venting (cussing)
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Please listen to me... Do NOT ever---ever!! be sorry to your parents or any one for who you are!!! Take the lessons you have learned from them how NOT to be, and be a better person! please dont turn your anger inward and hurt yourself. You are lovely and deserving of love, respect and happiness. Please remember that. Do not take his control issues as your personal problem. He is your father, I understand, but he must be an unhappy person. Do not let that make you an unhappy person. You can not control him, you control yourself and only yourself. Please see yourself for the wonderful qualities you possess and don't let this consume you or manifest itself in destructive habits. Best wishes xx0
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Sometimes real support is telling you the truth - not agreeing with the very attitudes that have you living at home at age 27.Ok i came here to vent and look for support. a couple of you are just making things WAY worse. Im trying not to turn to food.
I dont expect you guys to fix my problems. but you dont have to be a jerk about it like Max.
I have issus and cant get a job. I know that Moving cost LOTS of money. so thats out.
Sometime ppl just need to vent.
to those of you who have said kind words, telling me im beautiful and such THANK YOU.
Set goals, take hold of your life.
you made your point. enough already
Thank you. he (max) doesnt realize that ive been through miscarrage, rape, physical, and mental abuse, or that im going though a divorce right now. he also doenst realize that when a person, any person has Clinical depression treating them the way he is and talking to them like that makes the situation Way worse.0 -
Why don't you try respecting his beliefs and maybe he will start to respect you. You do not need to cuss in front of him. You do not need to tell him about your sex life. You really don't need to be drinking if you have health problems. If you are 27 and living at home, why don't you tell him that you appreciate him taking care of you. Bet you would see a change in the relationship. Stop fighting and start smiling. Ask him how his work week was and where he went. Try to be a part of his life. Do something nice for him that he doesn't ask you to do. Change your attitude and you will slowly see him change his.0
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:indifferent:0
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Honey you need to move to L.A. and write songs.0
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Thank you Slone. Its nice to hear that.
When my fathers not around im 98% of the time a happy caring person. i have my good moments and bad. my mom and i argue but we can laugh and get over it.
Dad treats my mom like crap too. they just had their 30th wedding ann.0 -
Wow!im 27 Fing years old and he treats me like im 10.
I hate him so much. ..
You should teach him a lesson and MOVE OUT!
Today - get your own place.
Just pack your bags and leave; spread your wings and FLY AWAY!
Or you can continue to live in his house like you're 10 years old and be treated as such.
At some point, children must grow up and leave the nest.
Sounds like you're ready - right?
Last time i checked you need money to move out. and $20 isnt enough.
Last time I checked, $20 wasn't enough money to raise a kid, yet your profile clearly states your goal is to become pregnant. Maybe your father doesn't want one more person to support... I think counseling could benefit you both.0 -
Easy fix is to not cuss around him (I do not in front of my parents, and like you said you don't drink often.
Hope things get better! Keep you chin up hun! You have been through a lot and things will get better eventually.
Don't turn to food! Think of how much eating right and losing weight makes you feel and will make you feel. Don't add guilt to that!
Hope things turn around soon :flowerforyou:0 -
:sick:0
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Honey you need to move to L.A. and write songs.
Thanks sweetie.0 -
Last time I checked, $20 wasn't enough money to raise a kid, yet your profile clearly states your goal is to become pregnant. Maybe your father doesn't want one more person to support... I think counseling could benefit you both.
It says that is why she wants to get in shape. That is a great goal. To lose weight so you can have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby to set an example for. She never stated she was trying now.0 -
There are alot of things that can be said. However, you needed to vent and that's understandable. So I will say to you... step away from the computer right now. Don't go to the kitchen to eat and step out and get some fresh air. Do some kind of exercise right now. :happy: Since that is what you can control at this exact minute. Good luck!0
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You're 27?
Sorry but you need to grow up and stop being disrespectful to your parents in their home. At your age, they have no obligation to take you in when you need it and sounds like they did so out of kindness and love. The least you can do is abide by their rules in their home even if you disagree with them.
Sounds like you really need to get into some therapy to deal with your emotional issues also.
I wish you all the best, but you need to take some responsibility for yourself and be grateful that you HAVE parents to take you in when you needed it.0 -
There are alot of things that can be said. However, you needed to vent and that's understandable. So I will say to you... step away from the computer right now. Don't go to the kitchen to eat and step out and get some fresh air. Do some kind of exercise right now. :happy: Since that is what you can control at this exact minute. Good luck!
as much as i would love to do that theres about a foot of snow on the ground lol and its dark out.0 -
He is scared for you and doesn't know how to communicate properly and feels hopeless to help you. You have always been his little precious princess but now that you are grown up, he hurts over the choices you are making in life.
While you live in his home you owe it to him and your mother to respect them. It's not easy getting old and still having people in the house to care for when you are trying to retire.
Get a job and move out. Don't hate someone who is telling the truth and has provided for you all your life.0 -
Dear child, your pain is real and touched me. Please know that the Lord loves you as you are and wants a relationship with you. He knew you before you were ever formed in your mother's womb. He knows you better than anyone and He deemed you worthy to live and breathe. If you ever learned truth in a "christian" home, I hope you learned this important truth. I hope your Dad knows the parable Jesus told of the prodigal son. He has to let you go to be what and who you want to be and welcome you with open arms when you are willing to come to him if he is desires to model our Lord. I pray you find peace...0
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There are alot of things that can be said. However, you needed to vent and that's understandable. So I will say to you... step away from the computer right now. Don't go to the kitchen to eat and step out and get some fresh air. Do some kind of exercise right now. :happy: Since that is what you can control at this exact minute. Good luck!
as much as i would love to do that theres about a foot of snow on the ground lol and its dark out.
What about jumping jacks, yoga, running in place? :happy:0 -
There are alot of things that can be said. However, you needed to vent and that's understandable. So I will say to you... step away from the computer right now. Don't go to the kitchen to eat and step out and get some fresh air. Do some kind of exercise right now. :happy: Since that is what you can control at this exact minute. Good luck!
as much as i would love to do that theres about a foot of snow on the ground lol and its dark out.
Go play in the snow! that'll be fun. You're too old to be scared of the dark :P0 -
Sounds like you're going through a lot right now. It must be hard to be facing depression, going through a divorce, and having conflict at home.
I haven't faced the divorce issue and I'm older than you, but I can say that it feels good to take action. It sounds like you're frustrated. So my question is, can you see a counselor who can help you deal with the frustration (which would help you avoid emotional eating)?
If you've been through rape and other experiences, please call RAINN hotline 1800-656-HOPE and they can refer you to someone in your area. (Or their website is rainn.org.)
This might not help, but in this economy a lot of adults are living at home with their parents. It's also stressful for the parents. They thought their job was finished by now. Many middle-aged people are working harder than ever, and have lost jobs and savings. A lot of people are very stressed. I'm not saying that as an excuse, but it's a fact of life for many people today.
So you have to renegotiate how you live together as adults.
I know even in my 30s (I'm in my 40s now), my mother could still push my buttons about my weight mostly. It was done very subtly, but I would revert to my childhood self and have a meltdown (she never saw me, as I kept it all inside).
Anyway, I think Dr. Phil has a great philosophy: Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? You need to find out how to make yourself truly happy. And, truthfully, you already know that cursing in front of your parents, having sex under their roof, and emotional eating, doesn't make you happy.
You like to write...can you take an online class, or just go to the library, to find out more about doing something with that?
Do you have any supportive friends who like writing?0 -
Fix your issues and get a job! Sounds to me like your saying your a victom - and as long as you think and say you are ---- guess what you are.
In the words of Rocky Balboa
“When Things got hard, you started looking for something to blame. Like a Big Shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know…
The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently IF YOU LET IT…
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But It ain’t about how hard you hit… it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much can you take and keep moving forward? THAT’S HOW WINNING IS DONE!
Now if you know what you’re worth, Go out and Get What Your Worth, But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. COWARDS DO THAT AND THAT AIN’T YOU! YOUR BETTER THEN THAT.”
Get moving!0 -
Sometimes real support is telling you the truth - not agreeing with the very attitudes that have you living at home at age 27.Ok i came here to vent and look for support. a couple of you are just making things WAY worse. Im trying not to turn to food.
I dont expect you guys to fix my problems. but you dont have to be a jerk about it like Max.
I have issus and cant get a job. I know that Moving cost LOTS of money. so thats out.
Sometime ppl just need to vent.
to those of you who have said kind words, telling me im beautiful and such THANK YOU.
Set goals, take hold of your life.
you made your point. enough already
Thank you, we all know how incredibly motiviating and kind Max is (rolls eyes words dripping with sarcasm).0 -
Sorry you're having a hard time. Back to one of your original thoughts, and likely the most relevant for this site, your emotional eating. I've struggled with that issue for my entire life and I can see how strong that urge would be in light of the situation you're in. One of the things that has been helpful for me lately is to remember that the feeling of wanting to overeat is a backwards way of trying to nurture myself. That has given me the ability to forgive myself for wanting to overeat, which goes a long way all by itself (if you're anything like me you get angry or feel guilty about the desire to overdo it, which just fuels that fire). Showing myself kindness and understanding often takes the punch out of the urges. No always, but often. Be good to yourself.0
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Sounds like you are going through a very rough time right now. I hope if you are depressed that you have at least started on some antidepressant meds--- it can make a world of difference, though it does take about a month before the effects kick in. If you can't take medicine, please, please try to get some exercise every day (maybe a long walk?) Exercise can help lift your mood. It is really hard to turn things around when you feel like poopy all the time.
Are there other ways you can vent, besides on the computer or eating?
You are strong and a survivor!0 -
I know how you feel...
I have a similar relationship with mine. I guess you could say I was his special little project. He HATED EVERYTHING I ever did, said, etc. Name calling, verbal taunts, threats, oh yeah honey he was brutal. The best thing that ever happened was that he left and shacked up with another woman.
You're an adult and you're going to have a difference of opinion. He needs to get over that. However, the unfortunate thing of being an adult and living at home is that you're automatically 12. I lived on my own in college and had to come back.0 -
PEOPLE TRY LISTENING, what clearly worked for all you Alphas maybe won't work for everyone!!
You obviously have some issues you are working through but it won't help to disrespect your Father in his own home, a vent is good but there are A LOT of detractors & passive aggressive people on this site. IGNORE THEM & draw strength from your Mother
Best of Luck.
Russ0 -
I'm sorry you are struggling right now. For me when reading this post I saw so much of myself in it ... or my old self.
These people like Max are trying to help you. I know it's not anything you want to hear. When I was depressed and angry and want to vent I didn't want people to give me solutions or acknowledge that I was part of the problem. I do believe you came here to vent, but more so I think you came here to have people tell you they feel sorry for you and to feel better by having support that you are the victim.
But I assume you are here because you want to lose weight, improve your life, and go after your true desire to be a mother. So this is a gift for you ... try to actually understand what they are saying and realize the depression is twisting the true intention.
If you continue down the path you are currently on you will never lose the weight. Never.
Just because you are an adult, doesn't mean that you can do anything you want. You are an adult legally because you are over the age of 18. But maturity is something completely different. Cussing because you feel you are entitled to do so at your age sounds like a thing a teenager says during those rebellious years ... not a mature adult. My guess is you also cuss to push his buttons and anger him because it is something you can control and continues the volatile relationship. But at the end of the day you are under his roof and he is taking care of you. You should count your blessings that he cares enough for you to not kick you out on the streets. Legally because you are an "adult" he can do this ... but out of LOVE for you he allows you to stay in the home. It's not right for him to be away and have to come home to this type of situation. If you can't do this, then it's time for you to move out. Yes, it can be expensive but that is something you have to work towards.
What is going to happen when he isn't around? What will you do then?
Like you I also used to make excuses. Many of the experiences you had, I had. I held on to the anger and victimized myself for so long. I felt like the entire world was against me. "I have a ****ty life, I have all these problems, no on understands." They are all excuses.
You are miserable and you will continue to be so until you accept that you have the power to change your life. I will say it again, if you don't .. you will never lose the weight ... you will never be happy ... and you will never have the future you dream of.0 -
Sounds like you are going through a very rough time right now. I hope if you are depressed that you have at least started on some antidepressant meds--- it can make a world of difference, though it does take about a month before the effects kick in. If you can't take medicine, please, please try to get some exercise every day (maybe a long walk?) Exercise can help lift your mood. It is really hard to turn things around when you feel like poopy all the time.
Are there other ways you can vent, besides on the computer or eating?
You are strong and a survivor!
Thank you and yes im on celexa. it helps alot but not enough i have to go back to the dr and have it upped.
And i have been doing bob hapers vid.0 -
I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like that. Regarding your poems I can understand how you would feel that way.When your father seems to constantly remind you of your downfalls.But I really hope you have a much more positive outlook of yourself.I would think you do since you are on MFP to better yourself. I would give your father the poems let him stew over how he has made you feel and walk away, move out etc... Let him come to you hopefully with some remorse for his treatment of his daughter. As long as you are happy with your life, live it well. Good Luck
Hope to read a better post soon :flowerforyou:0 -
get a part-time job, working weekends.
maybe he just wants some quiet alone time with his wife?0 -
In all sincerity, a child will NOT SOLVE ANYTHING. I read on your profile that you're trying to have one.. I don't know if that was filled out prior to your divorce but if not please take the steps necessary to fix your own life before bringing another into this world.
Good luck to you.0
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