Losing weight and dealing with some of the compliments

People are stupid. You can't fix stupid. Whenever anyone says something stupid to you, whether they mean it as a compliment or not, just smile sunnily and say Thank You! and sail off. Confuses the heck out of them.

Living well is the best revenge.

How is complimenting someone for their sucess stupid? Maybe we should all be smarter and not acknowledge it at all, then people can start a thread whining about how nobody noticied. Oh, wait.....

To tell you the truth, I'd rather just get on with my life and not have compliments on my size. I am very overweight. It pisses me off that being overweight puts us in almost a different, lesser subclass, of people. Then I lose weight, and get more acceptable. Just take me however I am. My value is the same, fat or thin.

I am losing weight as a side effect of pursuing health. I am so glad for it, because even though I am still very fat, I am more comfortable than i was 32.5 pounds ago. I imagine I'll be even more comfortable moving about in my body when I lose another 32.5 pounds.

I want to DO more, have fun, be healthy, feel good. If someone wants to admire my outward shell, have at it, but that isn't why I'm doing this. I want to LIVE more fully, and that means regain my health and reclaim my life.

I was fat, now I am just overweight. There was a reason why I didn't like people taking my photograph and why I avoided full length mirrors, I just chose to ignore my fat. I accept the compliments for what they are, and am grateful that the same people never commented on how fat I was (well ... at least not to my face).

If the reason you were trying to lose weight in the first place was because you wanted to be "healthy" and it had nothing to do with body image, then I can see why you don't like the compliments. But if you thought you were "fat" prior to losing weight than why wouldn't other people? I would LOVE for people to tell me how great I look so I can tell them how HARD I worked to get that way! I doubt anyone thought you were a monster before, they just think you look better now...nothing wrong with that. You worked for those compliments, accept them and feel good about it!

It's something I call negative positivity. Those people are being genuine in complimenting you that you look great, because they didn't think you needed to change and now suddenly they see that you are more confident and happier in yourself and it shows in abundance - it's a shock for them just as much as it for us.

But what they don't realise is how we take the compliment, and to be honest why should they? We all do it. Somone says to me 'wow you look amazing, I can't believe how much weight you've lost' my immediate thought is - did you think I weighed the size of a small elephant? And no they didn't they are just stating a fact based on their own perception me and how Iused to look and they think they are being complmentary. And they are. It's because we have such a hang up about how we used to look that we want the 'oh you look amazing' but we hang a negative off the back of it because for years we've hidden behind layer of self doubt, loathing and fat.

When someone says to you, 'You look amazing, great, so alive' etc.... smile, say Thank you and mean it. And then hold your head up high that they've recognised your hard work.... they're not saying it to make you think what you looked like before, they're saying it because it's true. You DO look amazing.

Great words!!

I see it on both ends. I mean I didn't appreciate myself when I was 250lbs how could I have expected anyone else to appreciate me or even respect me? I didn't respect myself enough to take time for myself and better myself. I didn't love myself, I love myself now so I enjoy the compliments and hearing them makes me keep pushing.

HOWEVER, the ones I have had that I think cut the deepest was when my husband said if I would not have done something about it, he might have left me, or that he was not attracted to me. I understand he wasn't attracted to me, who could blame him? I was not attracted to me either. The silent compliments when he can't keep his hands off me, while I love it so much and embrace it and am really starting to get use to it, at the same time in the back of my mind I can't help but wonder why he didn't show me affection like this before. After all I am the same person just a smaller version and happier. He is the only one who has ever made me feel like this.

My husband has some things I'm not attracted to, but I would never tell him if he didn't get them fixed I'd leave him. I married him for better or worse. I have brought this to his attention and I have told him how I felt about it. I've expressed to him that I'd never say that to him because if he can't accept me at my worse, he don't deserve me at my best. Now that I really think about it, I think that was his way of complimenting me and not really thinking about how it'd make me feel, he thought he was being good and letting me know how proud he was/is of me. Instead I took it as if I get fat again, he is leaving me. It's sorted now, but it still is a stinger.

I totally understand where you are coming from. About 9 or so years ago after I had my daughter, I had lost like 30 pounds or so. People were treating me different and giving me all kinds of attention. But it really pissed me off because I was like how did they see me before. It was like I was invisible before when I was bigger. But now that I had lost the weight people wanted to be in my face. So I got angry. But then a friend told me that maybe I started acting different because I lost the weight which attracted people to me. I don't know.

Well, yes.
What they're really saying is..

"...wow! you were such a walrus - so ugly and totally loathsome, and now? You look almost normal".....

Just accept the kind words and be glad most people don't speak their real minds.

lol, your funny :flowerforyou:

I do get complements like that, and how I take is they are shocked and awed at my effort and perseverance. It is very difficult to stay dedicated long enough to lose as much as we have and keep it off.
As for my self, I started out with a size 24 US jean and a XXL top (extremely bottom heavy, 20" difference between my waist and my hip, 10" difference between my hip and my chest)
Now I wear a size 8 US jean and small to med top depending on the give around my bust (37" hip, 25" waist, 37" chest 36D)
I do look totally different and the effort, research, experimenting and improvising I did to get here was extensive.
I take it as a positive they are appreciating not just the results but the effort I put in to get here too :flowerforyou:

I love people pointing out how much weight I have lost! I know I wasn't a monster before, but I was fat and of course I look better not fat! Compliments like this always spur me on to work harder so I can keep getting them So take them as what they are, well meant compliments!

I'm naturally a little on the modest side when it comes to compliments of any kind. But I think if I didn't ever hear one compliment about the weight I've lost I might be a little sad. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Depends on what they say and how they say it.

When someone notices and is supportive is my favorite scenario, but I can't pick and choose what people say. Lots of weight loss shocks people and they tend to put their foot in their mouth. I think most people mean well, so I take it as such. If its mean spirited I ignore it.

Some odd comments I got (just wrote this on my wall the other day too):
"You're not so fat now" (you have to say it with an accent)
"How much do you weigh now?" I respond. "Oh. I won't ask your start weight." (I'm 5'7" and the other person is 5'1" I'm a bit smaller in measurements than they are, but weigh 20 lbs more. I don't know why that's surprising I'm 6" taller)

I work with a girl who has struggled with her weight . At 5'2 she weighed almost 300lbs . She lost weight about 2-3 years ago , about 80 lbs .

She was so much happier with herself, so much more outgoing then she was before the weight loss. She smiled more and laughed more and was more spontaneous. She walked with her head up and when she passed people in our building she would make eye contact and smile at them in a friendly way. Her whole attitude towards herself changed for the better.

She was still overweight and still losing but I remember thinking to myself (and telling her) how beautiful she was and how amazing she looked.

It had nothing to do with the weight loss. It had to do with her accepting and loving herself again. It comes from within. Its what makes a person beautiful. Just my opinion.

Women come up and say "I want to have your babies". I really don't know how to react to that. :blushing:

Living well is the best revenge.

Fantastic advice.

Women come up and say "I want to have your babies". I really don't know how to react to that. :blushing:

"Well I'm not interested in the end result, but I like to practice!"