Annoying comment I hear all the time

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jmduvall22
jmduvall22 Posts: 11 Member
in Motivation and Support
I started my weight loss journey at just shy of 300 pounds. It's taken me about two years to get where I'm at, and 9 months of that was spent pregnant.

While 114 pounds lost is impressive, I'm still not at my target weight. People are constantly asking me if I'm done and I tell them I would like to lose another 30-50 pounds. They stare at me, appalled, and tell me that losing any more wouldn't be healthy. I've literally heard this same criticism from several different people.

I know I used to be big and in comparison to how I was I must seem downright tiny (the pregnancy didn't help the illusion, I'm sure). Hearing this all the time is a real de-motivator. Has anyone else had this problem? What is a good response?
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  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Ignore them. Do your thing. They will learn to accept you at your ideal size in time. Change is weird for some people.

    If someone says that to you, say, "Well, I'm just fine, but thanks for the concern."
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I have not yet experienced it, I am working to get where you are. :smile:

    I can understand though why the people around you would think those things. If you have never been the size you are now, to them it probably is really small!

    I would just smile and say "Thank you for the veiled compliment; I'll take that into consideration".

    Actually I would be a lot b*tchier than that, but I was trying to be helpful. Congrats on your success.
  • acstansell
    acstansell Posts: 567 Member
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    I've heard this too - I started MFP at 275 pounds. Most people are shocked when I say that because I hide my weight well. My initial goal is to get to 200 and see how I feel... then maybe try for the last 25. When I've told someone I wanted to lose 100lbs, she looked at me and said I'd look sick and that when she got that small, she was only eating lettuce and crackers and still gaining weight.

    I'm going to get to 200 see how I feel, try to maintain for a few months, then if I can manage it w/out feeling horrible, try for the last 25. According to BMI, my ideal weight is 155 - even at 175 that's still 20lbs over!
  • ladykate7
    ladykate7 Posts: 206 Member
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    I started responding by telling them my BMI and a sentence or two about where I'm at within that measurement. Each person I've told that to has never given me grief about my goal since telling them. What are they going to do, argue that the BMI guides are wrong.
  • sylvuz323
    sylvuz323 Posts: 468 Member
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    I've said thanks I'm glad you think I look great, but I'm working on the areas that only I see when I'm naked. Usually they have nothing to add after I say that. I also add that I want to reach for my healthy BMI.
  • Saxmis
    Saxmis Posts: 84
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    I started responding by telling them my BMI and a sentence or two about where I'm at within that measurement. Each person I've told that to has never given me grief about my goal since telling them. What are they going to do, argue that the BMI guides are wrong.

    I tried this. I got told that the BMI guidelines were wrong. I've now run out of come backs and the inspiration to justify my weight loss. So I don't. I just tend to say it's my body and I'm healthy.
  • reneeramirez4christ
    reneeramirez4christ Posts: 112 Member
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    I think sharing with them your health goal of reaching your target BMI so you will be in a healthy range will help them understand that it's not all about being skinny, but rather about being healthy for your family and for yourself! Congrats on the hard work and dedication to get where you are and another congrats because I know with your determination you will accomplish your goal...praying for ya!
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    Ignore them. Do your thing. They will learn to accept you at your ideal size in time. Change is weird for some people.

    If someone says that to you, say, "Well, I'm just fine, but thanks for the concern."

    This. Your body, your health. :smile:
  • MizThang
    MizThang Posts: 5
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    I have realized that when people say that, it may be because they really do think you look fine the way you are. But as far as a response, especially to the ones with the "stank" face response, just tell them, for health reasons, it would best for you. Unless they are a doctor, there is nothing they can say to that. But I am with AuntSusie5, I would be much more b*tchier too to those people. LOL
  • smalyk
    smalyk Posts: 5
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    Besides the BMI statement, I've found that emphasizing what my doctor is looking for helps. For me, that was changing my lifestyle (nutrition and physical activity) and get my weight within the healthy BMI range so I could "pass" my cholesterol "test". A little humor helped too. The closer to goal, the more careful I was about who I talked to about this work, focusing just on my cheerleaders. For the rest, it was none of their business.

    BTW, all your hard work is going to pay off in benefits - health (mental and physical) for one. It is worth doing cause it feels so great to be strong and have a body that is working well. Hang in there, find your cheerleaders and keep them close. You can do it!
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
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    I'm usually a little snippy with these people. Okay to be honest I'm really snippy with these people. The way I see it they are asking you a personal question and then telling you, that you are wrong. I usually tell them as long as I'm not starving myself then mind your own damn business.
  • TinaVanHoecke
    TinaVanHoecke Posts: 56
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    Often it is a comment people make when you will end up skinnier than they are. Just get to a healthy place and don't worry about what they think.
  • serendipity22
    serendipity22 Posts: 248 Member
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    I can understand getting annoyed by that. Most people don't know how much I weigh. When they ask me how much I want to lose, I say 75 pounds. They think it is a huge amount that will make me underweight. They don't realize that 75 from 215 will make me 140 which is a normal weight. Most of my friends are about 130 - 150 pounds and they don't know how much I weigh.
  • PrincessEliNa
    PrincessEliNa Posts: 524 Member
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    I've said thanks I'm glad you think I look great, but I'm working on the areas that only I see when I'm naked. Usually they have nothing to add after I say that. I also add that I want to reach for my healthy BMI.

    Lol, I used that too!

    People are always telling me how I'm "fine" now, and "tiny" and all these other comments...(which really is funny cause I don't see myself as 'skinny' at all!) Anyway, about 3 pounds ago I posted a pic of myself on facebook, saying "14 down, 14 to go!" - Most everyone had to comment on how I'd look anorexic if I lost 14 more pounds :noway:
    It's silly of course, but It did bother me...until I finally said, 'Thanks to the people that think I'm fine how I am, but I don't need the validation, and really, nobody but me knows what I look like Nekkid, so I will decide what my ideal weight is" :bigsmile:
  • Elizabeth_M
    Elizabeth_M Posts: 562 Member
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    I've heard the exact same thing from one person in particular, who is taller than me (and smaller, though not by much) - but when I told her I wanted to lose 25 pounds, she pretty much went on and on about how good I looked (EXCUSE ME??? She's screwed in the head, obviously) and how if I lost that much I would be WAY too thin.

    She then promptly goes on to say how fat she is and how she needs to lose about 20 pounds.

    Whatever.

    Say goodbye to the saboteurs, because I think (in MY opinion) that's what they are.

    ALSO - some people have NO conception of weight. When I told a co-worker what I weighed, they nearly fell over, I guess they have a different perception of what that weight would look like.

    Ignore the naysayers and keep moving toward your own goal.

    congrats on all you've done so far! Very inspiring for me. :)
  • rebelontherun
    rebelontherun Posts: 192 Member
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    I hear that all the time. I hate it. I've never been more than 160 pounds, but I'm also barely 5 foot, so every single pound shows, and mostly on my stomach. Everyone tells me how "tiny" I am and that I don't need to/shouldn't lose any weight. I usually just try to ignore them and keep pushing on. It's my journey, not theirs.
  • skb32881
    skb32881 Posts: 105 Member
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    Yes! That annoys me too! I just tell people that at this point that's my goal but it's up for negotiation along the way. I also tell people that my goal weight is just an aiming point and really I'm interested in body composition and I'm not sure where that will take me. And like an above poster said I don't think realize how much I actually weigh. Sometimes if it's a close friend I'll take the time to tell them that my goals aren't unrealistic and I'm shooting for the top of the "healthy" range and I'm by no means trying to be a skeleton. Just today my coworker was appalled when I said I wanted to be lean with good muscle definition. She acted like I was going anorexic on her. LOL!
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    ALSO - some people have NO conception of weight. When I told a co-worker what I weighed, they nearly fell over, I guess they have a different perception of what that weight would look like.

    This is very very true especially of Americans. We are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that many of us have forgotten what a healthy weight looks like.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    My Aunt is the one I hear this from. She saw me at my cousin's baby shower and (loudly) exclaimed, "OK You need to knock it off now! Size 12, ten, 8, that was OK, but what are you now!? A ZERO? Enough already!"

    I was wearing a size ten when she said that to me. (eyeroll)

    I get that I look very different, but I am smack in the center of the "healthy" range. So when I say I want to try for ten more pounds, it isn't a sign I'm about to go all Karen Carpenter on everyone. Sheesh.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    ALSO - some people have NO conception of weight. When I told a co-worker what I weighed, they nearly fell over, I guess they have a different perception of what that weight would look like.

    This is very very true especially of Americans. We are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that many of us have forgotten what a healthy weight looks like.

    This is SO true. Also, I think the way everyone lies about their weight skews our perception of what certain weights look like as well. The woman who actually weighs 125 but tells everyone she is 105, is messing up what everyone thinks that weight looks like.

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