Say your 15 yr old daughter requests Birth Control

k2quiere

All of my friends that like to pretend that they can mold their children's behavior through denial, got grandkids real early.

THIS^^^ When i had a miscarriage at 16, my mom's response, while I was hemorrhaging was "Have you and (insert BF's name) been doing something you shouldn't have been doing?" Really mom?? Brilliant!

Yakisoba

All of my friends that like to pretend that they can mold their children's behavior through denial, got grandkids real early.

THIS^^^ When i had a miscarriage at 16, my mom's response, while I was hemorrhaging was "Have you and (insert BF's name) been doing something you shouldn't have been doing?" Really mom?? Brilliant!

._. Good job, mom.

sunnyzephyr

I am not a parent, but I am a daughter and a teenager. And I would say, from a daughters perspective, that most girls are afraid to ask and will revert to unsafe alternatives. So what i would prefer, is for my parents to suggest it (for reasons like period, acne etc) so that the girls doesn't have to ask, but still doesn't get the impression that sex is "okay." Although so much of it depends on how you raise your daughter and what you have taught them about that subject.

sunnyzephyr

My boyfriends Grandmother "doesn't believe in birth control." All 4 of her children had babies out of wedlock, two had babies when they were teenagers, and one had an abortion.

rml_16

must point out that if she is needing the pill for unsex related purposes that is completely different. Irregular painful periods or acne are a totally different issue. If that was what the question was about then heck yeah I will let her take the pill... for that matter I also got her the HPV shot... why? Because I am not stupid I know that she might have premarital sex.

So ... you're taking precautions against an STD, but you won't take precautions against pregnancy?

That makes sense.

MrsSpratt

All of my friends that like to pretend that they can mold their children's behavior through denial, got grandkids real early.

THIS^^^ When i had a miscarriage at 16, my mom's response, while I was hemorrhaging was "Have you and (insert BF's name) been doing something you shouldn't have been doing?" Really mom?? Brilliant!

Wow. That's amazingly shiitty.

And I agree with you: "Mom, I want to go on birth control" shouldn't be the first time the topic comes up.

Deathwithab

most people i know were put on the pill right after they got there period , its not going to make them into any different of a person just because they are on the pill, if you raise you child with knowing about sex and the consiquences and such early then theres good chance they wont get knocked up or just give it away .

calibri

I was 14 when I began taking birth control. Besides regulating my cycle, my father (yes, my FATHER took me to the gynecologist to get birth control) would much rather I be smart and prepared if I decided to start having sex as a teenager and realized there was no way he could keep me from doing it if I wanted to.

yoshi91610

i'm not a parent either, but my concern would be that if she's on birth control, then guys could easily talk themselves out of using a condom. too many std's for that.

edited to add: i think i would prefer my daughter to come home pregnant than to contract aids.

not trying to start a fight, but this needs to be pointed out that your daughter could very well come home pregnant WITH an std.

I think that shows responsibilty and reminds me that I need to have a very serious long conversation with my daughter, first telling her I am proud that she is responsible enough to tell me she wants birth control, but also inform her of all the various diseases that the pill doesn't protect you against, and then all the emotional complications that come along with sex and how it should not be a decision made quickly.

Improvised

I am a parent and if my kid asked me for preservatives i'd be proud he's responsible enough to take his precautions.

Like it or not discovering your body is a part of growing up, and kids should be able to talk openly about it with their parents.

I really don't understand all the prudes that like to pretend like kids don't have sex, all you are going to end up with are STD-ridden teenage moms.

Some kids don't.

clh126

[I am sorry but that Dr that suggested Depo for "regulating" a GROWING teenager's cycle needs to have his license suspended and revoked ASAP.

That is wrong on so many levels.

Do you not realize that by your daughters not having a cycle every 3 months you are putting them at HIGH risk for Uterian Cancer at a VERY YOUNG AGE?

Very strong opinions! Unfortunately, the science does not back them up. It is well known that progestins in many contraceptives (including depo!) have a protective effect on endometrial cancer (endometrium is the lining of your uterus). Here is one of the earlier studies on depo and endometrial cancer: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=1831802 and here is the classic birth control pill and endometrial cancer study: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=3027423 The protective effect is due to decreased proliferation of your uterine lining, the sloughing of which is what causes the bleeding when you have your period. Thus, fewer menstrual cycles are believed to be a protective factor in endometrial cancer risk.

EVERY woman should have a menstrual cycle at least 1 time every 3 months - no exceptions.

It is actually thought that the increased menstrual frequency women experience in modern times puts us at greater risk for certain gynecologic cancers. In not such a distant past, women spent much of their time pregnant or breastfeeding and thus experienced many fewer menstrual cycles over their lifetime than we do today. Interestingly, the period that you get while you are on oral contraceptives is actually an artificial menstrual cycle induced by withdrawal of the hormones when you take the sugar pills in the pack that are hormone-free (if you have the kind with 3 weeks of pills and 1 week of reminder pills). It was designed that way because when the pill was created, it was believed that women would be more comfortable taking contraception if they still got their period....and from this conversation, maybe they were right! Here's one of the articles discussing continuous contraception and cessation of periods since it's becoming much more common for people to skip the sugar pills and just use the 3 week packs back to back....or use seasonale or some other continuous pill type to have fewer or no periods. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=17937570

Depo screws up women's hormones and many times supresses the hormones to the point of making many women infertile...........One day when YOU want to be a grandmother you may be faced with what YOU and this Dr decided for your daughters.

Depo does not cause infertility. This is absolutely false. However, some people experience a delay in return to fertility of up to 18 months.

Someone also mentioned the risk of decreased bone density. There have been studies showing a decrease in bone density, but also some that have shown that your bone density levels rebound after cessation of depo use. The jury is still out though and that uncertainty was enough to make me stop taking it! Here is one of the studies looking at bone density in adolescent depo users if you're interested. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=15699307

halphord

I was 15 when I asked my mom to get me on the pill. My mom was mortified, but cared about me enough to allow me to have them. While I am not proud of all of my choices at that age, I am glad that I was smart enough to get on the pill, other wise I may have been 16 and pregnant!

yoshi91610

Also my mom spoke to me very openly about sex/children, her own problems with a possible S.T.D and I know it wasn't comfortable for her, but she told me about it because she couldn't go to her mom. My sister, who my mom went to planned parenthood with and got her on birth control, still ended up pregnant and dropping out of high school, sometimes that is all a parent can do.

christine24t

I would be happy that she felt comfortable enough with me to ask for it. I would encourage her to wait to have sex, but I wouldn't stop her from getting it. I'd rather have her be safe than have children.

quixoticmantis

If I had a daughter -

Pat her on the back and give it to her.

Better her be open about herself than knocked up.

3GKnight

I haven't read all the comments, but the ones I have make me think; what ever happened to teaching abstinence?

I'm a father of three young daughters. Even now I'm working on having a strong enough relationship with them that they feel comfortable enough to talk to me about these things.

No, I'm not so naive to think that just because I encourage abstinence means it's going go happen. If they are open with me and did ask, I'm not sure what I would (will) say. Even now, at least one of my girls is prone to doing whatever 'feels' right, rather than what is right.

I dunno. I'll have to think about it, but it sucks that I don't have much time.

kayleeblue

Wow!! what a thread...Wake Up People!! As a parent we need to talk to our kids at a Very young age...we raised our boys in the country with a variety of different animals..when these animals started breeding and the boys had questions we answered them..and took it from there. My boys knew everything about sex and stds at a very young age. No they can't get pregnant..but they can get more then one at a time pregnant, not to mention STDs. They had access to condoms at a very young age...When they started dating, the last words as they went out the door "I'm not ready to be a grandma yet!" Our conversations and relationship is so open that they talked to me about who, when and where they lost their virginity! My boys are almost 21 and 19...TALK TO YOU KIDS..BEFORE IT'S TO LATE!! It's never to early....I was 13 my first time!,,I also married him at 24 and had my first child at 26 years old..Good Luck!

calibri

I haven't read all the comments, but the ones I have make me think; what ever happened to teaching abstinence?

Do you mean abstinence in addition to comprehensive sex education or just "don't do it"? I think abstinence being included in 'the talk" would be somewhat of a given. After all, what's the basic decision tree for most choices: to do it or not.

ADTeachTX

Not to muddle up this topic with religion but I often wonder how I would handle this situation if I were a parent. I don't believe in the pill or anything other birth control because of my faith but I also know the importance of insuring a child's safety and well being. I work as a teacher and work with students who are 15 and pregnant all the time. About 50+% of my female students have a baby already. I know that this is a serious issue and there are many different schools of thought on this. I don't know if the time comes...follow my head or my heart?

mrsdauer

i have a step daughter that is 12, she's been on the pill for a year (due to heavy bleeding, terrible cramps, etc) i also have not read ever comment on here, BUT just wanted to add, is this a possible issue, along with acne???

the pill is not used only for prevention of pregnancy....

we have had "the talk" with my step daughter about "being on the pill doesnt mean you have rights to have sex, its for medical reasons". i also was on the pill at age 12 for the same thing...
i think it is VERY important to expalin what the pill is for, what happens if you miss a dose...some girls think they can take it here and there and things will be fine...NOT TRUE.
education is going to be best, since most kids have sex, just "because".... i work in the medical field and see this all the time. Girls also know that they can take the pill so they dont get periods (more time for sex), they can also get another pill, if they "forgot" to take the birth control, had sex, and "might" be pregnant....

its a tough thing to deal with, but talk talk talk, and talk some more, answer questions, ask questions, and let her know that you are there for her, you maybe dont agree with things, but to be honest.....


good luck

branflake5

YES! Be thankful she asked before it was too late (and that she can talk to you about it).

this ^^
I have a 16 almost 17 yr old daughter and we are very close we talk about everything and she comes to me about any and everything. Fortunately she is not ready for this yet and her boyfriend lives in another state but when she is ready she is comfortable to let me know. I was a teen mom and so was my mom and her mom too... I am breaking the cycle by having an open relationship with my kids that I did not have.

sunnyzephyr

Not to muddle up this topic with religion but I often wonder how I would handle this situation if I were a parent. I don't believe in the pill or anything other birth control because of my faith but I also know the importance of insuring a child's safety and well being. I work as a teacher and work with students who are 15 and pregnant all the time. About 50+% of my female students have a baby already. I know that this is a serious issue and there are many different schools of thought on this. I don't know if the time comes...follow my head or my heart?

I commented earlier about my boyfriends grandmother. She is a religious woman who also does not believe in birth control. All four of her children had babies out of wedlock, 2 when they were teenagers, one of which had an abortion. Not saying that this is bound to happen, but it did happen in her family.

Kslice39

The biggest thing would be to talk about it. I never had a good open relationship with my mom and I still don't an it makes me very sad. I was always jealous of my friends who could go to their mom about anything! I would give ANYTHING to have had a relationship like that with my mom. I'm am going to break that cycle with my children. I am a vey open person and I am going to talkto my kids about everything(I have 1 son right now and he's turning 2 in December lol). I want my children to be comfortable in knowing that they can come to me for anything! My mom never even spoke about sex to me or even talked to me about my period before I started it!(I was terrified!) lol. I want my children to be prepared, as much as I can help them with, for life. I would he very proud of my daughte if she came to me with an issue like this. It's better to be safe than sorry. I was a teen mom(had my son when I was 19) because I didn't know, I was uneducated about sex and proper birh control use. I live my son more than anything, he is my world, but I don't want the same thing to happen to him. They are going to have sex whether you help them with birth control or not, it's the reality of the situation(cuz that's what I did!) so I would go with her to get the b/c and meet her boyfriend and explain sex to her and tell her to do it when SHE feels ready not because her man wants her to.

_Ben

Working in a pharmacy, the number one thing I will point out is, birth control is not always for preventing pregnancy. For many, its regulating cycles, so that you have a consistent period.

abellante_0205

i was on the pill when i was 13 and it was not about being sexual active, my periods were irregular and my sister thought that (shes a ob/gyn doctor) if I tried birth control in the care of one of her colleague that my periods would become more regular. I am no longer on birth control because of my blood pressure, but my periods come more natural than they did when i was 13 -- I would have my periods 2x a year and thats it and they were painful.

micls

If my 15 year old daughter asked my for this I'd be happy for a few reasons:

1) She's comfortable enough with me to talk about sex which means we have a good relationship
2) She's smart enough to know to use birth control.

Obviously I wouldn't be delighted she's having sex/thinking about it, but I'd prefer it to the alternative of not telling me! I hope to have a good relationship, where sex can be discussed, I can explain the benefits of waiting and being sure, and she can ask questions. I'd also make sure she was well educated about STD's.

If they're asking for the pill, then their decision is already made, and they'll be having sex whether you get it for them or not. It's important to make sure all of this is discussed long before that point.

Lack of education is the main cause of teen pregnancy and spread of STD's.

daffodilsoup

Praise her! If more teens were as comfortable and responsible as she is, maybe unwanted teen pregnancies wouldn't be such a problem. Then put her right on birth control.

While it can be a scary issue for parents/a sign that your children aren't so little anymore, kids these days are having sex younger and younger, and it's better to be protected and mature about it. Plus, the parent can use this as an "excuse" to have a deep, adult conversation about sex with their children - like about how BC doesn't protect the user from STDs. Use it as an opportunity to have a good conversation and strengthen your relationship with your teen.

People "don't teach" abstinence anymore because it simply doesn't work. Saying "no" and not supporting a teen in this decision isn't going to stop her from having sex - it's going to make her go behind your back.

micls

Abstinence only sex education=more teen pregnancies.
Abstinence as part of overall well balanced sex education is great.

However, if they're at the point of asking for birth control, I think the abstinence 'training' hasn't worked.

Waiting for marriage means nothing to me. I never saw the reason for it and still don't. However, personally I wanted to wait until I was an adult. My mom got pregnant with me at 17 and I didn't want that to happen. I was 18 my first time and it was not a decision taken lightly. I was with my boyfriend a year at that stage, and now 8 years later we will get married next July. I was on the pill (gotten with my mom) and we used condoms also. Both of us were virgins at the time

Would there be any benefit of me having waited for marriage? Not in the slightest. Also, there's no way I'd marry someone without knowing if we were sexually compatible!

Did my parents have much influence over me waiting? No, not really. In a way they did in that I had no intention of being a teenage parent like them, but I certainly didn't wait out of fear of them or their reaction. I waited because that felt right for me, I was well educated, and knew what I wanted and the decision always was completely in my hands.

pixardad

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!

She's almost 3 years old and all I see is the sweet little smile with a single dimple holding her arms up for her daddy! I *refuse* to think about any of that right now!

As me again in 12 years.

--PixadDad

P.S. I need sweets....

xSophia19

Well i got pregnant at the age of 13, was in a rough relationship with a 17 year old, and i was forced into it he threatend to kill me and my family and my brother who was 4 years old at the time! Unfortunatley i got pregnant.. When my mum found out, she hit the roof with me!! (as any mother would at that age!) i went threw abortion because of personal reasons.

Soo if my 15 year old daughter was to ask to go on the pill i would let her, because i know how it felt for my mum when she found out i got pregnant at 13, and thats the last thing i want to go threw with my kids!

Everyone has different views on the pill, but i wouldnt want to go down the same road again with my kids