Going on a date while still legally married....Wrong?

You know, a good test of this new guy would be to go for coffee with him and enjoy the time. If he wants sex, tell him you're not comfortable doing that while you are still legally married. His response will tell you a LOT about him!

I may be biased since I went on a date while still legally married - but, it is okay in my book. The papers are signed. You aren't doing it in secret or behind his back -- the end of the marriage is imminent. I say go for it.

I personally wouldn't do it, but I think you should make the decision based on your own convictions. I would decided based on how you feel about it. You know if it will make you feel guilty or not. We can't tell you that.

As long as the new guy knows and doesn't mind being your rebound.

He isn't necessarily a rebound.

Not everyone who is at the end of a marriage and chooses to date someone else is "rebounding". I'm just telling you how it may be from someone who has been there, done that. Ain't no rebounding here!

I guess my question is....is this a coffee between friends or starting a dating relationship? Obviously you are grown and will be making your own choices but if you are asking the question I also wonder if you are torn about doing this.

In my honest opinion I would not go on a date with someone while legally married. I believe in the marriage commitment/contract and until it is legally broken I don't believe anyone should start anything new.

I think I'm the only one on here so far that disagrees with this but you are going to make your own choices. Personally, I don't believe it's right and I wouldn't do it.

I guess my question is....is this a coffee between friends or starting a dating relationship? Obviously you are grown and will be making your own choices but if you are asking the question I also wonder if you are torn about doing this.

In my honest opinion I would not go on a date with someone while legally married. I believe in the marriage commitment/contract and until it is legally broken I don't believe anyone should start anything new.

I think I'm the only one on here so far that disagrees with this but you are going to make your own choices. Personally, I don't believe it's right and I wouldn't do it.

I disagreed.

I personally don't think it's a good idea. I think waiting for divorce is a good idea. Not only can it have potential to cause you problems in the event that you divorce it's also the concept that we don't seem to stand for anything any more. Our children are seeing adults blur the lines of right and wrong every day. I think it's important to honor our commitments even if the commitment no longer is important to us. Promise I'm not picking on you. This is merely only my opinion and on here I'm obviously on my own but that's ok. I encourage you to write pro's and cons. I know it's all about the now but I think it's also something mabe (as hard as it would be) for you to talk to your husband and find some common ground if you can so things don't get sorted. It always starts out innocent but emotions are hard to control. Why put your self smack dab in the middle of a bullseye if you don't have to. Life is filled with enough chaos. I am sorry for your situation. Definatly not easy. Best of luck and may the wisdom you are in search of find you. Be blessed.:flowerforyou:

Im a very conservative person in my views ... and yet I see nothing wrong with this at all. The papers are signed, the relationship is over ... and you are waiting for the courts to catch up. If you were seperated but papers had not been signed then I would say I would be against it... but thats not your situation!

Good luck ... and I agree not necessarily rebounding ... just having a cup of coffee!

You've taken all the steps to finalise the divorce rather than waiting till someone comes along to give you a reason to do it so I wouldn't consider it a problem. On internet dating I'm always wary of people who are 'separated', I worry they haven't fully dealt with the past.

As long as the new guy knows and doesn't mind being your rebound.

He isn't necessarily a rebound.

Not everyone who is at the end of a marriage and chooses to date someone else is "rebounding". I'm just telling you how it may be from someone who has been there, done that. Ain't no rebounding here!

I also like the term band-aid. Yeah, as long as the guy knows and doesn't care. In the interest of full disclosure.....

It's just coffee .... and its therapy ...

I did it, too, but with a twist. My husband and I were separated, but still friends and living in the same house -- separate bedrooms. Okay, not everyone can do this, but we were buds and still got a long very well, even though there was no chance of remaining married. After some months of this I told him I wanted to start dating. He said okay as long as I didn't bring anyone to the house. I went on a few casual dates with some guys and then met someone I really liked. Once it got serious I moved out, got divorced a few years later, and then ten years later I married my "rebound guy". I was totally honest with both guys every step of the way and it worked out for everyone! So, coffee? Yeah, go for it, just be honest with everyone involved.

Lucy

Isn't that a Fran Drescher sitcom?