Say your 15 yr old daughter requests Birth Control

beccyleigh

If she is asking then she knows she needs it. Not agreeing is irresponsible parenting. As for her catching an STD, well that's up to your parenting skills too. Educating your kids on sex, stds & the consequences is a parents major responsibility.

Kids will do it no matter what their parents want, say or threaten them with, better to accept that fact & educate & protect them.

As for making a deal with your father - no sex in exchange for a new car, well sorry but to me that sounds like one very f-ed up father/daughter relationship. ick.nast.

suzycreamcheese

id sit her down, have a big talk about how she felt about sex and hoping that she wasnt being pressurised, then id feel grateful that she felt she could talk to me, and i would take her to get the pill. Id also make sue she knew she had to use condoms

Lauren8239

I have a 15 year old daughter. If she asked for it, I'd let her. We are very open regarding sex talk as well. We've discussed that because she is severely allergic to latex, when the time comes we will have to explore other options regarding std's. I just hope that out there somewhere are latex free condoms.

TheDoctor90

Doesn't really matter what you think of your kids getting contraception.
A Doctor can (and rightfully) provide contraception - condoms, the pill, without informing or requiring the consent of the parent.

foremant86

This happened to me with my daughter but she was 14. I thought I'd been very proactive in discussing sex with my daughter. She ended up having sex a month before her 15th birthday. Although, she used protection, she was still scared of getting pregnant so she came to me and admitted what she'd done.

We went to the gynocologist and had her tested thoroughly and put on the pill. She understands that neither the pill nor condoms are 100% effective and although I agreed to put her on the pill I was not condoning sex at 15.

She is 17 now and has not had sex since. I think an open honest relationship with your child is key.

Besides, I so do not want to be a grandmother yet!!

^^ This.

Majority of teens are going to have sex whether you want them to or not and whether you get them the birth control/condoms or not.

Being up front and honest with your kid about sex, the risks, protection, etc. is the only way to ensure that they don't get std's and or pregnant.

ajbeans

You say "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."

It really bums me out that so many kids are growing up these days with parents who take the easy way out with this PC nonsense that "You can't control what your kids do." It's your job as a parent to control what they do. Parents who know how to make their kids live in fear of the consequences of screwing up don't generally have to deal with teen pregnancies, drug use, etc. You can't roll over and say "Well, they're going to do what they want, so I'll just make sure they're prepared." Fight for them every day, even if they hate you for it sometimes.

I'd really love to see you stop a teenager who wants to have sex from having sex.

Word.

Before I had kids, I was always one of those people who was like, "I would NEVER let my kid throw a tantrum in the store! I would NEVER let my kid talk to me like that!" And you know what I've learned? I can stress the fact that I don't want them to do these things, and I can punish the behavior after it happens, but kids are people, not robots. You can't "let" them or "make" them do anything. They make their own choices. You hope that choice coincides with what you want for them, and you do everything you can to make sure they have the tools they need to make the right choices, but at the end of the day they're human beings with free will. Unless you have them on a leash beside you 24 hours a day, you really can't make them do anything. All you can do is teach them right from wrong and hope for the best.

FaugHorn

Since you asked, I'll answer:

I would not provide it for her.
I couldn't STOP my girls from crossing lines that are drawn, but I'm not crossing it with them- much less paying for it and
stamping my approval over it.

I continue to teach her she is a strong, wonderful young woman with PLENTY of SELF-CONTROL
It is NOT inevitable- She can be taught to handle her emotions and hormones

just the same way we are learning to control our with our weight loss journey.

Uh...but aren't most people learning to control weight loss on here because we let ourselves get fat? And you don't see the correllation to teenage pregnancy hormones at that age are more controlling then the nomnom urge we're fighting on MFP for sure!

Ral263

You say "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."

It really bums me out that so many kids are growing up these days with parents who take the easy way out with this PC nonsense that "You can't control what your kids do." It's your job as a parent to control what they do. Parents who know how to make their kids live in fear of the consequences of screwing up don't generally have to deal with teen pregnancies, drug use, etc. You can't roll over and say "Well, they're going to do what they want, so I'll just make sure they're prepared." Fight for them every day, even if they hate you for it sometimes.

Wow. This makes me truly sad, especially if you have children. I have only ever had an open relationship with my parents about these kinds of things. My parents have always treated me like an adult, letting me make my own decisions and learn from them. My parents never felt they needed to "control what I did" because they raised me to make the right decisions--without help or input from them. You treat your kids that way and the only way they will respond is to rebel. I can proudly say that my parents taking the attitude that you are so against has gotten me to where I am today-- getting an Ivy League education, supporting myself financially, and in a stable relationship. No "pregnancies, drug use, etc." I'll never understand why some parents feel as though they need to control every aspect of their child's lives. Don't be surprised when your child cannot cope with being on their own or fails to develop any kind of independence.

foremant86

I have a 15 year old daughter. If she asked for it, I'd let her. We are very open regarding sex talk as well. We've discussed that because she is severely allergic to latex, when the time comes we will have to explore other options regarding std's. I just hope that out there somewhere are latex free condoms.

there are. trojans makes them. as well as other brands.

dakitten2

I've gone through this with both my son and daughter, who are now in their thirties. My son is 6 years older than his sister, so I had to deal with him first. First on the list was a talk to lay out what my expectations were (prefer him not to be sexually active yet) however, acknowledging the fact that I was once a teenager myself and know what teenagers go through. My children always thought Mama could fix everything and make it right. I explained to him that if he indeed was going to have sex, he should indeed ALWAYS wear a condom because Mama cannot FIX AIDS. Also, explained the effectiveness of condoms and that for the girl's safety and protection she should also be protected preferably using birth control pills. We talked about the consequences of getting someone pregnant and everything that went along with that.

My talk with my daughter went much the same way. She did come to me about getting on the pill. Sweet Jesus, I just couldnt think of my baby girl having those kind of feelings. She was definitely the princess of our world. I again expressed my desire for wanting her to wait, but I made an appointment with an OB-GYN doctor who also talked to her about the dangers, etc. She did go on the pill and survived her teenage years.

They are both married now, in their thirties, have children, but also went on to college and obtained their degrees after high school. I often thought how different their lives would be if they had unprotected sex as a teenager.and had a baby.

I would rather my children learn the facts of life from me and not from the friends who were not totally informed.

foremant86

You say "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."

It really bums me out that so many kids are growing up these days with parents who take the easy way out with this PC nonsense that "You can't control what your kids do." It's your job as a parent to control what they do. Parents who know how to make their kids live in fear of the consequences of screwing up don't generally have to deal with teen pregnancies, drug use, etc. You can't roll over and say "Well, they're going to do what they want, so I'll just make sure they're prepared." Fight for them every day, even if they hate you for it sometimes.

It really bums me out when parents think they can force their kids to be little drones.

You can't force a kid not to have sex, they are going to go behind your back and they are going to have unprotected sex because you were stupid enough to think you could fear them into not being human.

Now I didn't have sex or even fool around with a boy until i was almost 21, but i know that i am the exception not the rule. The majority of teens are sexually active in high school.

BrettPGH

Doesn't really matter what you think of your kids getting contraception.
A Doctor can (and rightfully) provide contraception - condoms, the pill, without informing or requiring the consent of the parent.

Not true. At least not everywhere.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/163508.php

There's Texas for you. One of the toughest states for minors to get birth control without parental consent. Also the state with the highest rate of teen pregnancy. But I'm sure there's NO connection there... it's all about talking to your kids. Talking blocks sperm.

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

I'd have a very long talk with her so she understands the repercussions of sex, and that she needs to understand STDs and that it doesn't stop them. While not impossible, it is very high hopes she would hold out on sex until she was much older and an adult. Rather than try to push something that may not be realistic (since she makes her own decisions when it comes to that), I would let her go on the pill because I would much rather her be protected from having a child. I would hope that I taught her well enough to be wise about her actions, and to think before she does something like this.

And I have several guns that are prepared for the first f*cker to tries anything with her. Luckily, she's only 4, and I don't have to worry about this...yet.

rml_16

I have a 15 year old daughter. If she asked for it, I'd let her. We are very open regarding sex talk as well. We've discussed that because she is severely allergic to latex, when the time comes we will have to explore other options regarding std's. I just hope that out there somewhere are latex free condoms.

Lambskin. But the AIDS virus is so small, it can go through them.

TheDoctor90

Doesn't really matter what you think of your kids getting contraception.
A Doctor can (and rightfully) provide contraception - condoms, the pill, without informing or requiring the consent of the parent.

Not true. At least not everywhere.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/163508.php

There's Texas for you. One of the toughest states for minors to get birth control without parental consent. Also the state with the highest rate of teen pregnancy. But I'm sure there's NO connection there... it's all about talking to your kids. Talking blocks sperm.

Sorry, I was thinking mainly of the UK. I sometimes forget that this site is predominately US.

foremant86

Doesn't really matter what you think of your kids getting contraception.
A Doctor can (and rightfully) provide contraception - condoms, the pill, without informing or requiring the consent of the parent.

Not true. At least not everywhere.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/163508.php

There's Texas for you. One of the toughest states for minors to get birth control without parental consent. Also the state with the highest rate of teen pregnancy. But I'm sure there's NO connection there... it's all about talking to your kids. Talking blocks sperm.

Oh texas...you and you're ridiculous laws.

Lizzy_Sunflower

Communicate!

Early and Often.

Do NOT ignore uncomfortable conversations, or you will regret the outcome.

maab_connor

you get her the pill. and then on the way home, you stop at the grocery store. you buy a bunch of bananas and a family sized box of contoms. you then sit at the table at home and teach her how to properly put on a condom. and you TALK. you let her know that mutual orgasms can be accieved without penatrative sex - mutual masterbation, heavy petting, deep kissing. you let her know that she needs to make sure he's wearing a condom for oral sex too, b/c it's still bodily fluid exchange.

this is no different than making sure she had the safest car seat, the best bike helmet, a jacket w/ a reflective stripe on it - it's a saftey concern.

you make sure that she understands that she has to take the pill every day at the same time. have breakfast/coffee with her every morning and have her take it with her vitamins.

you put condoms where she can easily get them. and you make sure that you guys have an open, non-judgemental, frank dialogue about sex and sexuality.

BrettPGH

Doesn't really matter what you think of your kids getting contraception.
A Doctor can (and rightfully) provide contraception - condoms, the pill, without informing or requiring the consent of the parent.

Not true. At least not everywhere.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/163508.php

There's Texas for you. One of the toughest states for minors to get birth control without parental consent. Also the state with the highest rate of teen pregnancy. But I'm sure there's NO connection there... it's all about talking to your kids. Talking blocks sperm.

Sorry, I was thinking mainly of the UK. I sometimes forget that this site is predominately US.

No reason to be sorry for being from a country that is so often more mature than mine. You see how well our policies are working for us.