Brutal Honesty - What was the final straw?

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One day, I was sitting in the car with my boyfriend Nich and I don't remember how we got onto the subject of it but I broke down in tears about my weight. I was about 285 at the time. I was so terrified of cresting 300 lbs...which due to pregnancy did eventually happen. We must have sat in the car in freezing snow and cold for an hour and he just sat holding me, assuring me I could lose weight if I wanted to and that he'd lose some with me.

After I had lost 15 lbs, we found out we were pregnant with our daughter. As my weight increased the doctors were warning me about blood pressure and c-sections. Twice while I was pregnant I went to the emergency room. Both times because I had barely walked for 20 minutes at a very slow pace, and my heart accelerated like I was running 25 miles per hour. All through out the pregnancy I thought how badly I wanted to lose weight.

After our baby Scarlett was born, I quickly dropped from 343 to 304 within 2 weeks due to breast feeding and losing all that water. I had the spark to lose weight, but that was the rush of oxygen that made my weight loss goal into a fire.

The various lumps in my back that cause me sometimes(most times) excruciating pain when I sit/stand/lay in the same position for more than about 20 minutes.

My doctor thinking its okay to hand out opiate painkillers like they're candy, without even giving as much as a clue how I should go about losing this extra weight.

I don't want to be my dad.

My cousin "tagged" me in a fb picture. I had obviously seen pictures of myself before that but for some reason that one hit me like a ton of bricks. I also booked a cruise that say weekend and decided that I didn't want to go on that cruise as the "big girl"

Being embarrassed last summer to walk around the pool at our apartment complex in a bikini really did it for me. I have vowed not to feel that way again this year!

For me I can't place a finger on the specific straw that broke the camel's back. It was a combination of things. I was diagnosed with PCOS, a condition that can greatly impede the ability to have children, especially when overweight. Along with that diagnosis came the pre-diabetic warnings. I still didn't listen to the warning signs, though, and I let myself get to a point of complacency. I don't pretend to speak for all overweight people, but I know for myself, I got to a point where I had nearly convinced myself that I was happy as I was. Sure, it sucks having to shop on the plus size rack, but I'm not as big as some people, so who cares...

In the tail end of 2011, I made a drastic career move. I took more than a 50% pay cut in order to get into an industry and career path that is so RIGHT for me. Immediately I was happier, less stressed, and more excited about all that life has to offer. As the year ended and I continued training and getting "ramped up" in my recruiting job, I started thinking: "I'm so much happier now, happier than I've ever been...but I am so unhealthy that I can't truly enjoy my life as I should be!"

I ultimately decided that if I could make such a frightening decision as I did with my career, and have it actually pay off the way that it has, then I owe it to myself to get healthy once and for all. Weight loss is my primary focus because of all of my current health risks, but this is not a fad diet/force exercise and water down my throat/going to get sick of it inside of a week type of a journey. I'm in this for the long hall, slowly transitioning myself to an overall healthier lifestyle. Some goals for the next year include: beginning on my weight loss journey to lose 128 lbs (I don't expect to reach this total goal in the first year, but I definitely want to make great progress), get and stay more active (both with exercising and just doing more of the things I love), adopting healthy, well-balanced eating habits, quitting smoking, and making more time for me!

For me it was a couple of things.

I was standing naked in front of the mirror, scrutinizing my every flab, fold, bulge and impurity. I noticed I had more then just the silvery/reddish stretch marks, but I also had a really deep purple one on my stomach. I cried.

On the first family holiday my whole family has ever been on, I had to stand and take pictures, pretending I was scared of the ride as I had already been told I was too big, as the rest of my family lined up.

Recently, my younger sister (12) was being teased at school, because her older sister (myself) was a 'fatty'.

And finally, I was wearing black jeans and looked in the mirror. I had what looked like an extra huge, bulge of fat in the front (Like an apron I call it). Absolutely disgusting and gross. Never again.

I won't get to the point where I am too heavy for the scales, and I was only 11 kilos away this time one month ago.

It was years of verbal abuse, rejection, my marriage ending because I was fat, being hit with type 2 diabetes, that caused me to finally kick it into overdrive and become human again.

Good for you but damn tell the ex wife from me that she's friggin STUPID!!! lol You are gorgeous!

For me it was two bigger things, and a bunch of little things:

1) In September 2010, I had an OBGYN annual exam, that determined an abnormal pap (abnormal cells) that would require a follow up exam and possible biopsy every four months until it went back to normal, and my doc told me the only way to fight it (and reduce the risk of it turning to cancer) was to eat right and exercise (to boost my immune system).

2) In October 2010, we had our engagement pics done, and I looked horrid in a few of them...you can totally see the extra weight around my waist, my double chin, etc etc.

Now, I can happily say, after having to go to the OBGYN every four months since September 2010, and having a biopsy done EVERY time, my last appt was in October 2011 and she said my cells are back to normal!!! (I have lost approx. 87 lbs since September 2010). So, I am happy about that, and hopefully it will stay that way!

Seeing pictures with family over the holidays. I didn't like what I was seeing at all. And I'm usually the first to jump in a picture....NOt anymore.....not until I am comfortable looking in the mirror again.

I feel blessed in many aspect of my life - wonderful husband, two healthy pregnancies resulting in two handsome sons, great executive job at a young age, own a house by age 22, loving and supportive parents and extended family, but I never focused on my health. After having two children in two years, my body changed and it was harder for me to hide the extra fat. I knew my husband could tell all the weight I've gained (not from kids, but just through the 6 years being together - about 40lbs) and tried to talk about it with me and I broke down crying everytime. For almost a year I skated away from the subject with him because I was in denial of what I let myself get to. My husband never pushed me, but he wanted me to do it for me and now I am. I am so happy with my progress in the last 2.5 months and so is he.

I've never felt confident enough to wear a bikini without a tanktop and shorts over it. I'm getting married this year (Sept 15th), and I want to look & feel the best I can possibly be. It would also be nice to be healthier since I'm only 23 and I'm out of shape (which is really unacceptable). I am motivated to do this! I really want this motivation to stay...even though it's only been a few days. I want to see results and feel confident again

Waiting to board a connecting flight and being called up to the help desk and asked if I had to buy a second plane ticket on the previous flight. It's the type of thing you hear about, but when it actually happens to you...

for me it was the fact if i didnt drop the weight i was about to lose my job and of course with the job market out there and im the main sourse of income of a family of 7 i went into panick mode and all the years of tring the newest fad out there and my weight going up and down but couldnt lose more than 10-15 lbs i decided that was enough and went to a dr and got put on a great program and i am now within the weight i need to be to keep my job but still a little ways to go

There have been a lot of little straws...

-Spending my birthday in tears because I was reminded I wasted another year as an extremely sub-par version of myself.
-Having stretch marks and needing to buy "mom jeans" but not having any kids.
-Feeling like I cant be outgoing and bubbly because people will see me as the loud fat girl.
-Realizing my goal has been to be invisible rather than to stand out.
-Going to the doctor for a follow up visit..only to find I'd gained 30 pounds since my last visit....I went right home and found the MFP app and have been here every day since. No looking back!