Binge eating ...... people don't understand.
emancipateurself
Posts: 175 Member
Here's my deal.
I've always binged ate in my life just sat there with like two mcdonalds meals and bags of chips and just scarfed it down...my thing though is I never purged it up.........just stuffed down all my freaking feelings or boredom or whatever it was I never really needed an excuse.
So during this journey I have found myself struggling with not binge eating and it's happened of course and ruined many many weeks for me.
So for now I'm allowing myself one day a month....just one where I can do whatever I want...I will log it however. And that day was yesterday for me....
I just want people to understand something here.....
Food is my addiction.
Just like herion is for someone else....and you have two schools of thought on addiction....abstinance and harm reduction. Well folks I live and breath harm reduction.
If my brain knows that there is one day in the future that I can binge and 'get high' then it can wait......so it doesn't happen out of the blue ect.....like it has been happening....
So understand or don't understand.....that's your choice. Thanks.
I've always binged ate in my life just sat there with like two mcdonalds meals and bags of chips and just scarfed it down...my thing though is I never purged it up.........just stuffed down all my freaking feelings or boredom or whatever it was I never really needed an excuse.
So during this journey I have found myself struggling with not binge eating and it's happened of course and ruined many many weeks for me.
So for now I'm allowing myself one day a month....just one where I can do whatever I want...I will log it however. And that day was yesterday for me....
I just want people to understand something here.....
Food is my addiction.
Just like herion is for someone else....and you have two schools of thought on addiction....abstinance and harm reduction. Well folks I live and breath harm reduction.
If my brain knows that there is one day in the future that I can binge and 'get high' then it can wait......so it doesn't happen out of the blue ect.....like it has been happening....
So understand or don't understand.....that's your choice. Thanks.
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Replies
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I get it.. I've been on this for 160 days and a few weeks ago I allowed myself to eat what I wanted... (lots of pizza and a lot of Mt Dew) What followed was 3 days of unrelenting pain (just heartburn.. but man it hurt.. lol).. I look at it as a lesson learned and a reminder as to why I started this, to feel better.0
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I UNDERSTAND! I promise I get it. I was bulimic for 4 years and then anorexic later on but oh my goodness I feel ya about the bingeing. It's uncontrollable and makes you feel so high while you're doing it. But afterwards......you just want to die.0
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yeah it's not something that I hope to always do.......I hope to one day not need to binge....but for some reason my brain just won't let me cope with not doing it sometimes.....it's such a struggle.......and I'm doing so well so yeap...it's disgusting and I always feel like crap after physically but it helps me not to continue it.0
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10 years of binging here!! well..binging 2 months on, then 3 weeks restricting, for 10 years. needless to say i have no muscle tone, my body is a mess. i know how you feel. councelling helped and is still helping me tremendously understand WHY im binging and WHY i dont let those feelings come up. weight training is also really good and allowing myself to eat whatever i want as long as i am within my calorie limit. nearly 3 weeks binge free! and feeling like i am slowly conquering this demon
have you ever thought about joining OA? or getting councelling? because you realise its not about the food, but handling your emotions. the food is just a coping mechanism and a bad habit.
HUGS xxxx0 -
You have to do what works for you. At least you are not resorting to some crash diet that will harm your health. You may eventually find, too, that you can reduce your binges or at least begin binging on healthy stuff. Some drug addicts kick it cold turkey; others have to go through a gradual process.
Kudos to you for doing what you can to get it under control. You may find that you can start going longer between "binge days", so you're not doing it as often. Just keep taking it one step at a time and do what you can. As others have said, this is a marathon, not a sprint, so you have to be in it for the long haul. Sounds like you are! :flowerforyou:0 -
Have you tried therapy? It helped me a lot.0
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I understand...and I too have those days when all I want to do is eat. However, I tried to stay ahead of myself by eating high volume foods on those days. Example - I will eat a huge bowl of air popped popcorn and a glass of milk before dinner. Then I may only want half as much of the bad stuff.0
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Yeah I've done therapy.....it has never helped me. I get that I'm doing something totally unhealthy and stuffing down my feelings and all that...but I've lost 88 pounds and every pound lost makes me deal with my emotions I've grown sooooo much....... and I'm getting there I was just explaining where I'm at...I'm halfway through my weight loss journey and this is what I do.0
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I think that 1 day/month is a very good idea. I totally understand what you're saying, it happens to me too and I get really depressed because I feel like I'm losing control. So yes, 1 day/month is very good! Just keep at it and make it only 1 day - if you can.0
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i'm a binge eater too but the only way i can control it is abstinence. any form of potato is a huge trigger for me so i can't have them at all. i'm still trying to get back on track after thanksgiving. good luck to you!0
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Ever consider binging on something else? ie.. make a huge bowl of air popped popcorn and see if that helps
A few micky D meals and a bag a chips isn't binging to me.0 -
I'm a binge eater too! A lot of people don't see it as a food disorder such as bulimia and anorexia but it can be. Recently I barely ate anything for 4 days, and the past 3 days I'll eat a lot a lot of food. It is annoying but a habit and addictive. It is true you can get high off of food and need your fix. I agree with your "solution" to have that one day to eat what you want. Because if you force yourself to drop binge eating completely you are most likely to rebound. Its best in your situation I think to slowly walk away from binge eating. So do I lol...0
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I agree with you. Most people will never understand what it's like. A traumatic event in my past triggered BED for me. At first, I ate when I was scared, or lonely. Eventually, I started to use food to cope with all my feelings... Until one day I woke up, and realized that every feeling triggers a binge (even positive feelings!!). It got to the point for me that I couldn't even identify what I was feeling. In counselling, I could only describe it as "hungry". I realize now that it's not physical hunger, but an emotional one. Even today (after counselling and a great deal of soul-searching), I struggle with identifying how I feel.
I remember eating entire 40-pack boxes of Timbits... A whole ice cream cake... Fast food meals that should have fed four.... Bags and bags of Halloween candy (that I would pretend I bought for the trick-or-treaters)...
It's a constant battle. I don't think people who haven't experienced it can possibly understand how food makes people like you and I feel.
Congrats on your loss though! I'm also losing (50lbs since the summer). If you ever need help or support, feel free to add me.
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I have that problem, i binge eat usually when i'm upset. I don't know why i do it, but it's been a challenge to stop.
I've lost 45 lbs so far and i'm so worried i won't be able to keep it off. not really sure what i should do to stop this either.0 -
I'm a binge eater too! A lot of people don't see it as a food disorder such as bulimia and anorexia but it can be. Recently I barely ate anything for 4 days, and the past 3 days I'll eat a lot a lot of food. It is annoying but a habit and addictive. It is true you can get high off of food and need your fix. I agree with your "solution" to have that one day to eat what you want. Because if you force yourself to drop binge eating completely you are most likely to rebound. Its best in your situation I think to slowly walk away from binge eating. So do I lol...
THANK YOU *HUGS*0 -
This is such a hard topic and people feel very strongly about it in different ways. I'm a sufferer myself and doing particularly badly recently. My diary is a bloody mess.
No, it's not as bad as drugs as many would argue. BUT, when you give up drugs, part of the process is to stop going where you went for drugs, stop being friends with people on drugs, never go anywhere where you could come into contact with them etc etc. We all need food - you can't get away from food, it's everywhere. So you can't stop yourself coming into contact with it, you need it. So the temptations are everywhere and this is an addiction you can't avoid contact with. You have to tame the processes behind it, what causes you to binge eat, find a way to distract yourself.
I'm having problems with that distraction part. I'm a fly by the seat of your pants kind of girl. Something comes into my head and I want to do it then, so I call up the friends and do it. Problem is, I'm the same way with food. Yesterday I was doing really well on the food, then went to the gym in the evening and before I left all the staff were eating a Chinese takeaway. So I wanted one, went to the restaurant and got a takeaway myself. Did I enjoy it? Yes. Do I feel fine about it this m0 -
Do I feel fine about it this morning? No way - and I'll be annoyed when I get on the scales too.
I have to seriously work on my willpower and motivation.0 -
Do I feel fine about it this morning? No way - and I'll be annoyed when I get on the scales too.
I have to seriously work on my willpower and motivation.
I think though that it's about forgiving yourself and understanding why and dealing with what it was that made you do it......and growing from it.....it's takes patience but if you don't deal with it then it'll never stop right........0 -
I'm a binge eater too! A lot of people don't see it as a food disorder such as bulimia and anorexia but it can be. Recently I barely ate anything for 4 days, and the past 3 days I'll eat a lot a lot of food. It is annoying but a habit and addictive. It is true you can get high off of food and need your fix. I agree with your "solution" to have that one day to eat what you want. Because if you force yourself to drop binge eating completely you are most likely to rebound. Its best in your situation I think to slowly walk away from binge eating. So do I lol...
THANK YOU *HUGS*
You welcome!
Also it seems to be harder to stop binge eating rather than stop smoking or drugs. Because our body needs food to survive, so of course we will always be eating, as for smoking and drugs you can drop that completely. Therapy can help, sometimes what I do is have nicotine gum or nasal decongestant pills. Those seem to help subside the hunger for things a lot. But don't take them too often or your body will become immune to the appetite suppressant effect.0 -
I do understand :S. Although my own binging is much better than it has been in the past... I still have my days of totally overeating....
I just had this conversation with a colleague today. Me and my little hate love relationship with food. She didn;t understand fully, because she say;s she loves food. But for me it's the constant fight between, cravings, overeating, feeling sick, undereating and feeling guilty... because I should have known better in the first place....0 -
Yup, yup, yup, I get it. (I have a blog post here about bingeing if you want to read it...) I think getting yourself down to ONE day instead of EVERY day is huge and you are to be commended for it.. And maybe that one day will someday lessen in frequency as well to one day every other week/month/whatever.
Focus on the good days. Make sure you give yourself a gold star for each day you don't binge or need to. It's not that you're a Horrible Rotten Person for that one bad day, but make sure the sun shines where it should, if that makes sense.
:flowerforyou:0 -
i understand too!!
I binge eat. I am actually a recovering bulimic, but i haven't always purged. People around me don't believe i still have a promblem if i don't vomit, but binging is still very distressing and damaging to my body and my mind!
REcently i've been allowing myself 2 days a week to binge, it does feel like i'm getting somewhere, just slowly. It does feel like i'm trying to re-teach myself to eat. It is an addiction which is realy hard to get out off!0 -
Binger eaters. Ever try saying to yourself "Okay, I'll eat anything I want AFTER eating this big huge salad/apples/oatmeal etc..."????
Maybe you'd cut the bad bing food by 1/2 or something. Or binge on something not so bad. Popcorm perhaps0 -
Binger eaters. Ever try saying to yourself "Okay, I'll eat anything I want AFTER eating this big huge salad/apples/oatmeal etc..."????
Maybe you'd cut the bad bing food by 1/2 or something. Or binge on something not so bad. Popcorm perhaps
oh Ive tried that...it actually doesn't matter how full my stomach is from a healthy item.....for me it's just grabbing whatever I can get my hands on when I'm binging it can be popcorn, apples, banannas ect......it doesn't matter what it is...it's the AMOUNT......it's a complicated thing to understand I get it.0 -
Binger eaters. Ever try saying to yourself "Okay, I'll eat anything I want AFTER eating this big huge salad/apples/oatmeal etc..."????
Maybe you'd cut the bad bing food by 1/2 or something. Or binge on something not so bad. Popcorm perhaps
PLEASE NOTE THAT I"M NOT CONDONING BINGING. And the above suggestion may be worth looking into. But:
When I was bulimic, I had specific foods I would binge on. I made specific trips to the store for those foods. It was part of the "ritual" that is binging. Dunno if popcorn would have cut it. I appreciate the thought and your wanting to help, though. Truly.0 -
Personal opinion...You've lost 88 lbs and THAT IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! This thing is working for you. Just don't go overboard and I know you'll get to your goal in no time. 0
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Binger eaters. Ever try saying to yourself "Okay, I'll eat anything I want AFTER eating this big huge salad/apples/oatmeal etc..."????
Maybe you'd cut the bad bing food by 1/2 or something. Or binge on something not so bad. Popcorm perhaps
oh Ive tried that...it actually doesn't matter how full my stomach is from a healthy item.....for me it's just grabbing whatever I can get my hands on when I'm binging it can be popcorn, apples, banannas ect......it doesn't matter what it is...it's the AMOUNT......it's a complicated thing to understand I get it.
Yeah, to me, I thought at some point, you get too full. So I thought if you could fill 1/2 of it with something decent, you could still binge and not worry about it.
I've eaten an entire bag of Costco sized potato chips before. Was so salty that my legs cramped while sleeping that night. Chips are bad because you don't really get / feel full.
I don't think I grasp the eating way past the full mark. But your original binge description wasn't that bad. That's 1 micky meal beyoond normal for me.0 -
Personal opinion...You've lost 88 lbs and THAT IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! This thing is working for you. Just don't go overboard and I know you'll get to your goal in no time.
aww thanks I know I will too....no question in my mind...lol...it's just the journey0 -
Binger eaters. Ever try saying to yourself "Okay, I'll eat anything I want AFTER eating this big huge salad/apples/oatmeal etc..."????
Maybe you'd cut the bad bing food by 1/2 or something. Or binge on something not so bad. Popcorm perhaps
For me eating even something healthy makes me feel bad. Typically the only time I feel happy about my diet is when I don't eat. And when I feel worse, I eat more, when I eat more, I feel worse. Its a tough cycle to break. Though keeping my mind busy and sometimes out of the house helps a lot. Because binge eating is a psychological problem. So going for a walk/drive helps a lot to keep my mind off of food and my body away from the kitchen.0 -
Binger eaters. Ever try saying to yourself "Okay, I'll eat anything I want AFTER eating this big huge salad/apples/oatmeal etc..."????
Maybe you'd cut the bad bing food by 1/2 or something. Or binge on something not so bad. Popcorm perhaps
oh Ive tried that...it actually doesn't matter how full my stomach is from a healthy item.....for me it's just grabbing whatever I can get my hands on when I'm binging it can be popcorn, apples, banannas ect......it doesn't matter what it is...it's the AMOUNT......it's a complicated thing to understand I get it.
Yeah, to me, I thought at some point, you get too full. So I thought if you could fill 1/2 of it with something decent, you could still binge and not worry about it.
I've eaten an entire bag of Costco sized potato chips before. Was so salty that my legs cramped while sleeping that night. Chips are bad because you don't really get / feel full.
I don't think I grasp the eating way past the full mark. But your original binge description wasn't that bad. That's 1 micky meal beyoond normal for me.
oh no it's like enough fast food for like 4 people then like 2 or 3 big bags of chips then glasses of milk then chocolate bars then apples then toast then cerel...then then then....lol...get it...lol0
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