Need some emotional support pls re: my weight and my marriag

That sounds very difficult. I agree, how is a girl supposed to feel under those circumstances? Hopefully he pulls his head out of his butt and realizes that your feelings are important...

I'll send you a message shortly.

My suggestion is to get a referral for a psychologist. This sounds like a pretty serious issue from your explanation and I do not have the experience to offer you any good suggestions. What I do know though, is that it will probably make you feel better having a professional that can offer you suggestions and talk to cause it seems like your husband doesn't seem to be listening. Possibly see a couples councillor if you can convince him to go with you.

Wow, I'm sorry about that hun - I'm sure what you're going through is very difficult and I feel that he should be there to support you and stand by your side as you are trying to make these changes to get yourself back into that healthy state. I understand your situation though because my boyfriend was or is just as emotionally detached as your husband and he finally came around when he started to see my progress and I guess it finally clicked that I have become more appealing to other men and my new body has made me more outgoing. Talk to him, ask for his support but if he can't give that to you then you go out there and do this - we're here for motivation and support; feel free to add me.

Have you sat him down and told him how it makes you feel? Dont do it in an accusing way like "you're so mean making me feel like this!!! " but say how it makes you feel rather than blaming him. Then he may open up. Its always better to talk, I know from personal experience that I was so unhappy in my marriage due to how me was treating me, and now unfortunatly we are divorcing. I look back now and wish that I had sat him down to talk. Things may have been different....

WOW! This is a pretty intense situation that you have...I may not be the best person to provide you with any words of wisdom or advice but your post really made me feel for you in your situation. You are on MFP for a reason. You want to lose weight. Is this for you or because you think your husband will love you more? You have moved and you're in a new area...get out there and explore it. Meet new friends. Do things that make you happy (with or without your husband). And lose the weight because you want to, because you want to be healthier or happier or whatever YOUR reason is....not because your husband says you snore or says your unattractive. Doing things you like and losing the weight will help your confidence in your relationship. When you lose the weight (and I say when because you can do this if you put your mind to it), your husband may notice the weight lose and that you've stopped snoring and that you're doing more things that you want to....but then again, he may not. Which is why your motivation to do this can not be becasue of him. There is no crystal ball to tell you how this will turn out...you can hope for the best but you need to feel good about yourself before you can put time and effort into anything else. You can't change a person. People need to change themselves, they need to want to change...you can only do so much--so focus on what you can control...yourself. Don't run yourself ragged trying to please this man. I wish you the best of luck and I truly hope your situation improves.

I was in a similar situation with a man (we weren't married at the time) and it really was the beginning of the end. I don't necessarily mean you should look at it that way, it's just the way it was for me. Aside from how he's acting (a selfish *kitten*) toward you, I suggest you get to the root of your feelings toward yourself and what you intend to do about it. My guess is when you treat yourself with the respect you deserve (again I've always been my own worst enemy), he'll either fall into line or make other arrangements. You must love yourself first, maybe he's just mimicking your own behavior. That doesn't make it ok, mind you. Pick yourself up, get yourself together and he'll have to figure it out for himself. And, lock to door to your room. If he doesn't want to be there with you, then you don't need him to come and go as HE pleases.

First off, I'm sorry that he is hurting your feelings. It can make it hard to work on yourself when you are dealing with other issues in your life or marriage.

After reading your post and then your update about him doing nice things for you I really don't think he is a bad guy. It just is what it is. He was having a rough time sleeping due to your snoring so he took another room. It hurts you, he understands that, but he's not willing to compromise his sleep.
Mean? Maybe. I personally don't think he is trying to be mean though.

I notice a couple of things. If he is not a big communicator it is very difficult for him to tell you how this is making him feel. My husband is not big on communication. I knew that when I married him, as you probably did as well when you were married. You accepted that part of him as it is who he is.
But, now that part of him is becoming a large problem because if he would have talked to you about how he was feeling instead of just assuming you knew you probably wouldn't be as hurt right now.
He's obviously not oblivious to your pain since he was trying to make it up to you this morning.

I really think you should look into yourself and figure out what is making you feel so bad. Is it that he is sleeping in the other room? If he moved back into your room and tossed and turned would that make you feel better? I suspect no.
What you need to do is work on making yourself happy. You cannot be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself.
You are obviously very unhappy about your weight. If he is not mentioning your weight verbally you cannot assume that he feels any specific way. Work on yourself and you will find a happier you and a happier marriage.