When your heart is breaking...
athearenee
Posts: 110
...how do you stay mentally tough?
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Replies
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You've got to tell yourself you will make it through and you'll come out the other side a much stronger person xx0
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I'm doing this for me...I'm just terrified to get sidetracked by a broken heartYou've got to tell yourself you will make it through and you'll come out the other side a much stronger person xx0 -
it is so hard when you are going through it. been there. but it takes time, that is pretty much all that helps. distance yourself if possible, keep busy, make your new health goals your number one priority, make it your hobby! you will get through this!0
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Nice question:::::::Which deserves an answer.
As I am a food addict/emotinal eater, I have struggled for so many years while destroying my health....
Now, I am in recovery, one day at a time, at peace with myself and life as it happens....since 3/22/11....That's when I joined Overeater Anonymous.
:flowerforyou:0 -
You need to allow yourself to break down a bit, before pulling yourself back up. It is bloody hard though, last time my heart was broken I struggled to eat (first time ever!), but my best friend kept an eye on me. Each day will get better, a cliche I know but true0
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I believe there is a time and tide to the sorrow, seek the wisdom, the lesson... and I pray. I also cry accepting I am human and these things are part of life... my heart expands with wonders so it must also break with sorrow...
When I have had cause to ask, ' Why Me?' I must answer 'Why Not Me?'
There are others who struggle with worse, much worse than I in my relative comfort... and I determine to make the best of the situation no matter what.
I hope your heart isn't breaking althearenee pm me if you need to...
Blessings De0 -
cry, scream, break things, yell
Rather than bottle it, let some of it go. Dont break anything you want to keep or which is expensive to replace though, and if you have close neighbours you might want to smother the yelling or screaming with a pillow.
Unburden yourself a little and things will feel easier to bear.
Also having a friend you can vent to is all kinds of awesome in these situations 0 -
Let it fuel your journey. It motivated me to want to finally do something for myself and I really enjoyed exercising and eating properly because with all the chaos around me, I had something beautiful that I was doing for me. Makes you really proud of yourself especially as you start to reach your mini goals. While your reaching your physical goals you're also reaching your emotional goals
AND Exercising gives you natural "feel good" hormones, so bring on the feel good!!:drinker:0 -
As I have gotten older (yes - this is what 55 looks like & I don't photograph particularly well) I hav found that it gets easier and easier to "compartmentalize" and recognize that there are other people in my life who really depend on me to "show up," give it all I've got, and "be there" for them. It helps me to realize that there are many kinds of Love and that even if I cannot sustain a relationship with "him," I still have a lot to give the other people in my life, the people who would never DREAM of hurting me. I am so sorry you are going through this! As you can probably tell, I am right there with you....:flowerforyou:0
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doing exactly that is what is keeping me alive at the moment...it is so hard when you are going through it. been there. but it takes time, that is pretty much all that helps. distance yourself if possible, keep busy, make your new health goals your number one priority, make it your hobby! you will get through this!0 -
De has said it beautifully - looking back on the times I felt I was being torn apart, there was always later another door opening, which led me along a different track. And, with hindsight, it was a good thing it happened. I know now I would never have been happy with X or Y - and the chance that led me to meet Michael just 44 years ago has given me great fulfilment, as well as 4 super children. God moves in mysterious ways, and while at this moment it might seem that you are abandoned, in years to come it will look different.
So grieve for what is past, value the good times you had, and, when you are ready, move forward to the different joys yet to come!0 -
Part of why I started this was to distract myself from feeling pain...Let it fuel your journey. It motivated me to want to finally do something for myself and I really enjoyed exercising and eating properly because with all the chaos around me, I had something beautiful that I was doing for me. Makes you really proud of yourself especially as you start to reach your mini goals. While your reaching your physical goals you're also reaching your emotional goals
AND Exercising gives you natural "feel good" hormones, so bring on the feel good!!:drinker:
I decided to change what I had the power to change....
So 1 month in...20 lbs lighter....heart still heavy....0 -
I really wish I had the answer for this one....how do you stay mentally tough?0 -
I started running. The more emotion I felt the faster I ran.0
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Get a punching bag or find a place that has one.. heartbreak has underlaying anger.. take it all out on the bag.. that way you get it out and get in a work out!0
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I wish I wasn't having to be
I'd forgotten how manipulative and vindictive some women can be when money is involved, well the erson involved has money and they want a cushy life and will do anything to get it. 0 -
When I broke it off with a guy I was seeing for three years (because it wasn't going anywhere, and he wasn't great for me), I let myself get over it. For so many break ups before that, I would mope around and break down everytime I heard or saw something that would remind me of a guy. But this time, it was different. By letting yourself get over him, you bounce back faster and feel so much better almost immediately. Focus on the things in your life that are good for you and make you happy. This will pass and you'll wake up one day and think, "Gee! I nearly forgot about what-his-name!"
Good luck, Lady!0 -
Well this isn't always the samething, but I suffer from SPTSD, and with that comes deep depression which can make me emotionally crushed sometimes and small things can leave me broken hearted....I force myself these days to do the opposite of how I feel whether I like it or not, for the sake of staying alive and on to it...Another thing I have learnt to do is effectively fill up my 'love' tank, probably sounds stupid I know, but it certainly helps me stay on top of things....goodluck!0
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I believe there is a time and tide to the sorrow, seek the wisdom, the lesson... and I pray. I also cry accepting I am human and these things are part of life... my heart expands with wonders so it must also break with sorrow...
When I have had cause to ask, ' Why Me?' I must answer 'Why Not Me?'
There are others who struggle with worse, much worse than I in my relative comfort... and I determine to make the best of the situation no matter what.
I hope your heart isn't breaking althearenee pm me if you need to...
Blessings De
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Love It!Get a punching bag or find a place that has one.. heartbreak has underlaying anger.. take it all out on the bag.. that way you get it out and get in a work out!
I have one in the garage....I'm gonna go hit it...I'll be back...0 -
What a gyp!!I wish I wasn't having to be I'd forgotten how manipulative and vindictive some women can be when money is involved, well the erson involved has money and they want a cushy life and will do anything to get it.
I have family that put $$ before love....awful0 -
Give yourself permission to be heart broken and acknowledge that every day life changes in little subtle ways that allow a little more sunshine to break through. Taking charge of who you are and becomming the person you want to be will allow you to really love and appreciate yourself. You are amazing, look at what you are going through and you are still strong enough to make those life changes you are, how can you not be amazing. Walk out in the air, feel it fill your lungs and look around, really look, and see all wonderful little things that reaffirm who yo are and how great you are. Use all of your senses to take in the world around you and slowly allow yourself to start feeling the little miracles, that will graudually allow the smiles in your life again.
Be safe in the knowledge we will all listen when you need.0 -
I going through this now, it has only been a short relatioship but one I've invested a lot of my emotions in after 2 years of being single. Anyway, I'm finding the following things help:
1) crying loudly
2) exercising hard
3) this website http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/
x0 -
Give yourself permission to be heart broken and acknowledge that every day life changes in little subtle ways that allow a little more sunshine to break through. Taking charge of who you are and becomming the person you want to be will allow you to really love and appreciate yourself. You are amazing, look at what you are going through and you are still strong enough to make those life changes you are, how can you not be amazing. Walk out in the air, feel it fill your lungs and look around, really look, and see all wonderful little things that reaffirm who yo are and how great you are. Use all of your senses to take in the world around you and slowly allow yourself to start feeling the little miracles, that will graudually allow the smiles in your life again.
Be safe in the knowledge we will all listen when you need. 0 -
1) just had an involuntary meltdown...feeling better alreadyI going through this now, it has only been a short relatioship but one I've invested a lot of my emotions in after 2 years of being single. Anyway, I'm finding the following things help:
1) crying loudly
2) exercising hard
3) this website http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/
x
2) more and more everyday...
3) like it...trying to apply it
Thanks Lady!:flowerforyou:0 -
it is so hard when you are going through it. been there. but it takes time, that is pretty much all that helps. distance yourself if possible, keep busy, make your new health goals your number one priority, make it your hobby! you will get through this!
YES, I agree!!! SHE NAILED IT!
I will add.. that you are NOT ALONE either!! Each of us has been in that painful place where you feel physical pain from the heartache,For me, I remember having to talk myself out of bed, taking a shower and just doing anything.. it was the worst pain. I also started working out .. Jogging was my thing at the time and that was the only time of day I felt centered. Over time, you will feel more balanced through healthy eating and exercise. ..and pray for strength too!!! When you come out of this place, you will be better and stronger than ever!!!! I know this!! Please feel free to friend me,,,I would love to help you through!!0 -
New Hobby and fully imerse would be my way. if you need a good cry though sit down and let it out.. it's good for the soul just pick yourself up after and dust yourself off. If you've got close friends make sure you talk..
Deal with the pain now to avoid more later ((hugs))
As PP said we have all been there.. It does get easier.0 -
Although it is hard, remember that NO ONE has control of your self-worth and your happiness BUT YOU. Don't let "him" have that power over you. Every day that you spend letting it drag you down instead turning it into positive for yourself--you let "him" win. Don't let "him" win, sweetie:flowerforyou: Use all those emotions that you are feeling to fuel yourself--walking, jogging, punching a bag, swimming, anything...all good for you and a good "release".
Like others have said--we have all felt it and SURVIVED it at some point in our lives...
Stay strong:flowerforyou: :drinker:0 -
I started running. The more emotion I felt the faster I ran.
That's what I do. I just run and run and run until I can't move anymore. Last time that was 4 hours later and I'd pulled about 5 muscles but I just carried on regardless. Nothing like a good run to get everything out then wash it away with a hot shower after 0 -
i didnt try to stay tough. i cried all i wanted. XD. you just have to choose to do the right thing for yourself anyway.0
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