Quit telling people to "suck it up"

You know, I love MFP because I see so much support, and then every now and then you get a hard *kitten* telling people to get over their problems, suck it up, and lose weight. While they're probably telling the bitter truth, they should know it's not that simple, and it's not that nice.

People have baggage, and the ones who carry it on their tummies or hips are here to try and get better: mentally, physically, and maybe spiritually. No one is perfect, and they are coming to MFP to try and garner support that they may or may not be getting in their home life. Managing weight is not easy for everyone, and if it was, there would be no MFP to begin with!

So when you say things to these people like: buck up, suck it up, get over yourself and just do it..... it doesn't help.

But if you say: you can do it, yes you can, hang in there.... it helps.

I'm sure this has been said before, sorry if it's repetitive, but I've seen it too much in the forums and it's been bothering me a lot.
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Replies

  • HerpDerp745
    HerpDerp745 Posts: 223 Member
    You know, I love MFP because I see so much support, and then every now and then you get a soft *kitten* telling people to yes you can, hang in there, and you can do it. While they're probably not really helping, they should know it is that straightforward, and it's not going to be easy.

    People have baggage, and the ones who carry it on their tummies or hips are here to try and get better: mentally, physically, and maybe spiritually. No one is perfect, and they are coming to MFP to try and garner support that they may or may not be getting in their home life. Managing weight is not easy for everyone, and if it was, there would be no MFP to begin with!

    So when you say things to these people like: you can do it, yes you can, hang in there..... it doesn't help.

    But if you say: buck up, suck it up, get over yourself and just do it... it helps.

    I'm sure this has been said before, sorry if it's repetitive, but I've seen it too much in the forums and it's been bothering me a lot.
  • fridayjustleft04
    fridayjustleft04 Posts: 851 Member
    Not everyone responds to soft, sugar-coated words. Some people actually do better when you tell them to suck it up. You have to know who you're talking to and what works for them. Motivation/support isn't one size fits all.
  • lovinbutterflys
    lovinbutterflys Posts: 131 Member
    Hi. First off let me say I am new to this site so I have never written any of this posts to tell people to suck it up but I am firm believer in the saying. Maybe it is because my dad is a retired Marine and my husband is currently a Marine that makes me the way I am. Life has it's up's and down's period. Truth be told no one like a person who is always acting like they are the only one's with problems, we all have different things going on in our lives and we all find ways to handle it. Time stops for no one and it is sad if you spend it feeling down and out. i do agree EVERYONE has baggage but it is over due for some people to lighten the load. Mentally of physically it slows you down in life. I really hope I am not coming off mean or anything b/c I am not trying to be I just hope that you understand not all people who say suck it up mean to be mean. Like I said not trying to seem like a jerk but I hope you understand my point of view for being one of those "suck it up" people.
  • angjindra
    angjindra Posts: 77 Member
    I totally agree with you! Its different for everyone! I have been struggling for a while and its very easy to get off track, and you dont need those people putting their not so nice, two cents in :)
  • SimplyShanRunning
    SimplyShanRunning Posts: 885 Member
    Would you care for some cheese??
  • I agree, partially. Sometimes being a little more sensitive is appropriate. Sometimes, the person needs a kick in the *kitten* and told to just suck it up. For instance, yesterday I got up at 4AM to work out working with less than 4 hours of sleep. I told myself to suck it up. Sometimes, it's just the answer.
  • agleckle
    agleckle Posts: 235 Member
    I think it depends on the person. There is a difference between someone who legitimately puts forth 100% effort and is experiencing a plateau and other people who eat garbage and never work out and then whine and try to get pity from the MFP community.
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
    worlds-smallest-violin.jpg
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    WOW. The first response reminded me why I never bother to come on these boards anymore!

    MOCKING her? Really? I love how you have expressed your disagreement with her statement.

    I don't care which way you believe but outright MOCKING HER?

    Immature bullsh|t.


    OP: I'm with you. I take encouragement with a pat on the back better than a militaristic GTFO it.

    And with that, I'm back off these stupid boards.
    ... Except I came in to edit and ended up reading more of the same.

    MFP years ago had caring individuals invested in helping each other, supporting each other.
    Today is appears to be full of trolls.

    *smdh*
  • voguextc
    voguextc Posts: 23 Member
    You know, I love MFP because I see so much support, and then every now and then you get a soft *kitten* telling people to yes you can, hang in there, and you can do it. While they're probably not really helping, they should know it is that straightforward, and it's not going to be easy.

    People have baggage, and the ones who carry it on their tummies or hips are here to try and get better: mentally, physically, and maybe spiritually. No one is perfect, and they are coming to MFP to try and garner support that they may or may not be getting in their home life. Managing weight is not easy for everyone, and if it was, there would be no MFP to begin with!

    So when you say things to these people like: you can do it, yes you can, hang in there..... it doesn't help.

    But if you say: buck up, suck it up, get over yourself and just do it... it helps.

    I'm sure this has been said before, sorry if it's repetitive, but I've seen it too much in the forums and it's been bothering me a lot.

    Successful Troll is Successful
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    Not everyone responds to soft, sugar-coated words. Some people actually do better when you tell them to suck it up. You have to know who you're talking to and what works for them. Motivation/support isn't one size fits all.

    This, I would rather have someone tell me to shut up and just do it than someone who pats me on the head and says "hang in there, it will get better."
  • This
  • TempeB
    TempeB Posts: 43 Member
    Unfortunately, quite a few people enjoy having an excuse to be vicious and hurtful. It's easy to forget the Golden Rule, that you shouldn't say something to someone else that you wouldn't want said to you.
  • Elixandra
    Elixandra Posts: 299 Member
    Would you care for some cheese??


    Yes please. :happy: I like cheese. :tongue:
  • I agree with you. There are a lot of really rude posters on here.
  • Lily_1
    Lily_1 Posts: 38
    Grandmother told me what other people think of you is none of your business. So motivate yourself. Self-motivation and discipline is ultimately one's goal anyway. Your brain actually controls everything anyway! A strong mind leads to strong actions, weak minds lead to weak actions. It all begins with a thought. Everything begins with a thought.

    Instead of tearing down and judging others we as people should be united. If we are not, we are only hurting ourselves.
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,519 Member
    The truth will set you free
  • HerpDerp745
    HerpDerp745 Posts: 223 Member
    Immature bullsh|t.

    Reported for name calling!
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    I agree with you. There are a lot of really rude posters on here.
    There are a lot of really thin-skinned posters on here. They should suck it up.
  • lexibelk
    lexibelk Posts: 83 Member
    You have to know who you're talking to and what works for them.

    Yup, so if you don't know them, how do you know which they want/need?

    You should get to know them before telling them to stop whining, or if they want cheese.
  • Elixandra
    Elixandra Posts: 299 Member
    WOW. The first response reminded me why I never bother to come on these boards anymore!

    MOCKING her? Really? I love how you have expressed your disagreement with her statement.

    I don't care which way you believe but outright MOCKING HER?

    Immature bullsh|t.


    OP: I'm with you. I take encouragement with a pat on the back better than a militaristic GTFO it.

    And with that, I'm back off these stupid boards.
    ... Except I came in to edit and ended up reading more of the same.

    MFP years ago had caring individuals invested in helping each other, supporting each other.
    Today is appears to be full of trolls.

    *smdh*



    ^^ This for sure.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Resolution: If you need to be handled with kid gloves, only friend people that coddle, and maybe a therapist... If you take well to being told the honest truth from people you trust, friend people that don't fvck around.
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
    smiley-happy080.gif[/url] WTG everybody smiley-happy080.gif[/url] Flowers, rainbows, kittens, and puppies for everybody!
  • BobbyClerici
    BobbyClerici Posts: 813 Member
    In an open forum where there is a bunch of pathetic sniveling, expect those who have it together might say "suck it up" - reach down and take ownership of your issues.

    I suppose you could create a closed group with members that all coddle each other instead of trying to get you to face your problems and assume responsibility for your life.

    Me? I need a good slap in the face with reality from time to time.

    So please! If anybody hears me crying the blues and moaning about life, tell me to...SUCK IT UP!
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    Immature bullsh|t.

    Reported for name calling!

    Eat it.
    Thanks for the heads up there, tattle tale.
  • SimplyShanRunning
    SimplyShanRunning Posts: 885 Member
    You have to know who you're talking to and what works for them.

    Yup, so if you don't know them, how do you know which they want/need?

    You should get to know them before telling them to stop whining, or if they want cheese.

    So then why post this thread??? You knew you would get this reaction! Perhaps you would be better in a private group....if your feelings are hurt so easily.....Only a suggestion :flowerforyou:
  • WarriorMom2012
    WarriorMom2012 Posts: 621 Member
    In my opinion, the coddling is what is harming people. This is a site for adults. You must be 18 to join. As an adult, having "friends" help make excuses for your lack of determination doesn't help.

    Me: I was in a bad mood so I ate an entire bag of cookies.
    You: That's ok. I understand. Do better next time.
    DOES NOT WORK!

    Me: I was in a bad mood so I ate an entire bag of cookies.
    You: Everyone has bad days. Maybe if you exercised, it would help get you out of your bad mood. Not having cookies in the house will keep you from eating the entire bag. Get off your *kitten* girl and go for a walk. You'll feel better about your decisions.
    DOES WORK!!

    See the difference there. When my kids fall down and start crying, the first question we ask is "Are you hurt or are you injured?". If they answer that they are hurt, the response we give them is to brush it off, suck it up and go play. They quit crying and don't end up being victims.

    Just my two cents :flowerforyou:
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    People are motivated by different things. Some respond best to gentle words, while others need a kick in the *kitten*. Personally, the overly sweet encouraging reminds me of, "It's okay, have a cookie" Doesn't help much.
    Life is hard and all bleeding stops eventually.
  • WarriorMom2012
    WarriorMom2012 Posts: 621 Member
    Immature bullsh|t.

    Reported for name calling!

    Eat it.
    Thanks for the heads up there, tattle tale.

    I thought you left?
  • stcar
    stcar Posts: 207 Member
    WOW. The first response reminded me why I never bother to come on these boards anymore!

    MOCKING her? Really? I love how you have expressed your disagreement with her statement.

    I don't care which way you believe but outright MOCKING HER?

    Immature bullsh|t.


    OP: I'm with you. I take encouragement with a pat on the back better than a militaristic GTFO it.

    And with that, I'm back off these stupid boards.
    ... Except I came in to edit and ended up reading more of the same.

    MFP years ago had caring individuals invested in helping each other, supporting each other.
    Today is appears to be full of trolls.

    *smdh*
    I agree, some people are just bullies by nature.
This discussion has been closed.