About to give up.

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  • TOYGRRRL
    TOYGRRRL Posts: 251 Member
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    westcoastredh,

    Don't give up. It takes time and dedication. This site is not about rapid weight loss. It's about healthy weight loss that you reach by slowly and surely turning your lifestyle around. It took me a year to truly reach my goal (over 30lbs lost) and be able to maintain it for many months without MFP. I came back because I gained two handfuls on my tummy on a trip to europe and I knew I needed to become accountable again to get back down to where I wanted to be. It is a difficult journey, it's not a yo-yo diet. You will find it easier as time goes by and if I can do it any dedicated person can. I love food! I'm a foodie (I hate that term but it fits)! I live in San Francisco Bay Area so there are TONs of GREAT places to eat and phenomenal produce and meat available to cook with. And WINE! I love Wine with meals! I love artisinal (well made, well balanced) cocktails! And I make it all work. You can too! DON'T give up. You won't regret it. Keep remembering, slow and steady wins the race.

    Hugs,
    Pam
    (TOYGRRRL)
  • badgerbabs
    badgerbabs Posts: 49 Member
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    Does your gym have a balance-type (doctor's office) scale? If so, use that, weigh no more than once a week, and ignore (better yet, toss) your home scale. RE the whole muscle vs. fat density - no, fat doesn't turn into muscle, or vice versa (duh). But (1) muscle is denser than fat, and (2) from your own report your clothes are fitting better, so THEREFORE, in order to have stayed the same weight, you have gained muscle and lost fat. YOU ARE SMALLER, and isn't that the REAL point? It's WORKING, you just can't see it on the d****d scale! I agree, too, that you're probably not eating enough, but not necessarily because of the starvation thing - it's just that surviving on 1200 calories a day is a pretty miserable existence, and you need to be in this for the long haul. Just remember: IT'S WORKING!
  • MountainMia
    MountainMia Posts: 242 Member
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    How do I figure out the net calories? I went to the report, but how do I figure out my average net? Sorry if that is a stupid question!

    I am definitely feeling like my clothes are looser... and I feel like my fitness level is WAY higher than when I started, I could barely walk the first week I was doing the classes, now I a little sore but nothing like I was the first week... The trainer at my gym thinks I am not eating enough, it's just hard to go your whole life being taught the less you eat the thinner you will be , to you need to eat MORE... KWIM?

    There are no stupid questions here. :wink: If you go to reports and click the fitness dot, it will pop up a window where you can select net calories and a window for time (7days, 30 days, 90 days) Click 30 and it will give you a chart. You may have to use a computer to do this as the phone apps limit accessibility. You should be able to see on the chart where most of your bars are landing. If they land between 800 and 1200 consistently, you are probably ok. But if they are below that, you aren't fueling your body for the wicked workouts you are doing. There isn't an "average" button, sorry to confuse ya.

    Congrats on the loose clothes and fitness level. If nothing else, cling to that and let that be your motivation to keep on keepin' on. Health is more about the kinds of calories and the balance in your body. It's counterintuitive to eat more to lose more, but this may be exactly the case for you right now. I'm not suggesting a binge, but a tweaking and adjustment in your goals and nutrition could make the difference you are looking for.
  • westcoastredhead
    westcoastredhead Posts: 47
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    wow!! i went for a run and made dinner, put my kids to bed and came back to all these posts! thank you to everyone who took the time to comment, it means a lot to me to know there are so many people out there who have been through this and have come out the other end a success... I think the 2 major things I have aken from this thread is that I need to realise this isn;t a race! It's so true that it took a hell of a lot longer than a month to be in the situation I am in ( I have been overweight for as long as I can remember! so it makes perfect send that it isn't going to come off overnight. I want to live a long health life for my beautiful girls and awesome husband that should mean so much more than numbers on a scale. THANK YOU for that reminder! And secondly I really think I am not eating enough calories... I am burning a minimum of 450 calories a day working out ( based on the numbers my HRM is giving me ) and I think the most calories in a day i have eaten is 1700 amd that was only once! It's just really hard to mentally and psychologically wrap my head around eating more, I know that's just years of being told eat less = weigh less. So I have to try and get out of that mentality. I am going to try and up my calories a bit and see how it goes, and also try and have smaller meals with snacks in between. A typical day for me is 1 egg, 1 piece wholewheat toast and a coffee, then for lunch a spinach salad with chicken, feta, cuke, avocado and light dressing, then for dinner baked boneles skinless chkn breast with at least a cup of veggies and a half a cup of rice. For a snack at night I eat beets, or veggies and hummus or celery and peanut butter ... that type of thing... maybe throwing some snacks in between will get those additional calories in that I need. Still reading through the posts... thanks a lot... I have been using this site for over a month and never checked out the forums, there is such good support here, I will definitely try and be more involved in the forums, it has given me the reality call that I needed!
  • westcoastredhead
    westcoastredhead Posts: 47
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    How do I figure out the net calories? I went to the report, but how do I figure out my average net? Sorry if that is a stupid question!

    I am definitely feeling like my clothes are looser... and I feel like my fitness level is WAY higher than when I started, I could barely walk the first week I was doing the classes, now I a little sore but nothing like I was the first week... The trainer at my gym thinks I am not eating enough, it's just hard to go your whole life being taught the less you eat the thinner you will be , to you need to eat MORE... KWIM?

    There are no stupid questions here. :wink: If you go to reports and click the fitness dot, it will pop up a window where you can select net calories and a window for time (7days, 30 days, 90 days) Click 30 and it will give you a chart. You may have to use a computer to do this as the phone apps limit accessibility. You should be able to see on the chart where most of your bars are landing. If they land between 800 and 1200 consistently, you are probably ok. But if they are below that, you aren't fueling your body for the wicked workouts you are doing. There isn't an "average" button, sorry to confuse ya.

    Congrats on the loose clothes and fitness level. If nothing else, cling to that and let that be your motivation to keep on keepin' on. Health is more about the kinds of calories and the balance in your body. It's counterintuitive to eat more to lose more, but this may be exactly the case for you right now. I'm not suggesting a binge, but a tweaking and adjustment in your goals and nutrition could make the difference you are looking for.

    okay i figured it out and in the last month I have only gone over 1200 calories 5 times, i think it is safe to say now that i am simply not eating enough taking in the amount and intensity of my work outs. thanks for that tip!
  • lilyflor
    lilyflor Posts: 123 Member
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    I started losing weight at the beginning but then stop as well :( it is very discouraging but the other day I measured my self and I did lose some inches everywhere. I haven't lost not one pound for a good 4 weeks already so this week I change my goals and I added more calories to my day, I will weight in tomorrow but somehow I doubt that I lost anything (5 weeks in a row) according to mfp I should be about 6 pounds less by now (you know how it tells you how much weight you will weight in 5 weeks after you're done with your diary) I been trying to lower my sodium and my sugar intake. If in two weeks my weight is the same I guess I may try to lower my calories again... :(:( this is so hard! good luck to you and any other reader that is going thru the same.
  • jessicabass1
    jessicabass1 Posts: 28
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    i had the same thing happen to me. and i know you don't want to hear it because i sure as heck didn't want to. but i made a choice after several responses and decided not to look at the scale until three months into the whole jouney thing. i measure myself instead with inches and i also measured myself on a "how do i feel i look?" kind of scale. and although i have weighed myself before my deadline i do feel better and i talked to some RN's about my issue and they said if i lossed weight at first, i wouldn't be normal. it's best to gain muscle because that is the only way to loose fat. and o how i hated that. i am a person that needs to see things on paper. i NEED to see the scale go down! but i took the kick in the *kitten* and sucked it up and kept working on myself because i knew it needed to be done and i do feel pretty good. it still stinks not to eat whatever i want but i like what im becoming! i hopt this helped.
  • atjays
    atjays Posts: 798 Member
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    Biggest piece of advice is to ditch the scales and use measurements. There are way too many variables that can lead to the scales being off wildly from day to day. I know my weight can swing upwards of 5 lbs. I weigh in once a week at the same time. What matters more to me is the measurements, and those are constantly shrinking. Since you're apart of a gym doing the cardio classes, have someone there take your measurements weekly and keep track of them.

    Last bit of advice, you didn't gain the weight you did in 6 weeks, don't expect to lose it that fast.
  • MountainMia
    MountainMia Posts: 242 Member
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    I've been doing a little research on plateaus and "starvation mode" and I found this great article that looks scientifically sound, and is put more simply and clearly than anything else I've seen. It's a fantastic explanation with tips and tools to determine what is really going on when the scale won't budge AND HOW TO FIX IT. I will be referring to it when my plateau comes... and it will.

    http://www.answerfitness.com/208/weight-loss-plateau-tactics-overcoming-weight-loss-plateau/

    I'm not entirely sure you are on a plateau because you are seeing other results, but please check this out before you make any changes. I no longer believe in "starvation mode" but I still fully perscribe to "eat more to weigh less" in certain instances. It's worked for me in the past and if it's right for you, you will know it.
  • mllowe2
    mllowe2 Posts: 50 Member
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    Minus the wine this is pretty much my story, I started January 3 and have only lost 7 pounds! I think I might switch from P90X to something entirely cardio...I don't know, I'm frustrated too. I did Zumba last summer, twice a week and lost 21 pounds in 2 months. Here I am doing p90 4-6 times per week and only 7 pounds in almost 2 months!!

    Sorry now I'm whining (not trying to steal your attention!) I just know how you feel! But hang in there, it's a daily struggle for me but I'm very very hopeful the end result will be worth it!
  • Cytherea
    Cytherea Posts: 515 Member
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    Muscle weighs more than fat. Do you clothes feel bigger? I take fiber caplets everyday to help move it on through.

    NO NO NO-- please. A pound of muscle weighs a pound. A pound of fat weights a pound. Muscle is more DENSE than fat. So a pound of muscle takes up less space or volume than a pound of fat. A person who has 150 pounds of mostly muscle will be slimmer, more lean, than a person who has 150 pounds of mostly fat.

    I guarantee you, almost all of the time when someone says "muscle weighs more than fat", there is a silent and obviously implied "by volume" on the end of that. That should be especially obvious given the context here where a woman is complaining that her diet and exercise are not altering her weight. You can continue to "correct" people about it if it makes you feel smart, but in the vast majority of cases people do realize this, and your obtuse semantics are simply going to annoy people.

    Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NOBODY thinks that a pound of muscle weighs more than a pound of fat. The statement is SO obvious it drives me crazy when people correct it like this and debate about it. That's just the phrase and there is nothing wrong with it. Everybody understands it unless they are a complete idiot that thinks a pound of bricks weighs more than a pound of feathers.
  • Cytherea
    Cytherea Posts: 515 Member
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    Minus the wine this is pretty much my story, I started January 3 and have only lost 7 pounds! I think I might switch from P90X to something entirely cardio...I don't know, I'm frustrated too. I did Zumba last summer, twice a week and lost 21 pounds in 2 months. Here I am doing p90 4-6 times per week and only 7 pounds in almost 2 months!!

    Sorry now I'm whining (not trying to steal your attention!) I just know how you feel! But hang in there, it's a daily struggle for me but I'm very very hopeful the end result will be worth it!

    Are you serious? It hasn't been 2 months since January 3, it has barely been over 1! 7 lbs. in a month is a LOT! What is your struggle, exactly? I've never been able to lose more than 5 lbs. a month, ever- I'd be thrilled with 7 lbs! And 21 lbs. in 2 months is unhealthy and unrealistic, by the way.
  • penelepurr
    penelepurr Posts: 204 Member
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    I agree that the scale is not the most important gauge of your progress; that said, my bf just got a new scale after having frustrating results that didn't make any sense week after week given his diet and exercise, and just like that, he's been progressively losing weight. If you are going to use the scale, make sure yours isn't on the fritz! :wink:
  • virgomuse
    virgomuse Posts: 33 Member
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    Muscle weighs more than fat. Do you clothes feel bigger? I take fiber caplets everyday to help move it on through.

    NO NO NO-- please. A pound of muscle weighs a pound. A pound of fat weights a pound. Muscle is more DENSE than fat. So a pound of muscle takes up less space or volume than a pound of fat. A person who has 150 pounds of mostly muscle will be slimmer, more lean, than a person who has 150 pounds of mostly fat.

    I guarantee you, almost all of the time when someone says "muscle weighs more than fat", there is a silent and obviously implied "by volume" on the end of that. That should be especially obvious given the context here where a woman is complaining that her diet and exercise are not altering her weight. You can continue to "correct" people about it if it makes you feel smart, but in the vast majority of cases people do realize this, and your obtuse semantics are simply going to annoy people.

    Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NOBODY thinks that a pound of muscle weighs more than a pound of fat. The statement is SO obvious it drives me crazy when people correct it like this and debate about it. That's just the phrase and there is nothing wrong with it. Everybody understands it unless they are a complete idiot that thinks a pound of bricks weighs more than a pound of feathers.

    I'm in support of the correction, it isn't ALWAYS implied that the non spoken words "by volume" exist. I work in the healthcare industry and educate people all the time on this EXACT CONCEPT. People rationalize alot to excuse themselves of bad behavior and I think by leaving the words "by volume" in silence is one of these examples. It needed to be said and it wasn't said to be mean or in a smarty pants way. It was adding information. People need to learn to say what they mean and mean what they say, it will bring clarity and understanding to the situation, yeah? So just because you have this understanding, doesn't mean everyone does. :O)
  • virgomuse
    virgomuse Posts: 33 Member
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    Some of these may have already been mentioned, but I didn't take the time to read the whole thread. Forgive me if I sound redundant on some points.

    1. Watch your sodium intake. Your weight fluxuates from day to day depending on your fluid retention levels. Sodium causes you to hold on to excess fluid possibly making you heavier than you were when you weighed in yesterday.

    2. Don't weigh more than once per week because your weight does go up and down from day to day.

    3. Did you take starting measurements and a before picture? If so, remeasure yourself about every six weeks or so. Sometimes you will see progress in this way even if the scales aren't moving like you think they should be. I would also suggest finding a fitness professional who can take your BMI measurements with calipers (more accurate than height/weight chart), and have this measured every six weeks or so. I would take another photo about every thirty pounds or so.

    4. This is not MYWEIGHTLOSSPAL.com, this is MYFITNESSPAL.com. Set fitness goals for yourself. For example, today is February 9th. Say you went for a three mile walk today, and you completed it in 1:15:00. Set a goal for yourself to be able to walk three miles in 1:00:00 by March 9th. By setting fitness goals, you can measure improvement in your level of fitness, which is another way to measure success.

    5. Set up a complete physical with your primary care physician. They will do a complete blood workup including cholesterol and trygliceride levels. They will also take your blood pressure and RHR (Resting Heart Rate). Keep implementing those healthy habits for one year, then have another physical done to see what has improved. I would recommend having your BP and RHR checked about every three months or so.

    Health and fitness success cannot be measured by scales alone. Also, remember, no matter what the scales say, a healthy lifestyle cannot harm you, it can only help improve your health. Keep at it just for the health benefits if for no other reason. Don't EVER, EVER, EVER give up. :flowerforyou:


    Just wanted to say I really like your post and point number 4 rang home with me. Thanks for adding your two cents! :O) Much Blessings to you and your success!!
  • hexrei
    hexrei Posts: 163
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    Muscle weighs more than fat. Do you clothes feel bigger? I take fiber caplets everyday to help move it on through.

    NO NO NO-- please. A pound of muscle weighs a pound. A pound of fat weights a pound. Muscle is more DENSE than fat. So a pound of muscle takes up less space or volume than a pound of fat. A person who has 150 pounds of mostly muscle will be slimmer, more lean, than a person who has 150 pounds of mostly fat.

    I guarantee you, almost all of the time when someone says "muscle weighs more than fat", there is a silent and obviously implied "by volume" on the end of that. That should be especially obvious given the context here where a woman is complaining that her diet and exercise are not altering her weight. You can continue to "correct" people about it if it makes you feel smart, but in the vast majority of cases people do realize this, and your obtuse semantics are simply going to annoy people.

    Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NOBODY thinks that a pound of muscle weighs more than a pound of fat. The statement is SO obvious it drives me crazy when people correct it like this and debate about it. That's just the phrase and there is nothing wrong with it. Everybody understands it unless they are a complete idiot that thinks a pound of bricks weighs more than a pound of feathers.

    I'm in support of the correction, it isn't ALWAYS implied that the non spoken words "by volume" exist. I work in the healthcare industry and educate people all the time on this EXACT CONCEPT. People rationalize alot to excuse themselves of bad behavior and I think by leaving the words "by volume" in silence is one of these examples. It needed to be said and it wasn't said to be mean or in a smarty pants way. It was adding information. People need to learn to say what they mean and mean what they say, it will bring clarity and understanding to the situation, yeah? So just because you have this understanding, doesn't mean everyone does. :O)

    Most people do realize this, I'm not sure why you are bringing up rationalization or bad behavior here, it makes no sense in this context.
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
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    A month is NOTHING! Don't believe the 2 pounds per week spiel! YOU are you! I was a very slow start. I ALWAYS gave up after 2 weeks because I was starving to death! Look at my profile for a lot of my history if you are interested. My husband trained with NFL years ago and I even asked him when I started how come my loss was ridiculously slow. He told me don't expect weight loss for at least a month. He was right. My loss was very slow, indeed.

    I know it isn't popular to think this way. But the most important thing is to keep at it. keep doing the healthy changes that you've made and stick with it. your body WILL give in. It is a tug of war right now. Your body does not want to lose weight. It never had to before, right? Please stick with it. I was always a quitter, too. This time I decided not to quit. It took me 5 years, I lost my path for a year or two but I NEVER gave up on myself. I lost 53 pounds, gained back 20 and now am down to the last 3. I've gone through quitting a job to sit at home in front of the computer for work now, I've gone through menopause, and I'm 55 in April God willing! I don't do crazy exercise and I eat whole foods and no sugar, salt, or processed foods. I am aiming for vegan 80% of the time. I am still battling the last 3 pounds. I plan to keep at it for as long as it takes.

    You can do this. Get a tape measure and go by that, too. Give your body a chance. IT MUST LOSE WEIGHT! Maybe not in your time frame that you think it should but IT WILL LOSE.

    Just don't give up. I have the link to my blog on my profile page so read the blogs I wrote about my journey here this time to lose the last 30 pounds. I also started at 205. You've probably watched the Biggest Loser, too. They sometimes have great losses and sometimes gain. Don't let it get you down. You are making great strides in your health.

    Best of luck to you!
    Susan
  • GThinMintG
    GThinMintG Posts: 9 Member
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    My diary is always telling that if I eat under 1200 calories I'm forcing my body into starvation mode. Once your body is in that mode it will reserve all fat possible, sometimes that means eating away at muscle mass I'm told. You should always eat 1200 calories a day, but I think it is also possible that you've burned fat and gained muscle at the same time. Are your clothes fitting any better? Have you lost inches? Those are the real indicators of how you are doing : )
  • MacMadame
    MacMadame Posts: 1,893 Member
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    The numbers MFP gives are just estimates. You have to go by reality. Maybe it's telling you that you burn more than you do when you exercise, for example. (I mention that one in particular because it's very common.)

    In my case, MFP (and Daily Plate) both told me I should be losing 2x as fast as I was. But I wasn't. They were estimating my BMR too high and giving me too many base calories to eat. I had my RMR (similar to BMR) tested and it confirmed this. I also bought a Heart Rate Monitor and it confirmed MFP was telling me I was burning more than I was. (Okay, except for running -- I was burning more than it said for running for a while.)

    But, as I lost weight, MFP went in the other direction. When I tried to stop losing and maintain, MFP told me to eat 200-500 calories a day less than I was burning based on my BMR. It had my BMR *way* too low. If I had listened to it, I would have been skin and bones!

    In the end, you have to do what works for you and what your reality shows you. If you can get yourself tested and use those numbers instead of MFP numbers, you will be in better shape as you won't be beating your head against a wall.

    One final issue: how accurately do you log? I used to be OCD about logging. I logged EVERYTHING within an hour of eating it, if not before. I logged condiments. If I had 1 bite of something, I logged it! I measured and weighed EVERYTHING too.

    During that time, I found (by wearing a BodyMedia FIT) that if my calories logged were saying I had a 30-50 calorie a day deficit, that I would maintain. I figure that means even with being super strict, I was missing 50-ish calories a day. These days, I'm lazier about logging. And right now I supposedly have a 200 calorie a day deficit. But based on my weight loss, I think it's smaller. I think just by not being quite so neurotic about it, I am losing about 100 calories a day to the wind, either by forgetting or miscalculating serving size or otherwise screwing up. I'm okay with that, but I'm not really trying to lose right now either.

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