Coworkers are sabatoging me

I once worked with a food pusher who would not take no for an answer. Once she baked a birthday cake for a co-worker. This other person was a friend of mine, so I intended to join in singing Happy Birthday and them leaving without the cake. The pusher practically tackled me, shoved a slice of cake in my face and all but told me I HAVE to eat it. I took the cake and on my way out the door threw it very publicly into the trash can. Everyone in the room, including the pusher, saw it. I guess she was embarrassed because she never tried to force food on me again. Some time later, she was fired. Seems she was spending too much time on the internet looking for recipes and not doing her job.

I know I have nothing better to do for the holidays than to think about how many calories my coworkers are individually allowed to consume or whether or not they've reached their quota or will exercise and earn more - and THEN plot ways to destroy their ability to stay on their diets.

You, too???

This is all I think about...everyone else's goals.

It isn't easy resisting temptation, and hats off to all those that have given great advice concerning pushy co-workers. Perspective is also good! That being said, I would like to add that in a community like MFP where support is key I find it disheartening that there were so many negative responses to this thread. If you don't have something supportive to say, don't say it. If you don't want to read about someone's struggle with temptation and co-workers, then just read something else. Snide and obnoxious comments are unnecessary and counter-productive! We area all here to support one another and that has to be number one. We are all in this together and what may come fairly easy to one may be a fierce struggle to another. Let's help each other, eh?

Sorry, double post.

I'd be thankful and flattered that your coworkers love you. Since the beginning of cultural development food has been a vital part of community, if they didn't like you they wouldn't offer.

However, I'm making 4+ kinds of dessert tonight to take into my office for Monday.

Be grateful that we live in a time when butter and flour aren't scarce, be grateful that we have such a surplus people can feed those who don't want food. Be GRATEFUL and don't complain. Don't it eat, take it home and feed it to the neighbor kid or throw it out, do an extra 10 minutes at the gym. Don't complain about too much food. I have friends in Haiti who don't have enough.

My thoughts exactly. Food is a part of our culture and used to show people you care about them. You don't have to eat what they give you, of course, but please be grateful of the gesture and your fortune.

Only YOU can sabatoge you

This. Your co-workers are trying to justify their snacks by pawning some off on you, but unless they're holding you down, prying your mouth open, and shoving food down your throat, it's still all on you.

If "no thanks" isn't enough for them, then "Is there something wrong with your hearing?" is an appropriate response. Otherwise, take whatever they share with you, and put it in the trash -- in front of them. Then, they might get the picture.

Toss it in the trash. Simple.

Yep. Problem solved.

Why do we get so twisted up trying to please our coworkers? I would bet not a one of them would offer to take care of your family financially should something happen to you as a result of obesity.

The only people I need to please are the ones I'm related to--and even some of them can blow off if they come at me sideways.

This is the best part of being vegan - instant excuse not to eat co-workers' crap. "Sorry, that has milk/eggs/animal product in it, but thanks for the thought!"

Otherwise, I just take it, thank them, and then dump it/regift it.

Sorry to disagree with a lot of you. I came to this forum with almost the same exact complaint. Last week I was at a friend's house and she kept offering me a latke (potato pancake that is fried in oil). I politely told her no thank you. She kept insisting I have it. I kept saying no. Polite people ask once or twice and done. When someone is leaving M&Ms on the OPs desk, that IS sabotage. Maybe they are not doing it on purpose, but the fact is, OP told her co-workers no, and they still are trying to get her to eat it. And I am also not buying the holiday baking notice. M&Ms are not something someone made.

Last week I had to make dessert for a friends party, enough to feed 75 people. I was not in the least offended by people who told me that they didn't taste it because it was fattening. I have no problems with it. And yes, I did also bake for all the teachers at school. (I included some low calorie/low sugar treats as well, and labeled everything as such.) Yes, people have a choice what they put in their mouths. But when someone is pressuring you to try it, or leaving it behind for you, THEIR message is loud and clear... we don't care what you want ... our wants/needs are more important.

OP, congrats on staying strong. I came here for help, and I think I figured out what I am going to do in the future. Say no one time and then not answer the question. *I* will be the one who is deaf. LOL. :laugh:

Mugsisme is right but so is everyone else.

It's very easy to get upset at people that just won't stop until you give in and I definitely won't hold it against you if you yell at someone because of it.

However you have to take responsibility for yourself. This is your chance to train yourself on how to deal with this sort of situation. "Throwing yourself in the deep end" etc.

Also, if you give in a couple of times don't hate yourself for it. But you want to get to a place where no matter what happens around you and to you, YOU are in control.

I have the same problem at my work, maybe not as drastic, though. One day I yelled in a semi-funny-serious way "I'm on a f***ing diet!". No one took offence (Australians swear and yell at each other all time) but they did stop offering me the cake.

Now the problem was that if one day I decided that I did want to treat myself and take offered snacks then they'd be upset by the lack on consistency. "You yelled at me yesterday but today you're stuffing your face?!" It's easier in the long run to say "not today, thanks" than it is to get aggressive at people.

One afternoon I help my auntie with her PC (family tech support). I had already eaten dinner and was done for eating for the day.

She insisted I stay for dinner. I say 'no' a few times and she wore me down so I stayed. I put only salad with no dressing on my plate because I knew I wouldn't be consuming so much then.

She then started pushing steak and cheesy macaroni on me. I protested as politely as I could. Yelling was not an option, you DO NOT disrespect your family if you're Lebanese. Finally I let her put it on my plate.

I was so mad. She had no right to push that food on to me especially since I had told her that I had already eaten. No wonder I'm obese, my family has no concept of moderation! I mean come on, two whole dinners in one day?

Yet, it's a game of resolve. You feel bad if you don't take food from someone that insists. Well why should YOU be the one that feels bad? Both of you have a preferred outcome from the situation. Why should your preferred outcome be the one that's unreasonable? Why don't THEY feel bad for pushing food onto you when you don't want it?

Take them and give them to the homeless guy who stands by the freeway exit
or throw them in the garbage.
Don't let small stuff bother you.

To emurano: I totally get the cultural "thing" (for lack of a better term) regarding not disrespecting your family even when they're pushing food on you. However, that is STILL your issue. Not your family's. In so many cultures/families, feeding those you care about is a sign of prosperity, adoration, etc. If you (generic you, not "you" specifically) have decided to buck that tradition, then (IMHO) it's your responsibility to suck it up and not be an *kitten* about it.

Oh absolutely! I didn't mean to give the impression that I'm blaming my family's culture for my obesity. Well I sort of am, but the point I was trying to make (badly I guess) is that no matter what outside influences you have (Leb family, pushy co-workers, biological disadvantages) you HAVE TO take control of your progress and work around these things.

To give the original poster the benefit of the doubt I think she's really just asking for help or venting in order to release that pressure so she can re-focus.

No one is sabotaging you. You make the choice to accept the cookies and junk food and eat it.

They are probably just being nice and used to giving you things like this so don't take it out on them. Just gently say, "no thanks" or toss it, regift it, etc.

People DO do it intentionally though, my coworkers have done the same. I said no to some maltesers, they all know I am trying to lose weight and I know how many calories some maltesers have. Whilst I was in the bathroom they left a big bowl of maltesers right in front of my keyboard! Then they thought it was funny when I got back. I know nobody can force me to eat anything I don't want, but I'd really prefer it if my coworkers respected what I said and didn't try and make my life harder. I avoid having those things around because I don't need the temptation.

This is the best part of being vegan - instant excuse not to eat co-workers' crap. "Sorry, that has milk/eggs/animal product in it, but thanks for the thought!"

Otherwise, I just take it, thank them, and then dump it/regift it.

lol. People also tend to take diets more seriously and not be as insistant if you state it's for a medical reason.

For example. When I was stuck going to luncheons for work and people would ask why I'm not eating, I would simply say, "My doctor has me on a special diet for high cholesterol." then people wouldn't push the issue. PRoblem solved.