Would I be Rude?

berkra · February 2012

One way of addressing the overeating of the "good stuff" is to eat before you get to a nice get together. That will allow you much easier to control what you have on your plate and and how much enters your body.
I would not take "my food" to a provided dinner as it would send the wrong message.
You have them over next time to your place and make other options available and they might see benefit in it as well

Just that you think about it shows that you are changing your way, and as many others said before that is what we are doing.

We are not on a diet.

walkwithme1 · February 2012

I disagree with most everyone on here. I think you should eat, go to your class then go for a visit. Be a good example thy you aren't giving up or giving in. Especially if you think it is going to derail you. Your family should understand your commitment to yourself and be supportive. I've had to turn down many dinners because of the type of food or plans to go to the gym. and my family understands and see that I am 100% in.

yesthistime · February 2012

Saying eating in moderation is a joke , a lot of people just can't eat greasy, cheesy, fried, sugary foods in moderation, it doesn't work for everyone and for every food

Yes! Why would so many of us be overweight if it were as easy as "everything in moderation"? We are all adults and we understand that we are overeating and/or eating unhealthy foods but we DO NOT STOP until we got to our individual "tipping points." I do not believe that it is a lack of knowledge that makes us fat, and therefore reciting an oversimplified mantra about portion control can't possibly be the universal "key" to weight loss.

tapiagonzalez · February 2012

My sister text me today to ask if I wanted to come to dinner with her family tonight. She said they were having "soul food" but I should be able to find something I could eat. Said she planned to eat about 5-5:30.

I called to discuss this with her and she expanded on the soul food definition - it includes fried chicken, greens, homemade macaroni and cheese, homemade baked beans (which has hamburger meat and barbecue sauce added), and a homemade peach cobbler. WTH??? What do you see in that menu that I would ever be able to eat?

The other problem is that I usually go to the body toning class at 5 on Thursday. There is a 6 oclock class that I could make if I eat and run.

So, do I just absolutely decline the invite or do I take my own supper that I was planning to eat anyway and eat and enjoy the company and just leave in time to go to the gym?

I'm of the opinion that sometimes life take precedence over the gym and dietary goals. Go, enjoy the food and company. Get to the gym tomorrow. Being healthy is great. But what is the point of being healthy if you have to forego all of life's pleasures for the rest of your life?

Moderation is key.

I so agree......moderations is the KEY!!!

BHKLEIN · February 2012

Totally take your own supper!!!! It's not being rude when you are on a diet and sticking to it. Or even better: you could bring a dish or two to pass that you actually can eat and stick with that. Family should be all for you losing weight and if they're not, too bad cause you'll be rocking new jeans before you know it by not eatting their food. But do go, since it is family just leave early to go to the gym!

melrose09 · February 2012

Eat the greens, and the chicken with the skin peeled off. Even if the greens were cooked with fat, not enough is going to stay on them to cause a major calorie hit. And greens are extremely nutritious.

And it's perfectly fine to take small samples of the rest. Just don't go overboard.

is that true for stirfrying veggies in oil?

I wouldn't worry too much about this one meal. Peeling the skin off the chicken is an excellent idea and just skip the mac. I also like the suggestion of eating before you go, so you can just have a litte bit whie you're there. I would try to avoid rippling any waters with your family, though. Stress is not conducive to weight loss

dirtbikegirl5 · February 2012

My mother-in-law cooks and we all eat together sometimes. It is stuff that I would not normally have, but I love her so I eat it so that we can spend time together. I want to spend time with my family as much as I can. Enjoy your family. The gym will be there to help you work off that fried chicken.

Cross_fitter · February 2012

i agree with everybody...but what do you really want to do??? Why don't you ask your sister if she would mind if you take your own food and enjoy the company. I've done that at a friends place and, being the friend that she is, she didn't mind at all and neither did anyone else. That way i would also enjoy 1/2 glass wine knowing that everything else i was eating was in my plan. You don't need to feel guilty for doing that and if you go along with an open mind and walk in with confidence ...then why not??? You've really got to do what you want to do!!!

therealangd · February 2012

I would probably decline.

That kind of food makes me physically sick. It did even when I was fat.

Lynda4aska · February 2012

just go and enjoy yourself, if you rarely see her. If this is a frequent invite, just take a rain check. Neither way should cause stress.

splashangel · February 2012

Well, first of all....
She called you on the same day as the supper. The menu already planned. She was aware I,m sure, that you could of had plans. Kinda sounds like you were an after thought. I do that. Plan a big meal then think about someone I care about and give them a call to come over. I understand they might be busy.I bet your sister would of. But now that you have discussed it, well, it kinda would look bad to skip and go to class instead. Kinda like, uhhh, heard what you have to say but your not cooking healthy enough for me so I'd rather go sweat it out at the gym. Do they know how hard you are trying?Go to your sis's house. Take a salad. Drink some water. If these foods are not trigger foods then eat small portions. Be sure and dominate the conversation with healthy talk. : 0 ) What you have learned. How hard you are working. Why change is so important to you.But at the same time you can stress how if you had to cheat you couldn't think of a better way then with fried chicken and time with your sister. This way, you include her in your journey and next time, she knows what's up. No sisters here. But me and my brother are real close. He knows how much my weight bothered me. He is one of my biggest supporters. I share new healthy recipes that I try with him and he saves me chilie when he cooks it, for my cheat day. I see him every evening and because he is single raising his kid's, he cooks. I often say no, I cann't this time. He understands and knows on the day I can that I will. Maybe, you could cook for them soon. I sure hope this all works out for you. Let us know if you would, how it goes.

amdahwd · February 2012

I never posted my decision about what I was going to do.

I went to my sister's house an hour early, talked to her while she cooked, sat at the table with the family while they ate, and never ate a bite. I then left and went to my workout class and came home after that and had the meal I had originally planned to have, and I felt great when I went to bed with no stress and no acid reflux from all that fat!

My sister's response when I asked her what she thought about the responses I got on the board? "I don't care either way - leaves more for me to eat". However, when I came out of my exercise class, she was walking in the gym because my father had commented on her weight while she was cooking.

splashangel · February 2012

I'm glad it worked out for you. I was raised in S. Georgia and am a soul food cook. A good one. Pig tail and turnips all day long! You think your sister might would give this site a try?

Thriceshy · February 2012

I had fried chix, mashed taters and mac and cheese for lunch yesterday. I burned it. AGAIN - NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS! geesh.

The idea of "everything in moderation" doesn't work for everyone (some people are addicted to food and avoiding triggers is easier than trying to have them in moderation). That being said, you can try to eat a small portion of what is being served, or bring a healthy dish to add to the dinner and fill up on that, or even bring your own dinner as you suggested. Whatever allows you to have an enjoyable experience with your family without unnecessary pressure now or guilt later.

Best wishes

Bring your own, and let them know that this is important enough to you that they could show their support by adding a thing or two to the menu that's to your liking. I have a mother who is the mistress of diet sabotage--not sure if that's the case with you, but if so, even more reason to bring your own food and make it clear that you're not going to be derailed.

Good luck!

Pebble321 · February 2012

Why not bring along something to share with everyone, that way you can have some of her food and some of yours?

And I say, skip the gym for today, enjoy the family occasion and make sure you get in some exercise tomorrow.

bcc112986 · February 2012

If you are having any anxiety about straying from your diet, don't do it. Say no. You should be more important to you when it comes to eating and working out. Yes, you can burn off the calories, but why should you have to do something for yourself because of someone else's desire. Whatever decision you make, have peace with it and in it.

Would I be Rude?

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