Sabotaged at home

You just have to learn not to eat it. I know it's hard, but your wife has the right to eat what ever she wants to eat and it's not really fair to expect her to curtail her habits to match your desires. Would it be nice if she did? Sure. But you've asked her not to bring unhealthy food home, she's chosen to bring it home anyway, and you can either respect her choice or fight with her about it. In my personal opinion, it's best to let things be- you govern your choices, she governs her choices. You don't have to eat the bad food she brings home.

I don't have a wife (or a husband), but I do have a sweet roommate who is constantly making/buying goodies. She always offers them to me, and sometimes pleads with me ("come on, you've got to taste. It's wonderful") and I often do have a little bit of whatever she's offering... but not always. I am perfectly capable of saying, "Wow, that looks fabulous, but you know I'm trying to lose weight, so I'm going to pass. But thanks so much for offering."

I sometimes joke about people trying to sabotage my diet, but the truth is, I am the only one capable of sabotaging my diet.

Does anyone else feel like they are being sabotaged by the people they live with? My spouse just does not seem to get that I am trying to lose weight, she keeps buying the unhealthy stuff and the candies and junk food, even when I have asked her not to and to try to help me eat better. Anyone else having this problem and how do you deal with it?

I've been able to avoid eating 90% of the bad stuff. Chips tend to get eaten rather fast. BUT I'll try to allot them or limit them to cheat days

Not really, but he does bring home pizza sometimes. I can do without that, though I'm pretty good about controlling myself with the portions.

ROFL....I totally have to youtube now

To the OP...I do feel your pain. It is hard. My husband, while being supportive, is also really good at the "you're doing really well, one cookie won't hurt" and things like that. So it is hard, but I have to just learn to say no, and while he's laying in bed eating cookies and candy I'm either not eating or noshing on a fiber one bar and guzzling water and herbal tea.

It is me on the diet, not my husband, I cannot expect him to not eat certain things.

I know I am trying to lose weight, but I also know that if I start eating crappy stuff and sweets, cakes and biscuits etc, then I won't lose it at all but will just put more on.

In my own opinion and from my own standpoint, I control my eating and just because there may be chocolate biscuits in the pantry, because my husband put them there for himself, does not mean I have to eat them.

When I lived at home with my mom I felt like that. She would always bring my favorite cookies into the house. I always felt irritated that she brought junk in the house and then she wanted to go out to eat all the time. Not good ways to loose weight.

I undersand this. I had to have an argument about why I wouldn't have some pie the other day. I didn't want to waste my planned dinner calories on junk. It was incredibly frustrating, but at the end of the day I was so proud that I stood up, said no, and I didn't eat it. Just stick to it, do some shopping on your own, and maybe have a discussion about it. (However I suggest not over the food in question, pick a calm moment. I was highly irritated about the pie thing - of course I want to eat some pie but I'm being responsible! lol)

Hmmm...I wonder if it's just my mind set. If my husband picks up treats for himself, I think of those as 'his' and not for me to touch, so him eating that stuff doesn't bother me so much. Also, I make sure to allow myself certain snacks if I want them, just within moderation.

When I first started this, I had a friend that started it with me. We went to the store one day and I caught her eyeing the candy aisle longingly. I asked her if she was craving chocolate. She admitted she was but said she couldn't have any. I dragged her back to the aisle and showed her that a single serving of the candy wouldn't hurt her calories.

I believe that if you always tell yourself you can't have stuff, you'll just crave it more. It's a psychological truism that we want most that which we cannot have, whether it's the shiny new car that is beyond your budget or the bag of Hershey's kisses on the kitchen counter.

Now I'm not at your house or in your head, but it is true that you can't force your wife to change. The only person anyone can change is themselves. I can't say for certain what might work for you, but maybe thinking of those things as 'okay to eat in single servings' or like in my case 'that's not mine, don't touch without permission' might help. It's worth a try.

I usually sabotage myself.

Me too

I am a bit by my husband.

While I do the shopping etc and I respect that he isn't ready to loose the weight he has also put on and will buy him the treats that he likes, he quite often tries to force me to eat the stuff he is as well.

So you buy him treats he likes and rather than respect you for doing so, he tries to force you to eat it too???

I would stop buying him the treats.

Yes I feel that way. I think some people fear changes, that somehow you will change. Hopefully you could encourage your wife to make the same healthy choices and you both can make the changes together.

Does anyone else feel like they are being sabotaged by the people they live with? My spouse just does not seem to get that I am trying to lose weight, she keeps buying the unhealthy stuff and the candies and junk food, even when I have asked her not to and to try to help me eat better. Anyone else having this problem and how do you deal with it?

When you make a major lifestyle change, you are often the only one who "gets it."

Even the most supportive people in my life right now, aside from my wife, will do things like, have a dinner and bring out a cake and offer me a piece. I have to say no now, and people are shocked. Why? Because a year ago, I would have eaten two or three pieces and taken the leftovers home, if asked.

I would not risk introducing stress into your marriage over this. Just drop the subject, and strengthen your will to eat well. Temptations will be around you everywhere you go, and if you can't resist it at home, you won't last long anywhere else, either. I'm certainly not saying it's easy, but it's really the only way.

In my own life, I've tried to get healthy multiple times over the past 10 years or so, and every time I failed after just a couple weeks or a month. People have seen that, and now they expect me to fail and don't take me seriously. Even now, I've been on the right track for 9 months, and people still offer me crap and don't think I can do it. That lack of faith in me actually fuels my drive and fortifies my willpower, for some reason.

It takes time for people to adjust to any change, and you can't and shouldn't force anyone else to change with you. If you are too tempted, start by setting a small, achievable goal, such as have one small "bad" thing per day. Then when you feel ready, drop that down to every two days, then every week, then once a month, etc. This really worked for my wife when she was changing her eating habits, and now she rarely ever eats crap food. Myself, I found that I naturally, quickly, progressed away from even desiring bad food (most of the time) in order to protect the time and effort I have invested into exercise. And a good tip (at least it worked for me) is, after a while of eating clean, overindulge in junk a day to the point where you feel sick. The resulting nausea, stomach pains, cold sweats, and jitter is sure to put a stop to your temptations.

Just do your own thing. It's going to be hard, but you'll be better for it in the long run.

Mom brought home krispy kremes tonight while I was at the gym busting my *kitten*. I came home to half a box left. If they're still there in the morning I'm throwing em away!

I'm super lucky - my partner is amazing. He's really supportive of me and excited about the changes I am making. He is also grateful for anything I put in front of him for dinner.

It was funny tonight - I made baked potatoes, chicken breast stuffed with spinach and feta, with stir-fried green veges and a red wine jus. He was like "man, this is so delicious, it must be a billion calories". I laughed and told him it was actually really well-balanced, with almost no fat, and he was amazed. I even had room for dessert and a hot chocolate!

I'm grateful every day for my wonderful boyfriend, because I know that other people struggle with spouses who dig their heels in about food.