Husband isn't supportive

I'm right there with you. While I can substitute some healthier options in the family diet, such as light margarine, 2% cheese, 1% milk, and light white or whole wheat bread, there are some things he will not put up with (like turkey pepperoni or turkey sausage, whole wheat pasta, etc). I've heard the excuse of "I don't need to lose weight so I can eat whatever I want" and he's even tried making a point by throwing my lower fat turkey pepperoni for homemade pizzas onto a bonfire. He has IBS and should be eating a lot healthier than he does but he does pay for it down the road when the IBS flares tell him he's putting too much junk down his throat.

If you can get by with some compromises on healthier alternatives (like what I mentioned above) then try the rest in moderation. I only buy the extra lean ground beef since he has to have cow instead of pork or turkey. If I make a husband-approved meal, I eat a carefully scaled back portion or sub a salad for the stuff I can't eat.

I've had eye rolls and laughter when I tell him I'm serious about losing weight and that it's a lifestyle change and not a diet. He's not supportive at all of my efforts and I even stopped exercising early on in my transition because of constant interruptions by him and the kids. The final straw was when he came into the garage while I was on the ellypical and started smoking. It's hard enough to get into a regular work out routine, and worse still when you have someone smoking all around you while your breathing harder and trying to get fit. I don't let him drag me down though. Weight loss is a change you do for yourself and not to please your spouse or someone else. He can make poor lifestyle choices as long as they don't affect me or the kids. I'm going to get healthier each day and one day he'll wake up and realize he's been an anchor that can't even hold me back.

Stop trying to change him. I see people arguing about this stuff WAY too much. Just let him be who he wants to be - your pushing him and bugging him is just going to make you both miserable so let it go - do your own thing. If he joins you on his own, cool but if not the fact that maybe he is eating all the things that tempt you will only make you stronger in the end and you will have him to thank.

Your husband is a big boy and knows perfectly well what he is doing to himself. If eating and being a couch potatoe makes him happy let him be happy. The fact that his poor eating and exercise habits bother you is on you, not him. Again, let it go. There is nothing you can do but set a good example and hope he chooses to follow - but let him choose on his own.

I wish you luck. Don't give up on your mission to get healthier.

Thanks you guys for all of the wonderful advice! I have tried the whole "tricking" him into eating certain foods, but he is not only stubborn but incredibly picky.

You sound like you are talking about a pet or a child, you realise he is an adult with his own free will? I don't agree with the posts saying to swap his foods for healthier stuff, it's his choice what he eats at the end of the day, would you like it if he started adding things you didn't want to your foods.
Your problem isn't that he doesn't support you, he hasn't tried to stop you living healthier, it's that he isn't falling into line and doing as you do. Good for him, you can't bully him into healthy eating, it should be his choice.

i think the problem is the way you're approaching the situation. just because he isn't into eating healthy doesn't mean that he doesn't support YOUR efforts. i think you should let him know that it is important to YOU to do this & that you're not trying to force him into doing anything he doesn't want to do, but that you would appreciate his support. my boyfriend still eats whatever he wants and buys junk food at the store & i'm okay with that - but i know it's not right for me anymore & he is very supportive of that. if he wants chinese or something like that, i just let him know that he can have that, but i can't. sometimes i find that he's willing to compromise and go somewhere like subway where i can get something healthier but he can still get something he enjoys. sometimes we don't eat the same things, but we still eat *together*

also, when it comes to exercising, i've been trying to run more & that's not something he's into, so i don't try to force or nag him. instead, when i feel like i need an exercising buddy and a little motivation, i'll suggest we do something active together & he's quick to suggest that we take the dogs for a walk or go skating or bowling, etc.

I have not read the 3 pages of replies, but wanted to share my two cents real quick. I've been married for 6 years, my husband and I were both in the best shape of our lives when we got married. I was raised with a Jewish background, him- Italian. Needless to say- our lives revolved around food, and our next meals. Since being married, I've gained 60 lbs (40 of which from having our baby) and he gained about 80.

For the past two years I would try a little diet here and there or go walking but nothing was really effective. It wasn't until HE decided he wanted to diet as well that we both kicked things in to high gear.

He's got to want to do it. He wont do it against his will. As wives, it's not as much about WHAT we say to the men, but HOW we say it and HOW it comes across. Encourage him in a positive way, and if he chooses to not want to join in your diet, leave him be. Eventually he may come around. Maybe also try grocery shopping alone!

I definitely think that as you start losing weight / toning up your fella will notice this will make him think about his own body. Just keep going and make him aware that it is important to you.

Didn't read any of the responses, just the initial post. He sounds like a ****.

He can only change himself. Maybe he will see your great progress and some day it will click in his brain. I know it was like that for myself and boyfriend. He was all getting in shape and eating healthy, and I was eating cake for breakfast and having too much sweets. It took 2 years for it to click in my head.

Now, I am eating healthy and exercising, but I am doing it for myself. I want to live longer, be healthier and only buy smaller clothes!

Be strong and keep up the good work.

Been there, done that, for years!!! My husband is over 300 lbs. with a heart condition. I have to lose weight for my health and I have decided that he is not going to mess me up this time. My health depends on me, not him. Funny thing though, last night we went out with friends and they noticed I was carefully watching what I ate. They gave him a huge lecture about his weight and health without my prompt. My husband said nothing, but in front of him I told them thank you, that I had been saying the same thing for years and hoped that maybe now he might listen. I don't think it really sunk in.

It took almost 8 years of me getting on my husband's case before he finally went to the doc to get medicated for his diabetes and high blood pressure. Then he started working out and asking me to cook healthy. I didn't listen, I was depressed and eating to cope. I wasn't working out and defiant about being able to eat what I want. One day I woke up and just said that's it, I'm ready. I now lead the family again on healthy eating, weight loss and working out. Everyone is on board.

My point is, he will change when he's ready or finally gets scared enough to do something about it. Until then if he wants to eat unhealthy, then he gets to cook it. Cook healthy meals for the family and the unhealthy junk if he wants it bad enough, he can cook it.