My boyfriend is missing

Tenoreo90
Tenoreo90 Posts: 329 Member
in Motivation and Support
I know this is completely off-topic, but this is the one community I feel I can talk to.

My boyfriend suffers from depression and is a recovering alcoholic. He's been doing pretty good, then randomly, yesterday (the 14th) he became VERY down. Talking about suicide, etc. I am so scared. We made plans to go to a date tomorrow, he seemed happy about that. (That's the day our daughter goes to daycare). I faintly remember him saying he was going out to a bar (NOT LIKE HIM at ALL...he's a homebody) down the street. I remember telling him not to go and I was worried, and he said he'd be fine. I told him to text me when he gets there, he said I'd probably just be asleep anyway. I told him to anyway. He never text me, the bar closed an hour and forty minutes ago. I thought he was going to be walking but the car is gone (we borrow his grandma's car and she has work in the morning...I don't know what to tell her).

I have text and called MANY times...no answer...I keep checking our live call page on our local news site. I saw a report of a suicide a few miles away...I'm trying to stay calm and hope he just passed out in the car outside the bar or something stupid. But it's pretty cold....I'm so scared...I don't know what to do.
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Replies

  • Trinketona
    Trinketona Posts: 190
    So sorry you are going through this. But the best thing is to call the police. :frown:
  • jessica4466
    jessica4466 Posts: 7 Member
    i hope u have called the police
  • twiztedgrl69
    twiztedgrl69 Posts: 191 Member
    You need to call the police and report him missing...there is no time limit to report a person missing...don't let them tell you to wait til morning to call...if you are worried that he might do something then you need to call it in so they can be on the lookout for him...trust me, that's what they're there for
  • diverchic73
    diverchic73 Posts: 314 Member
    I agree, call and report him missing, they can help find him, and recommend help for him (and you) to get through this. hugs
  • Starla_
    Starla_ Posts: 349
    echoing the others - call the police
  • jiggs31
    jiggs31 Posts: 117
    I really hope he is ok. Maybe try and go looking for him?
    Call the bar where he went or take a ride down there and see if he is ok?

    Keep calm and if he doesn't show up call his friends.
    If he truly could be at risk, call the police and ask for their help or advice.

    I hope he turns up ok hun xx
  • littlebuddy84
    littlebuddy84 Posts: 995 Member
    Call the guards and report him missing! Fingers crossed he'll come home x
  • k1mcat
    k1mcat Posts: 68
    My heart aches for you. So many people suffer from depression and feel hopeless. My wish for you is that he returns and gets the help he needs. Please, update when you find out more.
  • fwhittaker
    fwhittaker Posts: 104 Member
    Call your friends / family and have them be with you and look for him with you.

    I have been in a similar situation, and luckily I followed my instinct. It saved a life.

    Sorry to be scary but it's better to be safe, and when you do find him and sees how much trouble you have gone to to find him he will realise how silly he has been. Good luck.
  • shady81x
    shady81x Posts: 290
    I don't have anything helpful to say except that I hope he's okay. Do update. {{ hugs }}
  • 210889
    210889 Posts: 21
    If you both have iPhones, both instal the 'Find My Friends' app. You can use it to track down where your friends are and if this ever happens again, you'll know where he is. (Though hopefully it doesn't.)
    Keep your chin up, stay positive, don't panic and as everybody else has said - call the police.

    I really hope everything is okay, let us know! xo
  • Tenoreo90
    Tenoreo90 Posts: 329 Member
    I just talked to the police. I can't believe this is happening. I feel so sick. I let them know he's suicidal, they sounded concerned. He doesn't really hang out with anyone, a result of his crippling depression. (He's in therapy, he's been urged by his therapist and myself to get on medications, but he kept putting it off...)
  • Tenoreo90
    Tenoreo90 Posts: 329 Member
    And I can't go look at him with the little one asleep...if the police don't contact me in an hour I'm calling my sister in law...she's a teacher so I really hate to wake her, but I don't know what else to do...
  • scotslass
    scotslass Posts: 317
    Aww this is awful. I know exactly how you are feeling many times my brother went missing after drink and drug binges. I hope he turns up safe and well. xxxxxxxxxxx
  • scotslass
    scotslass Posts: 317
    Just keep calm, depression is a terrible thing and maybe he has just needed some time to clear his head, I would phone your Sister as you need someone by your side xxxx
  • katcj
    katcj Posts: 32 Member
    Was there any news? Did he turn up? Hope so xxx
  • MoogieOh
    MoogieOh Posts: 141
    If he's a recovering alcoholic why was he going to the bar?


    Also if he has his phone on him and had had an accident someone would of picked it up. Stay calm. He might of just drunk too much and is wondering around thinking or maybe he went back to someones place to continue drinking?
  • Tenoreo90
    Tenoreo90 Posts: 329 Member
    He was relapsing, unfortunately. He had been pretty good for a few weeks, like I said...then bam...like a brick.

    I keep checking the traffic and crime reports, nothing so far. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.
  • twiztedgrl69
    twiztedgrl69 Posts: 191 Member
    And I can't go look at him with the little one asleep...if the police don't contact me in an hour I'm calling my sister in law...she's a teacher so I really hate to wake her, but I don't know what else to do...

    If you don't talk to them within that time, also call them back...I'm a 911 dispatcher and if you call the police and ask to speak to an officer, they cannot refuse you...it's your right to talk to someone and you can give them the veh desc, license plate, and his desc so they can keep an eye out...I would also call the hospitals to see if he might have checked himself in or was taken to the ER for any reason
  • pstaceyca
    pstaceyca Posts: 306 Member
    Hope everything turns out fine. So sorry you have to deal with this. Please let us know how it goes.
  • Tenoreo90
    Tenoreo90 Posts: 329 Member
    And I can't go look at him with the little one asleep...if the police don't contact me in an hour I'm calling my sister in law...she's a teacher so I really hate to wake her, but I don't know what else to do...

    If you don't talk to them within that time, also call them back...I'm a 911 dispatcher and if you call the police and ask to speak to an officer, they cannot refuse you...it's your right to talk to someone and you can give them the veh desc, license plate, and his desc so they can keep an eye out...I would also call the hospitals to see if he might have checked himself in or was taken to the ER for any reason

    Thank you, I think I'll call the hospitals, now.
  • Tenoreo90
    Tenoreo90 Posts: 329 Member
    Why would you let him go if he's an alcoholic. I know you're stressed but honestly. If my bf was suicidal and an alcoholic I wouldn't let him go out to a bar or i'd atleast go with him

    Trust me, I didn't want him to go. I tried to stop him. We also have a small child at home, I can't just get up and go with him.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Like the gentleman above said, call the hospitals and 911. I will be praying that everything turns out OK with you.
  • MoogieOh
    MoogieOh Posts: 141
    Why would you let him go if he's an alcoholic. I know you're stressed but honestly. If my bf was suicidal and an alcoholic I wouldn't let him go out to a bar or i'd atleast go with him

    Trust me, I didn't want him to go. I tried to stop him. We also have a small child at home, I can't just get up and go with him.

    Why isn't he on antidepressants?
  • veepie
    veepie Posts: 103
    Why would you let him go if he's an alcoholic. I know you're stressed but honestly. If my bf was suicidal and an alcoholic I wouldn't let him go out to a bar or i'd atleast go with him


    She really doesnt need bashing at a time like this. If you dont have anything supportive to say, Dont say anything at all.


    I hope you find him honey and have some peace of mind. I know this is a worrying time. Best wishes xx
  • Hurricane_C
    Hurricane_C Posts: 806 Member
    Hoping everything turns out okay. Let us know when you find him.
  • scotslass
    scotslass Posts: 317
    Why would you let him go if he's an alcoholic. I know you're stressed but honestly. If my bf was suicidal and an alcoholic I wouldn't let him go out to a bar or i'd atleast go with him

    I wouldnt judge unless you have been in that situation...her hands are tied with a toddler invovlved
  • flopsy1973
    flopsy1973 Posts: 46
    Phone the police. Hope you find him and he is ok .
  • LisaLashesxx
    LisaLashesxx Posts: 133 Member
    could you not ask a family member to stay with your little one? I would wake them up and ask and be out there looking myself1

    Its hard for you, but wiritting on here is not getting him found hunni. get someone to go with you, you know where he might have gone more than anyone else.

    make sure to inform the police and the hospitals. I pray he comes home to you soon.

    Have him check into the hospital on his return this is bad for him, for you and your little one.


    XX
  • LisaLashesxx
    LisaLashesxx Posts: 133 Member
    Why would you let him go if he's an alcoholic. I know you're stressed but honestly. If my bf was suicidal and an alcoholic I wouldn't let him go out to a bar or i'd atleast go with him

    Trust me, I didn't want him to go. I tried to stop him. We also have a small child at home, I can't just get up and go with him.

    Why isn't he on antidepressants?

    He might be.....answering your damning questions isnt helping.....go blog somewhere else and let this girl find her BF.

    prayers.x
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