Losing weight and dealing with some of the compliments

I for one feel the exact opposite - I love for someone to say Wow you look really good - it is just a boost to my confidence because face it if we thought we were all that before we wouldn't have started this journey ..... waiting on my Wow moment!
Everyone is different though and so just try not to take it that way and take pride in what you have accomplished !!

I especially hate the comment regarding "your face looks so much smaller". I must have had one honkin big fat moon of a face 70 lbs. ago.

First of all congrats to you on your loss. I totally know how you feel........sometimes you feel like you get the back handed compliment. We have all been there. I would say just take in all the positive compliments and stay focused your goals.

"I for one feel the exact opposite - I love for someone to say Wow you look really good - it is just a boost to my confidence because face it if we thought we were all that before we wouldn't have started this journey ..... waiting on my Wow moment!
Everyone is different though and so just try not to take it that way and take pride in what you have accomplished !!"

I love that response! For the most part, I know when people make those comments they arent meant to imply anything negative about pre-weight loss you, they just simply are meant to congratulate a noticable goal accomplishment. Even the rude comments which you may feel are out of line, you should "take pride", as noted previously, and not let ANYONE get you down! Easier sad than done, but as you know with exercise & diet you get healthy physical results, so now that you got the "physical" down, dont forget the "emotional & spiritual". Negativity generates more negativity, its up to you to stop the cycle. you got this!

congrats on your journey.

I agree with both of these posters. It is way too easy to get down on yourself so try to remember that these people meant these things in a kind way and to be encouraging but sometimes things don't come out the way people mean them.

I've gotten "your arms look so much smaller!" I didm't think my arms were that bad lol

Okay, please don't take my post the wrong way because those are typically the compliments I would give someone who's lost weight..."Wow, you look great!", or "You've lost weight, great job!" I guess I think that if someone has been trying so hard to lose weight, they would appreciate people noticing and complimenting them.

So my question is.... What kind of compliments DO you want then if you don't like people telling you that you look good?? Would you rather have no one say anything at all?

I especially hate the comment regarding "your face looks so much smaller". I must have had one honkin big fat moon of a face 70 lbs. ago.

I love this compliment, because I did have a fat moon face when I started. (2 years, 40+ lbs ago)

i have had anxiety over what to say when those compliments start coming to the point that i let it hold me back from starting. like it's almost embarrassing to admit that i needed to lose weight.

No offense, but seriously.....why not just enjoy the compliments and the fact that you're looking better. While I see where you're coming from, I'd focus on enjoying the ride rather than over analyze things that really don't matter.

Someone at my office just said something to me the other day, and I nearly started crying. She said "You've lost SO MUCH WEIGHT in the last couple months!"

It was FANTASTIC to hear, because while I know my measurements have changed, I haven't lost a pound.... and for someone to point it out meant SO MUCH to me.

So honestly I hope this thread doesn't keep people from pointing it out, because sometimes we need someone to point it out to motivate us to keep going.

It's something I call negative positivity. Those people are being genuine in complimenting you that you look great, because they didn't think you needed to change and now suddenly they see that you are more confident and happier in yourself and it shows in abundance - it's a shock for them just as much as it for us.

But what they don't realise is how we take the compliment, and to be honest why should they? We all do it. Somone says to me 'wow you look amazing, I can't believe how much weight you've lost' my immediate thought is - did you think I weighed the size of a small elephant? And no they didn't they are just stating a fact based on their own perception me and how Iused to look and they think they are being complmentary. And they are. It's because we have such a hang up about how we used to look that we want the 'oh you look amazing' but we hang a negative off the back of it because for years we've hidden behind layer of self doubt, loathing and fat.

When someone says to you, 'You look amazing, great, so alive' etc.... smile, say Thank you and mean it. And then hold your head up high that they've recognised your hard work.... they're not saying it to make you think what you looked like before, they're saying it because it's true. You DO look amazing.

I feel the exact opposite as you. I get really happy that they noticed my hard work.

I haven't been in your position as I haven't lost much yet, but I think you should remind yourself that these people have good intentions. They are trying to make you feel good about your accomplishments, not bad about how you used to look. I bet it never even crossed anyone's mind that you might take their comments negatively. Not only that, but losing weight is hard and most people try to lose weight at least some time in their lives, so I'm sure they are complimenting you for being so successful and not just necessarily only because you look better or because you looked bad before. :flowerforyou:

Well, yes.
What they're really saying is..

"...wow! you were such a walrus - so ugly and totally loathsome, and now? You look almost normal".....

Just accept the kind words and be glad most people don't speak their real minds.

Accept the compliment for what it is worth. It's a compliment. Thinking way too much trying to analyze it. Enjoy it. Relish it.