Losing weight and dealing with some of the compliments

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raven56706
raven56706 Posts: 918 Member
in Success Stories
You know... this weight loss is bitter sweet... i mean we lose weight and love the compliments but its these compliments that are troubling "my god where is your other half," or "you look great" or "oh my god you look so good"... i mean i know being big isnt the best but hell what the hell was i before... a freaking monster...

I mean i know that i wasnt healthy and whatever but then its like jesus was i just this big disgusting animal. And a bigger blimp than those on the freaking Biggest loser show... i mean i wasnt but holy crap sometimes that brings me down to the fact that life before this was a complete lie...

Last night thats what happened... went to see old co workers and those are the comments i got... i as i said... it was great to see the work i have been doing has paid off but holy crap...

i dont know ... what do you think?
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Replies

  • gtwin
    gtwin Posts: 290 Member
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    I'm the same way. I've gotten, "wow, you've lost A LOT of weight" or "you look so much better"......I'd rather not get the compliments and for them to keep their comments to themselves. Those kinds of comments make me feel worse, instead of motivating me. I was like you.....I thought to myself, Wow....I must've looked huge before.
  • kspoon5
    kspoon5 Posts: 239 Member
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    I for one feel the exact opposite - I love for someone to say Wow you look really good - it is just a boost to my confidence because face it if we thought we were all that before we wouldn't have started this journey ..... waiting on my Wow moment!
    Everyone is different though and so just try not to take it that way and take pride in what you have accomplished !!
  • carrollel
    carrollel Posts: 57 Member
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    "I for one feel the exact opposite - I love for someone to say Wow you look really good - it is just a boost to my confidence because face it if we thought we were all that before we wouldn't have started this journey ..... waiting on my Wow moment!
    Everyone is different though and so just try not to take it that way and take pride in what you have accomplished !!"

    I love that response! For the most part, I know when people make those comments they arent meant to imply anything negative about pre-weight loss you, they just simply are meant to congratulate a noticable goal accomplishment. Even the rude comments which you may feel are out of line, you should "take pride", as noted previously, and not let ANYONE get you down! Easier sad than done, but as you know with exercise & diet you get healthy physical results, so now that you got the "physical" down, dont forget the "emotional & spiritual". Negativity generates more negativity, its up to you to stop the cycle. you got this! :)

    congrats on your journey.
  • demningoreilly
    demningoreilly Posts: 59
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    I especially hate the comment regarding "your face looks so much smaller". I must have had one honkin big fat moon of a face 70 lbs. ago.
  • mamasasa
    mamasasa Posts: 90 Member
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    When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment! ~Jillian Michaels

    A compliment is just that. Don't let "stinking thinking" in and focus on how healthy you are. Focus on the now! And keep up the awesome work!
  • sandywack
    sandywack Posts: 9 Member
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    First of all congrats to you on your loss. I totally know how you feel........sometimes you feel like you get the back handed compliment. We have all been there. I would say just take in all the positive compliments and stay focused your goals.
  • lmbame905
    lmbame905 Posts: 84 Member
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    What I don't like, is when (fat) people tell me, "Are you crazy? You don't need to lose any more weight!" Is that a compliment, or do you jsut want me to stay big so you can feel better about yourself?

    I do love it when people say nice things. I haven't gotten any rude comments, YET! :)
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
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    "I for one feel the exact opposite - I love for someone to say Wow you look really good - it is just a boost to my confidence because face it if we thought we were all that before we wouldn't have started this journey ..... waiting on my Wow moment!
    Everyone is different though and so just try not to take it that way and take pride in what you have accomplished !!"

    I love that response! For the most part, I know when people make those comments they arent meant to imply anything negative about pre-weight loss you, they just simply are meant to congratulate a noticable goal accomplishment. Even the rude comments which you may feel are out of line, you should "take pride", as noted previously, and not let ANYONE get you down! Easier sad than done, but as you know with exercise & diet you get healthy physical results, so now that you got the "physical" down, dont forget the "emotional & spiritual". Negativity generates more negativity, its up to you to stop the cycle. you got this! :)

    congrats on your journey.

    I agree with both of these posters. It is way too easy to get down on yourself so try to remember that these people meant these things in a kind way and to be encouraging but sometimes things don't come out the way people mean them.
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    I'm confused. Are you complaining that people are complimenting you? :huh:
  • cassidygrooms
    cassidygrooms Posts: 64
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    I've gotten "your arms look so much smaller!" I didm't think my arms were that bad lol
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    yes to each is own but i dont get how ppl get offended over these things
    you lost weight cause u knew that you needed to! dont be angry cause someone noticed your hard work! LOSING IS DAMN HARD, BE PROUD! if you thought u looked fab, you wouldnt have lost the weight! u knew there were issues and u took care of them, stop the bitter and be sweet! be happy and say thank you!!!
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    Okay, please don't take my post the wrong way because those are typically the compliments I would give someone who's lost weight..."Wow, you look great!", or "You've lost weight, great job!" I guess I think that if someone has been trying so hard to lose weight, they would appreciate people noticing and complimenting them.

    So my question is.... What kind of compliments DO you want then if you don't like people telling you that you look good?? Would you rather have no one say anything at all?
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
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    I wouldn't find those compliments offensive. When you compliment someone on their success are you really saying "I'm glad you don't look like a monster anymore."? Didn't think so. Compliments like that, when I say them anyways, are said out of proudness because I know that even just losing 5lbs is hard so significant amounts are definitely worth celebrating. And also because they look healthier and happier and that makes me happy.
  • rockrosie
    rockrosie Posts: 59 Member
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    I especially hate the comment regarding "your face looks so much smaller". I must have had one honkin big fat moon of a face 70 lbs. ago.

    I love this compliment, because I did have a fat moon face when I started. (2 years, 40+ lbs ago)
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    I'm confused. Are you complaining that people are complimenting you? :huh:

    ^^^this!!
  • michellereneejenkins
    michellereneejenkins Posts: 16 Member
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    i have had anxiety over what to say when those compliments start coming to the point that i let it hold me back from starting. like it's almost embarrassing to admit that i needed to lose weight.
  • karhaz123
    karhaz123 Posts: 35
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    My worst compliment was "You have such a pretty face, your husband won't be able to keep his hands off of you when you lose the weight!" Wow...
  • Jipples
    Jipples Posts: 663 Member
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    No offense, but seriously.....why not just enjoy the compliments and the fact that you're looking better. While I see where you're coming from, I'd focus on enjoying the ride rather than over analyze things that really don't matter.
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    Reality is...I WAS FAT. One reason I didn't start my journey sooner than Jan. 2011 is because it took me a LONG TIME to realize that I wasn't meaty, chubby or just plain overweight...I WAS FAT. I don't have a problem reminding myself that I WAS FAT because it helps me stay on course on this journey. I like to remember the things I hated about BEING FAT so I don't ever return to that wasteland.

    My issue with complements is that they can lead to complacency. You ever hear about the sports prospect who read too many of his own press clippings about how great he was, before he ever proved anything...and then he never became much? That can work with weight loss and complements. I keep reminding myself that I'm on a journey to achieve great health and I don't care if someone else thinks I've gone far enough.
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
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    Someone at my office just said something to me the other day, and I nearly started crying. She said "You've lost SO MUCH WEIGHT in the last couple months!"

    It was FANTASTIC to hear, because while I know my measurements have changed, I haven't lost a pound.... and for someone to point it out meant SO MUCH to me.

    So honestly I hope this thread doesn't keep people from pointing it out, because sometimes we need someone to point it out to motivate us to keep going.

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