Is he trying to sabotage me!
kelzz33z
Posts: 17 Member
Ok I need to turn the will-power up by about 500%, husband brought home bakery large cinnamon rolls,
Pop tarts, mini donuts. Again I know I should be able to not eat this just because it’s in my house, but it’s hard. The pop tarts being the worse, not sure why those darn iced pastries but they seem to call out my name, “Kellie come and eat me….” I know very sad. I will just need to take it one minute at a time and see how I can do.
He knows that poptarts are my weakness and he hasn't bought them in forever, until the last 2 weeks, and I know he has seen me measuring out food, and watching and tracking every food that I eat.
I need help any suggestions, and I have already asked him not to buy that kind of stuff in the past when dieting.
Pop tarts, mini donuts. Again I know I should be able to not eat this just because it’s in my house, but it’s hard. The pop tarts being the worse, not sure why those darn iced pastries but they seem to call out my name, “Kellie come and eat me….” I know very sad. I will just need to take it one minute at a time and see how I can do.
He knows that poptarts are my weakness and he hasn't bought them in forever, until the last 2 weeks, and I know he has seen me measuring out food, and watching and tracking every food that I eat.
I need help any suggestions, and I have already asked him not to buy that kind of stuff in the past when dieting.
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Replies
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Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again
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Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again
I totally agree.0 -
Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again
I totally agree.
I don't agree. That would be very passive aggressive and will cause higher tension and issues between them.
I am of the mind set that only YOU can sabotage yourself. This is our journey, not anyone elses. We have to do what is best for us, but we can not dictate the lives of those around us. Our weight loss journey should not be anyone elses. To force our views on others is just wrong.0 -
Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again
Ditto, not a very supportive chap, is he insecure?0 -
Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again
Um. Yah... that's a good way to keep harmony in the marriage
Look... your husband has a right to eat however he wants. If he's bringing home junk, than that's his right. He is not trying to sabotage you. He just wants to eat goodies. He doesn't feel like making the life-style changes that you're trying to make just yet.
This 'sabotage' business that I keep seeing is silly. You're an adult. Eat it. Don't eat it. The real world is filled with all sorts of temptations. Think of this as good practice. If you can drive past Crispy Kreme when the hot light is on, you can ignore the donuts sitting on your counter.
I am having a hard time with my diet right now too. I've clearly not mastered the art of self-control. But guess what? It's my own damned fault and it's nobody else.0 -
I feel the same as you. My partner is thin and so is my daughter. Every time i have tried to diet in the past he hasnt wanted to help. This time we sat down and talked about it. He knows my weakness is fizzy drinks and I used to drink about 3 big bottles a week at least. So the new year started and he now lets me have 2 cans of pop a day instead of how much i was drinking. The rest i drink is water. He cooks as I cant due to my illness so I never know what goes in to the food.
You should tell your partner exactly how you feel and hope that he takes notice. Make him eat the things and see how he feels afterwards. Make him feel like you do and im sure he would soon turn around. Either that or waste the stuff like the other two have said. But that is a waste of money...0 -
They have little 100 calories poptart bags they may help when u have a craving0
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His behaviour with food detering you of your will power may be out of fearof losing you, im not love expert but im sure he isnt trying to sabbotage your diet intentionally, a good chinwag in deeper terms about your intentions and his should do wonders
ps...your not the onlyone who has a weakness for tarts ;-) . . . . . strawberry pop tarts all the way
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He knows that poptarts are my weakness and he hasn't bought them in forever, until the last 2 weeks, and I know he has seen me measuring out food, and watching and tracking every food that I eat.
I need help any suggestions, and I have already asked him not to buy that kind of stuff in the past when dieting.
While he may have seen you measuring your food, have you actually talked to him about what your goals are? My significant other has no real interest in nutrition or talking about food (he's never had a weight issue in his life), but he was more than willing to sit down and listen to what my goals are as far as my health. Once we talked, he directly asked what kinds of things he could do to help and support me.
Don't assume that he knows what you are trying to do or that you are serious at your attempts to get healthy. Talk to him.0 -
My husband LOVES to bring home Oreo cookies... and not just the minis, or small package, he'll bring the regular large bags of oreos and keep them right on the counter... and he takes SO long to eat them that they'll stay there for over a week. Same with pastries as well. He's from mexico, so it's custom for them to eat sweet breads/pastries in the morning with their coffee, and I've taken a liking (more like addiction) to them as well, but he buys them every other day so they're ALWAYS there.
What *I* do is I ask him to hide it from me. Whether it be in the microwave, in the oven (I don't bake often lol), or in his closet of he has to lol Of course, my man is very secure and very supportive, so he'll happily oblige.
Out of sight, out of mind... most times, anyway. Maybe ask your hubby to hide it from you because you're doing really well and you don't want to ruin it with a 200 calorie pop tart... or, in my case, 400 calories worth of delicious oreos lol Explain to him how important it is for you that you lose weight/eat healthy and that him bringing home goodies doesn't help you. Of course he IS free to eat whatever he wants and YOU need to learn how to control yourself, but marriage (relationships in general) is all about compromise and if he loves/supports you, he'll understand and maybe keep the goodies somewhere you can't find them, and not even tell you about it so you don't know that it's there.
Good luck!
Love and Alohas,
Ihilani Kapuniai0 -
I agree take the stuff and throw it out. Then tell him how it makes you feel. Don't keep inside.0
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Only you can control what goes in your mouth. They will not stop making these treats, and you cannot avoid them. Find a strategy that works for you and use it.
I have a journal in which I write about my feelings. No one has access to it but me (it's on my computer.) When I am agry or tense or upset or frustrated or whatever negative emotion, I go there and write until I figure out where it is coming from. It works.
Maybe ask him to hide them from you? I'm hoping he would agree to that. I doubt you can politely get him to stop buying things he loves.0 -
i agree. throw them out! or make him keep them in his trunk where you dont know where they are or something .. shoot! Couldnt he just buy ONE at the store and finish it before he gets home!?0
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Why don't you have the occasional poptart and just count it in your daily calorie intake? You could even cut it into pieces and have it throughout the day. I think to deny yourself something you love is just a route to failure.0
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DO NOT THROW THEM OUT. you should have a real conversation in which you explain to him that this is important for you and that you want him to be supportive, and if he absolutely must have these things in the house to please hide them from you because it is making it hard for you.0
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Don't expect him to remember what you asked him in the past, tell him now and make it clear that it's important to you.I need help any suggestions, and I have already asked him not to buy that kind of stuff in the past when dieting.
Tell him that having stuff like that in the house makes it tough for you, and that it makes you unhappy and that you want him to stop bringing it home at least until you get used to not eating sugary crap.0 -
I do not agree with just throwing it away. You are in a marriage and need to talk. However if he still chooses to eat those things that is his choice. Temptation will ALWAYS be there and you have to make your own choices. I do not believe your husband is trying to sabotage you. I too am married and my husband still eats junk sometimes, in fact I bake him things still because he doesn't need to or want to eat the way I do all of the time (he is a healthy weight) so I just choose to not eat it. Is it hard somedays? ABSOLUTELY but the choice is mine and I am responsible for my actions not my husband. Best of luck to you 0
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Unless he's holding you down and forcefeeding you, you are in control over what you eat. It's his house too. He has every right to eat what he wants. Yes, you're going to have to kick up your self control, but that's your problem, not his. Don't be a victim to food, own it.0
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The only person you can change is yourself. Sure, it would be easier if everybody around us decided to change their eating habits when we do, but that's not practical or realistic. Would you want someone to throw your food out? I know I wouldn't. I imagine your husband wouldn't either. My family didn't change their eating habits when I changed mine, and nobody could have made me change mine before I was ready. Likewise, nobody can keep me from my new way of eating just because it's not what they're doing.
I've found the best way to resist the temptation of eating poorly is to make sure I have a plan to eat well first. If you're not hungry, your much less susceptible. So don't focus solely on what you're denying yourself. Focus first on what you're going to have instead. Hope that helps.0 -
Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again
Exactly. If he complains, show him that ridiculous ingredient list, that insanely high calorie count, the sugar... those are garbage. If he really needs something quick in the morning, help him find healthy and whole food alternatives.
I found a version of "poptarts" you can make at home once online, too. I doubt they're hugely healthy, being a baked good, but you can make substitutions and should still allow yourself (and him, because it is hard living with a dieter!) some wiggle room.0 -
Why don't you have the occasional poptart and just count it in your daily calorie intake? You could even cut it into pieces and have it throughout the day. I think to deny yourself something you love is just a route to failure.
This.
No need to throw the stuff out. No need to cause issues in your marriage. This isn't a diet, it is a lifestyle change. It's pretty unreasonable to assume you'll never be faced with a pastry, cookies, candy or cake for the rest of your life. Making certain foods "off limits" will only cause resentment and result in binge eating later. If you REALLY want the pop tart, have it - but account for it in your daily calories. I have something sugary every single day (actually, I'm known for using up to 400 calories a day for "treats"). It makes me happy to be able to have treats each day and keeps me on track the rest of the time. I've lost nearly 60lbs and kept it off for almost 18 months by doing it this way. No need to go "all or nothing".0 -
That's a horrible idea. She is on the diet, not him. That would be like him throwing out all her healthy food because he doesn't eat it! My husband is supportive but that doesn't mean he eats what I do. She is an adult and it's her choice what she eats.I agree take the stuff and throw it out. Then tell him how it makes you feel. Don't keep inside.0
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Your best bet is to exercise self control. This is hard. I have the same issue with chips, but I find that having in the house actually helps me remember to control myself. If I want them, I have them and count the chips according to serving size and enjoy them with something else.0
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It's possible that seeing you weigh your food and track everything made him concerned. He may have just been trying to let you know that in his eyes you don't need to lose or maybe he thought you deserved a reward after all your hard work. Has he ever brought home treats as a nice surprise before? Maybe he just hasn't figured out what nice gestures he can make that fit your new healthy lifestyle.
That being said, you don't have to eat the food he brought home, but don't let it hurt your relationship until you talk to him and find out what his motivation was for buying it in the first place.0 -
Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again
Exactly. If he complains, show him that ridiculous ingredient list, that insanely high calorie count, the sugar... those are garbage. If he really needs something quick in the morning, help him find healthy and whole food alternatives.
I found a version of "poptarts" you can make at home once online, too. I doubt they're hugely healthy, being a baked good, but you can make substitutions and should still allow yourself (and him, because it is hard living with a dieter!) some wiggle room.
I disagree. Telling someone else that what they're eating is garbage, has no nutritional value, etc isn't the way to keep peace in the house. If he isn't interested in eating better, that's HIS choice. Having the OP "inform" him of his poor choices is a good way to cause an argument. We are all adults and no one wants another adult telling them what to eat or not to eat. SHE can make the choice to not eat it for herself -- but at the end of the day, what he eats is up to him.0 -
Just walk over, grab the junk and throw it in the garbage. I bet he wont come home with it again
I totally agree.
I don't agree. That would be very passive aggressive and will cause higher tension and issues between them.
I am of the mind set that only YOU can sabotage yourself. This is our journey, not anyone elses. We have to do what is best for us, but we can not dictate the lives of those around us. Our weight loss journey should not be anyone elses. To force our views on others is just wrong.
^^ I agree with this last comment ^^
It's up to you to make and keep your changes, their will always be temptation but you need try and be strong.0 -
I agree with not throwing them away. You can look at the package and figure out how long will it take you to burn the calories this carries - then have a sorta break up with it. If you do end up going for them, only grab half of the pastry and east it very slowly - you satisfy your craving without sabotaging your progress... no matter what you do it is going to be a lil hard. I don't deprive myself from any food.0
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DO NOT THROW THEM OUT. you should have a real conversation in which you explain to him that this is important for you and that you want him to be supportive, and if he absolutely must have these things in the house to please hide them from you because it is making it hard for you.
I completely agree - I dont know why anyone would suggest throwing them away... in turn you would be punishing your husband for bringing it home.... that could cause more unnecessary hardship....
My husband comes home with his favorites a few times per week. Soda, fried chicken, bag of chocolate chip cookies, tortilla chips and salsa... He knows I wont touch it and from a medical perspective, I really dont feel like having food-related allergic reactions any time soon if I were to consume those items.
For someone like you, you DEFINITELY owe it to your husband to have a sit-down discussion and explain to him your situation.
The bottom line is this: NO ONE sabotages you unless they willingly know and acknowledge they are teasing you and coaxing you into eating things in a malicious manner...
The minute you let your self take a bite - YOU sabotaged yourself...... You allowed yourself to grab one, two, three, twelve, what ever the number is... ultimately its no one's choice but yourself. You will need to learn how to identify your food triggers and eating behaviors and work really hard at correcting them. If your husband is willing to keep them 'out of sight', it will hopefully remain 'out of mind.' Thats alot better than declaring everyone else's "Marital-martial Law" by throwing their foods out....
But please - ignore the "throw it away" people .. that is just wrong on so many levels...0 -
Just look at the pop tarts as little squares of poison to your body because that is what they really are. You wouldn't drink Drano. They are full of trans fat and sugar = poison to every cell in your body . Your cell membranes are made up of fatty acids so if you eat foods with a lot of trans fat that's what your cells will be made of but if you start putting good fats such as good quality fish oil your cell will change. This is where you are going to have to be really strong. Good Luck as I know where you are coming from.0
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Explain to him that if he brings home junk food, he needs to hide it or eat it all quickly or tell him if he wants sweets that he should buy a serving of it and eat it before he gets home.
My parents do the same thing, and it's extremely frustrating.
Oh but be nice about everything!!!!!0
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