Say your 15 yr old daughter requests Birth Control

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  • FaugHorn
    FaugHorn Posts: 1,060 Member
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    I had a friend who made a deal with her dad...if she would wait to have sex until she got married, he would buy her a new car. It worked too!!

    I don't know, sounds like a way for your kids to marry at 18, not much of a better suggestion. Rather they have responsible sex and not get married until they were done growing up and changing, finished with school, etc.
  • coloradocami
    coloradocami Posts: 368 Member
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    YES! Be thankful she asked before it was too late (and that she can talk to you about it).

    This would be a time to communicate not turn away from her. I would say "that is a brave 15 year old".
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    You say "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."

    It really bums me out that so many kids are growing up these days with parents who take the easy way out with this PC nonsense that "You can't control what your kids do." It's your job as a parent to control what they do. Parents who know how to make their kids live in fear of the consequences of screwing up don't generally have to deal with teen pregnancies, drug use, etc. You can't roll over and say "Well, they're going to do what they want, so I'll just make sure they're prepared." Fight for them every day, even if they hate you for it sometimes.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
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    I went on birth control at age 15 because I was having a ridiculously difficult time with my cycle. I didn't actually start needing the birth control aspect until I was 19 and engaged. So... I wouldn't necessarily jump to conclusions.

    But I would rather my child come to me with those things anyway. I'm going to stress the fact that I would prefer they abstain, but I'm still going to teach them about safe sex. I'm already talking to them little by little about how our bodies work, and we use the correct terminology for body parts, so that when the time comes to have these discussions it's not such a foreign and uncomfortable concept.

    Think about it: wouldn't you rather she came to you and asked you about birth control, rather than listening to locker room urban legends and trying to figure it out on her own, and then ending up pregnant because her boyfriend told her he was sterile because he was on the swimming team and chlorine kills sperm?
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    Not gonna lie.... mild panic struck when I read this and realized my oldest will be here before I know it! eek!
    YES! Be thankful she asked before it was too late (and that she can talk to you about it).

    But this is where I fall too. Hopefully youve had open enough communication about life and sex well before she even gets to the point of doing so. Id get her the pills.... with a long conversation attached about respecting her body, stds, etc....
  • brigitte101
    brigitte101 Posts: 25
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    there are other reasons why a 15 year old goes on birth control besides sex. My neice was having a real hard time with her periods. they were never regular and when she did have them she would be in bed the first 2 days with real bad cramps (which meant she missed school). Her docter recommened a low dose birth control and it help alot. Another reason is there is some birth control pills that help with acne.
  • thamre
    thamre Posts: 642 Member
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    I had a friend who made a deal with her dad...if she would wait to have sex until she got married, he would buy her a new car. It worked too!!

    I am going to try this one...:laugh:
  • Bosbes
    Bosbes Posts: 55 Member
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    That will be a long time from now, I´m not a mother yet.
    I would talk with her about different kinds of birth control and also about intimacy, sex and love... About discovering you body, about respect and boundaries. And I would be proud, because she takes responsibility and she feels she can talk with me.
    I don´t expect it would be a big deal.

    I really don´t understand people that say they would be angry. And I also don´t understand people who are afraid this will keep them from using a condom. You should use both. This is what causes teen pregnancy.
  • Jill_newimprovedversion
    Jill_newimprovedversion Posts: 988 Member
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    Since you asked, I'll answer:

    I would not provide it for her.
    I couldn't STOP my girls from crossing lines that are drawn, but I'm not crossing it with them- much less paying for it and
    stamping my approval over it.

    I continue to teach her she is a strong, wonderful young woman with PLENTY of SELF-CONTROL
    It is NOT inevitable- She can be taught to handle her emotions and hormones

    just the same way we are learning to control our with our weight loss journey.
  • raw_sugar
    raw_sugar Posts: 87
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    I'd be on the phone with her doctor to make an appt and if the risks were low (we have a family history of problems with the Pill) I'd have her on it right away, since like others have mentioned, if they're coming to you, there's a good chance they already need it or are thinking of it. There'd be a long talk of condoms and std's as well (providing I haven't already covered all that).

    I plan on having a lot of talks about delaying sex but it's true if they've made up their mind, the best you can hope for is that they are smart and protected about it.
  • WarriorMom2012
    WarriorMom2012 Posts: 621 Member
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    This happened to me with my daughter but she was 14. I thought I'd been very proactive in discussing sex with my daughter. She ended up having sex a month before her 15th birthday. Although, she used protection, she was still scared of getting pregnant so she came to me and admitted what she'd done.

    We went to the gynocologist and had her tested thoroughly and put on the pill. She understands that neither the pill nor condoms are 100% effective and although I agreed to put her on the pill I was not condoning sex at 15.

    She is 17 now and has not had sex since. I think an open honest relationship with your child is key.

    Besides, I so do not want to be a grandmother yet!!
  • Sepheara
    Sepheara Posts: 208 Member
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    I started birth control when I was 16 (I am 23 now). My grandmother made me go on it when I started dating, I thought it was super lame at the time, but looking back, and looking at how many teenage moms there are right now I am glad she did it.

    The fact that she is asking you for it, shows that she is educated, and trying to be smart about her relationship. Make sure she understands that birth control doesn't prevent STDs, you need a rubber for that.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
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    When I was 15, I was getting serious with a boy and my mom heard 'wind' through the rumor mill that we had done something. She didn't care...she took me and got me on the pill. I believe we were getting close to...but not there yet, so I didn't care of the whole occurance. I ended up dating him until I was 20...so really, it was the best thing she ever did. I was really too embarrassed to ask her about it, even though we were very close. She had me at age 16, so her reaction was understandable.

    If it were my daughter I'd have no problem taking her to get on BC. I'd be happy she was open with me about it and not sneaking around doing it behind my back. Furthermore, from there I would pound it in her HEAD the importance of safe sex!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    You say "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."

    It really bums me out that so many kids are growing up these days with parents who take the easy way out with this PC nonsense that "You can't control what your kids do." It's your job as a parent to control what they do. Parents who know how to make their kids live in fear of the consequences of screwing up don't generally have to deal with teen pregnancies, drug use, etc. You can't roll over and say "Well, they're going to do what they want, so I'll just make sure they're prepared." Fight for them every day, even if they hate you for it sometimes.

    I'd really love to see you stop a teenager who wants to have sex from having sex.
  • MayMaydoesntrun
    MayMaydoesntrun Posts: 805 Member
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    OK, as a parent, nobody wants to THINK about their child doing the deed. But come on. Some will do it anyway, no matter what you've taught them, no matter what you've told them. Because it feels good and they have no control to stop once it gets that far. That said, I'd rush her *kitten* to the doctor and get her on the pill AND make sure she understands about STD's. Just MY opinion.
  • oberon0124
    oberon0124 Posts: 10,527 Member
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    I would be proud that she was that smart and that she trusted me enough to ask me that question. I would though stress to her the importance of the decision she was about to make. That is an awful big move for a fifteen year old to make. I know it is done day after day but I would stress the importance of it anyway.
  • ninjapixie87
    ninjapixie87 Posts: 124 Member
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    It depends on whether SHE requested it, or her DOCTOR recommended it.

    I wish my mother had let me go on birth control for medical reasons. Instead, I had to wait until I was 18 and in college, so I could get it without her permission/knowledge. It was probably the best decision I've made for my body and my sanity.

    That being said, I wouldn't want my 15yr old daughter getting pregnant. But I wouldn't want to condone or enable sexual activity at 15, either. It would be a tough decision, and would involve some serious conversations.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Nope. But only because there's better things out there that I trust. My daughter will be getting one of those implants that prevent pregnancy for years. I trust that more than I trust a teenager remembering to take a pill.

    Refusing to give your kids the tools to make decisions on their own doesn't stop them from making decisions on their own. It just makes them ill prepared. I won't do that to my little girl.
  • dandrews010
    dandrews010 Posts: 253 Member
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    Chances are if she is asking for it then she had a long term (ish) boyfriend and/or is responsible enough to ask for it in the first place. I'd give it to her. That doesn't mean I would actively encourage her to have sex though.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Since you asked, I'll answer:

    I would not provide it for her.
    I couldn't STOP my girls from crossing lines that are drawn, but I'm not crossing it with them- much less paying for it and
    stamping my approval over it.

    I continue to teach her she is a strong, wonderful young woman with PLENTY of SELF-CONTROL
    It is NOT inevitable- She can be taught to handle her emotions and hormones

    just the same way we are learning to control our with our weight loss journey.
    And if she doesn't practice that self-control and comes home pregnant? Are you going to kick her out?

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