Say your 15 yr old daughter requests Birth Control

godblessourhome

i personally would say no to birth control and make sure SHE KNOWS how to put a condom on correctly (why would you leave it up to the guy to know?).

birth control messes with the body's hormones too much and can have grave consequences later. just because birth control has become the go-to drug for controlling pregnancy does not mean it is safe for a growing, developing child's body. women have different hormone to perform difference functions in the body and a mono-cyclic birth control pill is counter-intuitive to lasting hormone health. there has been a rise is 'unexplained infertility' in the last couple of decades and i wonder if there isn't a connection. also birth control is not effective if she is on certain medications for a cold or if she forgets and skips a day. i believe condoms are the better option for young girls.

i would also talk about abstinence and trying to wait for marriage. and i would send her to talk to my sister-in-law (who was on the pill) and brother who got pregnant at 15 and 16, respectively. have them talk about how hard school, sports and a social life was with a kid. they were lucky and stayed together (actually not so much luck as hard work). most kids don't.

rml_16

I would get them for her, discuss all of the side effects, etc. of the pill and also have the "birds and the bees" talk with her and let her know I am available for her to talk to me if she has any questions. Maybe also some websites or something she can get more information from if needed.

I had just turned 16 when I started birth control pills, which I am happy I did. They are NOT effectively immediately. Sometimes it can take up to 3 months for your body to properly respond and become 99.9% effective, so I think it's better to start sooner rather than later.
(this is coming from a 22 year old without any children, but from experience as I was a teenager not too long ago )

Actually, the pill is effective against pregnancy after one full week. It sometimes takes your body three months to adjust to the hormones and not make you feel like you have morning sickness, etc.

I was told differently back in the day, but regardless, it's tell a precautionary measure that should be taken, in my opinion.

And NO, just because she is asking for birth control pills does not necessarily mean they are sexually active. She might just be being proactive or know that the time will come eventually. I was not yet sexually active when I started mine.

If a doctor told you that, he or she needs to go back to medical school. If it came from someone else, then it's probably not reliable info.

If you're on the pill, you should have read the insert that comes with it and educated yourself on it. Not that there's anything wrong with using additional BC, just that you should know all you can about any medication you put into your body.

I was on the pill longer than you've probably been having a period. :-)

DizzieLittleLifter

I had my daughter when I was 17. I was in total denial that "people like me" (upper middle class family, professional parents and grandparents, honor roll student, didn't drink or do drugs, etc.) didn't get pregnant in high school.

If my daughter felt she needed it, I would help her get it, while also talking about diseases and things like that so she would also use condoms and be smart about sex. You can't stop your kids from having sex if they want to do it, but you can assist them in making sure that one not-so-great decision doesn't impact the rest of their lives.

Agree. As much as we want our children to stay children; they do grow up to become sexual beings. I'd much rather my child be protected then to live in denial. Along with BC comes the talk of responsibility and safety. It's ugly, but necessary. All this being said I am very strict with my kids and the chances that either of them will be alone with a boy are very very slim. 3:)

*Also wanted to point out that I've only taken BC pills for 3 months of my life for Endo and I hated every second of it. I do not like putting drugs into my body.

Jewcybabe

Listen to her.......communicate with her.......educate her.........make an appointment to the ob/gyn to discuss options......AND give her condoms!~

LisaKyle11

i have two teenage daughters at the moment (another getting close = tween)....

we talk about sex and they are aware that i fully expect them to eventually have sex. it's completely normal. i talked to them about my first experience, age, etc... i have always intended on being open about this sort of thing -- because it's going to happen anyway.

i am fine with putting my daughters on birth control at/around 15 if it's something they need/request.

i have also made it very clear, that i do no intend on raising another baby!! :noway:

Bonita_Lynne_58

We also used to marry our daughters off at 13 or 14 years old (if not sooner -- Henry VII's mom was 12 when he was born), often to 40-year-old men. Maybe we should just go back to that.

If you think teens weren't having sex 40 or 50 or 60 years ago, look up adoption stats from those eras.

I heart you for this. People might not have been keeping them or advertising their pregnancies but they were certainly having sex & babies out of wedlock.

I'm 53 and this is about my great uncle and his wives/children so you can surmise how long ago it was.

Uncle P's first wife gave birth to 3 of his children. For whatever reason she was not happy when she became pregnant again. While he was working the fields along with the kids she used a piece of wire and attempted to abort the baby, she bled out and when they returned to the house they found her dead. He remarried and no more children.

Of his 3 kids one was a girl. At this time there was no reliable bc. She got pregnant out of "wedlock". He kicked her out and never saw her again. He lived to be very old and to regret his actions.

Kids were having sex outside of marriage then, and still are. In my opinion....I'll protect my child by giving her the tools to protect herself.

mgmlap

My oldest is 15..almost 16 and my youngest is 12. I think if your daughter asks for BC...a conversation is needed. I know my daughter is not sexually active..nor is she thinking about it..I know most of you think I am naive..

Some background..she was adopted at 10..and knew what life was like. Her bio mom had 9 children..first one at 14. She made the decision to stay pure for marriage..and we do everything to help her accomplish her goal. She is the first child counting the oldest 6,,,that will be 16 and not have a child, not be pregnant...and still be a virgin.

I think open communication is key with your children..they want it more than you know. I am also a youth partner at our church..and the biggest complaint I get is that parents dont talk to their children...they lecture...

My daughter has irregular periods..and like one of the posters said..she took BC at this age for health reasons. I am one of those parents who is over-educated..and plan to go down every avenue...before even thinking of giving my kid BC...Its a band-aid..doesnt solve the main issue..

rml_16

My oldest is 15..almost 16 and my youngest is 12. I think if your daughter asks for BC...a conversation is needed. I know my daughter is not sexually active..nor is she thinking about it..I know most of you think I am naive..

Some background..she was adopted at 10..and knew what life was like. Her bio mom had 9 children..first one at 14. She made the decision to stay pure for marriage..and we do everything to help her accomplish her goal. She is the first child counting the oldest 6,,,that will be 16 and not have a child, not be pregnant...and still be a virgin.

I think open communication is key with your children..they want it more than you know. I am also a youth partner at our church..and the biggest complaint I get is that parents dont talk to their children...they lecture...

My daughter has irregular periods..and like one of the posters said..she took BC at this age for health reasons. I am one of those parents who is over-educated..and plan to go down every avenue...before even thinking of giving my kid BC...Its a band-aid..doesnt solve the main issue..

I don't think you're naive. Some kids really don't do it or want to. Most of my friends waited at least until college and I know for an absolute fact my daughter isn't doing it.

I think a big part of WHY she hasn't done it is because she's grown up with a mother who had a baby in high school and the reality of the consequences is so in her face. We've talked about it. Other adults in her life have talked to her about it. Sex has never been made a dirty or wrong thing to her, just something with consequences that she has decided she doesn't want to risk.

It's been one of my biggest fears all these years that she would follow my footsteps, but I was already a month and a half pregnant by the time I was the age she is now, so she's already gotten over that hump. Woo hoo! lol

On the other hand, while I know now she isn't having sex, it would not have shocked me if she had. I know it happens and could have happened with her. I think there's a difference between denial and knowledge.

MissO﹠A

I'd do just as my mother did: make a doctor's appointment and get her on the pill.

angelapangela82

Education! When I was a kid me and a friend were caught playing with matches. His mom set us down and showed us pictures of burn victims and dead burnt children. This was all I needed to be convinced that playing with matches and lighters is a very horrible idea. Kids don't really think about consequences the way adults do and often have the mentality of "this won't happen to me". My daughter is only 4 but when that day comes I will sit her down and discuss pregnancy and stds and how boys lie and top it off with a slide show of close ups of crowning babies, genital warts and herpe blisters; only then will I provide her with condoms.

starwhisperer

no I won't provide birth control. She is welcome to head down to the local planned parenthood and get some prescribed herself. When she thinks she is old enough and wise enough to bump no nos then she better think she is old enough to take responsibility for her own actions. She is 12 now, and I am super open with her, any questions she has I will answer any advice she needs I will give. I will also make it pretty spectacularly clear that I won't be raising a grandbaby. So if she decides she is adult and ends up with baby in tow then that is exactly what she will have is a baby in tow. I am not her friend. I am her parent. I also won't take her to get a tattoo when she is 16 despite the fact that I am a huge fan of tattoos. My job is to raise her with the smarts and intelligence to make life decisions, and I can only hope I have done so. I am not naive I had her at 19 and am well aware of how libido works, and aware that we don't always follow our parents advice. But I am not going to then turn from what I believe and say... but if you can't be bothered to live the lifestyle we have raised you to believe is right... well then here is a back up plan. I agree with the person above me about pictures and education. I will be doing lots of that too.

TheRoadDog

Every one of my daughters when on Birth Controlas soon as they sex became a possibility. With my blessing and at my request. I wasn't condoning sex, and, in fact, I proved to be the most effective form of birth control during their teenaged years.

The reality is that kids are going to be "experimenting". I can't predict when it would happen with each individual girl, but I could increase the odds that they wouldn't be making plans, or worse, scrapping plans, because of unplanned pregnancies.

When they have children is a decision I want them to make, not one to be forced upon them.

sexforjaffacakes

At the end of the day, there's nothing wrong with having sex as long as you're ready, comfortable and being safe. A lot of parents have the attitude that teenagers having sex is as bad underage drinking a smoking, but thats really an old fashioned idea going back to the old days when you weren't meant to have sex until marriage. I don't know ANYONE that waited until marriage. I think people need to stop talking about teenage sex as if it were just kids being bad, because when practiced safely and between people that care about each other, it should be enjoyable, intimate, a good way of expressing feelings and most importantly it doesn't harm anyone.
I know that I could speak to my mum about birth control etc, although in the UK we get a lot of sex education in school so we don't really need the awkward parent chat (we can also get BC from doctors without them telling our parents) and there's generally a lot of support and advice and information out there. My mum told me when I was younger that she REFUSED to be one of those parents who raises their teenage daughter's baby while the daughter goes off and completes school etc, and I've always kept this in mind. Also, as a young teenager, I was forbidden to have sex "under her roof", so in her way she wasn't condoning me having sex, but she also knew I was being sensible about it and never tried to tell me to come off the pill or throw out my condoms. When I was 16 (age of legal consent in the UK) I was allowed to stay at my boyfriends house, and When I turned 18 I was allowed boys to sleep in my bed, so I think I had a good balance of "I'm not going to try and stop you but at the same time I'm not saying underage sex is okay"
The only thing I regret is that I never spoke to her asbout it, because I was too embarassed. I definately regret losing my virginity when I did, because I had my first boyfriend and everyone else was doing it. I have always, always, always practised safe sex though, and I thank the NHS and Scottish school system for that!

Only thing I would say though, sex is very overglamourised in TV/magazines etc, and in the media in general, with internet and magazines and tv shows as graphic as they are I think it makes young people think sex really is that casual. A tv show with a good balance is suprisingly "gossip girl", as it shows the teenagers having sex and enjoying themselves but really focuses on the emotional issues behind virginity and the differences in casual sex and doing it with someone you love.

This has really just become a bit of a ramble so I'll tie it up by saying - if your kid comes to you for contraception you should be glad they can talk to you, talk to them about safe sex, alternatives to penatatrive sex and the emotions behind sex, your own feelings about it, but essentially if they're going to do it they're going to do it, it's a part of growing up which is hrd for parents, but they can't remain little kids forever, ensuring that they are prepared if they choose to go ahead at least means they'll be teenagers longer and not "young parents", aged before their time.

april_beth

id be so happy that she came to me and actually listened to me when i said you can talk to me about anything. of course, this means we would have an awesome relationship prior. id set her up with an OB and have more talks with her because she is going to have sex with or without protection and id rather she have the pill and make sure i talked to her about still using condoms as there are too many diseases out there so to be sure.

XFitMojoMom

id be so happy that she came to me and actually listened to me when i said you can talk to me about anything. of course, this means we would have an awesome relationship prior. id set her up with an OB and have more talks with her because she is going to have sex with or without protection and id rather she have the pill and make sure i talked to her about still using condoms as there are too many diseases out there so to be sure.

^^ABSOLUTELY... I have two young daughters and I only hope they will feel like they can talk to me about anything!
Better a 15 year old taking precautions than a pregnant 15 year old.

starwhisperer

waiting till marriage is outdated? No one waits anymore? This is as close minded a view point as thinking your teen won't be silly enough to give in. My sister waited till marriage, my brother is a 21 year old virgin by choice, my best friends 26 year old sister just got married last month to a man who at 28 had been saving himself for her. It isn't outdated just because it doesn't fit into your view point. If I could go back and not have sex with the idiots I had sex with before i met my husband I sure as heck would. What a waste of my physical and emotional time.

CMmrsfloyd

waiting till marriage is outdated? No one waits anymore? This is as close minded a view point as thinking your teen won't be silly enough to give in. My sister waited till marriage, my brother is a 21 year old virgin by choice, my best friends 26 year old sister just got married last month to a man who at 28 had been saving himself for her. It isn't outdated just because it doesn't fit into your view point. If I could go back and not have sex with the idiots I had sex with before i met my husband I sure as heck would. What a waste of my physical and emotional time.

Some do but some don't, and kids may or may not take the route suggested by their parents. I did not wait for marriage but I did wait for the man I knew I was going to marry (and I chose to wait until I wasn't a teenager b/c I was terrified of becoming a statistic). There are so many situations that young people end up in where they have to make sudden decisions and may not decide the way they thought they would. I'm sure many of us can recall situations where we did things we knew weren't a good idea but they seemed okay in the moment.

I think it's great to teach morals and values (and religion if that happens to be part of it, although just b/c someone supports abstinence does not necessarily mean they are religious) - many people do stick with their morals so it's a good starting point for your kids to figure out what they believe is important. However, on the off chance that what is important to you may not end up so important to them, or in the case of them maybe having that 'in the moment' decision making experience that many of us know all too well, I think it's important to educate them on all the various options available, risks, pros and cons, everything. You can stress your moral values but still give the education just in case. :-) And hey even for those that believe that kids are going to have sex regardless, it's still worth talking to your kids about abstinence being a valid option if they choose it. Give them all the info and all the options, teach what's important to you as a parent and then hope for the best. And keep the lines of communication open so they can come to you with questions or concerns.

kimletton11

I would say that the parent/daughter communication is very good. I was 16 when I went on BC but mine was for health reasons. Being raised in a very strict religious home my parents encouraged me to abstain. However, my mom is not stupid. I began dating a guy (he was 19) soon after I turned 16 and about a year and a half later we became active and my mom knew everything that was going on during the entire relationship. My mom and I are very close and to this day she and I can talk about pregnancy, STD's, etc. Most of my friends have kids, I am one of the only ones that don't. I blame this on the fact that they were not able to talk to their parents about BC and practicing safe sex. My sister will be 16 in a month and a half and I know the time is coming and she will ask (although I hope she chooses to abstain). We talk about BC and condoms a lot and I make sure she knows what a big responsibility having sex is. When I have children and my daughter gets to be a teenager, I hope that our relationship is open enough to where she is able to come to me and ask me for BC then I would sit her down and ask her why she wants it. I most likely would make an appointment to talk with her doctor and we would go from there.

mscoco10

i say if they request it then you should get it. make sure you have real open talks about sex and everything that comes long with it. preventing pregancy is 1 thing but you should also remind your children about STDS. if you can be open and honest then your child will make the best choice.

deeharley

waiting till marriage is outdated? No one waits anymore? This is as close minded a view point as thinking your teen won't be silly enough to give in. My sister waited till marriage, my brother is a 21 year old virgin by choice, my best friends 26 year old sister just got married last month to a man who at 28 had been saving himself for her. It isn't outdated just because it doesn't fit into your view point. If I could go back and not have sex with the idiots I had sex with before i met my husband I sure as heck would. What a waste of my physical and emotional time.

^^This. I get so tired of people telling me that since sex before marriage is no longer frowned upon by society, then I should assume my children are going to have it before they get married. Those people are as close-minded as I am. I will say that if you start talking to your children about dating, sex, modesty, marriage, and anything else that seems to be a "teenage" issue, when they are teenagers, then you are waiting too long.