Brutal Honesty - What was the final straw?

I think that it sneaks up on most of us. Builds and builds until the dam breaks. My dad had a heart valve replaced this summer and he's type 2. Weight leads to both of those. I also have a new job that requires Dockers. And all the creases caused by the gut are much more apparent than with jeans. In the service my arches crashed (in itself not life ending), but the rotation of all the bones led to back problems. I ended up on Vicodin last month because my back went out. What was different than normal was that it stayed that way for nearly 3 weeks when it was normally less than 1. the gut shelf had finally unbalanced everything. Plus the wife broke out the pictures the other day and found my bootcamp picture. i feel like 2 of that kid could inhabit my current britches. I want to be able to run up the stairs again without spraining an ankle!!

My friend told me we were going to Las Vegas for her bachelorette party. I didn't want to be the "fat girl" in the group, because I knew all of the other girls who were going are super skinny and gorgeous. So I decided that was the kick in the *kitten* I needed, so I could go and have fun, and not have to worry about being the fat/ugly friend in the group, lol.

For the past several months I have been going through a period where I have had to re-evaluate my life and my goals. I've been thinking about all that I really want to accomplish... and how I wasn't able to accomplish being where I was.

My mother got up to 318 and ended up having gastric bypass surgery.. I didn't think it made much sense for me to NOT learn anything at all from her experience. I felt that I could easily end up in that same place, and I just didn't want to go there.

I realized that in order to teach my children good habits, I had to SHOW them good habits.

I just got sick of worrying about how my weight would affect me each day... what would happen that might embarrass me? would i see someone today that may say something rude? etc etc.

I've learned to FOCUS. Despite all that is going on around me.. I've cut out all the extras that I don't need. Deactivated my facebook and turned to MFP instead, stopped watching TV, and stopped beating myself up when I didn't do something perfectly that day. This time, no matter how long it takes, I will achieve my goals. I won't let my weight hold me back anymore.

And as someone else mentioned, I do want to be the mom who plays with my children, goes hiking, runs marathons, etc etc. I want my children to desire the greatest things in life, without the fear to go after those things.

An accumulation of events such as when I was at my husband's company's Christmas party and the band that was playing would only let the skinny girls come up and dance and sing on stage with the lead singer. The lead singer actually said no to me and let three other "hot" looking girls on. I have an awesome voice and I am pretty too! Little things like that have happened to me over the last several years. Until finally, one day, as I was picking up some things I had left behind at my last contract job, I noticed my reflection in the window. OMG, who was that Jabba the Hutt wearing my clothes! That was me! I finally saw myself as others saw me. I was soo embarrased and repulsed. I got my gear, got into the car and drove home as fast as I could. It took me a while to stop throwing a pity party for myself ( I just ate whatever I wanted for 2 months ) and realized I am only hurting myself. Thank the Maker that my husband loves me for me but I obviously didnt love me if I kept hurting myself like this. So, now I am on the road to a healthier me and I WILL NOT STOP THIS TIME nor will I look back.

The final straw for me it happened back in August of 2011 I

Here is some more history of what is going on my partner told me that I am heading in the direction of my mom as I am gaining weight. It. I used to exercise and did a little bit a fewdays ago but not consistent. I am heading in the direction of my mom this was pointed out to me today it hurt alot but the person that said it to me I know loves me. I had a really bad day today was scared that something bad was happening to me. About 12 I got reallly cold and got the chills and could not anything about it, was having a hard time breathing not as bad now but still am a little bit, was having back and leg spasms. I
dealt with it for an hour on my own and I think I was making it worse by getting upset. So I finally text Mike and we talked about how I was feeling and he did not think I needed to go to the doctor. This episode scared me when Mike came home he let me have it he told me he would hurt my feelings but he was trying to get me to wake up and do something about it. It got to the point where all I have been doing is doing little things around the house and going to work other than that I sleep for about 8 hours or so and I sit in the computer chair and do stuff on the computer. Last night is the first time I have done something
outside of work I went to our union Keep in mind I said I did not want to wind up like my mom as she died of being big and congestive heart failure. So I know he loves me. I love my mom dearly but I do not want to give up on life and die at a early age and most of all don't want to have to rely on someone else to take care of me.

This is what I have been up to since August 2011

I have lost 46 pounds to go but have at least another 100 to lose but I am not thinking of the big picture I break it down one day at a time. I plan my meals out the night before or the day before because I work nights so my days and nights are opposite of most as I am sure you can tell when I post the most is when most of you are sleeping. I do exercise but I am also exploring what caused me to eat its not that I just wanted the food. I am figuring out what is eating me so I can learn to resolve in other ways than turning to food. I have made awesome friends on here and also belong to OA. I have alot of support and love in the room and don't know where I would be without my sponsors. But most importanlty take it one day at a time and break it down to smaller attainable goals. I am finally under the 300 pound mark and have not been there in years.

I come froma family of big people and my mom was a remarkable woman but she was very heavy and she gave up on life and died in her early 60's. She is one of my biggest motivations as I want to live a long healthy life where I can take care of myself and be a pain to my partner of eight years. I am doing this for me as I am stubborn at times and don't want to be taken care of by others and I want to live life to the fullest. I also want to live it for my mom too she was a special lady but her time never came well she was here on Earth and I miss her terribly but I am here and I am going to do a marathon some day.. I am doing my first 5 k on January 21st with my dog STymie (son) I will walk it but I am in training as I drop more weight I will be able to pick up my speed. But we all have to start some where. Start out small and you will be amazed at where that takes you my friend. Hope I did not ramble to much just wanted to share as this is not my time around the block I have lost 100 pounds in the past but did not keep it off as I never figured out what was eating me I just ate it!!!! Have a fablous day.

Hope to hear from you and I work nights so I am up when the world is sleeping so to speak lol I also am training to do a 5 k on January 21st hope to be one of many this year. This one I am doing with my dog Stymie he is my son and very spoiled. It is for a Resuce group that helps dog finds home etc etc so it should be a great day.

I live in Augusta GA with my partner Mike of almost Ten Years its a long time lol. I love to chat and talk just ask him so feel free to send me a message or ask questions here. This is what the group is for.

Have a glorious night

Larry

For me it was my doctor telling me I could have heart attacks, painful pregnancies and diabetes. And then he told me he thinks I have PCOS. Immediately my mind switched and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. He was brutally honest with me and it has changed something in me for the better!

My double chin and horrible vacay pics

But!!! Before this, I'd already tried. It was MFP that helped me figure it out. Life changing tool right here

I have a VERY active 4 year old son. I have a husband who has lost (through healthier eating and exercise) 64 pounds in the last 18 months. I want to be here for my son. And my husband has inspired me in such a way that, if he can lose that much weight with healthier eating and exercise, then I can too.

I also HATE looking at myself in mirrors. Especially when clothes shopping. So, I'm working hard this year to get healthy. My goal is to be able to ride rides at Disneyland with my husband and son, rather than having to split up to ride.

All through high school I was always between 120-125 lbs at 5'6 . I was a workout fanatic! I went to the gym 4-5 times a week and played soccer 2-3.

That ended when I injured my ankle. From that point forth, soccer was a thing of the past, and the gym seemed to fade along with it.

It wasn't until 2-3 years ago that I noticed any change. I remember getting dressed and my jeans were a little snug - no big deal; water weight, that TOM, ate or drank too much yesterday? All came to mind.

Well not long after that, I put on one of my favorite fitted sweaters and noticed a little muffin top had baked itself and was occupying the room (plus some!) where my flat stomach used to be. Not to mention those jeans that were snug before, didn't even make it past my upper thighs now.
But it didn't stop there! I just kept gaining... making unwise food choices, drinking, and not getting enough physical activity.

Over the past couple years, I told myself (and everyone else) that I was going to lose the weight.. Didn't happen and it wasn't getting better. I had hit 180 at 5'6 at age 22-23. It finally hit me once and for all not long ago. Nothing that I owned fit, or if it did, looked horrendous. I hated shopping (which I've always loved) and I hated what I saw in the mirror (where did these 2 chins come from?! And the muffin top is now a fully inflated tire?!). I've never had to worry about what I would put on in the morning, and now here I was changing my outfit 4-5 times because i despise the way I looked. I hated running into people I knew from high school / university. That was it for me.

I started to go to the gym at work at lunch with a co-worker (who is ridiculously fit). Thanks to him pushing me to go, I lost 11 pounds by doing just cardio (no weight training or food monitoring). Still its not nearly enough! I've vowed to start adding in weights and watching everything I eat.

Another big motivator for me is that my best friend is getting married in September, and being her Maid of Honor horrified me. All I could think about were her wedding photos and how I'd look like a blimp compared to everyone.

She also has helped motivate me to really start eating better and get back into shape.
I think this time instead of just talking about losing the excess pounds, I'm actually going to do it!

I have a small goal of hitting 160 by the beginning of Feb (which I am well on my way of doing, I was 168.6 this morning!) and a bigger goal of hitting 140 hopefully by September for her wedding!
So far, so good!

Great topic! And thanks to everyone who shared, it is so nice to know others are in the same boat and so supportive!

My last straw? Thinking that I had developed Barrett's esophagus (a potentially precancerous condition) and knowing that losing weight was key in making sure my reflux disease was under control. I found MFP in November and haven't looked back.