My boyfriend is missing

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  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
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    Some people need to try to blame those in unfortunate situations to convince themselves that they have some control over their own lives, and therefore nothing like this could ever happen to them. It's just the same as all the people who blame the parents if a child gets abducted. It's about maintaining their own illusion of safety and control.


    And it's rubbish. So ignore it.


    I really hope he turns up soon.

    Amen. At the end of the day, no one knows what they'd do unless they've been in this situation themselves and even then, people are very different. No one should be made to feel like they didn't do the 'right' thing and should therefore blame themselves. Especially when what that person needs more than anything right now is support.
  • hipbonesthighgap
    hipbonesthighgap Posts: 111
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    Keeping this thread open on my browser. Really hope to hear some news soon. Hopefully the trolls are back under their bridge now.

    xx

    Me too. I keep refreshing.
    I hope he is safe and sound.

    <3 xxxx
  • emberin
    emberin Posts: 56 Member
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    Been there. Prayers and strength to you.
  • MrsSpinks
    MrsSpinks Posts: 274 Member
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    Hope you find him soon, good luck x
  • Lyric82
    Lyric82 Posts: 119
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    I really hope you have found him and he is safe and sound. It's very irritating that police in general do not take mental illness as seriously as they should - i will be thinking of you <3
  • kykykenna
    kykykenna Posts: 656 Member
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    Oh you poor thing!! I hope and pray he is found safe. You have a very large MFP community wishing you the best.
  • iishnova
    iishnova Posts: 259 Member
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    Keeping this thread open on my browser. Really hope to hear some news soon. Hopefully the trolls are back under their bridge now.

    xx

    Me too. I keep refreshing.
    I hope he is safe and sound.

    <3 xxxx

    Me too. Hoping for the best for all three of them.
  • sistergoddess
    sistergoddess Posts: 38
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    Prayers sent to you and yours, i hope everything turns out ok.
  • emmasmum07
    emmasmum07 Posts: 43 Member
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    Praying for you and your family.
  • ladylu11
    ladylu11 Posts: 631 Member
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    any news?
  • CLotfy
    CLotfy Posts: 31
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    My husband is also an alcoholic and suffering from depression. He was sober and going to AA for 5 months before falling off the wagon a few weeks ago. He never came home one night and it turns out he was arrested for DUI. As angry as I was, I was glad he was safe in jail. Getting arrested was probably the best thing that's happened to him. He realized that AA alone wasn't working for him. He's now doing AA, seeing a therapist, and seeing a psychiatrist who is prescribing anti-depressents and anti-anxiety medication.

    I hope everything is ok with your boyfriend. I hope you find him and that he is unharmed. Know that all you can do is love and support him, but that ultimately only he can get help for himself. It's so hard to see the ones we love hurt and struggle.
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    there is no time limit to report a person missing...

    Yes there is. It's 24 hours. (Meaning the ridiculous police won't take you seriously unless they've been missing 24 hours.)
  • avonchik
    avonchik Posts: 106
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    Yes, Please call the authorities. He shouldn't be by himself if he is so depressed. I will be praying you find him soon and safe and sound! Hugs:flowerforyou:
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    Please let us know everything's ok!
  • Tenoreo90
    Tenoreo90 Posts: 329 Member
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    Hey everyone, thank you all so much for your overwhelming support. Really, I was not expecting all of this. What an amazing group.

    So here's what happened:

    After the police was NO HELP (even after I tell them he's suicidal) and tells me he's probably just 'hooking up'. They seemed to pretend to take down a description, but no vehicle information whatsoever.

    I called my sister in law, she came right over and lent me her car to go look for him while she stayed at my apartment with the kiddo.

    I found the car at the bar, completely empty, and I felt so sick. I drove around to various places I thought he might be, with no luck. A friend of mine works in homicidal/suicidal investigation assured me she hadn't had any calls in the area.

    I called all the hospitals, no one had him as a patient.

    Around 6 am a loud BANG hit my bedroom window...I opened the door and sure enough, there was my boyfriend, drunk as a loon, soaking wet (it had started raining) and a bit dirty. He is shivering and soaked, I tried to get him to change out of his clothes but he just crashed in the bed and is much bigger than I.

    To be honest I'm more pissed than anything for him putting me through this. His phone and wallet were in his coat, but I can't find his debit card or the car keys. I am SO mad about that as I have to take his grandma to work in the morning...I don't know what I'm going to tell her, she's worried as it is and I hate to stress her out worse.

    I guess I'll just tell her he crashed out and I don't know where he put the keys...? Buh...

    My SIL told me to call my brother in the morning to help with the car situation (grandma has an extra set of keys), but I just HATE being a burden to everyone. I really do.

    I'm trying to calm myself down, for now, but I know this day is just going to be awful. I'm so hurt, angry, embarrassed....*sigh*
  • datguy2011
    datguy2011 Posts: 477 Member
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    Survey says?
  • twiztedgrl69
    twiztedgrl69 Posts: 191 Member
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    there is no time limit to report a person missing...

    Yes there is. It's 24 hours. (Meaning the ridiculous police won't take you seriously unless they've been missing 24 hours.)

    That is not true at all...I work for the police...we take every missing person seriously...if they are not found with us doing some research and looking into it and doing a cell phone trace then they are entered into the national database for missing persons so if they are pulled over or arrested then it will show that department that he has been reported missing
  • curvatrino
    curvatrino Posts: 33 Member
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    Glad that he's okay (relatively speaking).

    You'll get throuogh the day like you do any other.

    You're all in my thoughts. Keep your chin up :)
  • wish21
    wish21 Posts: 602 Member
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    hope he turns up!!:heart:
    Glad he is okay!:)
  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
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    PHEW! Well at the very least, I'm glad he's alive!

    Don't worry about 'being a burden' on anyone. You are absolutely not.
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