Say your 15 yr old daughter requests Birth Control
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I would say yes, i went on the pill when i was 15ish because of my cycles but like others said i would rather her using the pill and being safe than not on the pill and getting pregnant!0
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At 15 I went and got it from the Family clinic myself (I lied and said I was 16 to get it).
So if your daughter is asking for it, that's great or if she has opened up to you about it, that's even better.
I could never have talked to my mother about it!
Go with her.
You are better off keeping her from pregancy than feeling bad if it happens and you didn't take her for it!!!0 -
Now to the religious issue - having faith in God doesn't mean you can't be on the pill!
Nor does it mean that you should have 10 children because you don't want to take birth control.
There is no scripture in the Bible to back up the lack of support for birth control.
Some man came up with the idea that God doesn't want us on the pill and some people fell for that hook line and sinker.
It's unbiblical!
Falling pregant when you hadn't planned for it, must be an awful thing to live with, especially for a teenager.
So I think it's a great idea to get kids on the pill young - just in case something happens.0 -
Tell her to keep her legs shut until she finds someone she loves to do it with
Also cheerfully remind her she's not even legal so any boy who does venture into her Cave of Wonders will be hung and quartered by you....or charged with rape by the law0 -
Tell her to keep her legs shut until she finds someone she loves to do it with
Yeah, because this type of approach tends to keep teenagers from doing things. /eyeroll0 -
You know what is the most scary about this topic, is not that a 15 year old is asking for birth control. It's that ALL women could be denied access to birth control, even if just for non-pregnancy prevention purposes, if some of the conservatives in this country have their way. Fortunately Mississippi shot down their outrageous "personhood" bill. But there are others to come. It is not out of the realm of possibility that every woman will no longer be in charge of their own fertility. That is terrifying.0
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Tell her to keep her legs shut until she finds someone she loves to do it with
Yeah, because this type of approach tends to keep teenagers from doing things. /eyeroll
>I am a teenager
>I have teenage friends
>I have in fact told this to silly sluts before and it magically worked
>You are not a teenager0 -
>I am a teenager
>I have teenage friends
>I have in fact told this to silly sluts before and it magically worked
>You are not a teenager
Somehow I suspect the "silly sluts" you may have told this to felt the judgement oozing out of you, and simply stopped telling you anything. Teenagers are not all that hard to understand. But they have been rebelling against being informed what to do since the dawn of time.0 -
well im at the age of 18, and im struggling to understand why at that age anyone would even request it? :S
but i do rate her for asking you i know for a fact that i would die if that thought even crossed my mind if i asked my parents -_-..0 -
>I am a teenager
>I have teenage friends
>I have in fact told this to silly sluts before and it magically worked
>You are not a teenager
Yes, but I was once a teenager - not that long ago in fact - and I also have a 17-year-old brother.
I am also realistic, and just because it "worked" on those "silly sluts" doesn't mean that's how it always happens. If the whole "well keep your legs closed, you silly slut!" approach worked, we wouldn't have such an issue with teen pregnancy.
Also, I think it's the more mature option to discuss it openly. It takes a lot of guts for a 15-year-old to approach a parent asking for birth control, so just shutting her down like that might make her hesitant to approach a parent with personal problems again, which is not ideal.0 -
Good luck with that.Tell her to keep her legs shut until she finds someone she loves to do it with
Also cheerfully remind her she's not even legal so any boy who does venture into her Cave of Wonders will be hung and quartered by you....or charged with rape by the law
You can't control a sexually active kid. Yell at her all you want, but in the end, it's her decision. Telling her no is going to accomplish two things:
1) She will not discuss it with you again, even if she needs help
2) She is at risk for getting pregnant.
As for flinging around the word "rape" so easily, I won't comment on how offensive that is. But an underage boy is just that-underage.0 -
Very terrifying.You know what is the most scary about this topic, is not that a 15 year old is asking for birth control. It's that ALL women could be denied access to birth control, even if just for non-pregnancy prevention purposes, if some of the conservatives in this country have their way. Fortunately Mississippi shot down their outrageous "personhood" bill. But there are others to come. It is not out of the realm of possibility that every woman will no longer be in charge of their own fertility. That is terrifying.0 -
But some kids do. If your child asks you for birth control. putting your head in the sand about it isn't going to do anyone any favors.
Some kids don't.I am a parent and if my kid asked me for preservatives i'd be proud he's responsible enough to take his precautions.
Like it or not discovering your body is a part of growing up, and kids should be able to talk openly about it with their parents.
I really don't understand all the prudes that like to pretend like kids don't have sex, all you are going to end up with are STD-ridden teenage moms.0 -
I think it's funny how people think per-marital sex is something that's only been going on for the past 20 years or so. My mom had sex with my Dad before they got married in 1954.0
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i think this goes back to personal responsibility.
kids need to know that there are consequences for their actions. they need to realize that if they want to go around having unprocted sex then they run the risk of getting pregnant and STDs.
You play you pay.
My husband and I are at odds on this subject though. I say yes to the pill but my husband feels like that is giving her permission to get it on. We stress abstinence abstinence abstinence. However, i know what its like to be a hormonal teenager. We have a tiny bit of time to come to an agreement on this one.0 -
Parenting about sex must begin way before 15 and it is rather foolish to think that the pill or condoms are going to make up for waiting this long. Personal responsibility and being a parent instead of a pal works no matter if birth control is provided or not. Simply providing contraception to a 15 year old and assuming that they will use it is ludacris. If they can be pressured into wrong choices then that includes the use of birth control. That's another way for them to belong to the great 99 percent.0
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I'd get them for her and have a long talk about love and respecting yourself and choosing the right person and blah blah. I don't know why people get so freaked out about their teenagers having sex. They do it all the time. I was 16 when I lost my virginity and it didn't turn me into a prostitute. In fact he was one of only two people I've ever slept with. You're raising a person... Not a toy.0
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i think this goes back to personal responsibility.
kids need to know that there are consequences for their actions. they need to realize that if they want to go around having unprocted sex then they run the risk of getting pregnant and STDs.
You play you pay.
My husband and I are at odds on this subject though. I say yes to the pill but my husband feels like that is giving her permission to get it on. We stress abstinence abstinence abstinence. However, i know what its like to be a hormonal teenager. We have a tiny bit of time to come to an agreement on this one.
You may want to say to your husband that your children won't wait for your permission to have sex. Did you? Did he? Does any teen?
I said it before, I'll say it again. "Just say no" is ineffective and I view it as lazy parenting. How many of us have told our kids not to touch something, how often do they do it anyway? Now change that child to a teenager and give them raging hormones. MAYBE they won't have sex.. yes it's possible. But it's a really huge risk you're taking with your child's life based on some ideology.
You want to stress abstinence, that's cool. But denying them the tools they need that actually work to prevent pregnancy and disease... well I don't have a very good opinion of that.0 -
Ok pumpkins you're all getting a cheeky bit wound up off one little line
Personally I think 'keep your legs shut' is fine advice
Its simple
It gets to the point
Even so, that wasn't even the whole point of my comment
I did say words later about doing it with someone you love
That's the more important part
Teaching the kiddy about respect and love and waiting
And of course mentioning STD's so as well as the pill she gonna need a condom
Naturally if she's gonna go ahead and do it anyway the best thing is to supply birth control to avoid accidents, and to make sure she's well informed
I'd chit chat with her anyway about if its the right thing do to, instead of flinging some birth control at her and devil take the hindemost
Telling her she can do it with anyone as long as she's protected is the wrong attitude I think.
She needs to make sure she's ready instead of opening her legs at will
Now another point, they were being silly sluts
That's not me being judgemental
That's me pointing out its wrong to lose your virginity in a game of spin the bottle/drunk after taking cocaine off strangers and then proceeding to do it with as many people as possible in a short time limit/doing it with strangers in club toilets
They are two real life examples
Everyone *****footed around them because they didn't wanna 'hurt feelings' until finally after three pregnancy scares, one abortion and 4 STDs I spoke sharply and bluntly to them and pointed out they were gonna end up getting murdered by these strangers one day. The words 'shut your legs' were also used. They were offended, but also stopped. You might say 'maybe they didn't trust you anymore cos you were mean' but actually they still shared intimate details with me regularly.
And one final point
Don't be stupid
I'm not throwing around the word 'rape'
I'm pointing out the law
If someone has sex with a minor it IS classed as rape
That's not me being insensitive to those who have actually been raped, that was just an emphasis on my point
Although many laws are pretty bogus I think the no sex before 16 is fine, because teenagers are not yet mature enough, and some may not even be physically developed.
It all depends on the girl in question for when she is ready , but make sure you explain its a pretty big step and just don't waste it0 -
It's best to avoid a car accident. But we still wear seat belts every time we get in a car.0
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I have 4 daughters, okay, so they are 7, 6, 3, and 2, and one 11 year old stepson, I have talked to my stepson bout sex and asked him to please be smart and at least hold out till he is 16 or 17. I know I can't stop them from having sex, but I can at least talk HIM into waiting until he is more mature and maybe more grown so that in case he is a slow grower, the condoms will fit him properly. My daughters, I would advise against having sex young , I waited till I was 18, and if they wanted birth control, I would rather go with them and help them do that than have them come home one day when they"re 16 and tell me that I'm gonna be a grandma who will end up taking care of my grandchild because my daughter is still in school.0
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I haven't read all the comments, but the ones I have make me think; what ever happened to teaching abstinence?
I'm a father of three young daughters. Even now I'm working on having a strong enough relationship with them that they feel comfortable enough to talk to me about these things.
No, I'm not so naive to think that just because I encourage abstinence means it's going go happen. If they are open with me and did ask, I'm not sure what I would (will) say. Even now, at least one of my girls is prone to doing whatever 'feels' right, rather than what is right.
I dunno. I'll have to think about it, but it sucks that I don't have much time.
I have absolutely no problem teaching abstinence and I agree I'd rather my child not have sex young or even before marriage (not for moral reasons, but because sex is such a heavy thing). But as I've said, and I think is the sentiment of most of the people here, if your kid wants to do it, despite your best efforts at discouraging, it's better to make sure that kid doesn't pay for that decision for the rest of his or her life.0 -
OKay, well imagine she is seeing an 18 year old boy, he is legal, she isn't. Hello, that's statutory rape, it isn't throwing around the word rape, it's true. I agree with the other comment0
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Tell her to keep her legs shut until she finds someone she loves to do it with
Yeah, because this type of approach tends to keep teenagers from doing things. /eyeroll
>I am a teenager
>I have teenage friends
>I have in fact told this to silly sluts before and it magically worked
>You are not a teenager
And none of us who are no longer teenager have ever been teenagers or raised teenagers and certainly have no idea what it's like to be a teenager.
I'm glad this approach worked for you. It may work for others. It will not work for all.0 -
I'd get them for her and have a long talk about love and respecting yourself and choosing the right person and blah blah. I don't know why people get so freaked out about their teenagers having sex. They do it all the time. I was 16 when I lost my virginity and it didn't turn me into a prostitute. In fact he was one of only two people I've ever slept with. You're raising a person... Not a toy.
I tend to agree with this.0 -
It's best to avoid a car accident. But we still wear seat belts every time we get in a car.
Nope! I teach my children that they have to be on constant guard when they drive. I feel like if I told them to use seatbelts I'd be telling them it's ok to get in a car accident. I'm raising them to be good drivers. "Keep your eyes on the road!" I tell them. Whatever happened to raising kids to drive well? I have taught them the rules of the road and if they choose not to follow them that's their fault. I won't be paying for any accidents.
I'm hoping if they ever decide to get in a car accident they come and ask my permission first. We're very open with each other.
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I'd get them for her and have a long talk about love and respecting yourself and choosing the right person and blah blah. I don't know why people get so freaked out about their teenagers having sex. They do it all the time. I was 16 when I lost my virginity and it didn't turn me into a prostitute. In fact he was one of only two people I've ever slept with. You're raising a person... Not a toy.
I tend to agree with this.0 -
You are raising a child very quickly approaching becoming an adult. They aren't there yet. Talk to them as the most precious treasure that you will ever have , not laying down the law to cause the rebellious nature that we all remember inside of us , but as a loving parent who has been there. You as a parent mold your child's worldview. If you abdicate that role then they will fill the void with " if it feels good just do it" . We teach our children not to play in the street. Our answer is not to put up walls to keep the cars out of the street so our children can play. Tragically children do get hit by cars. Tragically teenagers do engage in sex before they are emotionally able to deal with all that comes with it. Adults treat it as recreation but we as parents should be able to talk to our children in a way that doesn't promote this superficial approach to life.0
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So having sex as a teenager is the same thing as getting hit by a car? Well, I certainly hope my kids never see it that way!0
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So having sex as a teenager is the same thing as getting hit by a car? Well, I certainly hope my kids never see it that way!
I saw it as an appropriate comparison, for the purposes of protecting your children.
And if I can remember back to my teens there are a few other similarities...
It happens when you least expect it
You're surprised and scared
It's over in a second... 0
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