Firearms in your home??
geogal95
Posts: 47 Member
Advice?? My bf is looking to take his grampa's guns home now that he is passed. handguns and rifles with ammo. I am very strong in my opinion that I don't want firearms in my house. This is his way of staying close to Grampa no doubt, but he wants it all. I've lost friends to accidents from guns and just feel if its not in the house, there can't be accidents. He was raised with guns. This will come between us. Help!! I need some suggestions. I'm getting stressed so bad and the last thing I want is to binge eat or lose my relationship with him over this. Suggestions? Advice? Anyone else in this position?
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Replies
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No suggestions or advice here but I'm so against firearms too. Of my husband brought a gun into the house...deal breaker for me. I don't really care about "sickness and health" "better or worse". I have told him as much too. They will never come into my home.0
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I have grown up around firearms and we have them in our home. We have them stored safely and our children have taken courses on gun safety. As hard as it is to remember - the guns don't cause accidents, people do. Insist on both of you taking a gun safety course, basic handling course and a purchase a gun safe.
Wanted to add also that marksmanship is a great sport and you may find that you enjoy shooting - some of the ranges around here offer free ladies nights even! It could be something for the two of you to enjoy together. Try to have an open mind and educate yourself about what it is that frightens you. The folks working at the gun ranges are some of the most safety conscious people you could ever meet and will spend the time to make sure you know how to be safe and keep others safe.0 -
My hubby is a gun fanatic and we have who knows how many in our house. That being said, I've taken classes on how to safely handle a firearm. I used to be scared to death of guns, but guns don't kill people; people that don't know how to safely and properly handle them are the ones that get hurt or killed, or if guns fall into people's hands that have very bad intentions, and that can happen no matter whether you have a gun in your home or not.
Any of our guns that are loaded we keep all of the safeties on and they're stored safely. Like I said, I was afraid of them until I became educated on how to properly use them. Now, I actually enjoy going out to the shooting range and shooting different guns. I say, educate yourself and make sure your boyfriend is educated also on gun safety, and you don't have anything to worry about.
ETA: We also have a gun safe so they are safely stored away.0 -
I have never been pro or anti firearm.... But this year I became friends with a lady who was acosted in a WalMart parking lot - she now carries a gun. She carries all the time, and she and her husband have many guns. They are a pro gun household. EVERYONE in the family has been taught gun safety, so there is less risk..... I have gone shooting with her and she believes I should have a gun too. I do not yet - I'm undecided. My boyfriend has two guns, one is a hunting rifle, and the other is a handgun, which stays loaded all the time. I hope it never has to be used, but it does make me feel safer..... Why can't the guns stay unloaded, and in a locked safe??0
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Just a thought-
Tell him how uncomfortable you feel with firearms in your home, they can be safley locked in a gun safe that he can purchase.
There are the kind that require 2 keys to open and can fit nicely in a closet.
If he is a caring individual that loves you he will do as you request!
Guns aren't toys and should be handled with respect, but they are good to have around.
But don't punish yourself for your feelings, work out to relieve stress instead of eating.0 -
I was raised around guns, but they make me uncomfortable in untrained hands (AHEM. my fiance. AHEM). I told Greg, my fiance, that the ONLY way a gun could come into my house was unloaded, safety on, clip taken out, and in a case. We have a nice little Smith and Wesson 9mm, and it's on top of the entertainment center in the bedroom, locked up, unloaded, and partially dis-assembled. It makes me more comfortable that way, even thoguh i've had to load it and take it outside when a man wandered into my yard acting strange. If it would help, i always suggest a gun safety course (you could BOTH take it, so you would know the ins and outs of the weapon as well, that helps a LOT) and make a rule that it does NOT come out of the case inside your home (or on your property, if you prefer) and even if it's raining sideways and ten degrees, he stops OUTSIDE, unloads it and locks it up
(In my house, failure to do so leads to being locked outside for a while.) 0 -
Get educated about firearm safety instead of living in fear. It's that simple. The VAST majority of gun-related incidents are from criminals and people who don't handle them safely! Guns will not discharge themselves when left alone.
I second the notion to compromise by getting a gun safe. It need not be Fort Knox with 2 keys like the other person suggested. It need only be locked so that it can't be grabbed by children (who should also learn about gun safety).0 -
we have several guns in my home..I own one myself ..they are not to be afraid of but yet be more afraid of the person handling them...Lock them is a safe and you will be fine. I know this is scary to you but they are passed down, get a gunsafe that has a number lock and only he knows the code.0
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Advice?? My bf is looking to take his grampa's guns home now that he is passed. handguns and rifles with ammo. I am very strong in my opinion that I don't want firearms in my house. This is his way of staying close to Grampa no doubt, but he wants it all. I've lost friends to accidents from guns and just feel if its not in the house, there can't be accidents. He was raised with guns. This will come between us. Help!! I need some suggestions. I'm getting stressed so bad and the last thing I want is to binge eat or lose my relationship with him over this. Suggestions? Advice? Anyone else in this position?
Also, there is no such thing as a gun-related "accident". It always comes down to proper & safe handling. Accidental discharges are completely preventable.
I hope you two can come to an agreement where both parties are happy. :flowerforyou:0 -
I do not mind guns in the house. We have them, HOWEVER, they are locked in a safe where my son cannot get to them. I remember going into my dads closet as achild and playing with his shot guns so I would never let that happen with my child. Have them but lock them up!!0
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Gun in the house saved this poor woman from a nasty fate.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/very-afraid-66-year-old-woman-shoots-and-kills-home-intruder/
Would you feel better if the guns were stored unloaded in a gun safe?0 -
I think you need to sit down with your boyfriend and explain your feelings and then both of you need to find a compromise that will satisy you both. We have guns in our home, however I am deputy Sheriff so it is only natural that I keep a handgun loaded in a handgun safe underneath my side of the bed. My husband jokes that his wife is the one who sleeps with the gun under her side of the bed to friends and family.
I would highly recommend both of you taking gun safety courses, purchasing a gun safe before any of the guns come into the home, and always store the ammunition in a different location than the gun. A gun cannot be fired without ammunition and it certainly cannot be fired from within the confines of a safe.
Please don't let this come between your relationship, there are definitely things both of you can do to make this work so that he can have his Grandpa's guns and you can feel more comfortable with them in your home.0 -
I haven't grown up around guns, but a couple years ago I got into going to ranges with one of my close guy friends. I learned how to properly handle a gun and have used all sorts. I'm a surprisingly good marksman. No need to fear a gun. They're only dangerous in the hands of untrained people or criminals.0
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I do not mind guns in the house. We have them, HOWEVER, they are locked in a safe where my son cannot get to them. I remember going into my dads closet as achild and playing with his shot guns so I would never let that happen with my child. Have them but lock them up!!
Did your dad take you out to shoot them and teach you about proper gun safety and handling? When we hide things from our kids it only serves to increase their curiosity.
My dad taught my brother and I how to operate and safely handle a gun when we were 10 & 8. I owned my first shotgun at 12 and first handgun at 14, and kept them both in my room. I NEVER played with them (and neither did my younger brother) because we were taught how destructive they were, and how to properly handle them.
Education is always better than ignorance.0 -
I think you guys definitely need to discuss it. However, I grew up with guns in my home and can honestly tell you I have never seen one and I have no idea where they are hidden. My dad keeps the bullets locked in a safe under their bed that the key is hidden to, and the unloaded guns are hidden. My mom doesn't even know where any of them are and just knows the bullets are in the safe.0
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It is definitely going to be an issue if he was raised around guns and you aren't comfortable having them in the house at all. However, a really good way to dispel any fear that simply having guns around can kill you, consider taking a gun safety class at a local shooting range. Knowing how to properly handle, store, and fire a loaded firearm safely is important information for anyone to know, regardless of whether you keep them in your house. Many people have firearms in their homes and have never had any incidents. That's because they are responsible with their guns and make sure that everyone who lives in their home or visits understands gun safety.0
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Have you ever shot one? They're really kinda fun. All 3 of my daughters will learn to shoot as soon as they're ready. No later than 12 or 13, probably sooner. Even if someone didn't have guns, it's a good idea to learn how to handle them. Just in case.
As for guns from his grampa, they're mementos, heirlooms even. The only gun I have now was my grampas and I'm very grateful to have it, if just to remember him and the good times we had shooting gophers. In your case, it's not just about having guns, it's about having his grampas guns.0 -
Did your dad take you out to shoot them and teach you about proper gun safety and handling? When we hide things from our kids it only serves to increase their curiosity.
My dad taught my brother and I how to operate and safely handle a gun when we were 10 & 8. I owned my first shotgun at 12 and first handgun at 14, and kept them both in my room. I NEVER played with them (and neither did my younger brother) because we were taught how destructive they were, and how to properly handle them.
Education is always better than ignorance.
I have to second this opinion. I was never comfortable with guns before, but my husband owns a handgun and wanted to have it loaded in the house for safety. I asked my husband to teach me about gun safety (he knows a lot.. military teaches you all about that), and he showed me how to operate and handle his gun. Now that I know how to load a magazine, how to properly clear the weapon, and how to handle it (guns should be treated as if they are ALWAYS LOADED and ready to fire) I'm much more comfortable having the gun in the house. Since it's just the two of us living together, we keep it in a dresser drawer, loaded (yes, with one in the chamber), all by itself for easy access. This is for my protection, mostly, since my husband has to travel a lot for work and I frequently am at home by myself for weeks at a time. Guns in the home can be perfectly safe if you understand how to operate and store them properly. Not to mention, learning how to shoot his gun when we went to the range was even more empowering. Contrary to popular belief, guns don't go off by themselves, lol. You have to pull the trigger.0 -
Appreciating the advice. He is not just looking to have the guns but also in getting a license to conceal them. He has nothing to shoot at. We live in the city. We don't even have a large yard to shoot cans at. I want him to have his grandpa's guns cuz I know how much they mean, but why ammo and a license to carry? I just don't get it I guess.0
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We have firearms in our home that are kept in a locked cabinet. The only one that stays loaded is the shotgun and that is simply so it is ready in the case it is needed for home protection. Gun safety and education is the biggest essential to having guns in the home and both can be taught at a very early age. My two year old daughter knows that guns cause "owies" and she should not touch them (if they are out of the cabinet to be cleaned, etc. otherwise she can't get to them so this is a non-issue for us); as she gets older and has more comprehension she will learn actual gun safety and learn how to handle them properly.
"Accidents" happen because people do not handle the guns properly and are not taught proper gun safety. With the right education and precautionary measures they are great to have for home protection and as many said before me can be fun to shoot as well!0 -
We have firearms in our home that are kept in a locked cabinet. The only one that stays loaded is the shotgun and that is simply so it is ready in the case it is needed for home protection. Gun safety and education is the biggest essential to having guns in the home and both can be taught at a very early age. My two year old daughter knows that guns cause "owies" and she should not touch them (if they are out of the cabinet to be cleaned, etc. otherwise she can't get to them so this is a non-issue for us); as she gets older and has more comprehension she will learn actual gun safety and learn how to handle them properly.
"Accidents" happen because people do not handle the guns properly and are not taught proper gun safety. With the right education and precautionary measures they are great to have for home protection and as many said before me can be fun to shoot as well!
^^ I agree with this. I am terrified of guns but I have forced myself to learn to use them in case I would ever need to protect myself and my daughter at home when my husband travels.0 -
Appreciating the advice. He is not just looking to have the guns but also in getting a license to conceal them. He has nothing to shoot at. We live in the city. We don't even have a large yard to shoot cans at. I want him to have his grandpa's guns cuz I know how much they mean, but why ammo and a license to carry? I just don't get it I guess.
Guys like guns, lol! Talk to him more about it, he can explain to you why he wants to do that. Also, having a concealed carry permit is a good thing to have. Sometimes carrying a gun on your hip can attract the wrong kind of attention, especially in a city setting. Being able to carry concealed allows him to be able to defend himself (and you!) if he ever needed to without causing undue alarm that most people living in urban settings would experience upon seeing a holstered gun on someone's belt.0 -
First I would say is to calm yourself down and determine what it is about them that terrifies you. Determine what would make you comfortable if at all with them in the house i.e. all in a gun safe, trigger locks on the gun(s) and the ammo in a separate desk safe, gun training to get you comfortable with the gun(s), keeping them at his parents/friends house, etc. Then calmly tell your boyfriend how you feel and that he needs to recognize that this is important to you. Having grown up with them in the house and shooting them since the age of 6 or so, I'm OK with them. I'm NOT OK with untrained people having them at their disposal, that's what causes a lot of deaths/injury with home invasions.
I would also check out your state/county/city laws in regards to the gun(s) and make sure if you do keep them in the house that you follow them i.e. in Illinois we have to have a F.O.I.D. Firearm Owner's ID card to even have a gun (even without ammo) in our possession. In the city of Chicago you are not allowed to have a gun unless you are a police officer.
Whatever you do, don't compromise on something that makes you feel uncomfortable.0 -
We keep them and I feel better about them being in my house. That being said, they are locked in a safe and unloaded, some people say that defeats the purpose but if you load a clip and leave it next to the gun it literally takes 2 seconds to load and chamber if you know what you are doing, if you don't (i.e. my 4 year old) then they can't hurt themselves if they somehow got in the safe. I would also say that if you are going to have them in the house, go to a range and have someone teach you gun safety, it's a priority if you are going to have them.0
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Appreciating the advice. He is not just looking to have the guns but also in getting a license to conceal them. He has nothing to shoot at. We live in the city. We don't even have a large yard to shoot cans at. I want him to have his grandpa's guns cuz I know how much they mean, but why ammo and a license to carry? I just don't get it I guess.
Guns serve a very real purpose - they cannot do you any good locked away disassembled without ammo... It sounds as if you BF has intention of getting properly trained to carry the weapon responsibly and that is a good thing. I live in a city too and we own over 20 guns (handguns, rifles, shotguns) - we have guns for protection and sport. We also have 2 children who have learned and continue to learn the skills related to gun handling and marksmanship. Safety is a top priority - the kids have even been known to correct grandpa on his weapon handling (always double check the weapon yourself, never trust someone else telling you it's unloaded)... Shooting is done at a range here in town or we drive to appropriate place outside of town. Everyone in my family carries and no one has ever had the occasion to have to use their weapon, but there is nothing wrong with being educated and prepared.0 -
Did your dad take you out to shoot them and teach you about proper gun safety and handling? When we hide things from our kids it only serves to increase their curiosity.
My dad taught my brother and I how to operate and safely handle a gun when we were 10 & 8. I owned my first shotgun at 12 and first handgun at 14, and kept them both in my room. I NEVER played with them (and neither did my younger brother) because we were taught how destructive they were, and how to properly handle them.
Education is always better than ignorance.
I have to second this opinion. I was never comfortable with guns before, but my husband owns a handgun and wanted to have it loaded in the house for safety. I asked my husband to teach me about gun safety (he knows a lot.. military teaches you all about that), and he showed me how to operate and handle his gun. Now that I know how to load a magazine, how to properly clear the weapon, and how to handle it (guns should be treated as if they are ALWAYS LOADED and ready to fire) I'm much more comfortable having the gun in the house. Since it's just the two of us living together, we keep it in a dresser drawer, loaded (yes, with one in the chamber), all by itself for easy access. This is for my protection, mostly, since my husband has to travel a lot for work and I frequently am at home by myself for weeks at a time. Guns in the home can be perfectly safe if you understand how to operate and store them properly. Not to mention, learning how to shoot his gun when we went to the range was even more empowering. Contrary to popular belief, guns don't go off by themselves, lol. You have to pull the trigger.
to each his and her own but I would strongly encourage you not to leave it chambered, it takes no time to chamber a round in the case you need it and in a stressful situation you can easily discharge the weapon when unintended. Also leaving a round chambered for long periods can mess up your gun, at the very least rotate your rounds that are chambered from time to time.0 -
Gun safes, child locks and proper training. Guns are our friends... When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.0
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Gun safes, child locks and proper training. Guns are our friends... When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
Amen0 -
to each his and her own but I would strongly encourage you not to leave it chambered, it takes no time to chamber a round in the case you need it and in a stressful situation you can easily discharge the weapon when unintended. Also leaving a round chambered for long periods can mess up your gun, at the very least rotate your rounds that are chambered from time to time.
It depends on the level of training. If you have run countless drills on how to chamber a round in your sleep (figuratively) then I totally agree, but under severe duress of an intruder in your house, or bedroom, the vast majority of casual gun owners will freeze and may become a victim. All the more reason for more training, if you ask me. :-)0 -
Gun safes, child locks and proper training. Guns are our friends... When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
^^^THIS^^^
My wife would shoot me (literally) if I tried to take her gun.
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