Brutal Honesty - What was the final straw?

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  • sweetcherubim
    sweetcherubim Posts: 1
    I've gained around 25lbs since having hip surgery X-mas of 2009. I was never "willowy" before, but at least I was always active with jogging, walking, and working out. I realized a couple of months ago that over the past couple of years I have become completely sedentary for the first time in my life because of sciatica associated with the surgery. And because of my sedentary life, I felt not well. I don't feel sick, just not well. Not "alive".

    Since Nov I started trying to work light exercise into my routine, like walked every day or using my magnetic bike trainer. I wasn't trying to diet. The final straw for me came in Jan when I went to Mexico, and the seat felt way too narrow and I felt like I was pouring over the armrests onto the poor person sitting beside me. I did not feel comfortable, and I felt embarrassed that I've become someone who can't even fit properly into a regular seat (at least I was able to get the belt buckled, so there is that to be thankful for). After I got back from Mexico I started to diet by cutting back on the amount of food that I eat and exercising even more. It has only been three weeks so far, and some days are tough, but I want to stick with it. Hopefully I'll be able to shed those 25 lbs, messed up hip or not.

    I discovered MFP a little over a week ago, and I really like it. I wish I had friends who were sharing this weight loss journey though... all my friends are either fit and/or thin already, or are overweight and don't want to diet.
  • emily356
    emily356 Posts: 318 Member
    I always gain a lot when pregnant. After my first two, I also lost a lot before my two week post partum(sp?) check-up. Well, after my 3rd and last baby a little over a year ago, I went in for my two week pp check-up. Only a couple of pounds lighter than before I had him. I was 202 pounds. Jaw dropping reality. I was about 125 when I got married, was in good shape and exercised regularly. Ugh. I was devastated to be fat. As soon as I got my breastfeeding good and established, I started just by journaling my foods. Then Weight Watchers for nursing moms. Lost back down to about 160, got lazy and stayed at about 160-165 through the fall and Christmas. Enough was enough. We are done with kids and there is no reason for me not to get back down to my ideal weight!!! I am so ready to lose this last 25 pounds!!!
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    For me and I haven't even really fully started my journey yet. I am still in the gathering stages, and will begin shortly. However I am 6'1'', 235lbs (230-240 is my range). I wear a size 40 waist 32 length. When my pants start to feel tight I know I need to eat healthier. I really dont want to be a muscle head, or a 6 pack joe, I just want to lose some weight and be comfortable in a size 38 waist. I have an office job, and wear slacks, and oxford shirt daily. It would be nice if I was a little thinner because perception is reality for some people. This is no where near some of the other touching stories, but it is my story.

    I need help, I need information, I need accountability, I need to know what step one is besides knowing, wanting to lose weight. I would appreciate if there are any guys in their 30's-40's to contact me and give me some pointers. Thanks
  • Em05us
    Em05us Posts: 117 Member
    I weighed the same weight for all my life( which was not healthy by any means) After my First Pregnancy i gained about 40 lbs back after having her(in about 3 years) Then after my second pregnancy i gained about 50 more lbs after i had her. I became a stay at home mom after my second child and that is why i put on more faster. When i went to the dr for a check up of some sort i saw the scale and almost had a heart attack. It was then that i decided. I want to be healthy for my kids and show them a healthy lifestyle. I am 100% committed to this and what is the most amazing is my husband has decided to do this with me. He has been told by the doctor several times about his high cholesterol and that has scared me so much. His family has a really terrible health history. we both have a long way to go but he has lost 25 lbs and i have lost 20lbs. we have made huge strides in our lifestyle and i cant wait to see all this weight gone!!!!
  • Tubby2Toned
    Tubby2Toned Posts: 130 Member
    I know exactly what you mean. I mean you have to feel good in order to portray that confidence to others. I am married and just felt disgusting and I felt like my husband would see me as that and evertually would find someone who did take care of themselves. I am only gonna turn 28 so these thoughts should not have even had to be crossing my mind but yup....so no not shallow at all, you are doing this for your self esteem!

    Thanks raqufern!
  • viclee1
    viclee1 Posts: 156 Member
    very simple for me, when my non- pregnant weight reached higher than my full term with baby #1! that was it!
  • 0AmyMarie0
    0AmyMarie0 Posts: 315
    I stepped on the scale and weighed about 20 lbs more than I thought, waking up the denial. I stepped on the scale 6 times and then tried another one. Entering my weight and height and realizing that I was "overweight" for the first time in my life. Being broke and realizing I couldn't afford to buy another size up in clothes, as I had already gone from a size 2 to a size 12 in just 18 months.

    My big motivation though, knowing it wasn't *me* Getting diagnosed with Hashimoto's and being put on meds that are helping to renew my energy has helped A LOT. Without that, I think I would have just continued to be swallowed up in exhaustion and depression. Going to my dr about my exhaustion and weight concerns was the best thing I could have done for myself.
  • 0AmyMarie0
    0AmyMarie0 Posts: 315
    very simple for me, when my non- pregnant weight reached higher than my full term with baby #1! that was it!

    That too!! Suddenly I was 7 lbs heavier than I was the day before I gave birth to my second daughter!
  • Jgomez323
    Jgomez323 Posts: 9
    After high school I was around 270lbs for a few years. I stepped on the scale about 5yrs ago and I was at 297lbs and that was the final straw for me. I felt so disgusted with myself so I decided to change and im still on that journey.
  • aylabean5
    aylabean5 Posts: 1
    For me it was not so much the weight but for health. I have been on the small side for a while now but I was extremely unhealthy, I would find myself getting lazy, and eating crappy food and giving myself the excuse that I was too busy between work and school to be healthy. I would find myself binging then immediately regretting it and feeling guilty to the point that I hated myself, I decided I need to do this the healthy way I am going to eat right, and work out! I can not let myself become unhappy for something that I have complete control over!
  • chaoticxinsane
    chaoticxinsane Posts: 54
    When I realized that my figure only actually looked the way I THOUGHT it did when I was wearing my corset. And when discussing my friend's AMAZING weight loss turn around, I got curious and looked up the average height/weight for someone my size.

    I do not feel 30-40 pounds overweight. I do not think I look 30-40 pounds overweight. I want to actually BE as healthy as I THOUGHT I was. 2012 was already shaping up to be my 'actually take pride and put effort in myself because I am WORTH IT' year as it was. I started making an effort to dress nicer, look classy and presentable with my makeup and hair done instead of being your stereotypical gamer kid. About time I finally started paying attention to my health, too.
  • katzmeow_83
    katzmeow_83 Posts: 27 Member
    i got a dui and was sentenced to 5 months in tent city ( i live in phx ) it was alll summer it was hot and horrible... but i made friends with 2 thin girls and wanted what they had.... nice bodies :)
  • feduh86
    feduh86 Posts: 790 Member
    I met my friend Holly who is obsessed with nutrition (which is awesome) and she got me so excited about it and wanting to lose weight,

    ALSO, I wanna look good for when I go to Lebanon this summer cuz i havent been there in years to visit family ... Last time I was there, I was younger (bout 13 years old) and I got told like 50 times by my relatives "I see you have gained some weight" ..... thanks guys like I didnt already know, but please keep saying it over and over again...
    Anyway, this time, im gonna go there and be like BAM! What now??? hahaha =)
  • sheila569
    sheila569 Posts: 269 Member
    When I'm stressed, I eat.... or rather I never stop eatting. Over the past year, being a single mother to a 13 year old girl has become more stressful than I could have ever imagined... and my weight crept up more than I could have imagined too.

    Something snapped right before the new year. "If I don't do something about my weight, with the amount of stress I'm enduring, someone else is going to be raising my daughter because I won't be alive to". January 2nd I started working out every morning at the gym before work, weekends as soon as they open. Today, 18 pounds down. Managing my stress level better. And for the very 1st time in my life, I look forward to the gym. I'm putting myself first, and it feels great.
  • ts1122
    ts1122 Posts: 99 Member
    Brutal honesty?

    A romance could have occurred and I didn't pursue it because I was embarrassed by my body.

    HOW LAME IS THAT!??

    I got divorced almost two years ago. I'm 46 now. Lost everything. Started smoking, drinking heavy, got fat, and honestly felt like crap all the time. I was totally convinced that my life was over, I'd never meet anyone ever again, etc, etc.
    I was in a dark pit of self-pity and self loathing. I felt completely unattractive.

    Then someone popped into my life out of left field. I was really attracted to her, but I felt like my belly was disgusting, that my double chin was unattractive...you get the idea. My own body was making me insecure.

    My post may sound shallow to some, but it's what happened.
    I want to look good. I want my self-confidence back.

    The first time I lost a bunch of weight (3 years ago), my husband walked out on me and my then 4 month old son. He left me for a tall, skinny blonde with no bags under her eyes. I wanted to be found attractive by someone... so your reason for losing weight is not shallow. It's honest and I'm sure it's happened to all of us that are here at one point or another. Keep up the good work!
  • ts1122
    ts1122 Posts: 99 Member
    I cannot even hear my husband call me beautiful without wanting to cry, I am so embarrassed.

    I completely agree! He still tells me I'm beautiful every day, but I don't believe him most days. I used to be embarrassed when I would try on clothes and ask if he liked it and he would be honest with me - but I realized this is why I love him, he wants to help me feel as beautiful as he thinks I am. I am no longer embarrassed to work out in front of him, run with him, dance with him... he knows I don't feel beautiful and he wants that for me so he helps push me when I don't think I can keep going. He has been my main motivator and biggest supporter.
  • tbovay
    tbovay Posts: 2 Member
    One day during work a group of coworkers had gathered around a hallway and was chatting. The group consisted of 2 women and 4 men all of which was much higher on the pecking order than I was at the time. Since they had the hallway blocked the only way to get through them was to pass through the middle. I excused myself and started to walk past. As I did so one of the women patted my belly and said "hey tubby!". I don't think I have ever been more embarrassed in all my life as that moment! As soon as I got back to my desk I started my research on losing weight and began exercising and eating right that same evening!!!!

    About a year later I had lost 49lbs and was in the best shape I had ever been in. Recently I was in a meeting with a group of people including the lady who had patted my belly. The topic had come up about my weight loss and someone asked the very same question this post is titled. It might not have been the most polite thing to do with that person in the room but I was brutally honest I told them exactly what motivated me. The women's mouth dropped to the floor, she gasped, and began to apologized profusely. I accepted her apology and also thanked her for motivating me to do something.
  • WolffRN
    WolffRN Posts: 48
    We had cared for my wife and my parents from 1995 to 2000 (ran 3 house and both worked full time jobs) And in the course of a year and a half starting in june of 2000, we lost all of them (my folks died 6 months to the day apart) I shut down lost my faith and turned to food for comfort. I few months later I blew out my knee at work and spent several months trying to get back to work (drove truck/delivered beer for budweiser) but never could and had to give up my job.... after that I shut down. Spent the next several years eating myself to death. By may of 2009 I was all but homebound at 560 lbs. had not left the house in over 2 years and could barely walk from my recliner to the bathroom. My family was there but moving on without me (they had pretty much given up on me and was just waiting for me to die) and that was when I felt totally and utterly alone. The walls felt like they was closing in on me and I spent 3 days in my recliner literally deciding my fate. (yes that means exactly that, hand gun in hand) At the end of the third day my wife came home from work and I said the two words she had wait the better half of a decade to hear... "Help Me" so she took the next couple days off and we started the process of doctor visit, therapist, etc.... Even though I didn't have a clue of how I was going to do this (staring at having to lose 300+ lbs., I had given into the process and stop resisting and saying no to everything and started saying Yes!! It is never to late to change your path no matter how bleak you may think things are, there is always a way out. You just have to want it and then go for it!!
  • WolffRN
    WolffRN Posts: 48
    We had cared for my wife and my parents from 1995 to 2000 (ran 3 house and both worked full time jobs) And in the course of a year and a half starting in june of 2000, we lost all of them (my folks died 6 months to the day apart) I shut down lost my faith and turned to food for comfort. I few months later I blew out my knee at work and spent several months trying to get back to work (drove truck/delivered beer for budweiser) but never could and had to give up my job.... after that I shut down. Spent the next several years eating myself to death. By may of 2009 I was all but homebound at 560 lbs. had not left the house in over 2 years and could barely walk from my recliner to the bathroom. My family was there but moving on without me (they had pretty much given up on me and was just waiting for me to die) and that was when I felt totally and utterly alone. The walls felt like they was closing in on me and I spent 3 days in my recliner literally deciding my fate. (yes that means exactly that, hand gun in hand) At the end of the third day my wife came home from work and I said the two words she had wait the better half of a decade to hear... "Help Me" so she took the next couple days off and we started the process of doctor visit, therapist, etc.... Even though I didn't have a clue of how I was going to do this (staring at having to lose 300+ lbs., I had given into the process and stop resisting and saying no to everything and started saying Yes!! It is never to late to change your path no matter how bleak you may think things are, there is always a way out. You just have to want it and then go for it!!

    Your story amazes me! Congratulations on your journey! I am so happy your life has turned around from such a dark place. Good luck my friend!
  • WolffRN
    WolffRN Posts: 48
    Barely wanting to leave the house.
    Catching sight of my reflection.
    Never allowing anyone to include me in a photo - if I die my children will have next to no pictures of me.
    Finding it impossible to feel like I look ok, and never having anything to wear.
    Turning down invitations to things I'd enjoy, just because I don't want to have to get dressed up.
    Hating myself and turning in to someone I'm not - a reclusive, anti-social, loser.
    Zero confidence. Zilch. Nada. Nought.

    I could go on & on. They're no different to all the other times I've dieted of course, but this time I hope to nail it - even if it means logging my calories on MFP for the rest of my life, lol.

    It's as if you wrote this for me.
    Mine:
    Avoiding all social invitations with new or old friends.
    Not going to any of my husbands work parties, faking an illness, etc, because I dont want him to be the one with "the fat wife".
    Not doing things with my teenage boys that I did just a couple years ago...

    NO MORE!! I want to do more than live life, I want to take in every moment and ENJOY it!
  • silkii_locks
    silkii_locks Posts: 28
    When intimacy became all but impossible.....sorry if that's TMI guys!
  • Blossom41290
    Blossom41290 Posts: 27 Member
    When i went to one of my fave stores and realized i could no longer fit any of the clothing size ranges there
    When i could not buy jeans from any normal stores only "plus" size stores
    When i saw myself in a photo.
  • stuey39
    stuey39 Posts: 159
    Honestly? My 14yr old daughter asking my wife if she was a feeder!
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
    I met a guy who I thought was in his 50s. He was buying Banquet microwave meals at Giant food. I had a stack of Healthy Choice (not so healthy BTW). We were talking and I came to find out that he was 2 years younger than me. He looked like he was 16 months pregnant! Thats when I decided it was time to shed some weight.
    At the time I was about 170lbs in a size 36 pants.
    I started MFP at 160lbs.
    I'm 138lbs now and in better shape than when I was 18 and I'm wearing size 30 pants!
  • tbresina
    tbresina Posts: 558 Member
    Seeing myself in photos is what really did it. I turned 40 and all of a sudden I gained like 15 lbs overnight. I hated the pudge and I have so many adorable clothes (im a shopper!) that just looked horrible on me. All 3 of my boys are grown and on their own and I just decided now is my time, no more excuses. I was at 172, im 5ft 6 and now I am at 150......with a goal of 140-145, we will see how I look and feel when I get there. I feel better in my 40's than I did in my 30's that is for sure!
  • andreacord
    andreacord Posts: 928
    Seeing some photos of me and negative comments from family was enough to get me going, along with prom as motivation last year.

    I fell off track because of an injury and then a car accident and then some family and personal havoc. When my best guy friend told me, "You're really pretty and all but I can't date you, you're just still too big.. that would look bad since I'm so active." That was enough to kick start my motivation again after we stopped being friends, still proves to be pretty good fuel a month later and probably still will be.
  • kunibob
    kunibob Posts: 608 Member
    I had already decided to eat better and start exercising, and the first couple days at the gym at work, I read the scale incorrectly. I thought I had only gained a few pounds from my normal weight, and I was like, "sweet, I'll drop those and then another 10 and life will be good." I had always seen myself as an athlete, as someone in control of her body, so I was a bit annoyed to be a tiny bit plumper than I would like, but it was doable.

    I still remember the day I realized I was reading the scale incorrectly. I was 40 lb overweight instead of 10 lb; this wasn't just a tiny little slip-up I could fix in a couple months, and my self-image of being in touch with my body was off-base. I actually went into shock a little bit -- everything went hazy and I stared stupidly at the number and checked it again and again, and then just sat down and started shivering. :frown: When I finally got a grip over myself, I looked at myself in the mirror, hoping I would see rippling muscles that made me extra heavy, saw what denial had been hiding, had a little cry in the change room, and then I went back upstairs, sat down at my desk and joined a weight-loss forum and a calorie tracking site. Haven't looked back since. :smile:
  • Xbella
    Xbella Posts: 14
    They say you gain a Freshman 15 pounds, well I gained a teaching 50. When I started teaching a little over a decade ago, I was at the ideal size for me. I have always had to watch what I ate and exercise but I had it in check. I found that each year that I taught I would gain about five pounds a year. Add all this up and there you have it..50+gained. I was just too busy with teaching, getting my second masters, being a mom to my son and a Navy wife. Deployments were hard and the hubby was gone every year to one place or another. When he got home, we celebrated with food. While teaching, it could get pretty stressful and while grading papers or writig lessons plans I found myself eating more and more junk. Candy bars and diet cokes were my go toos. My breaking point was the day I stayed home from school because I did not want to be photographed for the yearbook. I was too embarrassed to have my picture taken.
    I felt guilty since a fellow teacher said, "isn't it a shame you missed picture, now your students won't remember what you looked like when they look at the yearbook" I will sadly admit that shouldve been the kick in the butt I needed but it wasn't. Life tends to offer a lot of distractions. My hubby retired from the military and we moved across country. I was fortunate to not have to work for awhile and had time to focus on me. I took a good look at myself and realized...WOW...what happened. So I started going to the gym and working out. The weight isn't coming off as fast as I like it too. However I do feel better. Its a learning process....I still hide in back of workout classes, since I can't stand to see myself in the full lenght mirrors, but I am still there working out. When I get my hair done, I read from my kindle and not look at myself in the mirror. One day I hope to look in the mirror and be proud and not ashamed of what I see. So the journey begins..
  • SteveB1965
    SteveB1965 Posts: 6
    When I calculated my BMI and realised I would medically be considered obese.
  • ButtercupSprad
    ButtercupSprad Posts: 117
    I just read a majority of these posts; amazing reading. You put a lot perspective and light to your concerns. Concerns that I took for granting thinking that some big ppl don't care about themselves. I'm realizing that isn't true nor the case. Thank you for sharing.
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