Husband isn't supportive

He will have to want to do it for himself just as you decided for yourself it was time to change. Don't badger him. Just keep setting a good example of positive change. As he sees how much better you feel, he may come around.

Just make your healthy choices and meals and if he wants something different make him get it himself.

Lead by example!

You can't make him go on this journey with you if he doesn't want to. That should be his decision. Maybe if you stop trying to get him to go along and do it just for you, he'll see the benefits and want to join later.

I'm not married, but that's just my 2 cents.

That's my take as well. My wife isn't as gung ho to eat better as I am. But since she does all of the cooking, and grocery shopping, I have to be picky about what I eat at dinner time. So far, it hasn't been an issue. I just eat a little less, etc. She noticed what was going on, and has since started buying and fixing healthier options for all of us.

Mine is the same way. I am trying to change the way we eat as a family but fight him every step of the way.

You can't help people who refuse to help themselves. You can suggest, you can cajol, and you can fight with him about it, but in the end, he has to make the decision that it's time to change. No one can do it for him. I know it's hard to sit back and watch his self-destruction, but you can't force him to care for himself. All I can suggest is be supportive when he DOES decide to help himself.

If you are fairly young there is much hope that he will come around as he starts to get older. In any case, these people are right. I would stop trying to get him to join in, and just eat your healthful foods and do your exercise on your own, and be a good example. If you start to see positive results in your own life and body, he will see them too as long as your attitude is also positive. If you make it a thing where you are criticizing him for not caring or wanting to join in, you'll have the opposite effect that you are trying to have. You'll actually make him MORE resistant and he'll just end up feeling nagged. He'll feel as though this new healthy stuff is turning you into someone who isn't very fun to be around. If you (as hard as it is) just manage to be cheerful with him, and supportive in whatever way you can, you can always say "Hey I'm going for my walk in ten minutes, you're welcome to join me if you want." And then when he says no thanks, you can say, "Ok, I'll be back soon. Love you!" Eventually he may join in, or he may never, but your marriage doesn't have to suffer. Just keep inviting him each time and cheerfully shrugging off the fact that he NEVER comes with you, and he'll see that you care about him either way. Your relationship will stay strong and one day he just might decide to come along!

Just make your healthy choices and meals and if he wants something different make him get it himself.

This. It's basically what I've been doing with my husband.

We make a hamburger helper type meal at home with real ingredients. Shred cheese, and chili powder, garlic, onion, etc. You get cheesy meaty goodness without the extra chemicals and preservatives. Same goes with mac and cheese. You could try making homemade versions of what he likes, tell him it saves money and lowers the sodium intake because you can control how much goes in. He can always add some at the table later, and it will probably be less than the packaged stuff anyway.

It'll show that you care about his preferences enough to compromise with him, and then you can eat some of it, too, instead of making up an entirely different meal for yourself.

Have veggies and fruit cut up and readily available for snacking. Of it's smaller pieces, not a whole fruit, people are more likely to eat them, and more of it.

I agree...this is for YOU, if he doesn't want it, then don't waste any time or energy trying to make him want it.

My husband hated all veggies...after 12 years of me trying to slip stuff in the meals, he does like a select few things, but he will never eat like me.

We had a nice chat one day about how I need to do this for me, and I understand he doesn't want to change his whole diet, or have a salad for dinner, so would it be ok, if I stocked up on a few of his favorites like frozen pizza and canned chili for him to make his own dinner on the nights that I am having something he hates. That way I am not cooking two separate meals, he gets what he wants, and there is no argument.

Once I got over the guilt of feeling that I should be cooking all his meals, things have gone great...and he is encouraging to me. He couldn't encourage me if he knew it meant his dinners were gonna be *nasty*.

this topic came up a lot when i was doing my "quit smoking website" - support groups help . i am not married but i understood cause i had a roommate who wouldn't quit... the subject's different results the same.

Yes, leading by example is the best way. but many people had to start laying down new "rules" such as no smoking indoors... for food he should (like my sisters husband) get his own junk cabinet cause she/ you wont allow the doughnuts to be apart of the kitchen... let him have it but make him understand that by keeping them "hidden" he is doing it for you. it's your kitchen too. it's your marriage too.
yeah he may never want to join in but the chances are slim if he see how much it's making your life better!!!

My husband isn't on this journey with me either. At first he didn't like the idea of me working out, changing my eating habits. Store trips are his and her's I buy healthier items for me and he buys his junk food and sweets. This is a journey we choose, they didn't so because you're ready for a change you cannot expect them to change because we want to. He will eventually, in time start cutting back on certain things, eating different healtier items and he may not. Either way don't let that stop you.

You can't make him want to take care of himself. Just be the best you can be, and work on the marriage until you decide you can't any more.

My parents have the same problem. My mom calls it "The Fat Wars." My dad makes greenbeans for my mother and will tell her they are green beans and water, while they practically glitter with bacon grease. My husband was the same way so I would make my meals and then on his stuff add cheese. The more I talked to him about eating better or even taking the dogs for walks with me, the worse his eating habits were. But then of course his work is now having a weight loss contest so his attitude has changed!! What an annoying man. Don't preach to him about health. He probably is feeling judged so just let him figure it out on his own. If he sabbatoges you like my dad would do to my mom, tell him you respect his habits so he should respect yours.

I also have to add it doesn't sound from what you said that he isn't supportive just that he doesn't want to do it with you.

Not supportive would be if he was telling you that you can't do it, you are just going to gain all the weight back, things like that.

My husband made it clear that he was not changing his eating just because I was, that is fine with me...I don't ask him to come on walks/ runs it is not his thing, why ask him to if I know he will not want to....

That was a year ago....more recently he made the choice to stop buying so much junk, there have been days I crave McDonalds...HE says "lets do subway instead".....just before winter him and I packed up our car and two kids and went for a hike in the mountains....

Let him come around, and if he doesn't then just keep doing what you are doing...if he buys junk just don't eat it...and if you do don't beat yourself up...we do still get junk and I still eat it...just less...sometimes....


all that being said....he loves to hear how much I have lost, and makes me feel good all the time....he is very supportive, just not willing to change himself