I bet your bf/husband is really pleased

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  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
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    I think the reason women make comments like that is really to make single women feel bad that they don't have a man to be pleased with their weightloss.

    ???? HUH???? :noway:

    Thats a joke right?

    Yes...just like this topic...
  • marycmeadows
    marycmeadows Posts: 1,691 Member
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    Oh I think anyone who got on here or lost weight at some point for a man (or significant other) was doing it for the wrong reasons - and it won't last..... neither will the relationship! *Just my opinion*

    When you make a lifestyle change, it should be for you -- to make your life better and get healthy -- of course we all have motivators.... being around for your kids - that's a great one -- but to please someone else -- NOT a good reason! Your partner should love you for you..... and be supportive of what you are doing - but it should not be a requirement for their love. :)
  • MrsNoir
    MrsNoir Posts: 236 Member
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    Well, I'm one of those married women whose husband shows he is very pleased and proud of me for losing the weight. Not for myself,but because he can show off wife now.. or because he feels the need to show off wife. It's a bit sad, as as you said, in a way it implies that he is only with me because of my looks?. Well, that's good and that's bad at the same time. Good: I'm the same, I can't blame him, if he suddenly became fat, I wouldn't feel like going out clubbing with him or things like that, perhaps. Bad: Because it makes you feel somehow bad with your own self for not looking as good as he thinks you could do. However, when he proposed I was overweight, so I guess he married the potential slim woman in me, as he met me years and years ago when I was a bit slimmer than when we started dating. So yeah, he still loved me loads while I was chubby, but you can tell when he finds me fitter, because he says so every single time he sees me lately "wow, you're looking great" "I love your awesome bum" ... instead of the "you look pretty today" or "you're beautiful", now is more like a combinatio of both "wow, you look so gorgeous, pretty, slim, I'm so proud of you for losing the baby weight so quick, well done"... And yeah, I tell him... "That sucks, that means that I looked like crap all these last year, then?", it really saddens me, but at the same time.. who doesn't want to feel desired and complimented 24/7?

    I'm losing weight mainly for myself, that's something I always wanted to work on, but I can't deny that I've been nagged by my hubby somehow.. my mother too... but after all, they are right, they only want me to feel better with myself, and that's why we are all here. Not only my hubby feels proud of me, my mum will too, and even my son will feel proud of me. I guess it's because FIT equals Healthy in body and mind. "Mens sana in corpore sano", and one feels a lot better with themselves once we've taken the pounds off. :D
  • 2Bgoddess
    2Bgoddess Posts: 1,096 Member
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    "I bet your husband is really pleased"

    -you bet your @$$ he is. I think my husband is wonderful. He loved me before, he loves me now. I say I am doing this for me, but I also have to say that my awesome husband DESERVES a healthy, happy and SEXY wife!

    Someone just says "you look great", it's too generic. It is totally just a filler. Starts a conversation.

    I like a compliment I got recently. "Wow, you look fantastic. 62 pounds? wow, I am really really happy for you. Actually, I am pretty damned happy for Scott [my husband] right now!" I thought is was hilarious and genuine.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    Someone said this to me, and I was actually flabbergasted at how rude it was.

    Firstly my husband loved me just as much with some padding THANKS, Secondly, I didn't lose weight to make myself more attractive, and thirdly, it's not like we are suddenly at it all the time just because I lost 2 stone. In fact it has made no difference to our lives in any way, because finally it is irrelevant.

    It's such an incredibly offensive thing to say, on every possible level.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    Code for: sex must be hotter now!

    exactly!
  • MDWilliams1857
    MDWilliams1857 Posts: 315 Member
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    All you have to do is go to the success stories thread and you can see why people lose weight. They do it because they want to be attractive. Thats why women post pics in their bikinis and guys post with their shirts off or rolled up to show off their abs. People can deny it all they want but everyone wants to be found attractive. And there is nothing wrong with that.
  • andreabball
    andreabball Posts: 90 Member
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    If i could speak on my own personal experience, well since I have dropped some weight and started working out I feel better, i have more confidence and I am starting to look so much better therefore radiating confidence and awesomeness which is a helluva lot better than a depressed *****y overweight person that i was. Which in turn makes my husband want to be around me more and in turn causes he and i both to be a lot more happy.

    Its a viscious cycle.

    I do care what my husband thinks. I am not however killing myself at the gym for him. Thats for myself. The rest is a bonus!

    ^^^^^Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!!^^^^^
  • xMedullaOblongatax
    xMedullaOblongatax Posts: 136
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    I have lost 10 lbs., and my fiance is very proud to see I'm making progress. It doesn't make me mad if people tell me "I bet your fiance is really pleased!"

    It's because we know why I'm losing weight, I know *ALL* of the reasons why he's pleased and it's not just because I'm slowly looking better.
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    It's just guys trying to see if she's single







    well said:p
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    Funny how many of you are so defensive that you have gone on the attack.

    Chill out people, I never said that getting or giving compliments was bad but just personally don't think that guessing their partners opinion has anything to do with what THEY have acheived.

    It has nothing to do with how great your husband or bf is or how pleased they are about your weight loss in real life so no need to get stroppy over it. But unless they are posting on MFPon your behalf, forcing you to do the exercise & controling every bite you eat then any acheievement is yours alone, personally I think you be given all the credit for it .
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
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    Funny how many of you are so defensive that you have gone on the attack.

    Chill out people, I never said that getting or giving compliments was bad but just personally don't think that guessing their partners opinion has anything to do with what THEY have acheived.

    It has nothing to do with how great your husband or bf is or how pleased they are about your weight loss in real life so no need to get stroppy over it. But unless they are posting on MFPon your behalf, forcing you to do the exercise & controling every bite you eat then any acheievement is yours alone, personally I think you be given all the credit for it .

    Agree - it should be 'wow, you should be really pleased with yourself'
  • gunmetalsunrise
    gunmetalsunrise Posts: 131
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    It's also pretty hetero- and cis-normative, to boot.

    Personally I would prefer not to get the compliment, as it implies I did it for them, or if they didn't prefer me beforehand. I did this for me, and no other. *shrug*
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
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    I've read several bogs & forum posts of women who have lost their weight or posted about their progress so far & alot of them have replies along the lines of "wow, well done, I bet your husband is really pleased"" or something similar.

    It bugs me quite a bit as it implies that 1) they only lost weight for the benefit of their bf or husband 2) that the person losing the weight should only feel proud of their achievement once they have received validation from their bf or husband 3) that their husbands or bf were somehow dissatisfied with the person before the weight loss.

    This isn't some feminist agenda but I rarely see this comment made on male MFP'ers posts charting the same achievement & it is always made by women, so I just wondering what this type of comment implies?

    I gotta be honest, I have to disagree with this original post a bit. See, I believe what is good for the goose is good for the gander, just the same if you can say it about a girl, you should be able to say it about a guy. I have lost about 45lbs using MyFitnessPal, and yes, becoming healthier was extremely important to me, but I also appreciate what my gf feels about my results. I can tell, and she has indirectly stated to me, that she finds me more attractive than before I lost the weight. I appreciate her comments on this very much so. Just the same, When people state something about how your significant other feels, it gives you a secondary reasurance that you do look better, and makes you feel that much better. I dont really believe this is at all a sexist thing at all. I believe its simply a way to validate someone. If anything, it could be a comment on someones codependence on their partner, but I have to disagree on the whole man v woman part
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    Your first post:
    1) they only lost weight for the benefit of their bf or husband 2) that the person losing the weight should only feel proud of their achievement once they have received validation from their bf or husband 3) that their husbands or bf were somehow dissatisfied with the person before the weight loss.

    Your Next post:
    It has nothing to do with how great your husband or bf is or how pleased they are about your weight loss in real life so no need to get stroppy over it.

    Well.. maybe opening post could have been worded a bit more carefully, as I am not sure how else you would expect someone to think.

    I am a little confused though your statements seem to contradict each other :)

    Sorry that my posts confuse you. I think the part you probably skim read was "in real life".

    Also you may have missed that my original post was to do with the commenters not the commentees.

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