how to make it up to him
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Honestly? Nothing! You already sent a lengthy apology, and told him your intentions were not to hurt his feelings. Nothing else is really needed except for him to realize you are being sincere and GET OVER IT!
^^^ This
At this point, ball is in his court, if he chooses to continue on that has made it his problem. Passive aggression. If you keep on and on and on... no favours are being done. Eventually he'll come around. You've done your part and that is that.
^^both of these!0 -
Well, do you respect him wanting you to be nicer about this, or do you want to be condescending to it? I mean, if I was really sorry, and respected that he didn't want this to be something I laugh about then I'd apologize sincerely (which it sounds like you did), and give him enough time to cool off (which is up to HIM). I'd maybe text him to call you when he's ready. And then I'd be kind about it, not condescending or rude or implying that he's being a baby or something.
If it IS something dumb, or you think he's being a baby or stupid or the myriad other things posters have said or implied, then I'd just leave it at that, and avoid the topic in the future, and go on with life.
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*I don't think taking time to cool off when you're angry at all fits the parameters of "passive agressive."0
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If it was as sensitive a topic as it sounds like, I'd let him cool down. You've apologised, and he obviously needs space. I know I would if my SO was accidentally insensitive to a sensitive topic of mine. When he's ready, just sit down and listen again to him.0
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Me personally, I would tell him to "SUCK IT UP", but I really don't care how my husband feels. So if you do, don't listen to me.
Why do you not care about how your husband feels? Can't imagine not caring how my wife feels. In fact,I care about the feelings of some people I don't even like, let alone love.
Hmm! If you only knew, you would understand.0 -
Thanks peeps. I had sent him that text, then a call when we usually talk (yes we talk every day just after lunch because that's when he takes our son to day care). While there are times when I tell him to suck it up, this wasn't one of them. I think this was one of those times where he honestly didn't want me to see how worried he was.
But . . . I'm am out of the dog house and at least on the porch because he did call me. We did have a chat, it was fine. Looks like I'm going to be making him a strawberry rhubarb crisp when I get home though, just in case! (an no, that is not a euphemism)0 -
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the OP does care how her husband feels.Me personally, I would tell him to "SUCK IT UP", but I really don't care how my husband feels. So if you do, don't listen to me.
Why do you not care about how your husband feels? Can't imagine not caring how my wife feels. In fact,I care about the feelings of some people I don't even like, let alone love.
Hmm! If you only knew, you would understand.0 -
I vote BJ.
Kidding.....
sorta. :bigsmile:
No, no. I think you have it right. MEN HAVE NEEDS TOO!!! :sad:
This was my solution before i even read what the problem was! :laugh:0 -
I vote BJ.
Kidding.....
sorta. :bigsmile:
No, no. I think you have it right. MEN HAVE NEEDS TOO!!! :sad:
Pfft! That was MY answer....NOT kidding.
And thats why we love you so much. 0 -
You know him better than probably anyone. You know when to give him distance, and when you really need to make it up to him. Since you don't say precisely what he was trying to relay, I think it's safe to assume that you've already rejected the idea of just giving him space. It sounds as though you've already decided that what you did warrants some type of gesture.
Food is nice if you're hungry, and...other stuff...is nice if you're, uhm, in need? But if you are hurt, you need to feel valued and loved. Get him something or do something specifically related to your conversation to show that you were listening and you want to help. If he was complaining about his back, make him an appointment for a massage, for example. Or give him one yourself, and then...uhm...other naughty stuff would probably be appreciated as well. *sigh* I kept it clean, folks...but I'm white-knuckling it over here.
And that's what she said! D'OH!0 -
Looks like I'm going to be making him a strawberry rhubarb crisp when I get home though, just in case! (an no, that is not a euphemism)
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Well, you know. It's a versatile term.I thought DH was dumb husband... All this time I was like..whew others like me! :-D0 -
You should consider a BJ ASAP for your DH on the DL because it should make him LOL. A little BDSM never hurt either (or does it?)0
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I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the OP does care how her husband feels.Me personally, I would tell him to "SUCK IT UP", but I really don't care how my husband feels. So if you do, don't listen to me.
Why do you not care about how your husband feels? Can't imagine not caring how my wife feels. In fact,I care about the feelings of some people I don't even like, let alone love.
Hmm! If you only knew, you would understand.
I know she cares about her husband, or she wouldn't have posted the thread. Just letting her know what I would do. I even told her in my post not listen to me.0 -
BJ!!!:devil:0
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*I don't think taking time to cool off when you're angry at all fits the parameters of "passive agressive."
I agree. THAT is not being 'agressive' at all. That is being 'reactive'.
Some people just simply have a tough time with intimacy and opening up. He may be one of those people, who took a leap of faith and started to share something he thought he could with someone he dearly loves and trusts .. only to be blown off. It's humiliating and hurtful .. but, now that it has turned into something that was never intended, it may take a little time to cool off, accompanied with some TLC and all will be forgiven .. eventually. Don't be surprised if he doesn't open up again anytime in the near future. A few steps backward can be counterbalanced .. it just takes time, and a lot of love, and perhaps a promise to be more considerate in the future.
I hope it all works out!0 -
Don't worry, once we have it all worked out I will help him buff the hard woods, a spit shine may be in order at that point0
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Don't worry, once we have it all worked out I will help him buff the hard woods, a spit shine may be in order at that point
Haha. We only have carpet in our house. Wait! grrr!0 -
If you need to ask how to make up to a man, you have far greater problems....0
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DH = Dear/Darling Husband
If you have kids, send them to the neighbours, cook him a nice dinner and spend the evening talking to him. Really listen to what he is saying, offer advice, support and whatever else he needs from you. Ask him point blank what you can do to make it up to him and don't let him just say "nothing" or "it's fine" because then neither of you will be happy. I can't think of much else, I'm sure we're all guilty of not paying close enough attention to our significant others now and then so the best you can do is make the extra effort to really listen.
That and then yeah I can think of something else :blushing:0
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