probs w/ hubby. idk who to turn to need others opinion.

You are losing weight and becoming healthy. So I'd bet that you look much better now in a wife beater than you did before. Keep in mind, that even though people may INITIALLY support you in your efforts to live a better life, that encouragement can quickly turn into jealousy when you're actually successful at it. Because you two are married, I suggest you two communicate with each other and really get to the root of the problem and reach some sort of a compromise. If that doesn't work, than it may be time to let go and move on.

That would be a problem to me babe! It's not as if you are of a religion that requires you to keep your skin covered. Does that mean that in the summertime you won't be 'allowed' to wear a string top, because you might look like a slut? No. I think you need to really knock this on the head sooner rather than later. Tell your husband you won't tolerate being called a slut, or being told you look like one. As far as finances, I hate to fight about money, it makes me sad I know how hard it can be to have money worries, I live in a country that's mid recession, my mortgage won't stop going up and I've taken 2 paycuts, taken on an extra job in the office when they let the other accounts girl go, so am now literally doing double the work for less pay than I was on doing one role. My fiance was made redundant from his job, got another one for less pay and travel expenses of nearly 200 a month. BUT despite all that, we are getting by because we have made out a budget, and stuck to it. Maybe you have already, but look online for tips on cutting back spending, use coupons and sell old stuff, old jewellery in cash-for-gold shops, old clothes/handbags on ebay, that kind of stuff

I hope things get better for you, keep your chin up

xxx

Your appropriateness of attire aside (or lack thereof) I think the real question is how appropriate is your husband. the answer not very. If your husband was really uncomfortable about what you are wearing - he could have said- Honey, I see that you were hot/unconfortable/etc in your uniform shirt- I will run home and pick you up a t-shirt (or whatever) to wear

did he do that? no- he called you a slut-

I presume that when you married eachother, you did so because you believed that you wanted to be together "forever"- I would therefore suggest marriage counseling for the two of you (and some anger management/ behavioral therapy for him) if he is unwilling to go to marriage counseling then you will need to think about what is right for you adn quite probably getting out of the relationship.

Regarding financial fighting- number one cause of fights in a marriage-perhaps create a budget tofether, keep track of every penny you spend (pay only cash, visit the bank machine once a week- that's it) - we had to do this before, it was tough but it kept un on budget

Sounds like he has some trust issues. Maybe you guys need to sit down and talk and try to find out why he's feeling like he can't trust you.

Sounds like a lot of us have been in your shoes. My ex-husband was similar. He didn't call me names but was highly concerned about what I wore to work (I was never inappropriate) or how many phone numbers I collected (I was a hair stylist on a college campus and I never took numbers). The reality is my ex and your current husband have a huge problem of being very insecure and very controlling. It sounds like you already knew he wasn't really coming to see if you wanted something to eat, since you put it in quotes. He was most likely checking up on you making sure you were where you said you'd be. Really look at this situation, I suspect that there are more factors here than you have paid attention to at this point. This type of person does not wake up and suddenly see the error of their ways. They get worse. You're a young woman with a hopefully long lifetime of potential happiness. Don't let fear of the unknown keep you in a bad relationship. Good luck to you and stay safe.

Honestly, the best thing you can do in regards to your relationship is to put a counselor between the two of you and talk it out. Put an unbiased, third party there to help discuss these issues and diffuse the situation. Have your husband tell another person that he thinks you're a slut and watch how he realizes how completely foolish he is. Better yet, tell him that you'd rather move on that to live with that. He'll change his tune.

I've been through some ups and downs and I can say for certain, the best thing you can do is to put this stuff out on the table. Don't stew, don't let it fester, don't wait until it's unbearable. This is a guy you loved dearly once, so much so that you pledged your entire life to him. Likewise, he chose the same when he offered you that ring. Ask yourself if that's something you are ready to give up.

Nobody is perfect, we all have our weak moments. I'm not excusing your husband's poor behavior but life throws us all curveballs. There's a reason for his insecurity. He needs to attack that, not you. Help him see that.

WELL PUT

I think it's time to say goodbye to an abusive relationship.

{waves bye bye}

Life's too short.

Has this behaviour increased as you have lost weight? Is he insecure now that he perceives you as more attractive to other men?

Who can say for sure, but if he is calling you a slut and being accusatory, then he is probaly the one that is cheating. Karma is a mother-bleeper thou. Good thoughts coming your way....take care.

Having just left a 20 year marriage with a controlling *kitten*, I recommend you get the unfortunately titled book "Ditch That Jerk." It illuminated for me all of the emotional and verbal abuse that I had endured. The physical abuse was easier to know it was wrong...but the other stuff is also wrong. Learning that I wasn't crazy to think how he was treating me was wrong really helped me make the best decision for myself and my kids.

Run.