venting (cussing)

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  • Dtho5159
    Dtho5159 Posts: 1,054 Member
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    Just venting online is not going to stop you from bingeing - what happens next time that you feel upset??

    I believe someone did give you the option of what to do instead of eating, go out and get some excercise even if you excercise in the house.

    Also, how do you expect people not to give their two cents?? All we can tell by your post is that your upset with your dad treating you like a baby; by your posts I can tell you act like a baby.

    If your medicated why can't you get a job? Like someone mentioned, atleast a part time job...there are ALWAYS options..if I can go into a grocery store and see a mentally handicapped person working WHY CANT YOU WORK??

    Part of being fat is due to the excuses that we make.. excuses on why we cant go out an excercise, why we cant buy the healthy food instead of the unhealthy food -- -based on your posts all I hear is excuses on why you can't better yourself. COUNSELING is what you need, and this site is not going to give you that...this site is going to give you support -- part of SUPPORT is telling you WHAT YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR.

    I think Max is right on the money -- set some goals on where you want to be in life and get there, don't sit back taking meds and using it as an excuse.

    As long as you live in your parents home you need to be respectful of their rules...

    THIS! I worked in a grocery store where they hired baggers that were mentally handicapped or disabled of some kind. Its not much but it would be SOMETHING. In every state, there are many programs that are to aid with helping people find what they need to eventually be on their own.

    Im 27 as well and Ive been married almost 8 years and have 2 small kids. And before I had kids and decided to be a SAHM, I worked full time in said grocery store and I was pushing 220-240lbs and was on my feet for 8-10 hrs a day. It wasn't easy but at the time we needed the income.
  • gatecityradio
    gatecityradio Posts: 401
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    And this is why I'm not a crazy right winged christian....
  • TriciaZ944
    TriciaZ944 Posts: 317 Member
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    First off... Food isn't going to make this better. Yes you could go stuff yourself for a quick fix but as soon as you are done you will feel like crap, get depressed that you stuffed yourself then you are back to being miserable.

    Second, I get that you don't get along with your father and I'll tell you what I tell my students, you can only control your own behaviors, you can't control what others do. With that said, try not to swear, in front of your father. You do live in his home so respect his rules.

    When people offered you alternatives to eating, all I really read was excuses. I get we all need to vent but I think where people get frustrated is if you put yourself out there they want to help so they offer up advice and when the only relation is excuses of why that won't work it becomes frustrating for the individual trying to help you.

    I am sorry you are going through some difficult situations in your life and your father only adds to the stress but try to find something to help yourself. I agree with the counseling advice... That would be a huge help to you. It gives a safe environment with a qualified individual to listen. Finding ways to exercise is another alternative... There are tons of at home exercise programs that can help with this.

    Writing appears to be a good outlet for you, keep doing that.

    Good luck, stay positive and stay true to yourself.
  • AnarchoGen
    AnarchoGen Posts: 400 Member
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    And this is why I'm not a crazy right winged christian....

    LMAO!!!
  • Venus2011
    Venus2011 Posts: 82
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    Wow. I never thought I would see something like this on here. Girl, put on your dancing shoes,turn your radio on and "Dance to the music, Dance to the music!!!!" Clap your hands,stomp your feet and move that body!!!!! 1-2-3 to the left, 1-2-3 to the right. 2 steps back and 2 steps forward. Now do your turn and keep moving. :bigsmile:
  • LadyFaile
    LadyFaile Posts: 60
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    It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. It also sounds like you are making some steps in the right direction but still feeling overwhelmed.

    I applaud you for getting medication to help you with your depression. I firmly believe that only those who have experienced depression can truly understand how debilitating it can be. Many of the things that you listed your father taking issue with, are behaviors that depression brings out in some people. You've stated that your medication has helped some but isn't getting all the way there, and you need to visit your doctor to get your dosage upped. I heavily encourage you to do this as soon as possible. Preferably tomorrow. The sooner you can get the dosage adjusted, the sooner you have the change to regain more control over your emotions, thoughts, and life.

    You haven't mentioned any counseling in your replies. If there is any way possible for you to seek out the help of a good counselor, don't hesitate to do it. You are dealing with so much with the divorce, issues with your Dad, depression, and the binge eating. Any one of these alone would be a good reason to work with a counselor. I speak from personal experience when I say that they can make the world of difference.

    With where you are in your life, I'm sure that it took a lot of courage to reach out for support to avoid binge eating. That's awesome. It also sounds like you took the advice to exercise. Even better. Keep your chin up and keep working to improve your life and you will get there!
  • 99Tinkerbell
    99Tinkerbell Posts: 384
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    Need to set a goal to get healthy so that maybe you will be able to get out. Life is too short and negativity is a bummer. It's taking me a long time but I have distanced myself from all the negative people in my life! You will feel such relief when you are able to do so! Good luck I wish you the best!
  • maddymama
    maddymama Posts: 1,183 Member
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    First of all I am not activily trying to get prego. im trying to get fit so i can Ovulate!!!!!
    Second: alot of you are freaking out cause i say something about drinking. i drink once ever 2 or 3 months. I drink at home ive never driven drunk.


    People are "freaking out" because all we have to go on is what YOU have supplied. In your profile you say you want to get pregnant, not ovulate. If you want to ovulate- change what you wrote. We are only going on what information you have given us.
    As for the drinking, I don't care if it's once a day, once a month, or once a year. If you are depressed- drinking hurts your depression.I was clinically depressed, and I couldn't drink for YEARS after I recovered. One drink could undo months of progress.
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
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    Ok i came here to vent and look for support. a couple of you are just making things WAY worse. Im trying not to turn to food.
    I dont expect you guys to fix my problems. but you dont have to be a jerk about it like Max.
    I have issus and cant get a job. I know that Moving cost LOTS of money. so thats out.
    Sometime ppl just need to vent.
    to those of you who have said kind words, telling me im beautiful and such THANK YOU.

    I am sorry to say this, but tough love and not hearing what you want to hear doesn't make someone being a jerk or being mean. They are being honest and REAL.

    I had medication issues and I still worked and lived on my own. You such it up and do what you have to do. I had no one and would have been alone and homeless in the street if I didn't do what I had to do.

    You have the choice. File for Disability if you truly can not hold a job. Even my sister who is more severely bi-polar than I am is able to get a job and hold one down now and she has medication issues also.

    You came here looking for sympathy and for people to fall into your sorrow. Suck it up. Your right, you are 27, it is time to act like it.
  • melissanne81
    melissanne81 Posts: 34
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    That sounds like a very frustrating situation. I do think that an adult child who still lives at home and requires financial assistance from their parents should follow their parents rules to a tee without complaint. However, your Dad should be able to discuss his disapproval of your behavior without resorting to verbal abuse. There needs to be some mutual respect. I won't even touch on the baby issue because that just makes my blood boil but it's ultimately none of my business
  • StatutoryGrape
    StatutoryGrape Posts: 365
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    So... I don't know what you are going through, just what you posted.

    Here's my two cents: If you are depressed, why are you even thinking about drinking alcohol? That is bad, bad, bad.... it'll make your depression worse. If you were deprressed and living in my house and drinking, I'd be UPSET.........
    If you are depressed, why are you even thinking about bringing another life into the mix? You aren't in a stable position, and you parents are probably trying to point that out to you- just not in the most effective manner.
    If you are living in your parents house, you SHOULD respect their rules (cussing, sex, etc.). You should be happy that you are not living on the streets. If I went against my parents rules (at any age) they'd kick me out so fast. Think about contributing to the household. Can you get a part time job,work from home, take classes online? Can you clean the house, cook dinner, etc.?

    If you can exercise, you can do alot to fix your situation- I've been through everything that you've been through (except the divorce). Every option people here have given you has been met with a "can't"- change that thinking to a "can." I can set a plan to move out, I can set a plan to get a job (somehow, somewhere).

    Good luck!

    Quoted for truth.
  • lvng_lf
    lvng_lf Posts: 43 Member
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    It's obvious we've caught you at a low point. it's usually not pretty for any of us. I'd like to think you typically have better days.

    a little advice if you don't mind....
    Eating food to deal is only hurting YOU and lessening YOUR control over YOUSELF! I hope you were able to step away from the temptation.
    If you can't work, volunteer so that you can step away from your family and be exposed to other functioning human beings. YOU need to be productive!!!! it's very good for self worth!
    invest into a good self help book, therapy or/and group support. You're already taking the meds for the chemical imbalance, make sure the meds are effective enough and the rest is up to YOU.

    a few of my favorite sayings.....
    If YOU do the same thing YOU'VE always done, YOU'LL continue to get the same results.
    YOU cannot change the way others behave but YOU can change the way YOU react to them and deal with the situation.
    YOU can't avoid the storm, YOU need to find a way to dance through it and let it pass when it's over.

    GOOD LUCK!!
  • krupskaya
    krupskaya Posts: 24 Member
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    You need to get out of your father's home as soon as possible. Whilst you're living there it is not unreasonable to expect you to follow his rules. Why are you even cussing in front of him? Why does he know you're having sex? These things wouldn't upset him if he didn't know, which he shouldn't! I think you should explore EVERY avenue in finding ways of moving out so you can live on your own. Whilst you live in his house you should be respecting your father's rules. End of.

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