HELP please! I'm SO upset!

Sounds like the only thing you need to lose is your boyfriend! Don't worry about the weight. Get your ducks in a row, focus on employment, and when the time is right you can focus on losing body fat if you need to. In the meantime, you're active in fixing up your house. When you go out to eat, always bring back leftovers.

When I met my now Husband I was 17 and 125lbs. At it's peak after having our Son I was 245lbs. Currently I'm 29 and 228lbs. Not once has my Husband ever said I've gained weight, he thought I looked unattractive, or he would leave me if I didn't lose the extra pounds. Almost daily I get a big hug and get told I'm as beautiful and sexy as the day we met. You deserve someone who looks at you like that. Hopefully your boyfriend just has a horrible sense of humour, even if that's the case I'd clue him in big time it's not appreciated.

Stress is a huge cause of weight gain, money is a huge stressor. When stressed your bodies first instinct is to save up everything incase of famine, migration, or injury. I agree with the other post on here suggesting you get employed and a tenant before getting to discouraged. You say you know you haven't been doing your best, so keep tracking to see where you're slipping up but avoid the scale.

Lose the stress and I'm sure you'll lose the litlte bit of weight that has crept back.

wow..i knew there must be people who have boyfriends like I had at one time...

he was my best friend..i thought he was the best thing that ever happened to me...i was in love...and then he went and said " I don't think i would love you still if u are fat, and that physical appearance plays a huge role in relationship"...

you see, i wasn't ready to lose him so i made excuses for his insensitivity...but looking back, i just couldn't face quitting and losing a relationship thats fun...

I broke up with him few years back...i am now married and have a husband, who is amazing...i put on 10 kgs while i was with him, and it showed everywhere, and there isn't one day where he hasn't told me how beautiful he thinks i am...

Think again, what do u want in your future, someone who puts u down coz he can or someone who loves you even if u r the ugliest person in the world...

coz, life won't always be like this, trying times and eating go hand in hand...its how most people cope...

u dont wanna spend the rest of your life thinking about losing ur relationship...its not the way to live...

You have more issues than gaining weight if your boyfriend is supportive and is only with you for your looks. Ditch him and find someone who appreciates you no matter what.

Yep, the first weight you need to consider losing is the boyfriend! His attitude is a huge red flag of bigger issues down the road.

That said, I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. It's ok. 5 or 10 pounds is not the end of the world! Concentrate on takmg care of yourself and making better choices going forward and you will be fine. I hope good things are right around the corner for you!

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been super busy, And broke... I'm not working. I have a rental house, & right now the upper floor is vacant & I've been cleaning & painting it. So I've been in an empty house... & eating out.

Stepped on the scale today... & I'm up 5lbs!?!?!

I know I could've been eating better... & I haven't been working out. But it's only been like... a couple of weeks. HOW did I manage to do this?

That means, that since I've been out of work... I've actually put on 10lbs! What freaks me out the most is my BF has said "If you were fat, we wouldn't be together".... so I'm concerned I'm going to lose him on top of all of the **** I've been going through lately, & I'm pretty sure he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He laughs when I say I've gained a bit... but NOW? You can actually SEE it.

I'm going to start the 30DS today... Level 1, I've never done it before... & head back to the rental (where the chick on the main floor has now stopped paying, so I have to post eviction papers for HER today).

What do I do about all this stress & weight gain? HELP!

Just go back to what worked before.
Eat right, exercise.
When we do that, all is well, but if we do not, as you know, progress stalls.
Success is a choice, and reaching goals does not just happen by accident.

You body does not care about why you ate poorly and did not exercise.
No excuses.
Just do it.

.I only weigh myself every 2 weeks because I don't want to be too focused on that. Next, it sounds like your boyfriend is more interested in your looks, etc. than YOU as a PERSON. I could be wrong, but that is how it sounds. You need to make sure you are surrounding yourself with family, friends, significant others, etc that are supportive of you on this journey. Best of luck to you dear

When I met my now Husband I was 17 and 125lbs. At it's peak after having our Son I was 245lbs. Currently I'm 29 and 228lbs. Not once has my Husband ever said I've gained weight, he thought I looked unattractive, or he would leave me if I didn't lose the extra pounds. Almost daily I get a big hug and get told I'm as beautiful and sexy as the day we met. You deserve someone who looks at you like that. Hopefully your boyfriend just has a horrible sense of humour, even if that's the case I'd clue him in big time it's not appreciated.

Stress is a huge cause of weight gain, money is a huge stressor. When stressed your bodies first instinct is to save up everything incase of famine, migration, or injury. I agree with the other post on here suggesting you get employed and a tenant before getting to discouraged. You say you know you haven't been doing your best, so keep tracking to see where you're slipping up but avoid the scale.

Lose the stress and I'm sure you'll lose the litlte bit of weight that has crept back.

Amen to that. I have had three kids but I can't even blame my weight gain completely on that. Even though I knew I was overweight and needed to do better my husband has always told me that I am beautiful. That being said, without actually knowing your bf I know from experience that men say things that they think are encouraging that come out not so much.

As everyone is saying - it might be too hard for you now, or so your think, but if you think about it your boyfriend is adding stress and pressure to you - instead of being comforting and supportive like he should if he loves you.
Your body is your life and you will get fit and healthy if it's right for you. Never do t for anyone else.
He sounds like a shallow a@ for saying that to you. Looks really aren't everything and to threaten you with that (and yes, it is a threat) is disgusting of him.

In my opinion you should get rid of him and focus on healing yourself and your life.

You only get one life and you should share it with those who love you and make you feel incredible to be you for who you are. They will support you when you are down and praise you when you are up. NOT threaten to leave you if things get tough.

Take control and make the changes you want to happen and it'l all work out for the best.

It will have a happy ending ... if it's not happy, it's not the ending so keep working through

the first thing you need to lose is the loser bf. You'll lost quite a bit of "dead weight" when you do that. Then, like others have said- stop making excuses for not being able to workout and eat right. Just do it. Life happens... it's what we do with it that makes the difference.

Hang in there. You can do this!!

Seriously- Don't stress out about your weight because all you need to do is take control and it'll drop off.


Everyone is implying your BF is a tool but only you can decide if that's true.

On this forum, without him backing it up, we have no context of how his remark was actually said. Maybe he meant it more of a "if you were larger we wouldn't have got together" and lets be truthful in 90% of cases when we fall forsomeone the first thing we see is how attractive they are for us. For some of those people weight plays a part in that.

Heck- if it didn't play a factor in it I certainly wouldn't be trying to maintain my weight.

To me it doesn't sound like he meant it as "if you got larger we wouldn't be together." But then again, only you can decide what you think of him,. I wish you the best of luck with getting everything back on track. :flowerforyou:

Yikes...everyone...have you ever met a man before? Guys say stupid stuff like that in an attempt to make us feel better about ourselves. More than likely he thinks she looks great and truly doesn't notice the 10 pounds. Even some of the MOST shallow guys wouldn't break up with someone over a few pounds. He was probably just kidding around! To the OP, just get back at your routine. LIfe happens. Learn to roll with the punches. Maybe your BF is a jerk, maybe not, but this isn't about him and his opinion of you, it's about you getting a handle on your health while you're still young and able.

I think everyone is in agreement that if your BF breaks up with you because you've gained weight, he is a total A**HOLE.

As far as the stress and eating out and those angry scale numbers, don't beat yourself up over it. I lost about 12 lbs right before the holidays, and I gained back about 10 lbs during Christmas and New Year's (which is also my birthday), and I was really mad at myself for a couple of days, but then I realized that sometimes that happens. You just set a new goal and start again.

I'm a very high-strung person, so the best way for me to de-stress is exercise (even when I don't want to...especially when I don't want to), because the workout endorphins give me a positive boost and help clear my head a bit.

Eating out gets tricky for me, because I will either eat everything on my plate or take home leftovers and eat them immediately. One thing I do is try to order the dish with the most vegetables and then eat the vegetables first. By the time I get to the rest, I'm probably not as hungry and am more likely to only eat half of that philly steak sandwich. I have a friend who eats all of the time and never gains weight (the world is so unfair), so I always send my leftovers home with him. That way I don't feel like I'm wasting food, and it prevents me from midnight snacking on leftovers.

Another thing to think about with the scale numbers is that if you've been eating out a lot, you've probably been getting huge amounts of sodium, so part of that number is probably water weight.

My best advice is to stop beating yourself up about it. We all have those days and weeks (sometimes months or years) where we take some steps back, but you can always start again. Set your goals, make your plans, and start looking forward instead of back. Also, find a decent BF. They're out there...I've heard ;-)

I'm sorry...I know you don't wan to hear this...but for the weight gain...life happens...things get in the way sometimes. Just get back on track from now. AND for the boyfriend...you need to set your sights higher...much higher. I was married to someone like him for 7 years. I wasn't overweight but he constantly told me I was and that he wanted me to stay at just the weight I was when we married (I was 17 and weighed 105...looked like a beanpole). We got divorced because even though I wasn't overweight (I did put on weight but was still 135 which is totally not overweight) he cheated every chance he got. Anyway, I met/married a great guy that has loved me for the past 33 years no matter my weight and the cheater has had 33 years of never quite finding the "perfect" woman...imagine that. Bottom line it's one thing to tell you he wants you to stay a certain weight because he loves you and wants you healthy...quite something else to tell you he won't stay with you if you are fat. RUN!

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been super busy, And broke... I'm not working. I have a rental house, & right now the upper floor is vacant & I've been cleaning & painting it. So I've been in an empty house... & eating out.

Stepped on the scale today... & I'm up 5lbs!?!?!

I know I could've been eating better... & I haven't been working out. But it's only been like... a couple of weeks. HOW did I manage to do this?

That means, that since I've been out of work... I've actually put on 10lbs! What freaks me out the most is my BF has said "If you were fat, we wouldn't be together".... so I'm concerned I'm going to lose him on top of all of the **** I've been going through lately, & I'm pretty sure he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He laughs when I say I've gained a bit... but NOW? You can actually SEE it.

I'm going to start the 30DS today... Level 1, I've never done it before... & head back to the rental (where the chick on the main floor has now stopped paying, so I have to post eviction papers for HER today).

What do I do about all this stress & weight gain? HELP!

Immediately ditch any guy that would leave you because you gain weight. He is NOT the best thing that has ever happened to you. Your weight is only one small part of the great person I am sure you are. Good luck. I wish you all the best.