Getting hit on now I have lost weight, awkward

13

Replies

  • jodycoady
    jodycoady Posts: 598 Member
    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    Actually I must correct you on that. In many other cultures "fat" is considered healthy and attractive. I myself, prefer being thin and fit -- but it's not necessarily the view of the whole human race.
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    And some people think that just because they got fit that they are attractive.....but really they're even more unattractive than they were when they were fat!!!

    Welcome to the unshallow side of the human race.

    Hey! I think I love you.

    I KNOW I love you! :love:
  • _Ren
    _Ren Posts: 89 Member
    Whoah, when he touched your hips that was crossing the line.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,223 Member
    I agree with the other posters that him touching you is completely inappropriate.

    I had a similar situation, but it was a customer who had made comments and asked me on a date. I politely declined and a few weeks later he came in to conduct some business and another girl was helping him. I happened to be on my break and was headed outside for a walk. He had made a comment to the girl that was helping him and she told me what happened.

    I told my boss, my boss called him and told him in the future that if he needed assistance to call HIM. LOL This guy and I are NOT co-workers, he was my customer and my direct supervisor AND the company that I work for do not tolerate that kind of nonsense.

    I would tell him that you are not comfortable with him touching you. If you are not comfortable telling him that, request assistance from your HR or union rep. Good luck!!!
  • saramerrigan
    saramerrigan Posts: 555 Member

    ........, and if he touches me again, or says anything inappropriate to me, I will make it clear that I am not interested, and then if it carries on I will take if further,


    Karen

    I personally feel that saying you're not interested is strong enough....it's almost saying that his behaviour is acceptable but becuase you're married you're not interested. The message should be that his actions were totally inappropriate, and in my view, harrassment.

    Hope for your sake, and for the children in the school, that it was a silly mistake
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,223 Member
    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    What if the OP was your wife/mother/sister/daughter?

    I suspect your response would be dramatically different.
  • BeautifulArtemis
    BeautifulArtemis Posts: 641 Member
    Becauce I work for a federal agency I'm required to stay with all civilians working in the building and I've noticed that I'm flirted with ALOT.....From the maintenance guy to the phone guy....They are never rude about the flirting and always classy about it in most cases but a couple months ago I had a very unpleasant experience. We had a guy in the building working on the handicapped door and during the whole process of staying with him, he repeated kept grabbing his junk and looking at me winking even mentioned my weight loss and how pretty I was.....I thanked him for the compliment and pretended not to notice and kept looking the other way talking with other employee's as the came down the hall but I was very uncomfortable. I was so happy to escort him out of the building! I told my boss I REFUSE to work with him anymore....My Boss tried to tell me it was just a nervous reaction but he's worked in the building before AND never did that in the past!
  • thompson000
    thompson000 Posts: 38
    gross, these guys sound creepy, I could understand if they were saying these things when you are out on the town but not while you are working. They might want to look up the meaning of professionalism. yikes.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    Creeper alert....and he works with CHILDREN? Not a great role model....report him, this isn't 1954
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    That's not getting hit on, that's sexual harassment. Tell them that you are happily married and not interested, and that you do not appreciate inappropriate behavior. Also, write down the date and approximate time of the incidents, in case you need to make a formal complaint.
  • DivaDiane
    DivaDiane Posts: 73
    I imagine I would have turned around and given him the "stink eye," you know, that look you get from your mother that says, "It's NOT OK." If he didn't get the message, I think I would have a chat with him, telling him in no uncertain terms that touching your body or anyone's body at school is a definite NO NO. If the behavior persists, tell him you are going to report him and DO IT.

    What a d-bag.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    If she were outside of work, and a man (or woman) expressed an interest in her that is one thing. She is AT WORK, and people are making comments that are not polite. Also, touching someone like that in the workplace? I don't think so.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    A local drag king show here always starts out with a section called "good touch, bad touch" - the general message being that good touch is any touch that is consensual while bad touch is not.

    So, OP, next time he puts his hands on you, I suggest you bad-touch him back... with a non-consensual foot to the balls.
  • christina0089
    christina0089 Posts: 709 Member
    Compliments are one thing. But when you are getting physicaly touched by another person especially without any type of invitation to do so. It is WRONG! He needs to be told in no uncertain words that if he feels he can put his hands on you then you can certainly put your hands on him then slap him upside his empty head!

    It may not be the answer but it sure as hell would teach him to keep his hands to himself!
  • beqy12
    beqy12 Posts: 569
    As a young professional, I've dealt with creepy old men twice now. Anything that makes you uncomfortable IS sexual harassment. One time I went directly to my boss who I have a good relationship with, the other time was a friend of my boss' so I made a joke saying "I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to touch females in the workplace" thinking he'd think twice about the statement and stop just to cover his bases... but when it happened again, I said "No really, it makes me uncomfortable" and he stopped. I think he's always been overly flirtatious and didn't think twice about it before... but letting him know I was uncomfortable worked - I would hope it would for any decent human being.
  • m615dan
    m615dan Posts: 40
    Wish I had this problem
  • netty1959
    netty1959 Posts: 46
    I think i would report the head for sexual harrasment, if he says i thought you were one of the children is that the way you would want your children touched, i would have give him a good kick were he would feel it the most, and a slap around the chops
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.
    Im curious if you ever come back to a thread after posting to see the general consensus that everything you say makes you look like a *kitten*? Its a theme I have noticed over and over again.

    Lol!!
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    I'm waiting for Killagb to admit that his sexual harassment panda needs some remedial training on Title Vii liability.....assuming he is US policy panda....
    Not likely to happen. You go ahead and start touching women on the hips at your work....see how that works out for yourself.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    I don't think people have to expect that others will come up behind them, uninvited, and touch them.
    No, but the general notion of beauty bringing out the best and worse in people is just a reality.

    Set boundaries - even if that means a slap to the face or worse. When it was my wife, I ruined the guy.
    Welcome to my human race - :smile:
  • crystal_loga
    crystal_loga Posts: 106 Member
    If he came up behind you and put his hands on you, and made a comment like that to you, it is UNACCEPTABLE! To me, that's borderline sexual harassment. I would report him, ASAP! If he can't control himself in a work environment, then he should NOT be working near children! This makes me sick just thinking about what he could be doing. I pray that this hasn't happened to others! Please speak up for yourself and report him!
  • Panda86
    Panda86 Posts: 873

    Then today the head actually came up BEHIND me, put both hands on my hips from behind and spoke to me over my shoulder saying 'oo I though you were one of the children, I was just wondering who that tall young lady was and realised it was you'....Ju was almost having kittens and kept going on about it all the rest of the day/
    My question is - how do I handle this, or do you thing I am imagining it? Am I over reacting and should I just carry on smiling and being pleasant. I am not sure what to do, I need to work in this School from time to time.

    No, you are not overreacting. You need to tell him that its extremely unprofessional AND inappropriate. If he continues, I would file a complaint for sexual harassment. Getting a little extra attention is totally normal- but that's seriously crossing the line, and I can't imagine your husband would be very thrilled if he saw it. Just my opinion though!
  • funkycamper
    funkycamper Posts: 998 Member
    Obviously he didn't think you were one of the children, but if he did, and walked up to a child and put his hands on her hips and whispered in her ear, I would call him a PERV!!!

    Now... As an HR Professional, what he is doing is Sexual Harrassment, and I would politely tell him that his attention is creating an Uncomfortable work environment, and I would seriously consider reporting it to HR.

    Good Luck

    Yes. While I feel bad that he did this to the OP, I'm actually a bit more worried that he seems to think it's OK to put his hands like that on the kids. I think he needs to be watched closely for the safety of the kids. Creepy.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    I might get flamed for this, but I don't think it's sexual harassment until she has expressed to this person that does not appreciate his words or advances. If she does not say, I don't like that, or Please stop, how is he to know that she doesn't reciprocate any feelings? Lots of romances start in the workplace, yes even if the parties are married. Once she has told him, or his superior, or HR, then anything that occurs after that would be a violation and could land him in trouble.

    OP needs to speak up; subtlety doesn't work in these cases.
  • chrystee
    chrystee Posts: 295 Member
    I would have to report him, just based on the comment alone. It skeeves me out.
  • TonyL68
    TonyL68 Posts: 133 Member
    Touching you on the hips from behind!? Most definitely over the line. And the bit about children is very disturbing. Not sure what the laws are like in the UK, but as an educator yourself you may even have an obligation to report him for their protection. Even if you don't have a legal obligation, comments and actions like might evoke a moral obligation for some.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    Actually I must correct you on that. In many other cultures "fat" is considered healthy and attractive. I myself, prefer being thin and fit -- but it's not necessarily the view of the whole human race.
    Name the region with such standards; let the migration begin! :drinker:
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    Actually I must correct you on that. In many other cultures "fat" is considered healthy and attractive. I myself, prefer being thin and fit -- but it's not necessarily the view of the whole human race.
    Name the region with such standards; let the migration begin! :drinker:

    I believe you might actually have a lot to contribute to people in the way of fitness advice. But the constant fat bashing and insults overshadow any helpful information you may have to impart. That is just my opinion, one I'm sure you will answer with something to the effect of "Suck it up sister and stop whining".
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    I don't think people have to expect that others will come up behind them, uninvited, and touch them.
    No, but the general notion of beauty bringing out the best and worse in people is just a reality.

    Set boundaries - even if that means a slap to the face or worse. When it was my wife, I ruined the guy.
    Welcome to my human race - :smile:

    If that is what you meant to express, you didn't do it very well. You made it sound like just because a woman is attractive, she should have to contend with unwanted touching and people being inappropriate. I wholeheartedly disagree with that.
  • CaWaterBug8
    CaWaterBug8 Posts: 1,040 Member
    I'm waiting for Killagb to admit that his sexual harassment panda needs some remedial training on Title Vii liability.....assuming he is US policy panda....
    Not likely to happen. You go ahead and start touching women on the hips at your work....see how that works out for yourself.

    I know I could not be successfully sued in my state in the US for doing so on one occassion....if I was an employee I might get discplined-- but not successfully sued. I just got a kick out of your "wrong" post and the smug "panda comment".... I am now assuming you are not in the US.... and I don't claim to know anything about sexuall harassment elsewhere... why I edited my original post...

    Are you for real? :huh:
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