Fat Shaming

Lozze
Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
edited November 10 in Health and Weight Loss
After reading the 'obese' thread and giving myself a night to sleep on it I have to post this.

This is a weight loss website as well as a fitness website. The majority of people are here to lose weight. Knowing that the amount of fat shaming that goes on here is disgusting. Being fat, curvy, obese, overweight, morbidily obese, voluptuous or fluffy does NOT make one a bad person. It does not make them horrible or evil or deserving of shame. It generally will make them unhealthy but most people realize that. They don't need to be bluntly told how unhealthy they are. They know it. Trust me. They might be in denial but deep down they know it. They're on this site.

Secondly dont post on here with 'at least I'm not THAT big' or a varation. It makes you look like an *kitten* and makes the people who are that big feel like crap. Please, think of others and their feelings.

Thirdly, to the people who have either lost their weight or have never been overweight and are here to lose a small amount of weight stop being blunt, stop saying it like it is. We fat people don't care. All we know is we have some skinny person telling us how awful we are. Trust me, a lot of us get this in our every day life. We don't need it from somewhere that is meant to be supportive.

Lastly to all those people who have this nutty idea that morbidily obese people can't walk anywhere, need wheelchairs and oxygen listen up. Until last night I was morbidily obese. I run, I lift weights, I walk every day. In other words THIS is a morbidily obese person.

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Replies

  • SONIA820
    SONIA820 Posts: 208 Member
    Thank you, it's sad that a post should even exist and even worse that you felt the need to put it out there, but obviously it needed to be said.
  • robinogue
    robinogue Posts: 1,117 Member
    Well said!
  • beatreject
    beatreject Posts: 1
    Thank you so very much for posting this. I have been a member of MFP for over a month, but this is my first posting anywhere because it is the first one I have found that stresses HEALTH over WEIGHT.
  • nhughes1864
    nhughes1864 Posts: 102 Member
    You go girl! Tell it like it is :) Most people need to get over the weight thing and tune into the health thing! I would much rather be healthy than skinny and just because you are skinny does not mean you are healthy!
  • PinkEarthMama
    PinkEarthMama Posts: 987 Member
    <3
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
    I must have missed something...
  • sistergoddess
    sistergoddess Posts: 38
    Excellent! People put too much stock in appearance over health. If the world focused on healthy instead of skinny, then I think everyone would be better off ( including the skinny people who get told they need to eat a cheeseburger).

    I'm still considered obese because I'm short, but I know I'm eating better and am healthier than when I was thinner!

    Good Luck on your journey!
  • SithZombie
    SithZombie Posts: 165 Member
    <3 Bump, because this needs to be read by other people.
  • kekl
    kekl Posts: 382 Member
    Great post! I fully agree.

    I have to share: This reminds me of an episode of Dr. Oz they had playing at the gym last week, I was absolutely disgusted by it and had to fight wanting to leave my workout early. It was about very obese women who were happy with their appearance and were actually quite healthy, and Dr. Oz and various people spent the whole time fat shaming them! I was absolutely DISGUSTED, not only by the fat shaming but the looks that people in the audience were giving these women were like they were animals and not fellow human beings, it made me so angry and I wanted to punch things.

    That is the first time I have seen that show and I will never ever be watching it again. It made me so angry.
  • pmich08
    pmich08 Posts: 193
    Okay so, I agree that maybe bashing people who are obese on here is not nice, BUT, if you want to stress health over weight I'd like to point out that no matter how much you run or how much weight you can lift, if you are obese or morbidly obese you are unhealthy. That much fat on you puts stress on your organs, bones, joints, etc.

    Although it may come across hurtful on some occasions, a majority of the people on here are trying to help, and sometimes having someone tell you something you already know is the kick in the butt you need to get yourself into gear. Plus, many of the people on here have been right where you are or have some sort of knowledge you may not.

    It wouldn't hurt to listen to some of them, you may learn something. And if someone truly just being mean, there is an ignore function you can utilize.
  • Megthatgirl
    Megthatgirl Posts: 68 Member
    I did a similar rant and rave on this very topic before. Im trying to lose my weight to join the military... and I had people being extremely negative towards me, saying that the military wouldnt want someone who used to weigh 270 lbs and all kinds of garbage.. Ive had people point out to me that I weigh a lot, and Ive tried to explain the concept of muscle being less dense than fat... and that I have 145 lbs of lean body mass... then I had to stop and think... Who are these people Im explaining myself to? Certainly not anyone that will help me succeed if all theyre doing at this point is tearing me down!
    Ive mostly kept off the forums because of how many jerks there are.
    Its my fitness Pal, not my fitness Aholes!!
  • jeyko
    jeyko Posts: 368 Member
    Well said!
  • mixedfeelings
    mixedfeelings Posts: 904 Member
    I completely agree! I feel like this in real life too, the sort of judgement that you must sit around eating junk all day to be overweight. Some people find it harder to lose weight, and I don't mean in a getting their head around things. I have never been able to eat the normal 2000 cals a day even with an active lifestyle and I know a lot of other people are the same, I've put my weight on by eating around 800-1800 cals a day.

    I usually find the people that bark the loudest to others, telling them what they think they are doing wrong usually haven't had to struggle.

    I like this site, this site is here to help people wanting to lose weight, put on weight and maintain their weight. I like to keep it positive, I know what's healthy and what isn't I don't need to be told unless I ask for an opinion on something.
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
    I did forget to say that if people are morbidily obese, obese or overweight (or even in a healthy weight range) and can't do what I do that's not an issue. Everyone needs to do what they can do to be healthy.
    Okay so, I agree that maybe bashing people who are obese on here is not nice, BUT, if you want to stress health over weight I'd like to point out that no matter how much you run or how much weight you can lift, if you are obese or morbidly obese you are unhealthy. That much fat on you puts stress on your organs, bones, joints, etc.

    I wondered how long it would take.....

    First off at this point in time I AM healthy. My doctor after performing extensive tests on me that include blood work and fitness tests has told me I'm in perfect health. Except after strenuous exercise i dont have aches and pains. You, random person on the internet do not get to tell me im unhealthy.

    Now having said all that, if I stay at my current weight I don't believe I'll continue to be healthy. I still don't like how I look. So I'm still losing weight (which should be obvious by my ticker) For me. Not because some random person on the internet told me so.

    I got a really hateful comment when I first started. Had me crying all night. For a lot of people that would be enough for them to quit. It's hard enough when you first start this to stick to it without having negativity thrust in your face. Often unasked for negativity. I didn't let that happen and kept going.
  • chantyfol
    chantyfol Posts: 8
    I did a similar rant and rave on this very topic before. Im trying to lose my weight to join the military... and I had people being extremely negative towards me, saying that the military wouldnt want someone who used to weigh 270 lbs and all kinds of garbage.. Ive had people point out to me that I weigh a lot, and Ive tried to explain the concept of muscle being less dense than fat... and that I have 145 lbs of lean body mass... then I had to stop and think... Who are these people Im explaining myself to? Certainly not anyone that will help me succeed if all theyre doing at this point is tearing me down!
    Ive mostly kept off the forums because of how many jerks there are.
    Its my fitness Pal, not my fitness Aholes!!

    Very Well Said!!!
  • hooligansmom
    hooligansmom Posts: 122 Member
    and I had people being extremely negative towards me, saying that the military wouldnt want someone who used to weigh 270 lbs and all kinds of garbage

    It seems to me (I'm no expert but I did serve eight years in the Army) that being in the military takes discipline, and losing weight helps you learn some discipline. Seems like if you went to the recruiter with that story they would be excited to sign you up.
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
    I usually find the people that bark the loudest to others, telling them what they think they are doing wrong usually haven't had to struggle.

    I don't bark. I do try to offer advice when it's asked for, even when it's just my own personal experience. I'm sure most of us struggle with something in our lives.
    This is just the internet, what do other's opinions here really matter?


    Your world is created in your mind, not by others, create a great world and you will live happily in it. :smile:
  • HoosierMomma1
    HoosierMomma1 Posts: 76 Member
    Well said!!
  • Aerohead21
    Aerohead21 Posts: 333 Member
    I feel very similarly! I am honestly surprised by the level of ignorance and judgement people have on this site. I was so excited to find this place because I know I need the support. Unfortunately, that hasn't yet happened for me. So many people are so busy tearing others down in the name of support and then blaming us for reaching out - as if by our reaching out for support we somehow deserve to be reminded that we are disgusting creatures.

    Let's be honest here: I am obese. I am healthy. I am fully aware that I can maintain my health better by losing weight, eating right, and living an active lifestyle.

    No one has a right to take that away from me so do me a favor Random Internet Person and keep your opinions to yourself. Support does not come in the form of shame or blaming. It comes from understanding and caring.
  • SONIA820
    SONIA820 Posts: 208 Member
    If you missed anything, it's the I hate the word Obese and now apparently I have psychological problems....
  • mixedfeelings
    mixedfeelings Posts: 904 Member
    I usually find the people that bark the loudest to others, telling them what they think they are doing wrong usually haven't had to struggle.

    I don't bark. I do try to offer advice when it's asked for, even when it's just my own personal experience. I'm sure most of us struggle with something in our lives.
    This is just the internet, what do other's opinions here really matter?


    Your world is created in your mind, not by others, create a great world and you will live happily in it. :smile:

    Don't know who you are, haven't seen your posts so my comment was not directed at you, I'm sure you don't bark. People are using this site for support so it does matter if said people can't use the site to full advantage. As the rest of my post mentioned, it's the commenting when an opinion hasn't been asked for or the sort of this worked for me so this is how everyone should do it attitude.
  • SONIA820
    SONIA820 Posts: 208 Member
    I feel very similarly! I am honestly surprised by the level of ignorance and judgement people have on this site. I was so excited to find this place because I know I need the support. Unfortunately, that hasn't yet happened for me. So many people are so busy tearing others down in the name of support and then blaming us for reaching out - as if by our reaching out for support we somehow deserve to be reminded that we are disgusting creatures.

    Let's be honest here: I am obese. I am healthy. I am fully aware that I can maintain my health better by losing weight, eating right, and living an active lifestyle.

    No one has a right to take that away from me so do me a favor Random Internet Person and keep your opinions to yourself. Support does not come in the form of shame or blaming. It comes from understanding and caring.


    I could not agree more!
  • melonsss
    melonsss Posts: 144 Member
    These words needed to be said. Thank you
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
    I don't bark. I do try to offer advice when it's asked for, even when it's just my own personal experience. I'm sure most of us struggle with something in our lives.
    This is just the internet, what do other's opinions here really matter?

    So do I. But there's a nice way to get it across without making the person feel like crap. I've been blunt with ppl before. But it's not my first response.

    As easy as it is to say 'it's the Internet' negative comments do hurt ppl.
  • jenbooks
    jenbooks Posts: 55 Member
    Well said - thank you for making this post. I hope you don't mind that I sent you a friend request. :)
  • gemiwing
    gemiwing Posts: 1,525 Member


    I got a really hateful comment when I first started. Had me crying all night. For a lot of people that would be enough for them to quit. It's hard enough when you first start this to stick to it without having negativity thrust in your face. Often unasked for negativity. I didn't let that happen and kept going.

    I'm very glad you are still here :)
  • sugarbeans
    sugarbeans Posts: 676 Member
    Thank you for posting this!! Needed to be said indeed (unfortunately)
  • EricJonrosh
    EricJonrosh Posts: 823 Member
    I must have missed something...

    Agreed.
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
    I agree. I think it is body shaming in general. Trust me I get it too. Have you ever noticed the amount of skinny bashing on this website? Then one negative comment on an bigger person and there is huge uproar. It is wrong on all occasions IMO

    ETA: I also don't think many people know what over weight, obese, and morbidly obese look like. We have a very skewed look at it on most occasions unless you know what category you are in. When people think obese they think maybe around 250-300 lobs, but morbidly obese people think of 350+ and the people that cannot walk. They dont mean it to be as rude as you may take it. Just a lack of knowledge or understanding
  • rutkowsm
    rutkowsm Posts: 43 Member
    I'm so glad someone posted this. I've seen a ridiculous amount of shame being dished out for people who are both large and small, and it's so infuriating.

    Shame isn't healthy, and it's certainly not the way to motivate anyone to become healthy.
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