Say your 15 yr old daughter requests Birth Control

dandrews010

You say "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."

It really bums me out that so many kids are growing up these days with parents who take the easy way out with this PC nonsense that "You can't control what your kids do." It's your job as a parent to control what they do. Parents who know how to make their kids live in fear of the consequences of screwing up don't generally have to deal with teen pregnancies, drug use, etc. You can't roll over and say "Well, they're going to do what they want, so I'll just make sure they're prepared." Fight for them every day, even if they hate you for it sometimes.

You sound like an absolute nightmare. I think children who aren't scared to be honest with their parents are much much less likely to end up pregnant, addicted to drugs, etc. Try and control your children and they will rebel.
Its your job, especially at 15, to guide your children more than control.

Your fighting against the left so much you have gone a million miles right. Which is worse than the option your fighting against. Balance the two surely?

Iamfit4life

Some really great answers in this thread so far, this pleases me.

ThePhoenixRose

i would be inclined to get it for her, also having (another) conversation about sex, safety, the option to say no, etc. I'd also make sure SHE had condoms. I'm concerned for her safety, and if she is contemplating sex, she needs to know she's in control of her body, and that she doesn't have to rely on a boy for condoms. It's not one or the other, it's both. ALWAYS.

livnlite

That, my friends, is the slipperiest slope there is. Teenage sexual activity has been around since the beginning of time, and so has teenage pregnancies ... however, it has taken on life of it's own in today's modern society. Virginity is not as protected or revered as it once was. Kids are having sex, quite openly and it's almost as natural as learning to ride their first bicycle.

This, I feel is due, collectively, to the waining family values we all see dissipating. Parents are allowing their kids to 'grow' up on their own way too much. It is tougher for working parents to 'pay attention' and spend the time needed to monitor and mentor their kids, because they are too busy working to pay off the non essentials we all seem to aspire to have, which leaves less and less time to spend on mentoring. Teaching your kids the skills they will need as adults is exhausting work...it takes years of tenacity.

There are fewer and fewer parents that keep tabs on their kids, or spend the time to monitor their kids friends, or their activities. Granted, we can't be with our kids every waking moment. But, before they get to THAT stage, they 'should' have a good sense of their own identity and self worth, so they don't have to do things they may feel they need to do to 'just fit in' with their peers or impress ANYONE.

Keep a close eye on your kids, converse, educate .. never .. and I mean NEVER let go. Be their parents .. not their friends. You can be friend-ly .. but keep a handle on the boundaries expected.

My 'kids' are in their 30's .. and we are VERY close .. almost like best friends. We like each other, we do stuff together, we confide in each other .. but their are still very clear and present boundaries. Now that they are adults, there is an unexpected twist .. Sometimes, our roles get reversed, surprisingly .. Where if we are doing something we shouldn't be .. We find ourselves standing with a bowed head, while they rip a strip off us.

True story ... Hubby and I, were out with some friends (this was probably about 20 years ago, when my daughter still lived at home, I'm thinking she was about 15 yrs old) . We had a few drinks, or should I say, a lot of drinks ... and I drove home. I know, I know ... STUPID STUPID STUPID!!! I was met at the door .. by my daughter .. with Hands on Hips and received a "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING???????" Ohhh my goodness, did she reem me out. She was thoroughly disgusted in me .. and a that moment .. so was I. I NEVER did THAT again .. NEVER! Mind you I rarely drink at all anymore, especially if I'm driving.

That event stuck with me .. and it slapped me in the face. All those times, we talked about drinking and driving .. and what to do .. and went and did THIS myself! Ohhh, WHAT AN IDIOT I WAS .. But, the consolation was .. I learned my daughter was actually listening to all those conversations we had. I was elated to know how disgusted she was, and how responsible she will be. Made me feel like we were successful as her parents,

foodfight247

In my view I would rather have a sensible 15 yr old daughter than one that was irresponsible and pregnant at a very young age.

BigDaddyBRC

Take her to a doctor that shoots it straight like I did. and tell her no.

BrettPGH

Also if I could slip in a plug we have a group called Debatable Debating where we discuss this sort of thing all the time. Feel free to sign up!

Roni_M

I have two daughters (21 & 18). I was 16 when I got pregnant for my oldest. At 13 each of my girls were put on the pill. I told them it would help regulate their TOM and help with acne and the birth control was just an added bonus.

Teenagers with hormones raging are likely to think of going on the pill after they start being sexually active. Most don't have that much forethought or self control to plan ahead a minimum of 30 days for the pill to become effective. You also have to keep mind even in a close parent/child relationship it's still generally a conversation they find embarrassing and may put off until it's too late.

I have always been open with my girls and told them the pill was not enough to protect them. I knew when my oldest was sexually active because suddenly having her pills filled on time and taking them religiously became important to her. With my youngest, she actually did let me know when she thought she would "go further" with her long time boyfriend.

My motto is "better safe then sorry" and would rather have it right there and available for them to use. I think most kids would make better decisions if they didn't feel they needed to "have that talk" with their parents. Just my personal opinion though!

Pangea250

I first explain to her why she is too young to be having sex. Then we go get her birth control. Very simple.

I've already had this talk with my 16 year old son. (I think) he is not sexually active. But it doesn't really matter what I think. I have told him how to buy condoms. I have told him that if he is too embarassed to buy them, I will do it for him. No questions asked, none at all.

ninerbuff

You say "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."

It really bums me out that so many kids are growing up these days with parents who take the easy way out with this PC nonsense that "You can't control what your kids do." It's your job as a parent to control what they do. Parents who know how to make their kids live in fear of the consequences of screwing up don't generally have to deal with teen pregnancies, drug use, etc. You can't roll over and say "Well, they're going to do what they want, so I'll just make sure they're prepared." Fight for them every day, even if they hate you for it sometimes.

Lol, classic response from a Texan. Now all we need is to offer the death penalty if they rebel.

WarriorMom2012

Also if I could slip in a plug we have a group called Debatable Debating where we discuss this sort of thing all the time. Feel free to sign up!

Nice plug Brett!

Please join us to discuss the pro's and con's of teenage sex lol

rml_16

That, my friends, is the slipperiest slope there is. Teenage sexual activity has been around since the beginning of time, and so has teenage pregnancies ... however, it has taken on life of it's own in today's modern society. Virginity is not as protected or revered as it once was. Kids are having sex, quite openly and it's almost as natural as learning to ride their first bicycle.

This, I feel is due, collectively, to the waining family values we all see dissipating. Parents are allowing their kids to 'grow' up on their own way too much. It is tougher for working parents to 'pay attention' and spend the time needed to monitor and mentor their kids, because they are too busy working to pay off the non essentials we all seem to aspire to have, which leave less and less time to be spent on mentoring. Teaching your kids the skills they will need as adults is exhausting work...it takes years of tenacity.

There are fewer and fewer parents that keep tabs on their kids, or spend the time to monitor their kids friends, or their activities. Granted, we can't be with our kids every waking moment. But, before they get to THAT stage, they 'should' have a good sense of their own identity and self worth, so they don't have to do things they may feel they need to do to 'just fit in' with their peers or impress ANYONE.

Keep a close eye on your kids, converse, educate .. never .. and I mean NEVER let go. Be their parents .. not their friends. You can be friend-ly .. but keep a handle on the boundries expected.

My 'kids' are in their 30's .. and we are VERY close .. almost like best friends. We like each other, we do stuff together, we confide in each other .. but their are still very clear and present boundaries. Now that they are adults, there is an unexpected twist .. Sometimes, our roles get reversed, surprisingly .. Where if we are doing something we shouldn't be .. We find ourselves standing with a bowed head, which they rip a strip off us.

True story ... Hubby and I, were out with some friends (this was probably about 20 years ago, when my daughter still lived at home, I'm thinking she was about 15 yrs old) . We had a few drinks, or should I say, a lot of drinks ... and I drove home. I know, I know ... STUPID STUPID STUPID!!! I was met at the door .. by my daughter .. with Hands on Hips and received a "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING???????" Ohhh my goodness, did she reem me out. She was thoroughly discusted in me .. and a that moment .. so was I. I NEVER did THAT again .. NEVER! Mind you I rarely drink at all anymore, especially if I'm driving.

That event stuck with me .. and it slapped me in the face. All those times, we talked about drinkng and driving .. and what to do .. and went and did THIS myself! Ohhh, WHAT AN IDIOT I WAS .. But, the consellation was .. I learned my daughter was actually listening to all those converstions we had. I was elated to know how discusted she was, and how responsible she will be. Made me feel like we were successful as her parents,

We also used to marry our daughters off at 13 or 14 years old (if not sooner -- Henry VII's mom was 12 when he was born), often to 40-year-old men. Maybe we should just go back to that.

If you think teens weren't having sex 40 or 50 or 60 years ago, look up adoption stats from those eras.

Pangea250

you get her the pill. and then on the way home, you stop at the grocery store. you buy a bunch of bananas and a family sized box of contoms. you then sit at the table at home and teach her how to properly put on a condom.

I'm trying to figure out if "family-sized box of condoms" is an oxymoron or not. I'll have to think on that.

When I had the condom talk with my son, I was fully prepared to go the banana route. Thank *goodness* that when I quizzed him sufficiently, I was content that he had learned how to apply a condom in health class. Phew. I would have done it, though. I may have been mortified on the inside, but the health and well-being of my children is worth some mortification any day of the week.

eellis2000

My daughter is now 22. When she turned 14 I scheduled a visit with a gyn. who presented her with options and a little education. She chose to use the patch. She has no kids and no std's. That method gave me peace of mind, gave her the feeling like it was her choice, and allowed her to make an informed decision about what form of bc to use.

Secret_Agent_007

Not an ideal situation, but I prefer having my 15-year old on the pill than come home pregnant!

^^^^ THIS!

beccyleigh

We also used to marry our daughters off at 13 or 14 years old (if not sooner -- Henry VII's mom was 12 when he was born), often to 40-year-old men. Maybe we should just go back to that.

If you think teens weren't having sex 40 or 50 or 60 years ago, look up adoption stats from those eras.

I heart you for this. People might not have been keeping them or advertising their pregnancies but they were certainly having sex & babies out of wedlock.

rml_16

We also used to marry our daughters off at 13 or 14 years old (if not sooner -- Henry VII's mom was 12 when he was born), often to 40-year-old men. Maybe we should just go back to that.

If you think teens weren't having sex 40 or 50 or 60 years ago, look up adoption stats from those eras.

I heart you for this. People might not have been keeping them or advertising their pregnancies but they were certainly having sex & babies out of wedlock.

I read a book a few months ago called Only Yesterday (can't remember the subtitle). It was a history of the 1920s, but published in 1931, so it was very contemporary by a historian who lived it. The stuff he described would curl the toes of the 1960s hippies! lol

HeatherShrinking

You say "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."

It really bums me out that so many kids are growing up these days with parents who take the easy way out with this PC nonsense that "You can't control what your kids do." It's your job as a parent to control what they do. Parents who know how to make their kids live in fear of the consequences of screwing up don't generally have to deal with teen pregnancies, drug use, etc. You can't roll over and say "Well, they're going to do what they want, so I'll just make sure they're prepared." Fight for them every day, even if they hate you for it sometimes.

So, you'd threaten to kill them and hope they live in constant fear? I'm sorry, but I completely disagree with your methods.

You can teach kids about consequences, respecting themselves and good decision making without threatening death and instilling a constant state of fear. There is a big difference between having open lines of communication vs. rolling over and saying "they're going to do what they want."

(Side note: I think you are using the term PC incorrectly. Generally, politically correct applies to using safe terminology instead of terms that are derogatory. Did you actually mean a type of thinking, like liberal or conservative?)

livnlite

That, my friends, is the slipperiest slope there is. Teenage sexual activity has been around since the beginning of time, and so has teenage pregnancies ... however, it has taken on life of it's own in today's modern society. Virginity is not as protected or revered as it once was. Kids are having sex, quite openly and it's almost as natural as learning to ride their first bicycle.

This, I feel is due, collectively, to the waining family values we all see dissipating. Parents are allowing their kids to 'grow' up on their own way too much. It is tougher for working parents to 'pay attention' and spend the time needed to monitor and mentor their kids, because they are too busy working to pay off the non essentials we all seem to aspire to have, which leave less and less time to be spent on mentoring. Teaching your kids the skills they will need as adults is exhausting work...it takes years of tenacity.

There are fewer and fewer parents that keep tabs on their kids, or spend the time to monitor their kids friends, or their activities. Granted, we can't be with our kids every waking moment. But, before they get to THAT stage, they 'should' have a good sense of their own identity and self worth, so they don't have to do things they may feel they need to do to 'just fit in' with their peers or impress ANYONE.

Keep a close eye on your kids, converse, educate .. never .. and I mean NEVER let go. Be their parents .. not their friends. You can be friend-ly .. but keep a handle on the boundries expected.

My 'kids' are in their 30's .. and we are VERY close .. almost like best friends. We like each other, we do stuff together, we confide in each other .. but their are still very clear and present boundaries. Now that they are adults, there is an unexpected twist .. Sometimes, our roles get reversed, surprisingly .. Where if we are doing something we shouldn't be .. We find ourselves standing with a bowed head, which they rip a strip off us.

True story ... Hubby and I, were out with some friends (this was probably about 20 years ago, when my daughter still lived at home, I'm thinking she was about 15 yrs old) . We had a few drinks, or should I say, a lot of drinks ... and I drove home. I know, I know ... STUPID STUPID STUPID!!! I was met at the door .. by my daughter .. with Hands on Hips and received a "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING???????" Ohhh my goodness, did she reem me out. She was thoroughly disgusted in me .. and a that moment .. so was I. I NEVER did THAT again .. NEVER! Mind you I rarely drink at all anymore, especially if I'm driving.

That event stuck with me .. and it slapped me in the face. All those times, we talked about drinking and driving .. and what to do .. and went and did THIS myself! Ohhh, WHAT AN IDIOT I WAS .. But, the consolation was .. I learned my daughter was actually listening to all those conversations we had. I was elated to know how disgusted she was, and how responsible she will be. Made me feel like we were successful as her parents,

We also used to marry our daughters off at 13 or 14 years old (if not sooner -- Henry VII's mom was 12 when he was born), often to 40-year-old men. Maybe we should just go back to that.

If you think teens weren't having sex 40 or 50 or 60 years ago, look up adoption stats from those eras.

Never said teens weren't having sex .. In fact, I think I mentioned that "Teenage sexual activity has been around since the beginning of time, and so has teenage pregnancies".

Back in those years you mentioned, girls (and, for that matter all people) were treated much differently, and were often forced to do things they might not have wanted to do so their families would have favour with Royalty. Back in those barbaric days, there were definite boundaries between 'classes' of people. No one was in a safe place. Royalty was law.

No one said NO to the King. It was not as much a matter of choice as it was a matter of survival. "*kitten*" (a term I personally dislike to use) children were only one of those consequences if you conceded, poverty and starvation (or worse, treason) was the other if you didn't. A sense of duty to the hierarchy was overpowering.

Times back in this century were still different than they are now. Back then, people had a sense of old fashioned values and virginity was revered and promiscuity was not. Didn't prevent promiscuity, it was just hidden better. The difference now, sexuality in youngsters is so open and almost expected. The sense of 'duty' has been completely obliterated. There is no stopping it, and further no need to hide it.

Contrarian

If a 15 year old is asking for birth control, she is either already having intercourse or has done everything else and is about to start having intercourse.

Protecting your kids is your job as a parent, but you don't get to choose what you have to protect them from, and when. I would rather my child not get pregnant before she is ready to be a parent.