When someone asks how much weight you have lost...

bjfmade
bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
edited October 5 in Health and Weight Loss
Okay, just wondering your thoughts on a male acquaintance (delivery person) asking a female how much weight she has lost. I was asked this yesterday by a male delivery person and it ticked me off. Maybe because I had already heard he had asked my sister and others the same question about me.
I was prepared I guess... He started by saying I looked great, but then went right into "How much weight have you lost?" I replied, how much does your wife weigh?.. He was a little startled, so I asked him again. He was a little flustered by my question.
I must say this is a guy that is more of a busy body than a woman is. I feel it is none of his business.
So, back to the question....Is it rude?
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Replies

  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
    It would be rude if, as you say, he is a busy body. Otherwise I would take it as a compliment. It's weird though, I've never had a male ask me how much weight I've lost (I don't think). It's usually the women & they want to know how I did it etc.
  • asyouseefit
    asyouseefit Posts: 1,265 Member
    I don't think it's rude. People usually like numbers, probabl gives them a better understanding of how much you have lost. (or so they think, as we know the number on the scales means nothing!)


    "Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: "What does his voice sound like?" "What games does he like best?" "Does he collect butterflies?". They ask: "How old is he?" "How many brothers does he have?" "How much does he weigh?" "How much money does his father make?" Only then do they think they know him. "

    (The Little Prince - St Exupéry)
  • DakotaKeogh
    DakotaKeogh Posts: 693 Member
    Probably not so much rude as just plain dumb. It's pretty well socially understood that weight and age are generally taboo subjects since people can feel sensitive about it. If he's been asking several people, not getting answers and is still asking, he sounds more like a dolt then a rude person.
  • jhardenbergh
    jhardenbergh Posts: 1,035 Member
    I don't think it's rude, I find it rude when they ask how much do you weight now, cause I can see them trying to figure out it out in their head. I usually respond with less than you. I like getting asked how much I lost. On my bank card is an old picture of me and the bartender at the restaurant damn near crapped her pants and didn't believe it was me in the picture, same thing with the guy at the gym when I scanned my tag I didn't realize that my picture shows up on the screen behind the desk, he asked me who's tag I was using and said mine and if he wanted to see my license I could run out to my car to get it, that's an old picture of me too though.
  • 0PhAtDaDdY
    0PhAtDaDdY Posts: 569 Member
    Okay, just wondering your thoughts on a male acquaintance (delivery person) asking a female how much weight she has lost. I was asked this yesterday by a male delivery person and it ticked me off. Maybe because I had already heard he had asked my sister and others the same question about me.
    I was prepared I guess... He started by saying I looked great, but then went right into "How much weight have you lost?" I replied, how much does your wife weigh?.. He was a little startled, so I asked him again. He was a little flustered by my question.
    I must say this is a guy that is more of a busy body than a woman is. I feel it is none of his business.
    So, back to the question....Is it rude?
    To me it seemed you where rude to him.... Hmmmm
  • Simomofmich
    Simomofmich Posts: 126 Member
    I think you're reply was rude. I mean you obviously have the right to be as uptight as you want to. He did not ask how much you weigh, he asked how much weight you lost. A big difference. A compliment even.
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
    He is a busy body and had already asked my sister and my husband (those are the ones I know of). Neither one would tell him anything. My husband actually told him it was none of his business and he still asked me. Small town busy bodies.
  • jhardenbergh
    jhardenbergh Posts: 1,035 Member
    I do agree with the guy above about asking other people that just seems too damn creepy
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
    It depends who it is. If it is just an aquaintance like this, you could say what I said last year to a busybody "that's a pretty personal question to ask a lady". He was suitably chastened.

    However, for friends, I've told them.

    GG
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
    Probably not so much rude as just plain dumb. It's pretty well socially understood that weight and age are generally taboo subjects since people can feel sensitive about it. If he's been asking several people, not getting answers and is still asking, he sounds more like a dolt then a rude person.
    This!
    The compliment was appreciated, but, men shouldn't ask women numbers...
  • newarkco05
    newarkco05 Posts: 240
    He is a busy body and had already asked my sister and my husband (those are the ones I know of). Neither one would tell him anything. My husband actually told him it was none of his business and he still asked me. Small town busy bodies.

    Then why did you bother asking on here? :noway:
  • capriciousmoon
    capriciousmoon Posts: 1,263 Member
    I don't care if people know my weight, so I wouldn't be offended. I also never really cared if anyone called me fat. It's just facts, it isn't anything to be ashamed of. It really depends on my mood though...

    * honest answer

    or

    * act shocked, like the weight loss wasn't intentional and if it's something to worry about
  • 0PhAtDaDdY
    0PhAtDaDdY Posts: 569 Member
    He is a busy body and had already asked my sister and my husband (those are the ones I know of). Neither one would tell him anything. My husband actually told him it was none of his business and he still asked me. Small town busy bodies.

    It's nice to live in a small town you only have to pay your bills everyone else will take care of ya business.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    "Wow you look really fat, how much weight have you put on?" <--- Rude

    "Wow you look really great, how much weight did you lose?" <--- Not rude

    Losing weight is an achievement, one that a lot of people aspire to, I totally fail to see how the question can be construed as rude.
    I replied, how much does your wife weigh?.. He was a little startled, so I asked him again. He was a little flustered by my question.
    Your response to a perfectly civil question, that left him feeling discombobulated was rude. You could quite politely have replied "I'd rather not say".

    Perhaps his wife or a female friend looks about the same as you did before you lost weight and is dieting, and he's wondering how much they'd have to lose to look as great as you.

    In any case, I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. In my experience there are a lot of people who open their mouths without engaging their brain, but very very few actually rude or genuinely unkind people.
  • fyfi_fendir
    fyfi_fendir Posts: 64 Member
    rude? may depends why he asked. I would have given him the benefice of the doubt... If it makes you uncomfortable why don't you just say so rather than attacking him. As far as we know he may be having family member struggling with weight and was honestly interested on how much you lost, how fast, how you did it... I understand your point, some people feel uncomfortable when people ask such question, especially if he is not a friend, but me I would just say : i am sorry I don't want to share this information... well just me...
  • Jess5825
    Jess5825 Posts: 228
    I think it is rude. I won't even tell friends how much I lost. I am not one for discussing it.
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
    I think it is rude. I won't even tell friends how much I lost. I am not one for discussing it.

    Me either :)
  • newarkco05
    newarkco05 Posts: 240
    For those who has issues with people knowing how much you have lost, then why do you have a ticker in your signature?
  • jhardenbergh
    jhardenbergh Posts: 1,035 Member
    For those who has issues with people knowing how much you have lost, then why do you have a ticker in your signature?

    Touche
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
    For those who has issues with people knowing how much you have lost, then why do you have a ticker in your signature?

    Different environment.
  • kdb247
    kdb247 Posts: 326 Member
    Okay, just wondering your thoughts on a male acquaintance (delivery person) asking a female how much weight she has lost. I was asked this yesterday by a male delivery person and it ticked me off. Maybe because I had already heard he had asked my sister and others the same question about me.
    I was prepared I guess... He started by saying I looked great, but then went right into "How much weight have you lost?" I replied, how much does your wife weigh?.. He was a little startled, so I asked him again. He was a little flustered by my question.
    I must say this is a guy that is more of a busy body than a woman is. I feel it is none of his business.
    So, back to the question....Is it rude?
  • Steph_Marie29
    Steph_Marie29 Posts: 75
    I proudly tell people who much weight I've lost. i am happy with my weight loss :)
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
    He is a busy body and had already asked my sister and my husband (those are the ones I know of). Neither one would tell him anything. My husband actually told him it was none of his business and he still asked me. Small town busy bodies.

    The guy just doesn't know when to quit. I would have been a lot more firm in my words to him... more like 2 words... with a hand gesture.
    I don't feel its defensive or oversensitive to react like that - people get on other people's nerves, and conflicts happen no matter where you go.

    Wasn't rude, it was a natural response.
  • elmo42
    elmo42 Posts: 2
    not rude, compliment that he has noticed, you have obviously make progress with you weightloss for him to ask.
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
    Probably not so much rude as just plain dumb. It's pretty well socially understood that weight and age are generally taboo subjects since people can feel sensitive about it. If he's been asking several people, not getting answers and is still asking, he sounds more like a dolt then a rude person.
    This!
    The compliment was appreciated, but, men shouldn't ask women numbers...

    Why not? You always say you want to be treated the same as men.



    Women say chivalry is dead. And who killed it? Women.
  • kdb247
    kdb247 Posts: 326 Member
    Yes, your reply was rude.
  • significance
    significance Posts: 436 Member
    I think you're reply was rude. I mean you obviously have the right to be as uptight as you want to. He did not ask how much you weigh, he asked how much weight you lost. A big difference. A compliment even.

    It is a big difference, but not a compliment, and very rude. Her reply was deliberately rude to point that out - she didn't except an answer: she expected to make him stop and think what he was asking. I'd much rather tell people (outside this forum) how much I weigh now, at a healthy weight, than how much I have lost (and hence how shamefully overweight I was).
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    I'm kind of wondering why it was important for us to know that he was delivery person. If it was a female delivery person asking you instead of a male, would it be any different?

    To answer your question though, no I don't think it was rude. People make comments about my weight loss all the time and then I hear about it after.. and it is what it is. People will always talk and be nosy.. it's human nature :)
  • Pamu101
    Pamu101 Posts: 33
    I think that your answer was rude. :S
  • TazzytheMotivator
    TazzytheMotivator Posts: 646 Member
    None of his business. Good for you great job on your weight loss. I have 14 more pounds to go to reach my goal.:flowerforyou:
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