Seriously too young to give up, but yet i do...

Unfortunately there is no special pill you can take to stay motivated, or obesity wouldn't be such a prevalent problem. I have gone through the same cycle over and over in the last 10 years. I would lose weight, feel good about my loss, and without realizing it, I would quit trying again. When you are happy with your progress or even feeling good it is easier to forget that you truly need to continue to get to your ultimate goal.

Two years ago I finally saw myself for who I really was. I saw pictures from a wedding that I was in, and was so disgusted that I let myself get that large. I still can't look at those pictures without wanting to cry. I lost about 30 lbs, and then got complacent again. I stopped counting calories, stopped working out. I have no idea why. I look back and wonder what went through my head, but I don't think anything did. I just was much happier with my looks, I was pleased with my progress and I got complacent. I didn't focus on losing weight all the time.

Luckily I only put back on 7 pounds, so when I started back up in June of last year I only had to lose 7 that I had gained back to get back on track. Since then I have lost that 7 pounds, plus another 25. But, I am finding myself being a bit complacent again. I am the smallest I have ever been, and my weight is coming off so slowly now. So, I find that I don't go to the gym as much, I eat a bit above my calories some days, I am eating more carbs (and other things that I shouldn't eat). I can see that I am reverting back to my old habits. Since I can see that now, I have to amp it up. Because I can see this happening I can make the necessary changes so that I can lose the last 12 lbs I am shooting for.

So, as soon as you are aware of a loss of interest in losing, you need to change it up. THat will help you to stay motivated. Try to find someone to work out with you. Maybe your husband will join you. Mine doesn't, but maybe you can convince yours. Good luck, and friend me if you need additional support!

You don't seem very serious about your fitness goals in that you're not journaling your food.
That's key.
It's a simple thing that demonstrates commitment.
Further, your profile says you're "losing for a wedding" or something.

No, you need to set your goals to be fit for life. I suspect that you are trying to starve yourself as well - 100 days?
Not realistic.
I'm not trying to fuss, but I clearly see the issue.

Here's the deal .... I'm 23 years old ..... 5'1", and probably 200lbs, probably more. Last May I weighed in at 200.6 and flipped. I could believe I had hit the 200's, especially at my height!! So I met up with a coach at a local gym and with her awesome help and motivation, I melted 20lbs off of myself in 2 months. I was ecstatic because I was getting married that October, and going on a honeymoon caribbean cruise!! What better reasons to loose weight?!?!? I felt better than i had in a LONG time!!! I was energized and just sooo proud of myself!!
Then, for no reason whatsoever... I stopped. Cold turkey. No working out, no eating right, nothing. I felt myself gain back all of my weight (even AFTER i had my wedding dress fitted to my smaller frame!!!) and ended up pratically bursting out of my dress my wedding day, after probably gaining back at least 10lbs of what I had lost, possibly more. The fat clothes I started off with are now tighter than they were before I ever started, so I don't doubt i've probably gained back the 20 I lost plus another 10 at least. I'm too scared to look.

I have friends offering to help me, I sooo badly WANT to be in shape. Yet I won't do the work to do it. It's too easy to be lazy and go home and relax after work. I am so blessed to have people who want to help me, but yet when they offer, for some reason, I feel offended. I realize it makes me a total brat to complain about it, yet find any excuse in the book to turn down someone who cares about me and wants to give me a push. and i'm ashamed of that. Yet I cannot bring myself to change it.

I'm totally at a loss..... I just don't know what to do! I wont' do it on my own, and I won't do it with help. But i want it to happen. How does that even make sense?!

Has anyone else had this problem?????

As a trainer and hearing this over and over again from clients that have told me the same, I'll tell you straight up...........................you really DON'T want it bad enough. IF you really did, you would do WHATEVER IT TAKES to do it. People who succeed in goals sacrifice a lot to reach them. So it has to start with you. Until you've convinced yourself that it's really important, you won't try to fix it. You have to HATE being overweight more than HATING to exercise and eating right.
Here's hoping that you get sick and tired of being sick and tired.


A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

You might not be too young to give up, but rather too young to get started. There is something about coming into one's own that helps so much. When I was younger, it was very uncomfortable to focus on myself enough to be better about food and exercise. This is kind along the "self love" comment you got, but it is more than that. I have always thought I was pretty darn neat -- it was more a issue of recognizing the degree of control I had in my life and not feeling like it was too self-centered to reach out and take some of what I wanted. I'm not sure you can force yourself into this mindset, as much as mature into it. Consider inverting your focus -- don't lose weight to feel better about yourself and in more control; instead, feel better about yourself and in more control to lose weight. Seek out the work, paid and unpaid, that motivates you; put energy into treating others exactly as you want to; seek activities that bring joy; build yourself into the emotional/mental person you want to be -- let the physical part follow. It is so much less important anyway.
I'm not sure I understand people who tell you that you aren't "serious" about losing weight -- in this society, the sanctions (self imposed and otherwise) for being a 200 pound woman are so strong that it is impossible to not be serious about it. It takes more than being serious, more than will-power. I think it is really hard to find that "more" in food diaries, personal training, and offers of help from friends. Look elsewhere; you're going to grow into a different you, and likely as not, it'll turn out to be a slenderer, healthier you.

You might not be too young to give up, but rather too young to get started. There is something about coming into one's own that helps so much. When I was younger, it was very uncomfortable to focus on myself enough to be better about food and exercise. This is kind along the "self love" comment you got, but it is more than that. I have always thought I was pretty darn neat -- it was more a issue of recognizing the degree of control I had in my life and not feeling like it was too self-centered to reach out and take some of what I wanted. I'm not sure you can force yourself into this mindset, as much as mature into it. Consider inverting your focus -- don't lose weight to feel better about yourself and in more control; instead, feel better about yourself and in more control to lose weight. Seek out the work, paid and unpaid, that motivates you; put energy into treating others exactly as you want to; seek activities that bring joy; build yourself into the emotional/mental person you want to be -- let the physical part follow. It is so much less important anyway.
I'm not sure I understand people who tell you that you aren't "serious" about losing weight -- in this society, the sanctions (self imposed and otherwise) for being a 200 pound woman are so strong that it is impossible to not be serious about it. It takes more than being serious, more than will-power. I think it is really hard to find that "more" in food diaries, personal training, and offers of help from friends. Look elsewhere; you're going to grow into a different you, and likely as not, it'll turn out to be a slenderer, healthier you.

This is bang-on.

i guess i still feel like i HAVE had that point of 'enough is enough'. I just want to know why it eventually wore off.

someone sent me an email, and asked if it could come down to basically love.... and rather the lack i have of it for myself.

i had to think about it. I love my compassion for others, i love my drive at work, and i love the way I know i can be an amazing wife for my husband.

but i guess when i REALLY think about it ..... no, i don't love myself. I constantly feel unworthy of my husband and even told him up until the day we got married, and even after we got married, that i don't feel like i deserve him. he deserves a trophy wife, and he tells me constantly that i am exactly that. his heart breaks when he hears the way i feel, and he does his best to reasurre me. but i still feel like i'm not enough

If your self esteem is this low perhaps you need to talk to someone about. Also perhaps you feel this way because you've gained weight. Only you can change, no one can do it for you.

I looked at your pics, and you and your hubby look so in love. That is a gift. You say you don't feel worthy, but then what does that say about him.... he picked wrong? He has terrible perception? I don't think so. I think you are a wonderful young woman with a lot of life ahead of her. Life is all about choices. It is up to you what kind of choices you make. Start making some small positive choices every day that will start moving you back in the right direction. Feel good about those choices and let it inspire you to make more.

it is easier said than done, to believe and feel all of those things..... but i will try.... I just don't know where to start

Start by going to the gym! Just GO! Don't think about the consequences or will you stick with it or are you good enough. Just go. It is SO easy to allow depression and those thoughts to drag you down, I know. I struggle with these thoughts about many other areas of my life. A lot of times, I just have to tell myself, "shut up and GOOOOO." Once I've started, things are so much easier. Maybe it’s starting the very first time or maybe it’s just starting that activity that day. For me, I must constantly tell myself to shut it and get on with it.

Good luck.

I have sent you a message but can I just say publically, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! You look stunning in your wedding pics and I agree your Hubby looks madly in love with you, you are worthy of love. Why dont you look into getting Jillian Michaels new book "unlimited" well worth a lool.

Lets do this one step at a time :-) x

You haven't failed, you are beautiful. But..... you could be healthier and happier, yes? So, what is your action plan to take steps in that direction?

If your sticking point is that you really feel tired and lazy after work, maybe you could find a way to go with it. I don't know what your schedule is, but...could there be a way to do your exercise BEFORE you to go work instead? Then you can give yourself permission to be as lazy as you want in the evenings. I know I like to lounge on the couch at night too. I know this doesn't address the real problem of losing motivation (been there as well), but it is just another thought...These people are right. Sometimes it happens.