Losing weight and dealing with some of the compliments

If I wore a new dress to work, and my coworker came up to me and said, hey, you look super cute today, my first reaction would not be, wtf b*tch, was I ugly yesterday or something?

It's. A. Compliment. A compliment today does not equal an insult on yesterday.

It's very hard to let go of our inner fat-kid just because we don't look that way on the outside anymore. But people are not trying to make you feel bad, they are trying to recognize the achievments you've obviously worked hard for and let you know they are encouraging you to keep doing great.

So keep doing great!!

That is the exact analogy I was going to use.

I think a lot of you are over-analyzing the compliments. Maybe you don't mean to, but step back and look at the big picture. YOU worked hard to lose the weight/get healthy/whatever and someone recognized it - not only did they recognize it but they took the time to say something positive to you about it. How many projects do you finish at work that go unmentioned?

After reading all of these comments, I'm still going to go ahead and keep giving compliments to my friends.

ok... let me make this clear...

i love the compliments... i mean hell, i didnt do all this for nothing

what im saying is how sometimes the compliments can be alittle ridiculous or just too much...

i've accepted the fact that when a person loses 40lbs, its a dramatic thing... a person definitely looks different.. what can a person say? i mean you would think everyone would say great job but they wont... i know that...

its just im the same person just not dressed the same... f it... i dont care... i let it roll off my back and i keep moving but it is hilarious to hear and sometimes alittle rough (listen im human) but in the end i know its just a compliment....

I get what you mean - it would be nice if people thought about the meaning of what they want to say before they blurt it out. For the most part they're trying to be nice, but they just don't consider how their words could be construed.

For a slightly different example - if I am in a rush in the morning and don't put makeup on, I get a lot of "oh, you look so tired, are you sick?" - er no, this is my real face thanks!

I totally see where you're coming from, i had a friend comment on my PROFILE picture on facebook, "omg, did you lose a million pounds?"...HAHA what?!?! it's easy to think, omg, did i look that awful before?? and I was only about 3-10lbs MAX overweight, according to BMI!! but i think it's important that we don't make assumptions about what people mean, and to take the most positive approach, so i just decided to take the compliment! i worked damn hard to lose 20lbs and i looked reaaaal good in that picture! ...so i didn't delete the comment

I lost a lot of weight once. I was enjoying all the nice compliments from people. A woman I knew pulled me aside to tell me how great I looked. I thanked her and then she felt the need to say "You were such a fat little thing. You look great now that you lost all that blubber". I really think that she meant it as a compliment. I felt awful.

Know exactly how you feel. A few years ago as a teenager I was obese but then I lost 35kg and was so thin I was underweight and everyone who saw me EVERYONE would make a huge deal about how thin I had gotten. At first I was flattered but the. It got a bit embarrassing like why was I, a hippo? What hurt me most was the guys I had been friends with for users suddenly developed an extra interest in me. Ugh, talk about making it clear all they care about is that I was now thin. People tried to tell my mum I was anorexic (which I wasn't. I had a stress related stomach ul er type thing that caused the loss. It was just none of their business).

For a slightly different example - if I am in a rush in the morning and don't put makeup on, I get a lot of "oh, you look so tired, are you sick?" - er no, this is my real face thanks!

Oh gosh! I can totally relate to this! ^

Reality is...I WAS FAT. One reason I didn't start my journey sooner than Jan. 2011 is because it took me a LONG TIME to realize that I wasn't meaty, chubby or just plain overweight...I WAS FAT. I don't have a problem reminding myself that I WAS FAT because it helps me stay on course on this journey. I like to remember the things I hated about BEING FAT so I don't ever return to that wasteland.

My issue with complements is that they can lead to complacency. You ever hear about the sports prospect who read too many of his own press clippings about how great he was, before he ever proved anything...and then he never became much? That can work with weight loss and complements. I keep reminding myself that I'm on a journey to achieve great health and I don't care if someone else thinks I've gone far enough.

Exactly! I have to remind myself I still have a ways to go, even if lots of people think you look fine!

I just smile and say thank you. It's about me and what I've achieved, and I'm not going to let them take that away from me.

And if I really don't like that person, I just say "I feel so much better - you should try it!" hahah

Okay, please don't take my post the wrong way because those are typically the compliments I would give someone who's lost weight..."Wow, you look great!", or "You've lost weight, great job!" I guess I think that if someone has been trying so hard to lose weight, they would appreciate people noticing and complimenting them.

So my question is.... What kind of compliments DO you want then if you don't like people telling you that you look good?? Would you rather have no one say anything at all?

The staff at the gym I go too always say "Goodness, you are looking well!" Which I'm pretty sure means "Good job on losing 20 kilos"... but without actually mentioning my weight.

When I first started losing weight, I was embarrassed by the compliments as well, because it was such a lot of weight to have to lose. I'm more comfortable accepting compliments now though. It just takes time.

I've yo-yo'd with my weight all my life - so I've been round the block a few times on the old compliments thing

I relate to the OP - it is bittersweet, especially when you let the weight loss slide and become gain again

When I was 18, i worked away from home for 12 months. I was 175lbs when I went away (I'm 5ft 3, so that meant around a UK size 16/18) and then I went to WW and got down to 117lbs (so a UK size 6/8) You can imagine, I looked pretty different - in fact, I could fit into my 13 yr old sister's jeans (and she was slim) I remember going to a party and suddenly becoming "visible" to men I'd always liked but who had always ignored the fat girl. I remember feeling angry, while one guy was telling me how gorgeous I looked, that he'd never noticed me before, and wanted to say "you know what, I'm still the same person I always was"

I'm now heading for 40 (gulp) and back at 155lbs and starting to lose weight again. But this time, I'm doing it for different reasons. Now I'm married to a man who loves me and thinks I'm sexy as a size 12/14 - so it's not about men or attractiveness per se. Personally, I feel being 30lbs overweight affects my ability to ride horses correctly (which is part of my living) and also stops me achieving other, non physical goals because of some weird fixation on body shape. When I lose weight this time, and people start to notice, I'll just say thanks and remind myself that actually, changing the inner me is far more important then changing the outer me that people see.