Fat Shaming

I think what people need to remember is, the internet is text. We are not blessed with tone, inflection, or even a facial expression. Because of this wording is important. If someone says, "you're obese and you are unhealthy", they may just be stating fact or what they know/have been told. To the person it's said towards, depending on their mood, it can be an attack, an insult, or just plain unnecessary. Same goes for vice versa. I've only been around a month but having been part of communities that deal with sensitive subjects like weight loss or relationships, bad wording is how *kitten* hits the fan quick.

That aside I don't think having people come in and begin to tell a member how big they are and how unhealthy it is and so on is really needed. Why? Well hey, they're already here so obviously some effort is being made. Now if said person is NOT making an effort or is being immature, then sure, remind them of their predicament and how it can be changed. Those that post just to compare their largest to someone else's or to say something along the lines of, "whoo I'm glad I've never been THAT big!" just need to hold their tongue. This site is not a p*ssing contest to see who's bigger or smaller or who can drop the weight the fastest and be the most healthy being on Earth.

To make a long story short: this is a site of support and while many (myself included) use tough love, it needs to be used wisely and carefully because weight loss, especially if you're among the obese or morbidly obese, is hard enough and takes a grand toll on the mental state of that person already. Don't baby, but don't be a Drill Sergeant, either. Lord knows I would have quit if it hadn't been for people pushing to remind me of my goals.

Shame isn't healthy, and it's certainly not the way to motivate anyone to become healthy.

I couldn't agree more! Positive reinforcement gives much greater results, lifts people up and creates vibrant communities- shame just creates isolation, guilt (helloooo emotional eating triggers) and a group of people who are afraid to speak or have anything but a perfect body/response/opinion.

preach.

Honestly, I agree with absolutely everything OP has said (and tracked the obese thread all the way through), but some people are set in their beliefs and it takes a lot to change the way they think.

People are beautiful and we all have different journeys to go through. But there will be a s**t-storm here.

BUMP

Everyone needs to read this. Props to you.

Okay so, I agree that maybe bashing people who are obese on here is not nice, BUT, if you want to stress health over weight I'd like to point out that no matter how much you run or how much weight you can lift, if you are obese or morbidly obese you are unhealthy. That much fat on you puts stress on your organs, bones, joints, etc.

Although it may come across hurtful on some occasions, a majority of the people on here are trying to help, and sometimes having someone tell you something you already know is the kick in the butt you need to get yourself into gear. Plus, many of the people on here have been right where you are or have some sort of knowledge you may not.

It wouldn't hurt to listen to some of them, you may learn something. And if someone truly just being mean, there is an ignore function you can utilize.

Perhaps, but those with fitness knowledge to share might do better to learn tact before attempting to edify the rest of us...

I think what people need to remember is, the internet is text. We are not blessed with tone, inflection, or even a facial expression. Because of this wording is important. If someone says, "you're obese and you are unhealthy", they may just be stating fact or what they know/have been told. To the person it's said towards, depending on their mood, it can be an attack, an insult, or just plain unnecessary. Same goes for vice versa. I've only been around a month but having been part of communities that deal with sensitive subjects like weight loss or relationships, bad wording is how *kitten* hits the fan quick.

That aside I don't think having people come in and begin to tell a member how big they are and how unhealthy it is and so on is really needed. Why? Well hey, they're already here so obviously some effort is being made. Now if said person is NOT making an effort or is being immature, then sure, remind them of their predicament and how it can be changed. Those that post just to compare their largest to someone else's or to say something along the lines of, "whoo I'm glad I've never been THAT big!" just need to hold their tongue. This site is not a p*ssing contest to see who's bigger or smaller or who can drop the weight the fastest and be the most healthy being on Earth.

To make a long story short: this is a site of support and while many (myself included) use tough love, it needs to be used wisely and carefully because weight loss, especially if you're among the obese or morbidly obese, is hard enough and takes a grand toll on the mental state of that person already. Don't baby, but don't be a Drill Sergeant, either. Lord knows I would have quit if it hadn't been for people pushing to remind me of my goals.

This is the best thing I've seen written on here in a long time!

I'd like to know the context of this fat bashing. I've gotten tough love from people who have lost 50+ pounds. Sometimes people ask for help but their diary shows they aren't trying, or they're fooling themselves. If someone that lost 100 pounds tells me I'm doing something wrong, I listen. On the other hand, if someone comes around who has never been fat and starts lecturing, they don't last long.

This topic reminds me of the diary non-publishers topics that always come up.

Well said!

i agree!!! Thank you!

I think this needs to stay on the homepage for all to see.

Well, being "skinny" does not make anyone a bad person either. Just saying.

It's not the being skinny that's the problem, it's the misinformed judgements being doled out that is the problem. The skinny-shaming is also bad and we should all be for health here- it's FITNESS pal right? It's just that the topic of this thread is about fat shaming.

I think a separate thread about skinny-shaming would be a good discussion point as well. Perhaps keep the topics separate since there are some big differences between the types of shaming. As a skinny-shaming thread could tackle the topic of 'Real Women have curves' type statements.

Well, being "skinny" does not make anyone a bad person either. Just saying.

You are absolutely right!! Being inconsiderate, disrespectful and hurtful is a one-size-can-fit-all condition. I don't see this as a battle if "skinny vs. fat", I see it as more of a reminder that what we communicate to one another can have a profound effect (good or bad), and in a virtual venue like this, where tone, inflection, body language and facial expression cannot be utilized, it is imperative that we choose our words and the way we combine them wisely and tactfully.

"What matters is that you are taking the steps instead of sitting and letting your situation become a health risk."

You my friend speak for a mass of us when I was younger I was pretty much in that range so I know how it feels. I have contributed a lot of time and effort into the thought process of getting in shape and now am reaping the benefits of all the work. It takes time and dedication to get to a point where you want to be. For me it has taken about 3 years but I'm finally in that "fit" range that everyone awes over but I'm not an *kitten* about it. I give advice. I work. The basic help I give people who want to lose weight is "start moving... keep moving...." that's my philosophy for getting fit. I learned this over the years that it doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something. And now that something has grown. So simply put, if you are "big" you can work for what you want. If that is to weigh less or look more fit/tone. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you are taking the steps instead of sitting and letting your situation become a health complete risk.

But I just put myself in the badass category and anybody can join me in it!

Well, I'm off to join the badass category.

Good idea... me too!

Right there with you!

Well, being "skinny" does not make anyone a bad person either. Just saying.

You are absolutely right!! Being inconsiderate, disrespectful and hurtful is a one-size-can-fit-all condition. I don't see this as a battle if "skinny vs. fat", I see it as more of a reminder that what we communicate to one another can have a profound effect (good or bad), and in a virtual venue like this, where tone, inflection, body language and facial expression cannot be utilized, it is imperative that we choose our words and the way we combine them wisely and tactfully.

I completely agree! :flowerforyou:

Okay so, I agree that maybe bashing people who are obese on here is not nice, BUT, if you want to stress health over weight I'd like to point out that no matter how much you run or how much weight you can lift, if you are obese or morbidly obese you are unhealthy. That much fat on you puts stress on your organs, bones, joints, etc.

Although it may come across hurtful on some occasions, a majority of the people on here are trying to help, and sometimes having someone tell you something you already know is the kick in the butt you need to get yourself into gear. Plus, many of the people on here have been right where you are or have some sort of knowledge you may not.

It wouldn't hurt to listen to some of them, you may learn something. And if someone truly just being mean, there is an ignore function you can utilize.

I am going to be blunt.

Please shut up.

Just because someone has visible abs doesn't make them healthy. Sumo wrestlers are overweight but they are some of the most conditioned athletes in the world.

Thank you.