When your heart is breaking...

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  • ummlovelovesyou
    ummlovelovesyou Posts: 1,024 Member
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    spend time with friends and family...and focus on making YOU the best that YOU can be!

    :flowerforyou:
  • lozzae85
    lozzae85 Posts: 35
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    I always try and think of the darkest point in my life and I know I got through that ok!

    Smile. Make time for friends. See the best out of a bad situation. Try and think positively and the good old one there is always someone worse off than you......

    The quote 'When it rains look for rainbows. When its dark look for stars' makes me always look at the situation differently. There are loads of nice quotes like this to motivate you and keep you going.

    When I had a bad time a friend made me a little hardback note book with loads of nice ones in :) When i read them they make me smile even when I'm sad.

    Hope these replies help you x
  • ElleOQuent
    ElleOQuent Posts: 431 Member
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    When my heart breaks, I remind myself that life is cyclical ; I will not always be in a state of agony and, conversely, I cannot expect to always be blissfully happy.

    Distractions are a great way to momentarily focus your energy elsewhere while simultaneously partaking in an activity you enjoy. The temporary mental reprieve will serve as a gentle reminder that although your heart may be struggling, there is still happiness to be found in the most unexpected of places.

    Most importantly, remember that no matter what, you deserve to allow your emotions to flow through you. Crying, screaming , yearning and dealing with raw emotions that accompany heartbreak is crucial to the healing process.

    I wish you all the best as you endeavor through the healing process. I promise that the day will come where it will no longer hurt to smile. :flowerforyou:
  • ChrisStoney
    ChrisStoney Posts: 479 Member
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    “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
    Neil Gaiman quote
  • Ginger4real
    Ginger4real Posts: 162
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    I messaged you ..I hope you will consider adding me ...I am looking at the final end to 20 years of a really messed up relationship...and now after 2 daughters and almost 9 years of marriage ...I think I have come to the threshold mentally/physically/emotionally...and consciousIy as a mother and role model...I KNOW 100% what you're going through..I am on this site to focus myself ..shred this fat suit I hide behind..and build up my self esteem so I can make better decisions in the next 30 days ...My only advice is to forget about what your heart is saying and remember what you deserve...*it's a great quote to say to yourself when you feel like giving up!
  • melrose09
    melrose09 Posts: 271
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    I started running. The more emotion I felt the faster I ran.

    I swear it cured my depression during my husband's last deployment. I went off my meds and everything. And I used to HATE running. I'm still not any good at it, but I look forward to my "therapy" :)
  • Wendi_S
    Wendi_S Posts: 489 Member
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    ...how do you stay mentally tough?

    If the Giants beat the Patriots, I will need a hug.....

    As will I!!!!
  • devildog525
    devildog525 Posts: 46
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    My favorite quote of all time "When life gives you lemons, say *kitten* the lemons and bale". Just dont care. There is no use getting upset, depressed, mad, anything. It doesnt change anything at all, just roll with it, get over it. Easy for me to say the Marine Corps did that one to me
  • suziblues2000
    suziblues2000 Posts: 515 Member
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    SO much good advice here!
    Mostly for broken hearts due to relationship break ups...but there are so many more ways to have a broken heart, believe me!

    Plus, the op didn't even say her/his heart was broken. I'm pretty sure they just asked: how to stay mentally tough. Which could mean lots of things.

    Like, how to stay motivated when you are triggered to eat bad food? I know I have to be 'mentally tough' to do that!
    Or: how to get up and exercise everyday when you just feel like spacing out in front of the TV? Another: mentally tough situation for some people.
    Or maybe: How do you stay focused to eat healthy when you are addicted to fast/junk food? You have to be 'mentally tough'!

    SO all this relationship/broken heart advice is really good, but there are other things in life that you need to be 'mentally tough' for. Right?

    ETA: OOP's ... the op DID say her heart was breaking! I'm sorry. But still, how do people stay motivated to eat healthy and exercise every day? I sometimes find it really hard to do. I read about people who can not wait to get to the gym and break a sweat, and I just want to lay on the couch and read my book! Whats wrong with me? Lazy? maybe. All I know is that I HATE to exercise! How do I get motivated so that I love to exercise like that?
  • casendcq9
    casendcq9 Posts: 6
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    Great thread, and a number of terrific answers. The bottom line is that you have to figure out what works best for you.

    I'm in the middle of learning that sometimes you never get over someone....you just learn to live without them. The way that you stay strong is by focusing all of your energy onto something, anything. For me, it has become working out. The routine (which I think is critical) gives me something to focus on. Being in the gym becomes "my time", because it's something that I'm doing for me.

    And it doesn't hurt to be pushing iron when you're screaming at the top of your lungs :)
  • wmlpd6
    wmlpd6 Posts: 135
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    It is so cliche I hate saying it, but "time heals all wounds". Cry, yell, scream, repress, throw yourself into work, exercise, hobbies, whatever it takes. But life will go on. Eventually, you'll look back and whatever caused your broken heart will just be another chapter in your life. Learn from it what you can, look back on whatever happiness the experience provided you and let go of the pain, resentment or whatever negativity is currently associated with this event. Good luck and take care

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