RANT: obese people that PUSH dieting advice!!

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  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
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    hey i am obese but i like to think i can give advise! :bigsmile:
  • chammich
    chammich Posts: 104 Member
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    She doesn't sound like a very good friend.:noway:
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    You can't listen to an obese person because obviously their advice didn't work for them.



    Although this may be true, be careful. I for instance am training to become a Personal Trainer.
    If anyone I didn't know before losing the weight I have, they find out what I am studying for just look at me and raise an eyebrow.

    BUT, since you know her history, its okay...
  • thor1god1of1awesome
    thor1god1of1awesome Posts: 481 Member
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    You can't listen to an obese person because obviously their advice didn't work for them.

    You can't listen to a fit person because they don't understand what its like to be obese.

    However you CAN listen to this man! He has lived both lives.

    http://www.fit2fat2fit.com/
    What a crock. As a obese person i actully have a hell of lot of knowledge about diet, it just know Im starting to apply it. And to say a fit person doesnt understand? You have no idea what that person has gone through, or they may have body dismorphic disorder. I hate when people assume something about a person.
  • monkeymouse74
    monkeymouse74 Posts: 288
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    Frenemy alert!!! Cut it out your life, and stop posting on FB, you wont get the support you need on it. That's why we have mfp. The support is here! You dont need to talk to her about your weightloss and fitness plan, just live it. The results speak for themselves...:flowerforyou:
  • TGomo
    TGomo Posts: 35
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    Your "friend" (I hesitate calling someone who acts like that a true friend) sounds obnoxious and extremely insecure about you succeeding. I am sure as you head off for a healthy life - she is fearful she will be left behind. She needs to walk the walk or keep her unsolicited advice to herself! If you truly need support - this is the right place to be!! Best of luck in your weight loss efforts!
  • nerdieprofessor
    nerdieprofessor Posts: 512 Member
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    1) Why are you talking to 300 pound person about your diet and then not liking her response?

    2) If her mom is a nutritionist she might know more than you about dieting, but just not use that knowledge herself.

    If you don't like the way someone responds to you on a given subject, stop talking to them about that subject. Sheesh.

    Not everyone who weighs more than you, knows less than you. What a way to judge people!

    As an overweight person who has lost a lot of weight, I possibly know more about dieting, food and nutrition than many a skinny person. As an overweight person who has done a huge amount of athletic training and athletic events, I possible know a lot more about training than many a skinny person.

    Don't judge a book by its cover.
  • imarose6968
    imarose6968 Posts: 7
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    At the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you. It's not that you can't listen to her, because what she is saying may be true. I know a lot about nutrition an diet, but for years didn't apply it on a consistent bases in my life and I was out of control with my eating. Doesn't make my knowledge and info I had wrong. I didn't however make it a point of bullying people who were trying to make their lives better or offer advice unless someone asked. Your friend may be jealous and hating a bit because you are changing your life. If she is saying something that is true and you can use it, then use it, but if she is just being a Debbie Downer the tell her she should take her own advice and see who loses the most weight. Maybe that will motivate her an she get to losing weight also.
  • Tattoos_and_Tea
    Tattoos_and_Tea Posts: 529 Member
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    She doesnt sound like a very good friend.....she requires ditching me thinks.
  • slayerdan
    slayerdan Posts: 193
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    fat people can give good advice. Just because they dont follow it, doesnt mean they dont know it.

    Ever go to a doctor that tells you to stop smoking but his hands smell like cigs? tells you to lower your cholesterol and eat right and you see the burger bag on his desk.

    Ive seen crackheads at my place tell people to never smoke crack, itll kill you. And they leave and go smoke crack. Having knowledge that is useful doesnt mean you always use it.
  • Elle_Jamaicangirl81
    Elle_Jamaicangirl81 Posts: 418 Member
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    your friend need to take her own advice tho..
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    You can't listen to an obese person because obviously their advice didn't work for them.

    You can't listen to a fit person because they don't understand what its like to be obese.

    However you CAN listen to this man! He has lived both lives.

    http://www.fit2fat2fit.com/
    What a crock. As a obese person i actully have a hell of lot of knowledge about diet, it just know Im starting to apply it. And to say a fit person doesnt understand? You have no idea what that person has gone through, or they may have body dismorphic disorder. I hate when people assume something about a person.

    This.
  • OneLuckyRabbit
    OneLuckyRabbit Posts: 67 Member
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    Next time she gives "advice" on what is and isn't healthy you can always reply, "being morbidly obese isn't healthy either, but that doesn't seem to have stopped you." That may be a bit mean-spirited, though...
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    1) Why are you talking to 300 pound person about your diet and then not liking her response?

    2) If her mom is a nutritionist she might know more than you about dieting, but just not use that knowledge herself.

    If you don't like the way someone responds to you on a given subject, stop talking to them about that subject. Sheesh.

    Not everyone who weighs more than you, knows less than you. What a way to judge people!

    As an overweight person who has lost a lot of weight, I possibly know more about dieting, food and nutrition than many a skinny person. As an overweight person who has done a huge amount of athletic training and athletic events, I possible know a lot more about training than many a skinny person.

    Don't judge a book by its cover.
  • surfrgrl1
    surfrgrl1 Posts: 1,464 Member
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    Some friends need to be "fired", she sounds like one of them.
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
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    Pack a mirror in your bag. Whenever she starts going off about what you're doing, hold the mirror up so she can see herself.

    YES ^this lol
  • slayerdan
    slayerdan Posts: 193
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    The people here saying she isnt a good friend and you need to stop talking to her blah blah....you guys are the main reason people shouldnt post their problems on sites like this....what a stuipid knee jerk reaction--fat people saying to defriend the fat person because they cant follow their own advice----amazing that because youve lost a few pounds you are now an internet sage.
  • LiquidSugarr
    LiquidSugarr Posts: 50 Member
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    I have a friend whos is super obese, she is 5' 4 inches and weighs 298, yet every single time I try to talk about my diet she acts like shes an expert because her mom is a nutrishionst. I was talking about my carbs being at 150, she started FREAKING out on me about how there is NO excuse for ANYONE to eat that many carbs a day, and MFP is a crock if it sets your carbs so high, its setting you up for failure and your just gonna mess everything up, and to quit now before I destroy my chances at a "good diet" this went on for what seemed like forever I tried to argue that I wasn't doing some elimination diet, I needed to LEARN how to control what I put in my mouth, quanities and moderation, and she freaked out again. NO, its not about moderation, its about changing your life and what you eat. If you go out to dinner and they offer you a bread basket, its not about stopping yourself after one peice of bread, its about being able to not eat the bread at all. I told her that type of life style/ diet would never work for me, because I would start to feel like i'm suffering "without" and I just wanted to focus on eating RIGHT, and not about what I can and can not eat. Again, starts flipping out. "my mom is a nutrishionst, she knows this ****, if you don't want my advice dont talk to me about this crap, I don't want to hear it!" so I stopped talking to her about it...for awhile.
    Than just a few days ago she noticed that I posted on facebook that I had lost 16 lbs, and she starts FREAKING out about that, it's only been 3 weeks, if youve managed to lose 16 lbs your doing it the wrong way and your just gonna fail, and your skin will never tighten and youll look worse "skinny" than you would fat. Your just messing everything up. I tried to remind her that at least 8 lbs of that was inital water weight, but she still freaked out on me. I also tried to remind her that not everyone can diet the same and that no two people have the same idea of "do's and don'ts" with eating healthier.
    So now to my final point. Today. Just now, infact the conversation is still going on as I type this, but i've just got to the point where I'm like, "yeah, your right" "uhh huhh" "i know" and not truly paying attention. Lol
    Anyway, I asked her if she had any recepies for low cal/carb deserts or treats to curve my sweet tooth. she said "you don't want to do that, it will jsut lead to more and more junk, and than youll get even more fat, and than it will never stop, you need to cut it out COMPLEATLY, I never had much of a sweet tooth, but my downfall was bread and until I cut it out compleatly I cheated, and you cant cheat on a diet, you need to go at least 6 months before you touch a sweet so you no longer have the cravings, and you can eat less of it" I instantly got peeved. Shes talking to me like shes a weight loss expert, when she DID manage too lose nearly 60 lbs, than GAIN it ALL back and than some within less than a years time. I hate it when super big people **and I'm a super big person myself** try to preach health advice, because CLEARLY, all my ideas of "health" worked out for me...RIGHT?? It makes no sence. Like a few weeks ago **before I started my life change** I was talking about eating animal crackers, and she starts spazzing out, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CALORIES ARE IN THAT" than SLAPS it from my hand and throws it in the trash....I dont know about you, but I did't become over 200 lbs from eating salad and lean meats....so how could someone be nearly 300 lbs and have any idea of health conscience choices??? GAHH I just want to yell at her. ANYWAYYY Any low cal or low carb, or BOTH, treat recepes anyone?? I NEED MY FIX!

    Wow.. If she was my friend I'd end our friendship just because that seems hella annoying. As for recipes go to skinnytaste.com and tablespoon.com.
  • Aeriel
    Aeriel Posts: 864 Member
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    Moderation in my food choices was how I have finally succeeded in losing my weight. I severely reduced pasta in my meal choices, but still have it occasionally. I still use cream and sugar in my coffee, but 1 tbsp/1tsp now instead of free pour and triple sugar. I eat bread, but only one or two slices a day, instead of 4 or more, and whole grain instead of white. I eat cheese, but weigh out a portion size properly. Etc etc.

    I am like you that if I deprive myself totally, one day I will snap with a fierce craving, cave in and binge on it. Now that I have my willpower running, I can have a cookie or a piece of pastry, and quit at one, but it does take time to know yourself well enough to be able to stop at one. Even now, after nearly 2 years, I have bad days.....yesterday I ate a muffin, a donut hole, a brownie and 1/2 a cinnamon bun....and then spent 75 minutes on the exercise bike burning it off. :laugh: One day won't kill your losses, it is your overall attitude and long term habits that determine your success or failure. Good luck! :drinker:
  • lauehorn
    lauehorn Posts: 183
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    Reading between the lines, it sounds like your friend is projecting her own fears and insecurities on you. Maybe your friend is afraid if you change, that she'll be left behind. Maybe having another friend with a weight struggle is a security blanket for her? I would say that you listen less to what she's saying and more to what she's not. Invite her to go walking with you. Invite her over for a healthy dinner. Basically, invite her to be a part of this journey with you. See if that changes her attitude. It may not, as she may not be ready to make a change, but it sounds like she's hurting and taking it out (unfairly) on you.

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