once a cheater always a cheater - true or false?

Doing stupid things as a teenager is expected. You were about 16 when this happened? I can see that... who hasn't done stupid things as a teenager??

For me - a married adult - if my husband cheated on me it really wouldn't matter because I wouldn't stay around to find out.
We're adults. It's a choice. Cheating is a disrespecting, dishonorable, selfish, cowardly choice.

If a person is so weak that they're willing to potentially sacrifice their relationship or family for a cheap thrill, they should not be in a committed relationship.

If a person is so miserable in their current relationship they enter into a full fledged affair - they should have left the bad relationship.

My view as a 39 year old woman is: There is no justification for cheating. It means that you are weak of moral character and cowardly. Chances are you'll stay that way too.

I always say there are 2 types of cheaters...

One type cheats like there's no tomorrow. You can say they don't have a conscious. They do it for whatever reason and usually don't think about the consequences. These cheaters I'd say will always be cheaters. It's a condition of the heart. Even if they physically stop cheating, they'll always play around with the idea. They'll enjoy playing with fire w/o the burn.

Then there are the cheaters who make the biggest mistake of their life. They're remorseful, they're disgusted with themselves and will do anything to make it right. These usually will never cheat again because they're terrified at the hurt they caused. Also, these folks will stay away from anything remotely close to cheating because they know how easy the slippery slope is. These are cheaters who once were.. but not always will be.

Tough question with lots of situational variables, but if we're talking about mature adults who have outgrown the "date more than one person at a time" attitude of high school or college - I think for some, it could be a careless mistake that they sorely regret. For others, it's a habit like any other and they either have the self discipline to break it or they don't.

Early in a relationship there can often be misunderstanding about the expectation of monogamy - the earlier this question is discussed, the more clear the consequences.

I've been married 15 years, and have been with my husband for 17 years now. He knows there are only two reasons I would ever leave: physical abuse or infidelity. In my mind, they're equally devastating and wouldn't ever warrant a second chance.

pretty sure you can't throw anyone that's ever cheated into one of the two camps.

it's like saying "men are pigs" or "women are sh*tty drivers"

far too dumb of a statement.

pretty sure you can't throw anyone that's ever cheated into one of the two camps.

it's like saying "men are pigs" or "women are sh*tty drivers"

far too dumb of a statement.

I totally agree with this!

I always say there are 2 types of cheaters...

One type cheats like there's no tomorrow. You can say they don't have a conscious. They do it for whatever reason and usually don't think about the consequences. These cheaters I'd say will always be cheaters. It's a condition of the heart. Even if they physically stop cheating, they'll always play around with the idea. They'll enjoy playing with fire w/o the burn.

Then there are the cheaters who make the biggest mistake of their life. They're remorseful, they're disgusted with themselves and will do anything to make it right. These usually will never cheat again because they're terrified at the hurt they caused. Also, these folks will stay away from anything remotely close to cheating because they know how easy the slippery slope is. These are cheaters who once were.. but not always will be.

^^^^^ This.

I hope false. I am not a cheater, but have been cheated on! I think it was his way of dealing with a tough time in our relationship. Not to mention that some only want what they can't really ever completely have. This amazes me. People can be dogs all on their own...Don't help them out!

Not sure what the statistics would be; it may be more true than false. In my paerticular case, I am going to say False.

I'm married to my 4th wife. I've had many relationships in my life.

I have to say that I cheated on every woman I ever had a relationship or marriage to, until I met Jan. I have been with her for 23 years now and never strayed once.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm older now and less attractive or if Jan is the only woman that still likes me, but I have never cheated on her and I am 100% sure I never will. Flirt like crazy, occasionally make inappropriate comments, but I will never betray her trust.

False. But as with most things, it depends on a lot of factors. Such as whether the relationship is meeting everyone's needs, and whether the people IN the relationship are fully in touch with themselves and their emotions/motivations.

It really does depend. For me, I'd be too disgusted with myself for cheating that I don't think I'd ever do it again. Like a lot of other people that posted, when I was a teenager...well, I guess technically I still am, but when I was a much younger teenager, I did cheat on a boyfriend once, and lied about it, too. I didn't really consider it cheating what I was doing, but it had turned out that my bf at the time did, so I guess it was. Anyway, even though both of those guys never amounted to anything, and are total *kitten*, I still feel bad about what I did. It was a sleezy thing to do. Since I met my fiance two years ago, though, I haven't even been attracted to another man. I just haven't gotten the urge to look because I like what I have right here. So, no, once a cheater, not always a cheater.