUalum Posts: 449 Member
    It'll stop when people quit being A-holes. So just keep your chin up and remember you do not need to identify yourself by how others see you.
    Mean people suck. And they will always yell comments... whether about weight, height, hair color, appearance.....

    Because you care and show sensitivity, it shows what a great person you are. Never forget that.
  • AlyBelden
    AlyBelden Posts: 45
    I will never understand how people can say such things, especially to a stranger. It really just baffles me.

    As for you, remember that someone that would do something like that is a small person that is trying to make themselves feel better by putting others down. I know it is hard, but you need to take it and put it back on them, and feel sorry for them because they live such hateful lives. Maybe it would help if you make a list of some of the things you have accomplished and are proud of so you can pull it out and remind yourself if something like this happens.
  • grimms11208
    grimms11208 Posts: 146 Member
    I am so sorry this happened to you...not that I have been bullied in this way but my experience is that usually people like that are bitter, mean, and all around miserable themselves and they like to project their misery onto other people. Ignore their negativity and keep on doing what you are doing.
  • flea2449
    flea2449 Posts: 499 Member
    OMG! This makes me want to cry :cry:

    People are so MEAN! Please keep your head up and don't let this stop you from doing what you are doing. F**K them B**ches!!! I hope their tits fall off!!!:mad:
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    What happened says a great deal about them and virtually nothing about you. I have never witnessed this kind of behaviour in my life, so I don't imagine it is common, because I'm super old and I get around.

    Neither have I and I also get around.

    It's because we live in Canada.



    ....It's too cold to unroll car windows to shout abuse here.

    Also we are not a**holes. That helps too.
  • Angelabec
    Angelabec Posts: 505 Member
    I'm really sorry that you experienced that, I have had such things happen many times in the past, and I still feel fearful around crowds of people, especially teenagers, but the truth is, you are getting thinner, fitter, healthier, they are unlikely to ever get any less ignorant. Chin up & stay strong x
  • billtownsend
    billtownsend Posts: 75 Member
    I had a kid who was out selling Candy Bar's door to door, and I was out going out for a walk and he sarcasticly yelled acrosses the street at me, Buy my candy bars, you know you would reather do that than take a walk. Just made me want to walk more so I could lose the weight.
  • queenmedusa
    queenmedusa Posts: 247 Member
    Honey please try not to let this crap get to you. The kids round here'll call you you that if you chastise them from being idiots even when you're in your car (like when they run out in front of you, you shout at them to be more careful and they call you a fat cow - like they can even see!) Those kids want to upset you so don't give them the satisfaction - the power is yours to keep hold of, don't give it to them. You're striving to be a healthier happier you so don't let them take that away x
  • LadyGhostDuchess
    LadyGhostDuchess Posts: 894 Member
    Stay strong. People who decide to "down" others are insecure about the way they feel so they need to make others feel low to make themselves feel better. You are stronger than they are, remember that! You are an amazing person and on a mission. You have done an AMAZING job in losing weight, you can tell in your pictures that you have done a great job! I would not let it bother you. Remember, they are insecure and you are strong and powerful! Keep your head up and just ignore them.
  • mandycasey
    mandycasey Posts: 274 Member
    I have had comments like this in the past and still get the odd few now but i just ignore it now. In the past it did affect me alot. xx
  • hojo94
    hojo94 Posts: 140 Member
    How terrible. Don't let them get you down... use it as amo to go out there and work that much harder... some people are nothing short of jackholes that need slapped. Had I EVER went around in a car and yelled out stuff like that... my dad would have got a hold of me and I would have NEVER done it again.
  • cariec
    cariec Posts: 1
    Some people are really horrible and I can only imagine how unhappy their lives must be if they are compelled to make others feel bad. Just know that most people are not that cruel and keep moving forward. I believe that there are many more kind and supportive people out there than jerks.
  • mo1700
    mo1700 Posts: 78 Member
    Please don't let them stop you from talking to girls, they are showing their immaturity and the problem belongs to them not you, you really wouldn't want to talk to people like that and if you do start talking to girls hopefully when talking to them you will be making up your mind about them based on more than just their size, if they are worth anything then they will be doing the same, good luck with your journey and hold your head high - remember your worth it!
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