Why the hate?!

well said! so true. thanks for sending this out there! :flowerforyou:

I feel you girl... I have been heavy most of my life. Well after like 5th grade.. There are so many judgemental people in this world.. I feel when they say negative stuff about me or anyone that does not look "perfect" to them then they are just not happy with themselves.. Usually those people are miserable.. I have been lucky enough to have friends who have never judged me.. Dated a few guys who did not care what my weight was.. They like me for me.. Then again there were a few idiots in there.. But we all have had those.. My current husband never cared what I weighed while he was super skinny.. Well not anymore because I beefed him up to.. He is now dealing with a weight problem & its hard for him.. The difference is that he needs to lose about 30 pounds while I need to lose 100+.. I guess in life we have to just ignore those people who judge overweight people & realize that at some point in their own life they will deal with issues like this or even worse.. I know there have been times I have seen the looks on their faces when I walk by.. I do get upset & it is hurtful.. They think because I am overweight I am lazy & must just sit & eat 12 meals aday.. Some people are just luck enough to be born with a great metabolism.. I just wish I could wave my magic wand & make people stop judging everyone... Life is to short to waste it on that stuff... Good luck & maybe we can change the world one person at a time...

I think you raise several excellent points.

I was rail -thin as a kid, put on some weight as a teen (although not heavy, more "curvy") and then when I was 19 I came home and found my Dad dead in our kitchen. He had brain cancer, we knew he was probably going to die, but I certainly hadn't envisioned it going down quite like that.

I stopped eating for a while. Not in an effort to starve myself - it had NOTHING to do with my weight or self-image. It was just plain ole depression. I didn't really give a crap one way or the other what happened to me. I was NUMB - because it was the only way I could avoid the pain of losing my Dad.

That screwed up my metabolism BIG TIME. I slowly put on some weight, but nothing bad. Then I moved back home (I was away at college) and made some poor diet choices. Because my metabolism had changed so dramatically, I put on weight. Then more weight...and now here I am at obese.

The reality is that when you see someone in the store, wherever - you DO NOT know their story. Don't be so superficial and only judge them by their fat. Yep, I'm fat - but you know what - I KNOW for a fact that I eat healthier than a lot of my "skinny" friends. I don't drink pop anymore, I have never smoked, I rarely drink. I rarely eat red meat (who can afford to?! LOL)...so, even though I'm "FAT" (or more correctly, OBESE), I am in better health than many. I do not have blood pressure issues. Or cholesterol. Or diabetes.

Does it bother me to see a heavy person on an Amigo with a basket full of frozen pizzas at the store? You bet your *kitten* it does. Not because I am judging, but because they are slowly killing themselves. I just want to say, "You are worth more as a person than THIS! Why are you doing this to yourself?" Honestly, it makes me sad for them. It also scares me - knowing that when I make poor choices, I am heading down that same path of self-destruction.

Losing weight is hard. Working out when you are fat is hard - mentally and physically. I was embarrassed to work out in front of my husband last night. Hello - we have 3 kids, he's seen the goods - but I was still embarrassed because I'm so out of shape. I have people ask me to go to Zumba - I'd love to do the workout, but I'd probably want to crawl in a hole and hide b/c I think people are staring at me, judging.

It's time to stop judging and start supporting - which is why I am SO glad I joined this site. I have read so many inspiring stories, seen so many awesome pics - that I KNOW I can do this, too.


(Oh, and original poster - when I say "you" in this post, I'm not speaking of you - it's more of an add-on to your post of sorts. LOL So PLEASE don't think I'm directing that at you! )

Great blog!! You hit the nail on the head!

Thank you!! If you dont love yourself and accept that this is the body you have now, you wont feel like it is "worth" all the work to make it better. It is entirely possible to love yourself and with that love understand that you have to make changes to be able to love it for a very long time.

VERY WELL SAID!!!

Okay so I was in the gym today and turned around and there was this "big" girl she had just started and actually I was/am happy for her. She had the self confidence in herself to get her rear in there and do something instead of hiding in her house like so many do. Proud of her and all those that don't hide because of all the ignorant people out there who feel a need to snicker or talk because they "think" their better.Why do some people always seem to feel a need to bring others down? What is it about themselves that they hate so much?

You said this so much better than I ever could. I was a thin kid and thin as a teen. I only weighed 112lbs the day I went into labor with my youngest son. Then I began to gain weight. My eating habits were atrocious and I did not exercise. I have spent much of my adult life dealing with depression. I know some people can't eat when depressed. How I wish I was like this. Looking back on my life, I'd say I didn't love myself. And you know for some...for me weight is an armour to keep people at a distance. I'm working on me.

I remember as a skinny person being judgemental of the "fat" kid....I am ashamed of those thoughts now. Maybe I needed these extra pounds to teach me a bit about compassion. Lesson learned...time to shed this extra weight. I never want to stand in the way of another person loving themselves. I'm here to recieve support and to give the same.

Thank you for posting...you express yourself beautifully!

Totally get what you are saying but my view I am glad those kind of people don't have a filter it lets you know the people you wouldn't want to know regardless of your size.:flowerforyou:

Amen

I don't think anyone here is really asking for fat acceptance.
We're fat people looking for acceptance. That's different!

Yes! I especially liked this part. Thank you for such a well-written post!

I don't think it's so hard to learn to love one's self. I taught myself at about age 13. I got quite good at it, actually. :bigsmile:

I may be overstepping here .... but I don't think fat acceptance or even acceptance is going to make people love themselves any more. Self esteem has to come from inside, and has to be all about SELF ACCEPTANCE. I've been called fat, ugly, a b!tch, disgusting, BBW ... some of those are true at some time or another ... but that doesn't change how much I love who I am.

Being overweight sucks, and of course we should all treat each other with respect because we're all people .... but don't blame ignorant jerks or insensitive *kitten* for the way you feel about yourself. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

You typed too much! I didn't read it but.....WTG I guess