About to Call it Quits

... & Here comes the negativity once again. Jeez, people... Give her a break. She obviously posted this because she needs positivity to pick her spirit back up.

Do NOT give up. If you need somebody to support you, add me. I've been on this journey for almost a year, & I've lost 0 pounds. I did lose a good bit of inches, but I've gained so much more. If you quit, think about how unhappy you will continue to be in the future. If you quit, more than likely you will start gaining weight & wonder why you never stuck with it to begin with. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Research exercises you can do that won't require a gym membership, or a tv. You're young. It's better to do it now then to wait. Trust me. Keep pushing! You can do this. :flowerforyou:

You'll read this as more negativity, but I promise you it's not. Just read all the way through before rolling your eyes and dismissing me. I ask this because I have been EXACTLY where you are.

I can't count the number of times that I've started a diet. Or bought workout equipment. Or joined a gym. Or wanted to fit into a pair of pants. Or wanted to look better for a beach trip. Or wanted a smaller belly. Or wanted muscles. Or... get the picture?

Each of those times, I wanted something very specific, but couldn't find a way to get the ONE thing I wanted, so I got discouraged and quit.

The truth is, I didn't want any of it bad enough. How do I know that I didn't want it bad enough? Because I justified quitting each of my previous attempts, using the exact same reasons that you're giving for wanting to quit. I even came up with more! Family needs me, don't have time, I'm not built for it, I'm too weak, no will power, etc etc.

Here's the bottom line. There is NOBODY on these forums (me included) that can give you the magic words to make something click in your head. Those words come from within you. And you'll hear yourself say them when you have truly had enough, and are ready to make changes. Until then, you'll continue to justify quitting to yourself, and you'll find even more reasons why this isn't working and in your mind, will never work.

It doesn't sound to me like it's your time just yet. You'll know when it is, because there won't be anything on this Earth that can stop you from the goals that you'll set. Save these messages to look back on when that time is upon you, and it will fuel your desires even more.

Best of luck, whatever you decide!

You bring up an excellent point about what I think of as the privilege of fitness in American society (I assumed you are in the USA). By indicating that your neighborhood is not safe enough for outdoor exercise, and that your home situation is crowded, you may live in a low-income area, regardless of what your personal status is. Academic and public policy studies have shown the availability of high-quality nutritive foods is lower in urban areas, and the opportunity to eat healthfully, such as from the produce aisle of a grocery store, may be nonexistent, as many low-income areas only have access to foods from places like convenience stores and fast food restaurants, which tend to be higher in fat and calories and less nutritive. (A good example is this study from Yale: http://www.yaleruddcenter.org/resources/upload/docs/what/reports/RuddReportAccesstoHealthyFoods2008.pdf).
At the same time, if you also live in an area with high crime, the opportunities for safe, affordable means of exercise, especially for a female, are lower. As HorrorChix pointed out, jogging outside can be a ridiculous prospect in some neighborhoods. Additionally, having the one to two or more hours a day to devote to fitness routines of any kind is more than can be asked of people doing shift work, with multiple jobs, children, parents or siblings to take care of, etc. (This is not an invitation for folks to reply detailing their schedule and how extraordinarily busy they are but still manage to exercise; we get it. Some people still carve out time.) The point is, taken together, all of these factors prove to be a perfect storm in creating and sustaining unhealthy lifestyles and the obesity epidemic. (A good study published by the National Institute of Health on income and health disparities can be read here: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1070714/)
We need to acknowledge that fitness is, in many ways, a privilege in this country, and a cultural phenomenon that I personally have noticed positively correlates with increased income. If you have the time to read and post on regularly on fitness forums, if you have access to a PCC, a Whole Foods, or even just a plain old Safeway or Jewel, if you're doing Jillian Michaels DVD's at home, have access to a gym, or a safe place to jog, congratulations. You're among the lucky citizens of this country who are privileged enough to be fit. If you're not, please don't be discouraged by the inconsiderate and ignorant comments that are thrown your way without so much as a minute's consideration for what the circumstances might be that have lead to and perpetuate your health situation.
In the meantime, you can do this HorrorChix, you've got the fitness and nutritional knowledge that you need to do what you have to do. It won't happen overnight, but advice like Slo83's paired with the passionate attitude you sound like you have will get you to where you want to be in the long run. Sorry for that diatribe. But don't give up.

Bump...love what you wrote.

At 120 lbs, unless you are 3'5", I think it might be ok to chill out, have a cheeseburger for crying out loud, and look at what other areas of your life might feel more meaningful for you to make change in at this point. We all deserve to be happy. Only you have the power to do that for you.:flowerforyou:

I agree with dancing in the living rooom holding the soup cans dancing burns lots of calories, and go ahead and have the cheeseburger just don't put the mayo on it use everything else and drink the Mt dew!! just do not give up

You'll read this as more negativity, but I promise you it's not. Just read all the way through before rolling your eyes and dismissing me. I ask this because I have been EXACTLY where you are.

I can't count the number of times that I've started a diet. Or bought workout equipment. Or joined a gym. Or wanted to fit into a pair of pants. Or wanted to look better for a beach trip. Or wanted a smaller belly. Or wanted muscles. Or... get the picture?

Each of those times, I wanted something very specific, but couldn't find a way to get the ONE thing I wanted, so I got discouraged and quit.

The truth is, I didn't want any of it bad enough. How do I know that I didn't want it bad enough? Because I justified quitting each of my previous attempts, using the exact same reasons that you're giving for wanting to quit. I even came up with more! Family needs me, don't have time, I'm not built for it, I'm too weak, no will power, etc etc.

Here's the bottom line. There is NOBODY on these forums (me included) that can give you the magic words to make something click in your head. Those words come from within you. And you'll hear yourself say them when you have truly had enough, and are ready to make changes. Until then, you'll continue to justify quitting to yourself, and you'll find even more reasons why this isn't working and in your mind, will never work.

It doesn't sound to me like it's your time just yet. You'll know when it is, because there won't be anything on this Earth that can stop you from the goals that you'll set. Save these messages to look back on when that time is upon you, and it will fuel your desires even more.

Best of luck, whatever you decide!

Well said!

Well first of all, I would sort of advise to "avoid" the forums LOL the community section people can tend to be harsh, sometimes I find the boards are full of negativity, you should maybe just make an intro post, build up some friends and then just talk on your personal feed. Don't get me wrong tho, there are a lot of people here that are willing to help and nice aswell, even tho at times it may seem like it

As to not having room to do dvd's and such, leslie sansone has a line of walk at home dvd's that you could basically just do with the space in front of your computer That is what I started out doing. While at a lower weight than me it won't have as much a drastic affect on you than it does on me, but every bit helps. And if you don't try you can't expect to get results at all, other than having the scale going in the direction you don't want. You should honestly try walking or running around your neighborhood even tho you don't want to. If I saw someone of your weight walking or running around where I live, I wouldn't think badly of them, I would think there's someone who's working towards bettering themselves. That's something to be PROUD of. I weigh 440ish pounds and I've been walking around my sub the past few weeks. In the SNOW. When it's like 20 degrees outside lol. Sure I don't want people to see me, and especially due to the weather. But I KNOW I have to do it. I have to do something or nothing will ever change.

You say you don't know how much longer you can go without seeing change. Well if you give up you will see change likely And it won't be the kind you are desiring now. I don't know much about cutting out breads or sugar, personally I don't see that possible for myself. But I have changed to using say light mayo, and fat free cheese, fat free milk. Little changes like that add up. Our family went from whole milk, to 2% and at first it was disgusting. And last year when we started more hardcore cutting down on stuff, my mom and I switched to fat free milk. Now I don't mind it at all. I can even drink fat free milk. It's all about change and you have to try, to give it a chance.

Personally I am obsessed with mountain dew also. And I HATE the way diet tastes. But I found one turns into two, turns into a six pack, or a 2 liter, and it's a slippery slope, at least for me. I have to stop buying it. I drink it when I go out to eat, which is once every few weeks or something and it's only a glass or two. It's all about moderation. You can have things like regular pop, or a cheeseburger with mayo and all the goodies, you just can't do it everyday.

Stupid phone. I was trying to quote the part where someone suggested strength training, then remind that the OP said it "ain't gonn happen" because "she doesn't want to look toned". Still trying to wrap my head around that one.

Well, I feel sorry for you that you missed my amazing and insightful comment about your attitude.

Maybe you'll bother to read this one - yes, you should be eating your exercise calories, and if you do not want to strength train, then you may want to think about getting used to a slightly more flabby belly than you want, even at 120 lbs.

I hear that you're angry...but I would put out there that your anger is mis-directed. Whatever is going on in your personal life should stay there (or find a forum for venting on those issues) and not have that negativity that is eating at you - directed back at people on this forum that are trying to give advice.

I can't speak for others here, but for myself...I'm not a hand-holder. I'm a working woman with a family and a professional career, and I don't have time for drama and immaturity. I tend to call it as I see it...this isn't negativity - but living in the real world.

I have found that I CAN'T have it all...(food that I want), but I have found that the trim body I now possess more accurately reflects the person I am inside. Has it been easy? Of course not... But I guarantee you that no one wants to hear me whine that I can't eat that double beef cheeseburger every day for lunch, or have that extra slice of cheesecake each night before bed. Changing eating habits is a challenge for anyone with food issues, but really....put on your big girl panties!

I have found that I CAN exercise in small spaces - I routinely lift weights on my bed, and do my exercises in the bathroom. I have also found that because our local mall opens early for walkers - it is a safe and warm place to walk.

I have also found that to be the healthiest me I can be - I have to make changes, not excuses.


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Not trying to hi-jack someone's thread so I made my own.

There are a lot of things factoring to this decision. Some of it comes from this community and other communities like LoseIt!. FitBit forums talk more about the product itself than actually dieting and weight loss.

Also I can't eat what I want when I want and how much I want. Probably why people ask when the baby is due. I get discourage when people yell at me for my opinion as if theirs is the only one that matter.

I know about portion control and dieting, eating right, working out, staying active, follow the rules, be a good girl, blah blah blah. Worse thing is when you ask a question and then get slammed with negativity. It's like those people that come to my school and say we're all going to hell.

You need to do this and avoid that, eat this spit out that, don't work too hard don't work too little. It's irritating, annoying, and I WANT A FREAKING HAMBURGER WITH LETTUCE, TOMATOES, PICKLES, AND LOAD AND LOADS OF KETCHUP AND MAYO! Even a Chicken and Bacon Ranch sub from SubWay is about 500+ calories with just chicken, bacon, and the ranch.

Walking ins't enough to burn calories, and can't afford a gym. And no I'm not about to run around my neighborhood and I kinda want to live to see my next birthday. Workout DvDs only work if you have room in your house to do so. Living with two other adults and 3 kids with only 2 working televisions doesn't give enough room to do half the moves these workout dvds say to do.

I feel sick and depressed. I can't target fat loss on one area like my stomach. I have to lose it all over. So 4 lbs of what seems like just water isn't going to make my stomach go away. And doing ab workouts will only build muscles UNDER the fat and make it poke out even more. I also realized I have fat on my back, how gross! I don't want to look all toned or defined so weight training ain't gonna happen. I already have big arms for some odd reason and tank tops or strapless dresses make me look weird.

I don't know how much longer I can go without seeing results. Nothing changed, not by the tape measure or the scale. My stomach and waist is actually getting bigger! I get down to 118 and then I jump back up to the 120s the next week. Cut out bread, cut out sugars, I haven't had a mountain dew in god knows how long. This may end up being my last weekend on this site, or any weight loss site.

You just need to learn portion control! You can't go from EVERYTHING to NOTHING in one day or week or month!

Eat EVERYTHING you want in the beginning, just less and SLOWLY weed out the unhealthy stuff. Believe me it works! It took me months to give up some things and some things I still havne't given up yet.

Just eat less, exercise more and try to go a day without something, then eat it again, and before long you will realize you don't want it when you start seeing results.

Take it one day at a time, eat that hamburger! Just only eat half of it! You don't need the WHOLE thing to get the taste of it!