Coworkers are sabatoging me

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Replies

  • alimac92
    alimac92 Posts: 705 Member
    If your colleagues have that mindset then just say thankyou . Put the treats in the drawer for later also known as the bin.

    The secret to getting on with your weight loss program at work is to keep it to your self. It is hard to do that because we would like the support and praise from all.

    You will get that support and praise here. :happy:

    Do it for yourself, don't broadcast your intentions and you will find you will stick with it.

    They will be so surprised at how fit and healthier you will be in the new year.

    Don't get stressed enjoy the holiday season :bigsmile:
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    This is the best part of being vegan - instant excuse not to eat co-workers' crap. "Sorry, that has milk/eggs/animal product in it, but thanks for the thought!"

    Otherwise, I just take it, thank them, and then dump it/regift it.

    She is not talking about anything severely restrictive like veganism... she is talking about people who didnt accept "No thank you" for an answer to bad food choices... and milk, eggs, meats are not bad foods....
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    I'd be thankful and flattered that your coworkers love you. Since the beginning of cultural development food has been a vital part of community, if they didn't like you they wouldn't offer.

    However, I'm making 4+ kinds of dessert tonight to take into my office for Monday.

    Be grateful that we live in a time when butter and flour aren't scarce, be grateful that we have such a surplus people can feed those who don't want food. Be GRATEFUL and don't complain. Don't it eat, take it home and feed it to the neighbor kid or throw it out, do an extra 10 minutes at the gym. Don't complain about too much food. I have friends in Haiti who don't have enough.

    You didnt read the post entirely if you think she is complaining about being given food, in general.

    She is complaining because the coworkers didnt take 'no thank you' for an answer and willingly decided to keep pushing the food on her.

    It doesnt matter whether or not they knew about her weight loss efforts.. the simple fact that she said "no thank you', and yet THEY keep pushing the food is the real issue. THAT is wrong.

    Those coworkers are just like our family members who feel the need to keep pushing food on you. They are just as low and equally rude if they refuse to listen and continue to push the food.

    Ive left family members' homes from their dinner table when they would continue to push me to have food. And when they ask me why Im leaving, I tell them the truth!!! "Sorry but I cant stay here if you cant understand what 'no thank you' means and I should only have to say it ONE-time and that's it. "

    I dont even care if there are in fact people out there who are just looking for the person to try it and hope they like it.. I dont care. They can tell me all they want how their feelings were hurt because I wouldnt try their dish - but thats too damn bad.

    The OP has people she works with that dont give a rats' *kitten* and willingly ignored her 'no thank you' and kept pushing....

    THAT is rude and unacceptable.
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    She is not talking about anything severely restrictive like veganism... she is talking about people who didnt accept "No thank you" for an answer to bad food choices... and milk, eggs, meats are not bad foods....

    Sorry if my post was unclear - I was simply saying that generally, I find that people are less insistent if I tell them I cannot have something because I'm vegan than because I am trying to lose weight.

    Also, my choice not to exclude milk, eggs and meats from my diet doesn't have to do so much with their effects on my body as it does with concern for animal welfare.
  • kellyb63
    kellyb63 Posts: 108 Member
    Take a brown grocery bag to work. Put it at your desk. When someone insists leaving unwanted food at your desk, just pick it up put it in the grocery bag when they walk away. You know what to do with the grocery bag.
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    Take a brown grocery bag to work. Put it at your desk. When someone insists leaving unwanted food at your desk, just pick it up put it in the grocery bag when they walk away. You know what to do with the grocery bag.

    "This grocery bag will now self-destruct."
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    The OP has people she works with that dont give a rats' *kitten* and willingly ignored her 'no thank you' and kept pushing....

    THAT is rude and unacceptable.
    The world is full of rude people.

    You cannot control them, you can only control how you choose to react to them.

    Personally, I find it makes me far happier to choose to be strong and rise above it and firmly follow my own chosen path, than to get angry and upset and rail against the world.
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    Really though... your coworkers probably could give two dumps what you're doing. They don't really care that much about you. When most people leave work that's it. They don't spend time with you after work, they're not your friends and really they don't care.
    Why should they? I'm sure you feel the same way about them, so why do you think they'd care if you're on a diet or trying to lose weight?

    Do you go home and wonder what your coworkers are doing? No.
    They're not jealous, they're not trying to sabotage you.
    They're just being nice at work and giving out food because that's what people do at holidays. It happened last year, it will happen again next year and the year after that.

    I hate to break it to you and all the haters out there but your coworkers lives don't revolve around you and what you're doing.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    Really though... your coworkers probably could give two dumps what you're doing. They don't really care that much about you. When most people leave work that's it. They don't spend time with you after work, they're not your friends and really they don't care.
    Why should they? I'm sure you feel the same way about them, so why do you think they'd care if you're on a diet or trying to lose weight?

    Do you go home and wonder what your coworkers are doing? No.
    They're not jealous, they're not trying to sabotage you.
    They're just being nice at work and giving out food because that's what people do at holidays. It happened last year, it will happen again next year and the year after that.

    I hate to break it to you and all the haters out there but your coworkers lives don't revolve around you and what you're doing.
    This
    Every single word of it.
  • LeeDahlen38
    LeeDahlen38 Posts: 120 Member
    Nahh they aren't intentionally trying to because it gains them nothing. If you want to be polite and yet turn the tables in a funny way, Say "hey thanks but I'm on a strict dietary regimen so by next year I will be as HOT AS YOU, and this just isn't in that plan!" They will probably be speechless and yet you made their day as well! Lee #NoexcusesLetsgo
  • stevwil41
    stevwil41 Posts: 608 Member
    Out of curiosity, can you honestly say your coworkers weren't like this before you started eating healthier? If you can, then yes, they are being jerks. Otherwise, you're probably more aware of what's being offerred than you used to be.

    Dieting/eating healthy (whatever you want to call it) is a personal choice and it's unrealistic to expect everyone else to change their habits because you're changing yours. Short of you forcefully and rudely telling your coworkers to leave you alone they're probably going to keep doing what they've always done. It kind of sucks but it's human nature.

    My suggestion would be if you want the treat, take it and have a bite. If you don't want it, a "thanks but no thanks" or a "I'm full but I'll try it later" should suffice. Short of them holding you down and force-feeding you it's ultimately your choice what you eat and if you hope to sustain a healthier lifestyle long term then you're going to have to make similiar food decisions for the rest of your life.

    Good luck.
  • Just to clarify for some of the posters who don't think your co-workers are trying to sabotage your weight loss efforts, here is the definition:

    Sabotage is a deliberate action aimed at weakening another entity through subversion, obstruction, disruption, or destruction.

    Granted, this is the holiday season and people do like to bring in treats to share, but if your desire to maintain your diet has been expressed and it is known to everyone, what else would you call trying to force someone to accept your food gift? I turn down food all the time at work. The people accept my response and keep it moving, but to leave food anyway on the person's desk is just mean-spirited and childish. These people are not your friends, but then again you didn't reference them as such. Going forward, I think the brown paper bag would be a great suggestion. Just make sure someone SEES you putting it in the trash, so they will get the message. You must be looking really good for them to go to all this trouble. LOL.

    I promise you, "grown" people are worst than children sometimes.
  • jao99
    jao99 Posts: 2
    you can just take the food home with you and throw it away later! or you can just give it to somebody else
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 22,112 Member
    I chimed in on this earlier, but I wanted to add something. I've had better luck getting people to stop pushing food by not mentioning dieting at all. I start with "No, thank you." And then if someone pushes or questions why, I'll say "Because I really don't want it." It's hard to push food on someone who has flat out said they don't want it. If you just say you "shouldn't" have it, they may think they can talk you into it, because deep down inside, you really want it.
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    I would probably just bring in a pretty jar or container and start to collect the food in it saying "Thank you! I'm collecting the food in here so I can enjoy it later" to the sharing co workers. Then would bring the bag home to give to a family member or friend who would enjoy it and telling them how much they are helping me out with my goals while they can enjoy the food. Or you can donate it to a church, food bank etc.

    It's a great time of year but there is a lot of temptation too :flowerforyou:
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    No one has sabotaged you, the only way anyone can make you eat anything is if they hold you down, pry your mouth open and shove it down your throat. You have the choice to eat it or not.

    My husband brought the family out to McDonalds the other night while we were doing Christmas shopping, no one made me eat there, no one made me eat a big mac and fries, nope I had a snack wrap, not my first choice, and not something I ever really care if I eat again, I make my mind up on what I put in my belly. So do you. If you don't want to eat it, then don't eat it. No one can make you say no, you have to tell yourself to say no. It's a little thing called Will power. No they should respect you and not put the stuff on your desk, but if they do, dump it out, you don't have to eat nothing you don't want to eat, obviously you wanted to eat it if you ate it.



    I didn't eat it.
    If you didn't eat it, then no one sabotaged you.
  • cheshirechic
    cheshirechic Posts: 489 Member
    I confess that I haven't read all of the posts. But this is what I would do:

    I would say "Thanks!!! I'll get to it later." And then just leave it on my desk. OR, I would say "Thanks for the offer, but I'm saving up for Xmas/New Years Eve/Etc.!" At our big holiday party after work, I brought an apple to eat since I'd already had lunch. Some gave me looks, and I still obligatorily brought stuff to share, but I didn't partake. Also, when a coworker offered me a donut, I told her that "I'd rather cry myself to sleep." Harsh, but a little self-deprecating humor (for me at least) goes a long way

    Let them know you're preoccupied with actually doing your job and not being a food pusher, like everyone else.

    This makes me sound like a complete jerk (especially to my coworkers), but I usually default to declining gracefully before using any of the other above "tactics." Best of luck, and know you're definitely not the only one struggling! <3
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
    I think they have sat there too long watching you eat all of this food, so don't really believe in you when you say you seriously wish to change. Its up to you, isn't it? If you want them to believe you, believe in yourself, and refuse the food politely. If they really shove it on you, for instance leaving it on your desk - easy - if you're serious - bin it. Blatantly. Because you don't want it.
    If you end up wanting it they just think see, that fat girl, she won't last on her diet.
    Prove them wrong. and take responsibility. I never eat that kind of food really,even around this time of the year, and really no one would even bother offering it to me because they know I"ll just say no. So if you say no and mean it, often enough, they'll get the message.
    don't tell them you're on a diet. you're on a lifestyle change. It needs no justification. Diet insinuates that one day you'll start saying yes to it all the time, and you never will, will you?
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    Just to clarify for some of the posters who don't think your co-workers are trying to sabotage your weight loss efforts, here is the definition:

    Sabotage is a deliberate action aimed at weakening another entity through subversion, obstruction, disruption, or destruction.

    Granted, this is the holiday season and people do like to bring in treats to share, but if your desire to maintain your diet has been expressed and it is known to everyone, what else would you call trying to force someone to accept your food gift? I turn down food all the time at work. The people accept my response and keep it moving, but to leave food anyway on the person's desk is just mean-spirited and childish. These people are not your friends, but then again you didn't reference them as such. Going forward, I think the brown paper bag would be a great suggestion. Just make sure someone SEES you putting it in the trash, so they will get the message. You must be looking really good for them to go to all this trouble. LOL.

    I promise you, "grown" people are worst than children sometimes.

    Yeah... you're right.

    Your coworkers have nothing better to do then go home and think of ways to make you fat.
    I know when I go home I spend at least 4-5 hours thinking about my coworkers and how to make their lives miserable because my life is so empty that's all I have to think about. My first thought every night as I'm leaving work is, "Gee, let me spend X amount of hours and X amount of dollars just so I can make so-and-so fat."


    See how ridiculous that sounds? Are you even listening to yourself? No one is out to get you/her. Your coworkers really don't think about you after they leave work. By your rationale every person who works with the OP... every person in that office has nothing better to do than think about ways to screw her over. Yeah, that sounds realistic.

    Come on now...
  • LJV1031
    LJV1031 Posts: 502 Member
    I have coworkers who are JUST like yours. I will usually say no to most things but if "no" isn't readily accepted I may take it and say I'm going to eat it after I _______ (wash my hands, see a patient, eat my dinner, etc etc etc). If it is something that I MAY want I'll keep it and eat it if I can fit it into my plan, if it is something that I don't want, I dump it in the SECOND nearest trash can... usually wrapped in tissue. I'm sure they aren't being malicious but in a way are sabotaging your weight loss since you've expressed to them that you are trying to lose weight. You've received lots of good options here, so I hope you find one that works for you. Just remember, you're strong enough to overcome the weight AND the holidays.

    My favorite options you recieved :
    1. Put everything that they give you into a paper bag, then make it noticed that you toss it in the trash. (Harsh, but effective).
    2. Put it in a box and donate it.
    3. Toss it when no one is looking, just be discrete.

    (Didn't read everything, I'm sure there are some more good ones) :wink:
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
    I have a coworker who will not take no for an answer. If you say "No thank you", he will stand there, arm outstretched with the offending brownie in his hand and stare at you. If I repeat it, he'll say "come come! It's good!" (maybe it's cultural, he's Dutch).
    It took me a long time to learn that I have to insist and say "thank you" and just not take the bait. I have explained to him several times that it is extremely important that I have complete control over what goes into my mouth, and what he assumes is "just a little bite" messes with this control. He doesn't get it. Never will. (he weights 150 lbs soaking wet). He thinks I am an uptight American.
    It is human nature, or perhaps mine, to be compliant. But I risk offending him as much as he offends me and I just refuse. If he keeps insisting, I take it and set it aside.

    I think it is extremely rude to continue to insist when the person says "no thank you". But there are rude people in the world, that's just the way it is. You can't control them, but you can control the way you react to them.
  • kimtpa1417
    kimtpa1417 Posts: 461 Member
    This happens at my job all the time. Friday it was a girls bday and they brought her cake. When she offered me a piece I said I would love one but will pass. If they leave it on your desk after saying no just toss it and if they get upset let them know how you feel. Its nice they at least offer to you and I dont believe they are sabatoaging you. Only you have that control.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    If you want to be polite and yet turn the tables in a funny way, Say "hey thanks but I'm on a strict dietary regimen so by next year I will be as HOT AS YOU, and this just isn't in that plan!" They will probably be speechless and yet you made their day as well! Lee #NoexcusesLetsgo
    That's brilliant, it doesn't offend anyone and gets the point across. In some ways it's far easier to refuse food from slim people.

    Can't use that line now I'm at target weight, saying to my colleagues (who are overweight and who do offer me far more sweet crap than is healthy) "Hey thanks but I'm on a strict dietary regimen so by next year I won't be as FAT AS YOU" would be grossly offensive! :bigsmile:
  • I think you're right about people wanting you to eat it to make themselves feel better about eating it.

    But also, some people express their feelings through food and find it hurtful when you say no to them. Its almost like you're rejecting them, not the food. In that case, I always "gushingly" make sure I tell them how wonderful it looks and how much I really wish I could eat some, and this usually works.
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
    Just to clarify for some of the posters who don't think your co-workers are trying to sabotage your weight loss efforts, here is the definition:

    Sabotage is a deliberate action aimed at weakening another entity through subversion, obstruction, disruption, or destruction.

    Granted, this is the holiday season and people do like to bring in treats to share, but if your desire to maintain your diet has been expressed and it is known to everyone, what else would you call trying to force someone to accept your food gift? I turn down food all the time at work. The people accept my response and keep it moving, but to leave food anyway on the person's desk is just mean-spirited and childish. These people are not your friends, but then again you didn't reference them as such. Going forward, I think the brown paper bag would be a great suggestion. Just make sure someone SEES you putting it in the trash, so they will get the message. You must be looking really good for them to go to all this trouble. LOL.

    I promise you, "grown" people are worst than children sometimes.

    Yeah... you're right.

    Your coworkers have nothing better to do then go home and think of ways to make you fat.
    I know when I go home I spend at least 4-5 hours thinking about my coworkers and how to make their lives miserable because my life is so empty that's all I have to think about. My first thought every night as I'm leaving work is, "Gee, let me spend X amount of hours and X amount of dollars just so I can make so-and-so fat."


    See how ridiculous that sounds? Are you even listening to yourself? No one is out to get you/her. Your coworkers really don't think about you after they leave work. By your rationale every person who works with the OP... every person in that office has nothing better to do than think about ways to screw her over. Yeah, that sounds realistic.

    Come on now...

    Nobody has claimed that our coworkers are thinking about harming our weight loss efforts all the time - or that they focus or obsess over it at all. We are just saying that they can be deliberate about offering a person who is on a diet junk food (rather than just being nice and friendly) and that it's frustrating and rude.
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