I just had to post this. I'M SHOCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I think thats disgusting!!0
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Hmm. Who does this remind me of... Oh, right! One of the favored U.S. republican candidates! Newt Gingrich. That paragon of family virtues. Wife gets MS? Screw that. Open relationship or divorce, I say! All those family values speeches sure makes me wanna vote for someone who publicly admits multiple infidelities. He must subscribe to this site. -nod-0
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More proof that marragie between a man and a woman is sacred and should stay between an man and woman
i'm hoping this is a joke.
nope more like sarcasm. It gets a little disgusting when you hear those that go on and on agains gay marrige using the sanctity of marriage as an excuse. Well it seems to me it hasnt been sacraed for along time and if people really wanted to use sanctity as an platform for their bigotry well then they need to take up the fight against stuff like this too. Along with quicky celeberty marriges that are nothing more than publicity stunts.0 -
Hmm. Who does this remind me of... Oh, right! One of the favored U.S. republican candidates! Newt Gingrich. That paragon of family virtues. Wife gets MS? Screw that. Open relationship or divorce, I say! All those family values speeches sure makes me wanna vote for someone who publicly admits multiple infidelities. He must subscribe to this site. -nod-
hes actually on his 3rd marrige,the woman hes married to now is the one he cheated on his last wife with0 -
you get married...(man or women) and then change dramatically? like in letting yourself go (get fat) and things change...life is short...why be unhappy?
If you're that unhappy, get a divorce. Cheating is a $hitty thing to do to someone.0 -
And this country won't let me marry my partner because of narrow minded people. However, married men and/or women can just choose to join a website to cheat on their spouses because of weight????? Yeah gotta love this. Good thing my skinny partner over there <<<< loves me regardless of what I weigh. Actually I weighed 260 when I met her and I can proudly say neither one of us have ever cheated with anyone else. But yeah my "gay" marriage will corrupt our country. They can blow it out the *kitten*.
I love you. (Not in a creepy way, but the support/admiration way.)
Thank you Kat and know what you mean. LOL My partner and I have been solidly commited for 11 years and yes we have trials and tribulations like any couple but we work them out. We dont go to the nearest bar or website to hook-up for meaningless sex. I actually have a sister that is gay also and she and her partner have been together for years and years. Our parents love us all and treat our partners just like their own daughters. We are in the middle of a hostile work environment/gay exploitation case right now with my partner's workplace for allowing an employee to video tape her while working on his cell phone and posting it on the web that "that this is what a big old *kitten* looks like". We've been receiving harrassing phone calls ever since and my partner is on medical leave due to the stress from work. But yeah a good old man and woman marriage with cheating is considered better than our devoted and commited partnership. Thank you USA and all the do-gooder voters that wont allow me to marry in MY state.
Another reason to LOVE NY. First, we accept and perform gay marriage . it took us awhile, but we got there. Second, if anyone ever did such a horrible thing to a gay co worker, they would be fired, put on tv and more then likely charged with a hate crime, which is a biggie HERE. Sorry all you Southerners, but the North continues to win. LOL0 -
It's sad really. It's so easy to get married and just as easy to divorce. Nobody takes their vows seriously anymore.
My 6 yr anniversary is tomorrow. We've had our ups and downs. Like...bigtime. We've both put on weight. I'm on a mission to get healthy for myself and I'm determined to make it happen...with or without my husband.
That website is pretty sad. It's even more sad that they have 12 million people using it. But...I'm a believer in karma. What goes around, comes around. In due time....one way or another, it'll get back to them.
I never understood cheating. You're unhappy? You hate your life? Then leave your husband or wife? Either separate or get a divorce. What's the purpose of cheating? At least be the bigger person and admit when things are over. And leave. It's as simple as that.
what if you have two young children...you and your spouse are still good parents but no sex spark remains....you want to stay together for the kids sake....cheating is worse than splitting and disrupting the kids life?
If you still get along well, but the "spark" is gone, then negotiate an open relationship (I don't consider this cheating, cheating is breaking the rules, negotiating is changing them). Most people don't just lose the spark though, they end up not liking each other very much, and kids will pick up on the tension in the household. Staying together "for the kids" is rarely good for anyone.0 -
^^^^^^you get married...(man or women) and then change dramatically? like in letting yourself go (get fat) and things change...life is short...why be unhappy?
THIS!
It's time to get real folks!
I'm about as real as it gets.
If you're unhappy, communicate. If they're not willing to change, LEAVE.
There is no excuse or validation for going behind the back of the person you are supposed to love in sickness & health, for better or worse.
I refuse to condone that behavior.0 -
I'm not shocked at all. Considering it's a site designed around cheating spouses. I'm sure there's the equivalent one of brad pitt vs some gargoyle looking of a dude too.
Relax
Seriously, Brad Pitt is not that great. Sheesh, LOL
I finally found the only other person on earth who thinks Brad Pitt isn't all that! (Maybe not the only one, but it seems like it.)0 -
And this country won't let me marry my partner because of narrow minded people. However, married men and/or women can just choose to join a website to cheat on their spouses because of weight????? Yeah gotta love this. Good thing my skinny partner over there <<<< loves me regardless of what I weigh. Actually I weighed 260 when I met her and I can proudly say neither one of us have ever cheated with anyone else. But yeah my "gay" marriage will corrupt our country. They can blow it out the *kitten*.
I love you. (Not in a creepy way, but the support/admiration way.)
Thank you Kat and know what you mean. LOL My partner and I have been solidly commited for 11 years and yes we have trials and tribulations like any couple but we work them out. We dont go to the nearest bar or website to hook-up for meaningless sex. I actually have a sister that is gay also and she and her partner have been together for years and years. Our parents love us all and treat our partners just like their own daughters. We are in the middle of a hostile work environment/gay exploitation case right now with my partner's workplace for allowing an employee to video tape her while working on his cell phone and posting it on the web that "that this is what a big old *kitten* looks like". We've been receiving harrassing phone calls ever since and my partner is on medical leave due to the stress from work. But yeah a good old man and woman marriage with cheating is considered better than our devoted and commited partnership. Thank you USA and all the do-gooder voters that wont allow me to marry in MY state.
Another reason to LOVE NY. First, we accept and perform gay marriage . it took us awhile, but we got there. Second, if anyone ever did such a horrible thing to a gay co worker, they would be fired, put on tv and more then likely charged with a hate crime, which is a biggie HERE. Sorry all you Southerners, but the North continues to win. LOL
Amen and yes I know NY has finally come out of the dark ages. But I wont be happy until every state in our country allows gay marriage. It's called equality for all. Believe me I know and watch every state when they vote on this issue. What if we decided to discriminate against blondes or brunettes or whatever. Would the country say, heck yeah that's ok, let's take their rights away from them.
I just p'od that we are looked at as corrupting the country but a man and woman sanctified by marriage can cheat, lie, whatever and hey that's ok. That's the "good old boy" way of thinking. I'll die fighting for the next generation to have equal rights that I have been denied in my lifetime.0 -
Honestly, if you get married, you better believe the spark is going to fizzle at some point. That doesn't mean it can't come back. And if you're married, if you took that step and made that commitment, be an adult and take responsibility for that commitment. Unless your vows included, "For better or worse, in sickness or in health--unless you get fat," then you've no basis for cheating. You didn't tell your partner being skinny was a requirement. (Maybe you did, and if you were open about that, fine.) To suddenly make it a requirement is twisting a promise to suit your own selfish wants. If your partner gets fat and that bothers you and effects the marriage as you see it, be a grown up and deal with it between yourselves, and don't expect a renegotiation. You can make decisions about fixing your marriage or ending it, but in life as in love, you aren't owed anything. Marriage is work. If you can't hack that, don't bother. MaximalLife is a perfect example if you ask me. His wife communicated with him, didn't go behind his back, and he cared enough about himself and his marriage to do something about it. But it took serious work. He was willing to do that.0
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The shallowness and obvious degeneration of society is reflected in this type of behavior. The idea and perception of love has been blurred for many years with infatuation and / or lust being mistaken for love . If a feeling is so shallow that a change in appearance can alter it then love was never there to be lost . True love is giving and not receiving anything as " payment " in return . Love means laying down all that you are for another . Life is indeed too short for such shallowness when there is a much better alternative . Those that think this is just a natural reaction in a love relationship will one day find themselves old and unfulfilled because they sought imitation love disquised as beauty with people of the same value system .0
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you get married...(man or women) and then change dramatically? like in letting yourself go (get fat) and things change...life is short...why be unhappy?
Wrong on so many levels. LOVE is meant to be about more than looks.Welcome to planet Earth.
This whole absurd concept of fat acceptance has detached us from reality.
After an accident, I gained a ton of weight, and was just an elephant.
When I was fat, I was unattractive.
My wife, instead of having an affair, told me I should lose the weight or our marriage would end.
And I don't blame her one bit.
So, I got busy, lost the weight and all is well.
VERY WELL!
Most people are not going to be that direct. I am thankful that she was honest with me about this.
For any relationship to work, sexual compatibility is a must.
And weight gain ruins that no matter what lies you are being told about how it doesn't matter.
It matters - believe it!
I don't know if you got the wrong end of the stick or whatever - good luck to you in your relationship - that's probably what SHOULD happen.
HOWEVER, your mrs came to you, talked to you, you discussed it and decided to make a change, for yourself and for your marriage. Kudos, congratulations, and I mean that genuinely.
BUT, she didn't go out and cheat, did she? No, she did the grown up thing and talked about it. Which is the exact opposite of what this website is advertising and condoning.
Sometimes relationships fail, people change emotionally, psychologically as well as physically. None of these things are get out clauses for cheating. If you're unhappy, leave, end the relationship, get a divorce, whatever. Don't cheat.0 -
If you honestly loved the person in the first place, you wouldn't leave just because they've put on weight. That being said, my fiance and I have an agreement that if one of us ever thinks the other is getting so heavy that it's detrimental to our HEALTH (notice I didn't say marriage) that we would tell each other and work TOGETHER to get the weight off. Right now, he loves my body. He can hardly keep his hands off of me most days :blushing: but, he also knows that it causes problems with my knee and sometimes my back, so we're working together to lose weight and get in shape. He's also getting in shape because he wants to become a police officer, and he can't do so in shape he's currently in. I am his number one supporter, and he is mine. And neither one of us are afraid to give the other an *kitten*-kicking when need be (figuratively, of course.) In my opinion, if you can't do the same for your spouse and threaten to leave if they don't change, you were probably looking for an excuse to leave anyway. And if you cheat because they've gained weight? You don't love them anymore anyway. You simply do not cheat on someone you truly love.0
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The shallowness and obvious degeneration of society is reflected in this type of behavior. The idea and perception of love has been blurred for many years with infatuation and / or lust being mistaken for love . If a feeling is so shallow that a change in appearance can alter it then love was never there to be lost . True love is giving and not receiving anything as " payment " in return . Love means laying down all that you are for another . Life is indeed too short for such shallowness when there is a much better alternative . Those that think this is just a natural reaction in a love relationship will one day find themselves old and unfulfilled because they sought imitation love disquised as beauty with people of the same value system .
Couldn't have said it better myself :drinker:0 -
The major problem is this society is prone to not committing to anything! Also, we are on a "happy" high. If this doesn't make me happy I quit, if she/he doesn't make me happy quit, this healthy lifestyle no longer makes me happy quit. The vow is For better or for worse, till death do us part. Not for better, or worse, or unless they become really unattractive and you are no longer happy. People have been married for 50 years who have had many unhappy days but they are committed, to make it work.
Relationships aren't hunky dory everyday, there are periods of trials, and days when you just don't want to see their face. However, the committed part is the love part. You don't fall out of love with someone because they gained 30 lbs, to me you were never truley loved that person, infatuated, lustful yes!
We have to get the focus off of what hollywood says is sexy, or these lingerie ads says is sexy and we must have a value system set far above what they force feed us on a daily base. I understand that not everyone is Christian in this room, but I have to say, this society needs a healthy respect for the Lord and his word, before we can defeat foolishness like this ad!
I'm just sayin'...
I agree. Relationships aren't all googly-eyes and butterflies. There will be times that you aren't happy with your spouse or with your life. But you work through it together, and stick with your commitment. Real, honest, love is about the choices you make every day. Enduring love is, above all else, a CHOICE.
Beyond that, I do want to point out that not only Christians have morals and abhor this type of behavior and mentality. Just sayin'.
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I don't agree with cheating but I don't think you should be with someone who let themselves go and you're not attracted to them anymore. We can't hate on the person who created the site but rather the people who are on it. They pay this man. The site wouldn't be open if there wasn't people using it.0
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Both men and women cheat. and I know people who are on the site and have talked to many of them. I can see the letting yourself go but not the ugly thing. I mean it's not liek you can get "ugly" but yes you can get "fat". My problem is if you don't talk to your spouse/signficant other about it, then they will never know that you're unhappy so as long as they are overweight, you'll always cheat? To me it's not fair to have your cake and eat it too. It's one or the other.
But unfortunately, this site is not successful for no reason. Enough people out there are having affairs to keep this site going.It is also a dating site and not *just* for affairs. Also, a lot of people on that site are looking for a third person to join them AND some that the other spouse is aware of what the other is doing.0 -
I understand that beauty is only skin deep, etc., HOWEVER, if you were attracted to someone from the beginning and then they dramatically gained weight (or I guess it could even go the opposite way and become too thin) for your liking and you re no longer attracted to them physically then the relationship should end OR discussed before deciding to just have an affair. Not just for vanity reason but health also. Being overweight is just as not healthy as being underweight. An affair won't fix your marriage or help it.
If my husband doubled in size, I would not be physically attracted to him anymore, nor would he be the same man I was attracted to at the beginning. Yes I would still love him, but intimicy is important as is his health. I want my husband to always find me attractive and be attracted to me and same goes for him. If we were both heavier and that's what we were attracted to from the beginning, and then one of us lost a lot of weight, the marriage would suffer.
We are not shallow, but physical appearance does play a role in being attracted to someone, whether big, small, medium, tall, short, etc.0 -
It has been around awhile...and when I was single signed up for it to see what kind of people were on there. I was shocked to find men who had pregnant wives looking for someone. Alot of desperate people out there. I got off the site pretty quick. But it was interesting to look at....and no, I did not meet with anyone. lol0
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