Your Thought On Age Difference?

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Replies

  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
    Once you're of legal age (which in this country is 16) then it's fair game and whatever floats your boat - not sure why everyone seems to think they can judge.
    I'm 21 and if a 17 year old girl with sufficient maturity came along, I wouldn't put the brakes on it simply because she's 17. However, it's unlikely that would happen so other than a physical attraction, I can't really see what a 31/17 year old would have in common.

    Also, for the idiots who say they'd pull a pistol on the guy, congratulations on your maturity.
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    Someone of legal age dating someone under 18 is completely not right in my opinion. But at 21 years old about to be 22 in a few weeks the age gap is not a huge problem for me now. But at 17/18 years old I was in no way considering dating someone in their 30s even let alone late 20s... Now at 21 going on 22 I wouldn't even date pass 35 years old max (and that's even pushing it!!!)
  • missjoci
    missjoci Posts: 412 Member
    Age gaps are fine, but not when one of them is underage or still in high school. That just seems disturbing. Once people reach their full maturity, I say date whoever you want. Age gaps over 15 years personally creep me out though. I'm 25 and I couldn't imagine dating a 40 year old. I'd probably stick around 28-35 for my age range. I think it really depends on who you ask.
  • AmeChops
    AmeChops Posts: 744 Member
    I'm 28 and my husband is 42...we've been together for 9 years and married for 3 years :-))
  • sullivann
    sullivann Posts: 199 Member
    It depends, like other have said, if it's borderline child then yeah...no. But age is really just a number. My boyfriend is 28 and I'm 21, and everything is working out great. He's just at the right maturity level for me. haha
  • Amber82479
    Amber82479 Posts: 629 Member
    I started dating my husband when I was 19 and he was 28 :) For us, it worked out great! Although, I will say, we had a very rough road for many years because I was still growing up and so was he.
  • annabellio
    annabellio Posts: 127 Member
    I have always dated way younger only because they think I am their age- so now I'm *trying* to date my own age - and frankly my own age don't hang where I hang (at rock shows) so I went online cause that's what peple do I guess and I just have nothing in common with any of them - help me am I twisted?
  • annabellio
    annabellio Posts: 127 Member
    When I was 18, I dated a 33 year old. Great guy, but the age difference broke us up because we only shared a few mutual friends and I was limited as to the things I could tag along to do.

    Only time I dated someone older was when i was 18 and he was 33
  • Itsallbs15
    Itsallbs15 Posts: 262 Member
    My husband is the oldest person that I have ever dated. He is 13 years older then I am (I'm 30, He's 43). It is not odd at all; HOWEVER, my step-daughter is 19 dating a 31 year old and I find that completely ludicrous. (Yes, I know that makes my hypocritical) My husband and I met in the military and were both very focused on working and the things in life that do not revlove around alcohol, clubs, drugs, and parties. I believe that a 30-something should be focused on a career and over the partying lifestyle that 18/19 year old live. What kind of life can a 30-something offer if he is out in the club acting like a teenager? I don't get it.
  • doobabe
    doobabe Posts: 436 Member
    I had to read the 1st line like 3x LOL I thought he is dating his own second teenager :laugh:

    Me too LOL Then I thought Uhm............. criminal? I dont know what the laws are there, but here thats illigal.................
  • Clairew27
    Clairew27 Posts: 1
    Ive been with someone 36 years older than me since I was 22 now im 27 and he is 64 nearly. Never thought I'd deal with the age difference but I dont feel it really. Know its going to end at some point though as I want kids and to get married, but for now we're both happy, dance together, eat together :o/ and play - its all good fun for now....
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    It depends entirely on the individuals and how they met. My brother was in his mid-20s when he started dating his ex-wife, who was 16. But they'd gotten to know each other gradually... she was the sister of his best friend's wife. It's not like he was sitting outside of schoolyards in an unmarked van with candy. :wink: They married when she was 19, and had a son a year later. The relationship didn't work out, and I'm sure her age had something to do with it because she thought she was missing out on something. But the age difference wasn't the problem. His second wife (I hate to say it like that... it sounds like there's going to be a third, fourth, etc... I think of her more as his TRUE wife) is a year younger than his first, and they've been married 11 years now.

    On the other hand, there's guys who go for girls because they're young and impressionable, and young and impressionable girls who believe these guys like them for their "maturity." That's not always the case, but it's not always NOT the case, either.
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    Girls go for older guys up to a point - when you first start dating there's a HUGE maturity gap between 18 year old girls and boys. After 40, I think women tend to have a younger attitude than men of the same age, so it swings back the other way. Hence I used to date a few years older, married someone the same age in my mid-20s then post-divorce mostly dated younger.

    My current squeeze (OK partner of three years) is six years younger than me :drinker:
  • sarahkbarnes
    sarahkbarnes Posts: 70
    My husband is almost 12 years older than me and we've been together since 1999! It was a bit weird when we first started going out when I was 19 and he was 31, but the gap soon closed. The weirdest thing back then was trying to mix our friends, but it hasn't been an issue in years.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    I hope the teenagers he is dating are of legal age.
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
    statutory. that is all.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    double post - sorry
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    At 19, my boyfriend was 34. I have a friend who's 30 and her husband turns 60 this month. My neighbors when I was a kid were 12 years apart and had been married forever, with four kids.

    It's funny that when I did it, it didn't feel weird. And I don't think it's weird when people I KNOW do it. But reading your post made me cringe.

    Honestly, I think 17 is pushing it. In some states, it's the legal age of consent, but if it's not where you are, he's setting himself up for a jail term. I would hope that at the very least, these girls are out of high school. That makes it a little less creepy to me.
  • geraldm55
    geraldm55 Posts: 130
    I had to read the 1st line like 3x LOL I thought he is dating his own second teenager :laugh:

    thats awesome rofl!!!! thanks you just made my day.

    have an amazing day everyone

    Gerald
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Okay, So my daughters father who is 31 is now dating his second teenager. His first one was last year and she was 17 he was 30 at the time. Now at 31 he is dating an 18yr old. I have said nothing to him, but I find it a wee bit odd that a man of his age cant find someone his own age.

    But on the same hand my cousin is 26 and dating a man who is 58.

    Again I find this odd, but now curious....whats the youngest/oldest person you've dated and how did that work out?
    It's not odd.
    Teenage girls of legal age are hot. That's when you ladies look the best you'll ever look.
    At some point it becomes creepy though.

    If a teen girl came on to me at age 47, my first reaction would be "what is wrong with this girl"?
    But age 31? No problem if he can draw them in.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    I think woman should marrie younger men. That way when they are old there wouldn't be so many widows because men die younger.

    Seriously, I don't think any teen should be dating.
  • diaryoffatdad
    diaryoffatdad Posts: 175 Member
    the international dating rules state that in order to find one's lowest age possible for a morrally correct mate, that you take your age and divide by 2 then add 7 (always round down in cases of not whole divisions) so basically a 31 yr old should not be dating an individual less than 22 a 40 yr old can date a 27yr old and a 20 yr old could date a 17 yr old and so on........
  • kelly81082
    kelly81082 Posts: 59 Member
    My husband is 16 years older than I am. He just turn 45, I'm going on 30. He has 2 kids that are closer to my age than he is but we've been married for almost 8 years and its been wonderful. I wouldn't change it for the world.
  • emilydmac
    emilydmac Posts: 382 Member
    I am 19 and dating a 30 year old and I really don't care. I think he is wonderful, and since I definitely don't act like a 19 year old, and he acts way younger than a 30 year old, it works. That said, if it isn't the right situation, it can be weird.
  • DixieDarlin1987
    DixieDarlin1987 Posts: 553 Member
    Well, I've always been into older men, I guess because I was very mature at a young age (and I mean mentally AND physically). My mom says all the time that I am an "Old Soul". Got my partying out really young. I'm married to a man 19 years older than me. We've been together for 6 years and married for 2. We have a son, grown up jobs, a nice house and so much love for each other. I definitely think it depends on individual circumstances and if one party is under age then it's a big no no....period. But if everyone is old enough, and it works for them and makes them happy, then no one else has any room to judge. Live and let live I suppose :smile:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    the international dating rules state that in order to find one's lowest age possible for a morrally correct mate, that you take your age and divide by 2 then add 7 (always round down in cases of not whole divisions) so basically a 31 yr old should not be dating an individual less than 22 a 40 yr old can date a 27yr old and a 20 yr old could date a 17 yr old and so on........

    There's a "morally correct" age difference???
  • Rubyinthesand2012
    Rubyinthesand2012 Posts: 92
    When i was a teenager 16/17/18 i dated a few older guys the eldest being 32 when i was 17...he would pick me up from school in his flash car which i thought was cool.
    as i got older i dated people more my own age.

    At 27 i met a guy who i thought was 25 it never cam up in conversation i just assumed, i fell head over heels we moved in together within a few months and were married in less than a year....it was only when we were filling in details for the wedding bands i saw his date of birth...he was 9 years younger than me...i nearly called the wedding off but he tallked me round saying age was just a number.....we divorced after 18mths
  • wellbert
    wellbert Posts: 3,924 Member
    If it's legal, who cares?
  • kyle4jem
    kyle4jem Posts: 1,400 Member
    I really don't care who he dates. He isn't a figure in my daughters life so I am not worried about it. But I am really curious how often this happens. If I was 17 I wouldnt look twice at dude who was over 30 and had a kid.
    Clearly it does bother you or you wouldn't have posted the question in the first place.

    But that's ok... after all he is your daughter's father and whether or not he has any direct influence in her life at the moment, you're bound to have concerns and that's only natural as a mother.

    I can play devil's advocate here: on the one level it depends on the maturity of either party. Is the 18yr old mature for her age? Or is your ex a manboy who's never grown up. (just cos he's fathered children doesn't necessarily make him a responsible adult)

    On the other hand, is it just dating or are they having sex? What seems ikky and gross to one, is perfectly ok to another. At 18 she may be sexually mature and know what she wants and may not be the innocent party. As long as she's practising safe sex and having regular health checks then it's her business and nobody else's.

    Some young women look older and some older men look younger; so the age difference is not so obvious!

    Anyhow, I don't know either party so I can't make a judgement call. Age is only a number although there are other considerations to be made such as whether or not the older party is in a position of authority (teacher, cop etc)

    I know that personally I wouldn't go for anyone younger than me but when I was younger I fancied men who were much older than me (and still do... my husband is 7yrs my senior and joke that I'd never leave him for a younger man, but if Sean Connery were on the market... well that's another story :laugh:)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    When i was a teenager 16/17/18 i dated a few older guys the eldest being 32 when i was 17...he would pick me up from school in his flash car which i thought was cool.
    as i got older i dated people more my own age.

    At 27 i met a guy who i thought was 25 it never cam up in conversation i just assumed, i fell head over heels we moved in together within a few months and were married in less than a year....it was only when we were filling in details for the wedding bands i saw his date of birth...he was 9 years younger than me...i nearly called the wedding off but he tallked me round saying age was just a number.....we divorced after 18mths

    You agreed to marry a man when you didn't even know how old he was?
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